"What is new this fine morning in our beloved Pittsburgh, Tony?"

"We're going to have nice weather for the rest of the week. The storm is finally over and the temperature should rise in a couple of days. It looks like we'll have a nice Halloween after all."

"So go get ready kids! Thank you, Tony. Now, we'll get back to our music. This song is dedicated to all the people that have been hurt and who are listening to us..."

The radio woke him up from another restless night.

Turning in his bed, he pressed the pillow down on his head hoping to be able to get at least another hour of sleep.

A feeble rhythm took the place of the speaker's loud voice.

"It's been seven hours and fifteen days since u took your love away. I go out every night and sleep all day since u took your love away. Since u been gone I can do whatever I want. I can see whomever I choose. I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant. But nothing, I said nothing can take away these blues..."

He turned off the radio and got out of the bed to take a piss and a shower.

An hour later, he took a mug from the shelf and filled it with coffee while taking the phone and pressed the second button. After a couple of rings, the voice mail asked to leave a message.

"Hey mom, it's me. I'm busy now so I won't be able to meet you before the show. I hope that you'll be able to make it" he paused for a second and then quickly said "I love you" before hanging up and dialing the first number on his phone.

"Hello?" a voice said after four rings.

"Hey, it's me. I have some spare time today."

"Great. Why don't I meet you at the coffee shop down your street?"

"Sure. Do you think that you'll be able to make it in half an hour?"

"Sure. Later."

"Later."

He downed his coffee and put the mug in the sink before going into his room to get dressed and head out. It was just a few days before his new show. He couldn't help but think that he felt lonely just like he did for all the previous shows.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"So, how is the show going?" they sat down at one of the table near the window so he could watch the people passing by.

"It's going ok."

"Uh-huh... you don't sound very excited."

He shrugged.

"It's just... I feel like... I haven't been painting for two weeks now. I think that that's it Daph. I'm done."

She rolled her eyes.

"It happens every year around late October."

They sat in silence after that, just sipping their coffee.

"I thought that you were over it."

"Yeah sure."

"It was what? Six or seven years ago?"

"Five years ago" he corrected her.

"Well, it's time to move on."

He looked back at the passers-by in the street and sighed.

"We've been having this conversation for the last five years, Daph. We both know that I can't move on."

"Because you don't want to. Fuck, you don't even want to find someone that will help you move on."

"Because it doesn't work for me. I'm not going to fuck random guys or date random guys hoping that sooner or later, I'll find the right one."

Daphne frowned.

"That's because you're so damn stupid to think that he was the one."

"He was."

"But it's over" she said for the millionth time.

"Don't you think that I know that?" he looked briefly at her before finishing his coffee and left ten dollars on the table. He went outside and lighted up a cigarette waiting for Daphne.

It was two cigarettes later, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry" she whispered.

"I know."

"It's just... I hate that you've been pulling away so much... from... well, everyone. You're always alone..."

"Let's just not talk about it. You're going to LA."

"Yeah." Daphne sighed knowing that it was useless to insist. "It's going to be great. Why don't you come with me? Take a break..."

They started walking down the street. He shook his head.

"No. I have the show on Tuesday and then I'll just try to figure out what to do next."

"You always think that you're not going to paint for the rest of your life. We both know that it's what you're going to do as long as you have life."

"It's not like that anymore. I keep painting him... I..." he took a deep breath and turned towards Daphne looking at her with sad eyes. "I need a break, Daphne."

"So come with me. After the show."

He shook his head again.

"No. I left New York because of him and I'm not going to run away again. IT's futile anyway? I'm going to just focus on something else for a while."

"Ok. What about I leave Sam with you?"

He laughed.

"What? You don't want to have to pay for him?"

She smiled at him, happy to see him laughing. Something that had rarely happened in the last five years.

"He's a cat. He wouldn't like LA."

"So I'm stuck with a snob cat?"

"He's not snob. He's... he's a cat. That's all."

He looked at her for a second before nodding.

"I could use some company."

"Go out if you want some company. Find someone not a cat."

"Daph..."

"Yeah I know... 'Let it go, Daph'." She sighed. "I hate how sad you always look. Are you going to come to visit at least?"

"Maybe. Now that you'll be a famous plastic surgeon, I'll have to stay friends with you, or what am I going to do when I'll start to age?"

"Oh, so I won't see you in the next thirty years?"

"You think that I won't have wrinkles before turning fifty-seven?"

"Yep. Because you're one lucky motherfucker. People like you, are bad for the business."

"I'm bad for the business?" he asked laughing.

"Yes, you are."

"I'll start to get worried every day so I'll have my wrinkles before turning thirty."

"Thanks" she said smiling.

They stopped in front of his building and hugged.

"I'll come back tomorrow with Sam."

"Can't wait!" he said sarcastically before turning around to unlock the door to the building.

"Oh, Jus?"

"Yeah?" he asked turning again.

"I'm sorry that I won't be able to make it to the show."

"It doesn't matter. I don't care."

"Sure" she said sarcastically. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Daph."

He went inside the building and closed the door behind him before running up the stairs.
He liked living alone... but Daphne didn't believe him and neither did his mother who was always trying to find him a partner. He liked being alone because that way, he almost believed that he wasn't going to get hurt again but the truth was, he was already hurt enough to last a life time.

Justin kicked away his converse before lying on the couch. He took the remote control of the stereo and pushed play. The CD started from the last track he was listening to while taking his shower that morning.

Baby when I used to love you. There's nothing that I wouldn't do. I went through the fire for you, did anything you asked me to. But I'm tired of living this lie. It's getting harder to justify. Realized that I just don't love u. Not like I used to...

He pressed the skip button and the next song began. This is the way you left me, I'm not pretending. No hope, no love, no glory, no Happy Ending. This is the way that we love, like its forever. Then live the rest of our life, but not together...

He was about to press the skip button again when he decided to listen to the rest of the song.

This is the hardest story that I've ever told. No hope, or love, or glory. Happy endings gone forever more. I feel as if I'm wastin' and I'm wastin' everyday. 2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind. Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around. If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep I can think that we just carried on...

He closed his eyes.

"I know you! I know what you're like but I'm not that twenty years old boy that thought that you were the king of his world anymore. I'm disenchanted now. You made sure of it."

I single tear went down his cheek and he sighed. Squeezing his eyes shut, he was back in that Loft on Madison Avenue.

"Tonight, was great! You blew them away" He smiled at his lover and he knew that all his love was probably shining in his eyes. He found himself in a tight embrace with a hand resting in his hair and one on his lower back. "What does matter, it was that you were there with me" he heard before being kissed on his cheek.

This time, there were more tears running down his cheeks and he did nothing to make them stop. He stopped trying to control his emotions while thinking about those two years. It was useless... he was never good at shutting down his emotions.

"The next time that I see someone touching your ass, you're going to have to come pay my bail in some police office." He laughed along with the hazel eyed man that he loved so much. "I'm not joking here. I'm being serious. Your ass is mine" he laughed again and this time he found himself being pulled against a firm body. "It's not just my ass that his yours" he whispered. His lover pulled back staring in his eyes before nodding. "I know and... thank you..." Justin looked at him before kissing his lips softly. "You're more than welcome."

Before, he knew it; he was asleep on the couch with that beautiful face that had haunted him for so long, once again present in his thoughts.