A Chance to Love - 2 of 11
John's Approach to Jo
A month later, John had to stop at the Roadhouse. He couldn't get Jo off his mind. He'd been conflicted. He'd felt like he was betraying Mary or her memory. The more he thought of it, he realized that Mary would have wanted him to be happy. He'd either just been too busy hunting the demon for that to happen or it had just taken someone as special as Jo to make him pay attention. He missed the married life. Since Jo was brought up around hunting, she would understand it more than most other women. As for her wanting to hunt herself, maybe he could take her with sometimes or talk her out of it. The least he could do was talk to her and see how she was doing.
His eyes had to adjust to the dim light in the Roadhouse. John sat at a table and Jo came over. "Anything new around here?"
"Nope, nothing interesting anyway. Same hunters, similar stories. No one has anything new going on."
"Can I get a beer?"
"Sure. Need anything to eat?"
"Nope. Fine there."
He saw a few familiar faces when her looked around the Roadhouse. Ellen asked, "How are things going?", as she slowed by his table on her way to another one. John just nodded because his mind was elsewhere.
Jo came by with the beer. "How are Sam and Dean doing?" John sensed she was just asking to be polite. He knew that she'd had feelings for Dean and Dean just isn't very good in the long term (more than one night) feeling department.
"They've been keeping busy. They are good, though. I'm concentrating on the demon and they are handling whatever else shows up."
Jo just nodded. "I'll check back later, John."
Just hearing her say his name affected him. He sighed and realized just how deep his feeling ran.
"That damn Cole," Ellen complained to John. "Jo has a tough exterior. She's learned to be tough. Cole took advantage of her kindness and then promptly ditched her. That little bug doesn't even have the common decency to stay away from here."
John just shook his head. "That's a shame," he said and meant it. "No one deserves to be treated like that."
"Try convincing her of that," Ellen went on. "She's blaming herself, even though no one else can see it. She is Bill's daughter. You know what a softie he was."
"Yep. I remember."
"I need some supplies from town. Any chance you could give Jo a ride there? Our truck hasn't been running right and Ash hasn't been around to look at it."
"Sure. I'll even look at your truck when we get back."
"Still talking to Cole much?" John asked even though he knew the answer. He didn't ask to hurt her, he asked to help her.
"No," she looked out the window.
"He seemed a little reckless to me," John offered. "So it's better this way."
Jo just shrugged.
"What is it you want for your life, Jo? You have choices. Dean chose hunting. Sam chose college for awhile. I had a typical life before chasing the demon. What do you want?"
"Where is all this coming from?" She questioned. She usually didn't speak to John very much besides small talk.
"Just wondering. I know your Dad had dreams for you. Nothing specific, you know. He just wanted you to be safe and happy."
"Mom keeps me plenty safe. As far as happy, not so much. I want to be a hunter. I want to make my dad proud."
"Bill would have been proud of you no matter what you do. Don't ever worry about that."
After loading the truck, John took a look around. It was a quiet town. It wasn't yet dusk. Ellen didn't need her supplies immediately.
"Would you like to go for a stroll?" John asked.
Jo thought it odd, but it was a peaceful evening. "Sure. I'm not that anxious to get back to work and the smoke."
After about a block, John asked Jo what would make her happy.
"I'm not sure. I thought being a hunter would be great. But, I know how lonely it can be. It can be dangerous and it's a life, not just a job. Sometimes I see how different things are on tv. I wonder what it would be like to settle down and get married. I don't know if any of that would make me happy. I just know that it would be different."
"It is a whole different ballgame, honey. I grew up in that other world. I was safe in my ignorance of what is really out there. You can't unlearn what you've grown up with. You could make your life more like the usual one." He hesitated before continuing, "You could still get married."
"Maybe if I had any contact with the outside world. All I meet are hunters. That's not the type of marriage I'd want."
John thought for a minute. Then, he stopped walking. Jo just stopped when he did.
"How do you think of me?" he barely croaked out. He looked at her with his brown eyes, hoping he'd hear an answer resembling what he wanted to hear.
"You're John. One of my folks' friends. Dean and Sam's dad. Why?"
"I recently realized that you've grown up from the little girl I used to know. I've --- I've noticed you another way."
Jo's eyebrows showed her confusion.
He turned toward her and took a deep breath. "Just hear me out, ok?"
She nodded.
"I feel awkward saying this, and I'll never bring it up again. I have been concentrating on the demon for so many years. I never thought of much besides that and teaching Sam and Dean to fight." He swallowed hard. "Then, I saw you smile the other day. It made me smile and brought up feelings I haven't felt since Mary. I know how much older I am than you. I promise that this isn't some dirty old man thing."
Jo looked at him. She saw the emotion deep in his eyes and knew he was telling her the truth. She looked at his shaggy hair and how it was too long in places, hanging close to his brown eyes.
"I just have feelings for you and want to know if there is any chance that you have any romantic feelings for me."
"So you are trying to ask me out?"
John's face turned red, but he felt a little relieved. "Yes, I guess I am."
"Okay." Jo paused. "How are you going to break it to my mom?"
John had never thought it through to this point. Handling Ellen? He had no clue how that would go.
