Chapter Title: Dontcha Put it in Your Mouth
Style: Drabble
Main Character(s): John Allerdyce (Pyro) and Bobby Drake (Iceman)
Warning: Swearing. Implied slash.
Word Count: 597
Prompt: Public Service Announcements.
Two boys sat together in the back of a crowded classroom. One sat attentively, while the other was slumped over, legs sprawled into the isle, staring at the ceiling.
In the front of the class, Storm was lecturing about how people in the past would try to convince children not to do things through public service announcements with catchy songs and commercials.
As the lights dimmed, St. John Allerdyce cast his gaze back down from the ceiling and spotted the TV standing in front of the class. Its screen flickered to life, blue light casting an unnatural glow over the students' faces.
He sat up, tiny grin on his face, when he spotted two blue and furry puppets pop up onto the screen.
"Oh yeah!"
Blond haired Bobby Drake cast a curious glance at the cheering John and raised an eyebrow.
"I fucking remember this!"
Bobby opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by the song.
"Dontcha put it in your mouth."
"Remember this? Really? I've never seen it before..." Bobby whispered while staring transfixed at the puppets. He shivered lightly and grimaced. Those things were fucking creepy.
He quickly glanced between the TV and John, who was singing softly to himself.
John seemed to have completely forgotten that he 'had an image', and was grinning widely, mouthing the words along with the furry blue puppets.
"Dontcha put it in your mouth, though it might look good to eat, like a muffin or a beet! If you don't know just what it is! (Remember boys and girls) Don't put it in your mouth!"
Bobby stared at John in disbelief for a whole ten seconds.
"What am I doing? I don't even like beets!"
John laughed softly, and slumped back in his chair, smirk plastered across his lips.
"Man. I really see why that stopped airing." Bobby grimaced.
John blinked, confused. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Bobby laughed and leaned towards John. "You seriously don't get how perverted that song is?"
John scowled. "How is that song perverted?"
"Well," Bobby started, "'Don't you put it in your mouth, until you ask someone you love if it's okay to eat.' The little girl wanted to eat the wood John!"
John gave Bobby an incredulous look and opened his mouth to speak, but Bobby cut him off.
"Don't be dumb. 'You could get sick?' That whole song is one big metaphor."
John crossed his arms, lips forming an unconscious pout. "But Bobby! It's harmless. Little kids don't know any double meanings of 'Put it in your mouth!' You know, I bet you have heard that before. I bet it came on when some chick was about to suck you off. And she just wouldn't put it in her mouth, would she?"
It was then that they noticed that the entire class had fallen silent. And that Storm had been standing behind them. The whole time.
She scowled. "Office. Now. Both of you."
As they walked out of the classroom, Bobby leaned over and whispered to John, "Nope, never heard it before. But how about we go straight back to our room and find out if you'll put it in your mouth?"
A sharp slap stung Bobby's cheek as he was left standing in a deserted corridor. John had already began making his way to the Professors office – voluntarily. Bobby started to laugh as he followed suit, rubbing his cheek with a grin.
Rounding the corner, seeing John's back, he hollered, "Guess it really does work!"
Still snickering, he entered the office.
Written: 12/22/08
Published: 05/03/09
Feedback is love. Constructive criticism is wonderful.
More crack coming... eventually.
Sly writes all Pyro's lines and Jesca writes all of Iceman's, as per usual.
Love,
Jesca and Sly