Hi guys! It's been a long time since I updated this story, I apologize. But I'm finally ready to move forward with this! I have a lot of ideas that I can't wait to share with you guys. Let me know what you think.

Chapter Two:

Dr. Lindstrom looked at her, mouth agape, shocked.

"You're pregnant?" Even he couldn't hide his shock and surprise at the revelation.

She briefly stopped twisting her hands and glanced at him before she began picking at invisible lint on her pants.

"Yeah" she replied, emotionless. Olivia had known she was pregnant for three weeks now. She had even had her first sonogram. A little blip on the screen that would soon develop into her child. When she saw the baby, she thought she was going to be sick.

Olivia wanted to be excited, for the birth of her first child, she really did. But she was too consumed with the fact that it belonged to Lewis.

She looked at Lindstrom again. "I got my due date," she paused "January 24th."

"How are you feeling about this? Excited, scared…" Lindstrom trailed off.

"Terrified," she shook her head. "I'm carrying William Lewis' child. I...I…". Tears began to well up into her eyes. She hated crying during her sessions, but she felt them fill up her eyes and spill down her cheeks. She tried to quickly wipe them away, but they were pouring out too fast at this point.

"I don't know if I can do this" she sighed, emotion in her voice.

"Are you talking about abortion?"

"I don't know, maybe!" Olivia stood up and began pacing around the room.

"Do you think that, an abortion would be healing?" Lindstrom pressed.

Olivia stopped pacing and looked at Lindstrom. "I don't think anything about this is healing" Olivia hissed.

"Sorry" she sighed.

"It's okay," he said, leaning forward in his chair deeply intrigued. "What about adoption?"

Adoption. That would be the cruelest joke in Olivia's life. All the years she longed for a family, tried to adopt. Only to be rejected, and now, she has this baby growing within her. A baby that she wished that she was happy about, a baby that she wished she didn't fear.

"I've been thinking about it. I've been checking out some agencies"

"Open adoption, closed adoption?" he pressed

"I don't even know if I want to give it up for adoption. I just don't know." she said rubbing her temple.

"How far along?" he said with a slight smile.

"12 weeks"

Olivia smoothed her loose-fitting shirt down, and revealed a small, but prominent bump.

"Your showing!" he exclaimed.

She snorted. Yes she was showing, but luckily, not enough. She was already having a hard time hiding the pregnancy from her squad. Lately, Fin had been making light hearted jabs about her reduced coffee intake. Amanda had mentioned to her in private about her frequent bathroom visits. She then told her that she too struggled with bladder infections, and that she should see a doctor as soon as possible. And finally, Nick, the man who has stuck by her side through everything. Checking up on her, making sure she's okay, of course, is always around during her battles with morning sickness.

Nick was most definitely suspicious, but he kept to himself, not wanting to upset Olivia.

"Yeah," she let her shirt flow loosely around her belly once again. "It's only going to get harder to hide."

"Then don't"

"Don't what?"

"Don't hide the pregnancy" Lindstrom replied

Olivia looked like she was contemplating the idea. She would eventually have to tell her squad, as she would have to take maternity leave and start looking for a new temporary commanding officer. Soon, her belly would be too big to hide behind loose shirts and big sweaters. She figured, maybe it was for the best. Ripping off the bandage, getting it over with. But the humiliation would be too great. She couldn't even think of a way to tell them. She could see it now. Their eyes filled with pity and sadness. Day by day as she grew more heavy with her child, being stared at by other cops and detectives at the precinct, feeling sorrow for her as she carried her rapist's child. The sex cop, who was raped and impregnated by her attacker. How cruel. She shuddered at the thought.

But that was the reality of the situation. If she chose to carry this child, that would be her life. She felt light headed at the thought.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about" Lindstrom said, almost as if he were reading her mind.

"I do," she began "I'm supposed to help victims, stop rapists...Who's going to not pity me? Who's going to believe I'm strong enough to get through this without breaking down? How am I supposed to help victims, when I can't even help myself."

"Olivia, you're good at your job, regardless of your situation"

"I'm afraid" she admitted.

"All first time parents are"

"This is different…I'm alone...I…" she couldn't form a coherent thought.

"You know Olivia, you are a lot stronger than you think"

She didn't reply, she just shook her head.

"I'm afraid of the baby" she clarified.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm afraid, that it will end up...demented, like Lewis was…" she trailed off.

"Are you anything like your father?"

Her heart skipped a beat. "No" she replied firmly and quickly.

"As long as you raise your baby with good morals, they will be fine. You're going to be a great mother."

"Lewis and my father, are two different monsters," she began "my father was a disgusting man, but Lewis...he was a sadist, and his father was too. I'm afraid, that it will be passed along to my child."

"Olivia, genes don't determine your baby's personality. It is all in the way that you raise them. And I know you will raise them well." he smiled "our time is up for today."

She stood up and grabbed her jacket, she thanked Lindstrom, and began to walk to the door.

"Olivia," he called out.

She turned around.

"I know you can do this. You know you can do this. We can keep working through these issues in next week's session."

She gave a tight lipped smile and nodded, as she walked out the door.

So, what did you guys think? Feel free to message me if you would like! I would love some feedback, thanks for reading!