Crash Landing in Scranton
Chapter 2
Ashley, Dwight, Jim, and the Alliance.
I followed Dwight into the kitchen where he leaned up onto the counter and looked over at me as I entered behind him. He cleared his throat and looked down at me imploringly. I gulped and then decided to break this uncomfortable silence by asking, "So what are you going to teach me Dwight?"
Dwight smirked with satisfaction and then looked out at Jim and Pam before saying, "I'm not going to teach you anything, per say. I'm more like giving you some words of advice and making you an offer." Dwight rocked back and forth on his heels, looking more and more excited as the prospect of making his "offer" with me drew nearer in conversation.
I exhaled, almost as excited as he was. From what I knew about Dwight so far he was a highly over the top and let's say, strange, individual. So his offer was sure to be a very interesting one. "What is it Dwight? What "offer" would you like to make with me?" I put air quotes around offer and Dwight seemed to ignore my childish act.
He leaned his head back with his eyes closed and said, "I'd like you to make an alliance with me, against Jim and Pam. I enjoy your presence so far, and I wouldn't want to see you get tainted by them." I could almost see Dwight sticking his tongue out at the prospect. I couldn't stop myself from giggling. "What are you laughing about?" Dwight said, glaring at me as I doubled over clutching my stomach. I couldn't stop, I just kept laughing. I wasn't sure if it was how much this guy was completely and utterly serious about forming an alliance or just the fact that he "enjoyed my presence". I mean come on, seriously? I hadn't said five words to the guy. And Jim and Pam were going to corrupt me? Wow. I think maybe that was what got me.
Dwight rubbed his temples and then decided to try again with his proposal, "Now Ashley would you like to form an alliance with me against Jim and Pam?" I was just about to give Dwight a rejection when I looked to the window to see Jim and Pam standing by the window to the kitchen shaking their heads vigorously and mouthing the words "say yes". I almost wanted to start laughing again but I managed to hold it in this time.
"Okay Dwight. I'll join your little alliance against Jim and Pam." I looked nervously over my shoulder to signal to Jim and Pam but they were already gone. I turned back to Dwight to see his face flushed with pleasure. He almost looked like he wanted to start jumping up and down giddily and he was straining to restrain himself from doing so.
After regaining his composure Dwight nodded and said, "Excellent. I will keep you posted on anything else pertaining to the alliance. This remains between me and you only, no one else is to be made aware. Exclusively Jim and Pam. Understand?" he said, a gleam of madness flickering through his eyes. I was almost nervous by how manic this Dwight guy was so I just responded with a "mhm" and a nod of the head.
We both left the kitchen in unison. I looked around at the rest of the office at large. No one seemed to notice me and Dwight and how we had been having a private conversation in the kitchen. Well that was somewhat of a relief. I mean everyone might have thought I was as crazy and as strange as Dwight if he was the first person in the office I made a connection with. I returned to my desk to see a note folded in a nice neat rectangle. I opened it, a smile sitting on my face.
Scrawled in dark black ink and in two different handwriting styles was the message, "We'll aid you in your quest with the Shrute one Miss Jones. Yours truly, Halpert and Beesly." I looked over to the reception desk to see Pam wink at me and smile, in turn Jim did the same from his desk. So maybe I'd overreacted about everything. Perhaps working here for a little while would maybe be one of those life experiences that you didn't exactly enjoy but for the most part you were glad it happened to you.
But how to convey to them everything Dwight said to me? I clicked through a few items on my computer, seeing as Michael or anyone else hadn't bothered to show me the interworkings of the system. Luckily I was fairly computer literate. I opened the email system, which was fairly easy because this office used Outlook Express, a universal email program. I quickly set up an email and found each office members' email. I looked up Jim and Pam's and added them onto a recipient list of the message I composed. I soon began typing madly about how Dwight had eagerly wanted to make an alliance with me and keep me from being tainted by them. I clicked send, looking nervously in Dwight's direction. He was too wrapped up in sales calls, however, to take much notice to what I was doing.
To busy myself for a short while I fished my head phones from my bag and shoved them into the computer, I cranked some music up loud and began to dive into my papers for the internship once again. I was interrupted, once again, by another person tapping my shoulder in an attempt to talk to me. What was this? Bug the new girl day?! I wrenched my head phones playing my sweet Motion City Soundtrack from my ears and looked up to see Toby. I looked down almost immediately to blush and then looking back up at him.
