I am so so so very very very, mega quadruple sorry for the long ass wait, ya'll. Things got a bit hectic, kept me busy here and there I'm packing up and moving soon, plus my writer's block was being a bitch as usual, but enough about that. I know what you're here for and here it is I just hope you still like it and tell me what you think because it's important. Anyway, here it is.
P.s - I wrote this very early in the morning.
John Cena woke up with a groan, feeling the sun rays hit as he opened his eyes, rubbing away the sleep. He looked over at the clock to see it was almost 12 in the afternoon, he had an autograph session in about two hours for tonight's show. He sat up with a heavy sigh, swinging his feet around to place on the carpet floor. He ran a hand through his short hair, then looked over his shoulder at the body laying on the other side with mass of red hair sprawled over the pillows. He rolled his eyes looking away before getting up and heading into the shower.
It seemed so long ago when John used to be all smiles, but everyone backstage will tell you; John Cena hasn't smiled since Nikki Bella left him. And the reason being because she wanted marriage and kids and he didn't.
Before this his life was good, great. Life was great. He had a woman whom he loved with all his heart, there wasn't anything John wouldn't have done for Nicole. He missed her. He missed her the second she walked out the door and drove off. What could've went wrong? What went wrong was Nicole wanting something that he didn't; Getting married and having kids. The minute Nicole mentioned it to him, he knew he had to be completely honest with her.
I can't give you that.
Was his exact words. He started to feel bad as he watched her facial expression fall, but he kept going on with his own reason why he couldn't and didn't want to. After that, she didn't bring it up again, laving him guessing that he got his point across.
Then one day, he comes home expecting to be greeted by his lovely girlfriend, but instead he saw her with her sitting on the couch with her luggage packed. John felt his heart sink to his stomach, he knew what this was, but he didn't think it would ever happen. She told him straightforward that she wanted to have children and that since he respected her decision to have she respected his.
I'm doing what I think is best us...goodbye John. And with one last kiss, Nicole walked out those double doors of what used to be called their home.
He just stood there frozen and expressionless as he heard the sound of her car driving away down the road. He didn't go after, not as so much as begging her to stay, no, all he did was walk into the kitchen, grabbed two bottles of vodka, sat on the couch and down his sadness away for the rest of the day.
And that's what it has been like since that day, to cover up the pain of his broken heart along with the sadness, he drunk it away.
John was really good at covering up his emotions. He never let anyone, except for Nicole, see that side of him. But now he just it all under wraps, using alcohol to not feel anything, except for the adrenaline for when he had a match. Work was another way he could cover up the feelings, just like when he was going through his divorce, the only difference was that everyone at work knew about it and steered clear of him as he expression very clearly that he didn't want to interact with anyone. He usually said hi to his co workers that he passed hallway, making small talk, giving pep talks and cracking corny jokes, but that guy was no more. In the locker room, the guys could sense a dramatic change in the Cenation leader, even Randy Orton, his on-screen rival and best friend behind the scenes, could see it, but that was because Randy already knew.
"Look John, man, I know this is killing you, but you gotta move on." He said, while leaning against the wall backstage before a show.
John looked at his friend. "Randy," he sighed, shaking his head. "If you only knew what I had with her. WE were serious, ok, I loved her. Goddamn it, I still do and it fucking kills me that I can't...I can't do shit about it because I don't know what went wrong."
Randy let out a sigh. "I know you guys were serious, man. Hell, you introduced her to you family the minute you started dating and you asked her to move in with you. But..."
"But what Randy? Forget about her, forget what we had? I can't as much as I want to," He gritted out, clenching his fists. "As much as I want to," He said calmly, unclenching his fist. "I can't...I just can't." He shook his head, getting up and walking away. Randy giving him a look of sympathy.
John was desperate to find ways, anyway to forget the woman he once (and still) loved. One way was through alcohol, he would have a whole bottle of wine, wine they drunk together on cozy off days, to erase the memories, but all it ever gave was a hangover he would wake up from the next morning and much to his dismay, the memories were still there.
