Btdubs: I do not own Fairy Tail, and because of that I'm not obligated to make these characters seem exactly like the ones in the series… nor do I want to :3
Have fun!
"WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO BUNK WITH HIM?!"
"YEA, THIS POPSICLE DICK IS STUPID!"
"WHAT DID YOU SAY FIRE-CROTCH?!"
"ZzzZzz…."
Both Gray and Natsu stopped fighting and looked at the man sitting behind the front desk. Crux, or "Grandpa Crux" as the men in the dormitories called him, lay in his chair sleeping as a small trickle of drool slid down to his chin. "He fell asleep again? Who hired this guy!" Gray fumed as he slammed his fist onto the desk, only resulting to what sounded like cracking bones. "FUCK!" he yelled, holding his right hand and staring down in agony. Natsu fell on the floor, rolling around laughing at his friend's misfortune. "You… hand… marble…" he said to himself as he kept laughing. Seeing the guy rolling on the floor, a devilish grin appeared in Gray's face as he swiftly kicked Natsu straight in the tail. "AH! WHAT THE HELL?!" Natsu yelled, jumping to his feet and getting into a fighting position. "You want it, Fullbuster? Last time I checked we're 3 to 4. Me being the higher number!" he said grinning, then focusing on his target.
"My pleasure Dragneel, I'll kick your sorry ass so much that... that... that I'LL have the higher number!" They never where able to fight. Suddenly, before any pouncing and ass-kicking could commence, Grandpa Crux let out a loud yell making both guys fall to the floor. Opening his eyes slowly and scrunching his nose, making his white mustache move in a comical way, Crux slightly lifted himself off of his chair and looked over the desk: both Gray and Natsu had their hands on their heads and were in a fetal positions. Clearing his throat, both men opened their eyes and quickly stood, acting as if nothing had happened. "Grandpa Crux, I thought you'd never wake up!" Natsu said smiling, while Gray quickly quickly muttered how he wished he hadn't.
Looking at them with boring eyes, Crux picked his nose while the two guys look at him in disgust, "If you didn't remember, you both chose to be roommates." Flicking the rather greenish booger off his finger, Natsu muffled a laugh while Gray gagged. Turning to Gray, Natsu punched him playfully on the shoulder, "Oh... right! Best friends?" holding out his hand in truce, Gray took it and rolled his eyes, "Truce number…. 294? Whatever. You're lucky I tolerate you as a best friend." Before Natsu could retort with a smart comment, Gajeel Redfox and Jellal Fernandes came strolling down the North side of their dormitory. "Can anyone explain to me why the hell our dorms are so crappy?! Levy told me they have a regal look… and we get shit for bricks!" Fuming, Gajeel brought his arms over his chest and looked left and right: their dormitories had wooden floors, wooden furniture, and metal frames and nails that held everything together, "This crap doesn't even match!" he yelled. Jellal smirked at his friend and shook his head, "Between you, Gray, and Natsu, it's seemingly obvious that this was made to save on expenses… since you three tend to trash the place." All three other raised an eyebrow and pounced on Jellal while the random on-goers of the dormitory looked and laughed, mainly at the blue-haired guy's girly squeal.
Surprisingly, at the same moment the four guys were having their fight, Romeo waltzed in his older friends' dormitory. Stepping back and cringing at the site, he quickly veered his eyes towards the front desk only to open his mouth in complete awe: the old man, Grandpa Crux, was sound asleep with a pool of drool forming on his desk. Snapping back into reality just in time to have a chair fling across the room inches from him, the fifteen year old grabbed the pack of matches in his pockets and lit one up, throwing it cautiously into the cloud of dust that held all four men. After a few seconds Gray jumped out of the circle, his jeans catching on fire. Yelping, he quickly stripped into his boxers… that had pictures of rubber duckies. The three remaining men stopped, and Romeo couldn't help but to chuckle at the scene: Jellal was in the bottom with his blue hair entangled in Natsu's fingers while he had both his hands around his friends neck, Gajeel was currently straddling Natsu's foot while chewing on Jellal's sneaker. All three let go at the same time and pointed at Gray, laughing out loud.