"Can I uhm...help you?" I tried to sound as casual as possible. I fiddled with my papers, trying to give my shaking fingers something to do. Toby seemed like he was trying to muster some confidence from within himself because he was being quiet and contemplative.
"Do you...are you uhm, doing something later? Did you want to go and get a drink or something?" he scratched the back of his head and looked down at the floor. I was flattered beyond belief and didn't really know what to quite say to him. I was saved the trouble by Michael, oddly enough, swooping in to make an announcement to everyone.
"Thank you Toby that's a very good idea! Everyone, we are going out for drinks after work at Poor Richard's to honor our new intern Ashley. First round of drinks on me." Michael said, clapping his hand on my shoulder which caused my knees to buckle. I grimaced and tried to raise myself back up. Toby aided me. He shrugged his shoulders before going back to his lone desk. I waved him off, almost feeling bad for turning him down. Well Michael kind of turning him down for me.
Michael was starting to just ramble off useless nothings to everyone so I saw this as a prime opportunity to check my new email that was now blinking on the screen. I plummeted down into the office chair and opened the now two unopened emails, one from Pam and one from Jim. I decided to open Pam's first.
Ashley,
For the purpose of confidentiality I will no longer refer to you as Ashley or myself as Pam. If that's quite alright with you I'll refer to you as A and myself as P. Simple enough codenames I suppose. Jim will probably conjure up something much more complicated, just forewarning you. Okay, so here's the deal with Dwight and his whole "alliance" deal. It's nothing new really, we've all experienced it before at some time or another. I still remember when Dwight had asked me to form a secret alliance with him. Ha. Anyway, so this email is just to notify you of your first assignment in a series of many more assignments to follow. Okay, so Jim used to go to another branch a while back and he started this whole thing where he would take some of Dwight's stationary and fax him saying it was something from his future self. Your mission will be to draw up the fax for "Future Dwight" and go down into another office to use their fax machine to fax it here. If Dwight asks where you're going simply reply, "The bathroom." or "It's all part of the alliance" would work even better. Jim will email you in most likely the very same time frame as this email to give you some ideas and a guideline for the layout of the fax.
Good Luck,
P. (:
I leaned back into my office chair with a smile on my face. Excited with the idea of being able to dupe someone and play some innocent prank I double clicked enthusiastically on Jim's blinking email and began to read with feverish eyes.
Black Hawk Shining,
Your assignment, as I'm sure my colleague has made you aware, is to assume the role of Future Dwight and to fax him something dangerous that is about to take place in this very office. Okay so here's a couple of ideas you're welcome to. Feel free to be as creative as you like.
- Toby's going to try and murder him.
-Michael's going to try and murder him.
-The plant in the far corner contains alien spores.
Or my personal favorite.
-There's a little invisible leprechaun with an AK-47 lurking under his desk.
Good luck and stay sharp,
Grey Wolf Rising.
I laughed out loud at Jim's codenames and then quickly covered my mouth when I saw everyone staring at me. Oops. Dwight raised an eyebrow but then I just waved his suspicions off, gulping and sweating internally. Hopefully our cover wasn't blown. Well luckily Dwight wasn't the brightest bulb in the box. I looked over to Jim's desk to see him motioning to me as incognito as possible, pointing down at his desk top to a stack of stationary. That must have been the stuff Pam was talking about. I breathed in and shrugged my shoulders up to my ears. Exhaling, I stepped out of my chair I walked over to Jim's desk without a plausible excuse for my actions in my head as of yet.
Stepping over to Jim's desk he covered for me, fortunately. "Yeah, here's those papers I need faxed. But I think that the fax machine up here is broken or something. Try using the one down in Vance Refrigeration or something. They'll let you." I accepted the papers with a smile on my face. Jim sneaked a wink in between our passage of the paper.
"No problem Jim. I just have to go and do some things at my desk. It will be a couple of minutes." I quickly trotted back to my desk to start typing up the Future Dwight fax about Jim's little hidden leprechaun idea. I had to keep from smiling and laughing too much while typing. Finally, I'd finished and I quickly galloped out of the office and downstairs to Vance Refrigeration. Luckily, the receptionist was happy to help me use the fax machine down there. Mission accomplished.
Throughout the course of the day me, Jim, and Pam were all keeping an eye on Dwight from our respective positions. He was constantly looking underneath his desk after receiving his urgent fax. He'd even attempted to spray insecticides underneath of his desk before Michael was forced to beat the can from his hands. Everyone in the office watched, stunned and amused, at Dwight and his constant battle with his unseen force. Toby had even come out of the annex and stood by my desk, chuckling with me and laying his hand on the back my chair. It gave me tingles to hear his laugh emanating from behind me and whenever my back would brush his fingers I'd quickly shoot forward in my chair.