After his shower, John dried himself off, standing in front of the mirror with the towel around his waist. He took a long look at himself and as often wondered, who was this man staring back? This man, who eyes had dark circles underneath them, his once vibrant blue eyes, having look dull and dusty and his face no longer etched a smile. The man John saw in his reflection was a man, a man whose heart was broken by whom he thought was a selfish bitch, but still considered in the back of his mind beautiful with her wide smile and lovely brown eyes.
He stood for what felt like a long hours until a pair of arms wrapped themselves around his waist, breaking him out of his train of thought. He looked to see, who he considered his warm body to lay next to. Eva smiled with her messy red hair, giving him a kiss on the shoulder.
"Well good morning, handsome." she said.
John just muttered morning back to her, keeping himself busy brushing his teeth. This was his second reason to forgetting. At first, he had no intention of sleeping with Eva, matter of fact he paid her no attention as she was happily married, but the that didn't stop the red-haired vixen from coming his way. John knew ever since Eva joined the company that she's been eye fucking him up and down every chance she got. Of course, Nicole took notice of this as every time she left John alone, there was Eva sauntering up looking for an excuse to talk and flirt. She stopped her prowl for John after Nicole gave her a warning to back off and a sole reminder that she had a husband back home. Months later, after news broke out about John and Nicole's break up, Eva saw an opportunity, to be the shoulder for John to cry on and seized it. John, of course not thinking, went on with it, keeping her around, just to fulfill the lonely nights. Eva went on to divorce her husband and moved on to a life with John Cena, in which she thought was the luxurious life. Seeing as how she was now associated with a top superstar, she also saw this as another opportunity to get more air time and a possibly chance at the Divas title. Everyone backstage could see this a mile away, except for John, who didn't seem to care at all. To him, Eva was his 'warm body'. The sex was just sex, nothing more.
"So, I was thinking we could go out for breakfast this morning."
John spit, rinsing out his mouth. "Why?"
She let out a laugh. "Because I think it would be good for us, plus you need to get out. I mean all you ever do around here is sit, drink and mope."
"Yea, well maybe I'm just to tired to feel like doing anything now." He said, looking annoyed. Eva rolled her eyes.
"John come on, why can't we do anything fun?"
"Wasn't last night fun?" Referring to dinner and dancing, but mostly the sex that followed afterwards.
Eva shrugged. "Well, yea, but I'm talking about going out club hopping, you know that fun shit."
"I don't have time to do any of that, you know my scheduling is busy, but if want to, fine I'll give you something to buy whatever you want."
She smirked lazily. "Mmm, something like a new mini dress and matching heels to go with it?"
John sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "Yea, sure whatever."
"Thanks, babe." She kissed his neck, then nibbled on his ear. "You would look hot if this towel came off." She lowered her hands down his front to take off his towel, but she felt John stop her, removing her hands away from him.
"Not now, maybe later on after the show tonight." He said, walking out the bathroom, leaving Eva standing to roll her eyes before getting into the shower.
John doesn't why he even bothers, but he does. As he puts on his shirt and a pair of shorts, he walks down the hall to his office, takes a seat in his large chair, taking out a bottle of scotch and filling up his glass. As he takes a big gulp to start out his morning, he stared thoughtfully at the frame picture, he kept hidden in his desk drawer, of Nicole and him at her high school reunion.
Hope you all enjoyed that and once again so sorry for the long ass wait, I hope this makes up for it. So reviews, you still like it or no?
Oh and btw, did ya'll hear how many people they released yesterday, I, for one, am shocked that they let Evan Bourne go cause I wanted to see him make a comeback, but I'll tell you who I wasn't shocked about it was about time they let JTG' ass go, I mean he hasn't been on tv in like two years and was still there getting paid?! I think he should've been gone in my opinion. And Aksana, I'm surprised they let her go, I mean I thought they wanted to see her come up, guess not.