So yeah, when I had first uploaded this, I didn't realize I had put chapter two as one, which is why I didn't realize that later when I put the same thing up twice.. -.- So yeah, this isn't a true new chapter.. xD But I don't know if I want to continue writing this fic, I don't like it much. My writing could be so much better. But I might just finish it soon, just to finally finish it and move on.

I woke up, at first confused as to where I was. Then I remembered, I had fallen asleep on the sofa next to Ian. I remember how comforting it had been to just sit next to him while watching the movie, how safe I felt, like I always did with him beside me like that. Damn it, life was so confusing nowadays.

I have been in love with Ian Hecox since 8th grade, two years after we had met that fateful day in science class. Before I became best friends with Ian that year, I was a loner and liked to be alone. I did not talk to anyone; it was as if I was invisible to everybody in our grade. The main reason I distanced myself from everyone around me was because I was secretly gay, and I didn't want anyone to find out by becoming too close to me. It was better that way, back then, because of me being super quiet, everyone just rather ignored me; and I didn't mind, at least it was better than the truth getting out and being bullied for being gay.

Then I had met Ian that one day in science class. I did not want to work with him at first, as he was the class clown in every one of the three classes they shared together, and I was sure that I was going to fail the project. However, I was wrong. Ian seemed happy to have been paired up with the loser. He seemed excited, like I was a puzzle to unlock, a mysral. He kept trying to get me to talk, he was starting to get annoying, . There was just something about him... I wondered why I was just so drawn to him, was I attracted to him? No, not with that stupid bowl haircut of his. No way I that was, I had thought back then.

I had been very determined to keep Ian out, but I didn't know if I wanted had to anymore. He somehow had managed to break down the walls I had spent so much time putting up around myself. It didn't take us long to become friends, then best friends, and then much later, roommates. We got to know each other perfectly. I didn't realize that later that I really had been attached to him back then, even though I didn't realize it at the time. But when I did, it was 8th grade, two years after we had met. It had been prom; Ian had had a date while I had not. I remember being tremendously jealous for some reason. I then figured out that I liked him. After freaking out for a couple of days and figuring out that it wasn't going to help with anything to do that, I came to just accept my feelings for him.

Therefore, in all the years that came, I learned how to hide my feelings very well from Ian. It became very easy after a while. However, sometimes it was still hard, like all the times we had went swimming together at the local pool or when we were tackling each other, trying to make each other laugh. I had though that the feeling would go away eventually. However, I had been wrong apparently. Lately, I've been having trouble keeping my feelings in check unlike usually in the past six months. I could no longer look him in the eye without getting embarrassed and flustered. Every time he brushed up against me by accident or such, I felt shocks of pleasure go though me. I just wanted to run my hands all over him, cause him pleasure, hear him moan my name. But I knew that would never happen. If Ian ever found out I have had a crush of him since the beginning of time, he would be freaked out for sure and move out. I did not want our amazing friendship to become like one of those depressing fan fictions I read on Live journal.

I needed to see him. I yawned and groaned as I made to get up, stiff from sleeping in an uncomfortable position all night. I ran my fingers though my hair and was relived to see that it was not as messy as I had though it would be. Still sleepy from just waking up, I made my way down the hallway and stopped just outside his bedroom door.

I still did not know why I stood outside Ian's bedroom door, listening to his mumbled sleep talking. It was as if I could not control myself, I had to see him now or else I would worry for some reason. It didn't make sense to me, but I still worry about him no matter how short of a time I haven't seen him. With that, I finally finished my small internal thought progress and slightly pushed his bedroom door open. It made a small squeaking sound and I jumped back, hoping it had not woken Ian. When I was sure that it hadn't, I then slowly crept into his bedroom.

Ian was lying in his bed, all tangled in the many layers of blankets, ear buds in his ears. A small sigh came out of him as I moved closer and studied him. Ian's cheat was rising up and down slowly and somehow that comforted me. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep, like nothing in the world come ever trouble him. but lately, I can tell something was brothering him. I couldn't figure out what it was. He has been so distant from me for the last couple months and it bugged me that he was hiding something from me. I let my fingers run over his lips, wanting so badly to just kiss them and taste the pureness and softness of his amazing mouth.