The rest of the day was spent emailing Jim and Pam about Dwight's every anti-invisible leprechaun precaution and laughing virtually over it, talking to Toby and blushing intensely, listening to Michael jabber on about his sex life (which Jim told me was all a ruse), having Ryan approach me on several occasions and images of Kelly slaughtering me plaguing my imagination, and sorting through the thousands of forms and applications and such I had to do for my internship. In short, my first day at Dunder Mifflin was very eventful and anything but boring. I was almost nearly as excited to extend the work day at Poor Richard's. That and I could really use a beer to unwind.
So this was how Michael Scott ran office excursions, I soon learned, everyone was herded like sheep and assigned to a car. I was crammed illegal immigrant style into Michael's car with Michael and Dwight in front, and Kevin, Toby, and Ryan in the back. Being the only girl present in the car I was forced to lay down on top of everyone across the back seat. It was kind of embarrassing but Michael threatened to spank me if I didn't follow his orders, even though Toby and Ryan had said that I really shouldn't, I did anyway. The ride to Poor Richard's was a bumpy one, and I kept flying off of everyone's laps.
"Michael this is completely illegal and unnecessary. And not to mention dangerous. I mean why can't Ashley just ride in her own car and follow one of us to Poor Richard's?" Ryan demanded from Michael, catching me around the stomach as I almost flipped off of him. I squeaked my thanks.
Michael rolled his eyes from the front, "Well Ryan, it's called companionship and I'm just trying to demonstrate to Ashley just how much that is a part of our lives here at Dunder Mifflin." he snarled, sharply turning a corner and causing me to whack my face into the back of his seat. I groaned with pain.
"Are we almost there?" I managed, nursing my throbbing nose.
"Almost there. Chill out intern." Dwight muttered from the passenger's seat, glaring out the window as the buildings of Scranton shrank away from the car. I watched too, looking up and out the window closest to my feet.
Five or so minutes later of narrowly averting a concussion we arrived at Poor Richard's. Toby helped me from the car by taking my hand until I was safely on the asphalt. I smiled politely and said thanks in a near whisper. However, he seemed to hear me and nodded.
The whole crew finally entered Poor Richard's, admonishing Michael and his idea of cramming everyone into three cars Mexican style. Oscar even said so, despite his apparent heritage. However, everyone seemed to lighten up with a round of drinks on their employer, including myself. And my throbbing headache was soon overridden by the sweet taste of a cool refreshing Budweiser and a seat next to Toby, Ryan, Kelly, and Jim and Pam. Dwight was watching me with a wary eye but I carefully ignored him.
"I wish I didn't have to be so overdressed for this job." I sighed, rolling my eyes and placing my drink down on the table. "I'd be much more comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt." I pulled at my pea coat and wiped some scuff from my black flats.
Pam laughed and agreed, "Yeah, I know what you mean. I hate getting so dressed up. Even though it's not really by much for me." Jim hugged her close to him and laughed. I smiled, deep inside of me I was envious of them. I wanted that, more than I could really want anything else right now.
Kelly looked over at Ryan and said, "Do you think I need to get dressed up to look nice Ryan?" God, she was self absorbed and she wanted me dead. I know my mother had always told me to get to know someone a lot before you actually say you don't like them but I couldn't help myself with this Kelly girl.
Ryan seemed to be avoiding the question with a, "Yeah sure." and a long hard stare at his beer. I watched him with a raised brow but then decided it wasn't my business and rejoined the conversation going on at the table.
"Hey Ashley," Jim said sipping his drink. "I see Dwight looking over here and glaring at you. Do you think he's mad at you for sitting with us?" he chuckled and acknowledged me.
I rolled my eyes and rested my lips on the cool glass of the bottle. "Most likely." I answered, giggling with the prospect. "He's probably going to reprimand me at work tomorrow. I'm almost looking forward to it. Aren't you?" I casually snuck a glance at Toby who was in fact looking at me too. We both looked away, pink in the cheeks.
"Well of course. Any reaction of Dwight's is always amusing for me." Jim laughed. I looked over at Pam who was regarding me and Toby with a quizzical look in her eye. Could she have seen me and Toby look over at each other? No way, I mean it had only been for like a second, not even. Had she?