"FORGET POPSICLE DICK, I LOVE 'DUCKY ASS' BETTER!" Natsu yelled, only to have Gajeel join in, "DUCKY ASS? TRY JUST 'RUBBER DUCKY LOVER'!" Jellal laughed out loud nervously, reminding himself to burn his ducky boxers before Gajeel would notice. "I-It... it was a present from Ultear!" Gray blushed and looked towards the ground, before noticing the presence of a particular black-haired fifteen year old. "YOU," he pointed towards Romeo, before stalking over to him in anger, his ducky boxers swaying fashionably, "YOU ARE DEAD MEAT, BOY!" Looking for an escape root, Romeo stood in shock until Natsu came to the rescue, throwing an arm over Gray's shoulder and ruffling his hair, "Come on Fullbuster, he's fifteen! You'd throw ice cubes at us back then-" "and ducky shorts," Gajeel muttered, as Jellal cracked up in the background. "-When we'd screw around with you! In his defense, he's just trying to break up our fight." Natsu finished before glaring behind him at the two guys, who quickly stopped laughing and nodded in agreement. "Whatever," Gray said as he rolled his eyes, "but you owe me a new pair of pants!" Romeo nodded before Jellal side commented, "AND MORE DUCKY UNDERWEAR!" This time all four besides Gray fell to the floor laughing. Gray turned a bright red before grabbing Romeo by the hair and dragging him towards the new fight that was about to begin.
After more than an hour of punching, hair grabbing, shoe chewing, occasional flashes of clothing being thrown in the air, and the low snoring noise made by Grandpa Crux, finally the five guys lay to waste on the floor. It was passed six, the sun already hinting that it would set. Natsu's chest heaved as he chuckled and muttered towards Gray, "Tied?" He heard his best friend cough a laugh, "More or less." A few more seconds of silence came, all the men still trying to catch their breaths. "You idiots are still counting matches?" Gajeel grumbled, his arms placed behind his head. "I don't think they know any numbers passed five," Jellal retorted, only for Romeo (laying a few feet away, since he was thrown out of there twenty minutes after the beginning of the fight) to hear two thuds and Jellal groaning a 'sorry'.
"We should try to get up," Romeo mumbled, "Wendy texted me that the girls were waiting for us." "WHAT THE HELL?" All four said in unison as they sat up, quickly regretting it as they were each beaten to a pulp by one another: the headaches were rather massive at this point. "Why is it that Wendy texts you but the other girls never text us?" Gajeel said, as he brought out of his pocket a rather beaten black flip-phone. "Juvia tex-" Gray didn't finish before Natsu cut him off, "We know Juvia texts you… you just either don't respond, or don't look at your phone." Waving him off with his hand and rolling his eyes, Gray stood up wincing at his sore muscles. "Let's get dressed then," Gray said, looking down and inwardly cussing at the fact that his ducky boxers earned a few burnt marks from Romeo's match and ripped by the guys. "Romeo, tell 'em we'll be there at six thirty." Natsu grunted as he got up, followed by Jellal and Gajeel. All three looked at the boy still laying on the floor. "A little help here?" he whined, "One of you decided to use me as a paper airplane and threw me to the far corner…"
"Woops" Gajeel mumbled, and picked up the boy. A swift thanks was given before Romeo began limping to his own dormitory two blocks down. The other men went their separate ways: Jellal and Gajeel towards the North and Natsu and Gray towards the South. Before they could all begin going up the rather abnormally long stairs, Grandpa Crux awoke and yelled. Three jumped and fell to the floor cowering, while Gajeel stayed standing, sticking his pinky into his ear and flicking out some earwax. Jellal looked up to Gajeel and sighed in disgust, getting up and figuring to teach Gajeel how to use a q-tip.
"Fair Lad's, remember you have classes tomorrow morning. Don't let me catch you going late to class! Education is an important virtue that all young men and women must take seriously. Why, when I was just a lad I tried staying up la- … eh?" Crux looked around and saw an empty hallway, a random cricket coming into view and chirping. "Children…" he grumbled, before going back to sleep and having a new puddle of drool start to form on the table.
GOOD NEWS: I don't know if this story will ever end :D LOL. There's at least four years of amazing times to write about for these idiots c:
^^^ it's 2015 - I'm serious, I still can't figure out an ending...
P.S. here's my tumblr…. Letterpluslovenotes dot tumblr dot com c;
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-Nina!