I'm back! I know I've been posting on The Fire Is Catching forum and I've been updating my profile over the summer but this is my official welcome back. So for those who haven't forgotten me this is for you. I thought of you over the summer and I snuck some writing in. And please bombard me with reviews and pms again. I've missed hearing and answering you guys.
Ok so back the story, are you guys ok with profanity? This chapter had curses all over it but to be nice I didn't put it but let me know for future reference because Eric does allot of cursing.
"Are you like, into me or something?" Four remained quiet. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and stared at the floor. Then finally he said something. It came out in a whisper. "What if I was?"
That moment was the only thing I could think about as I crouched down on the floor in my room my back towards the door. My hands were trembling and clammy. I clenched them and released repeatedly as I breathed heavily. Cold sweat dripped on my forehead, my hair sticking to it. This new information was definitely taking a toll on me. Talk about shock.
He was into me? Me? The infamous Four? The one that ranks 1st from the transfers? The guy with only four fears? No. That was impossible.
I mean he was a great catch; for the girls. I could of swore that he was into that Lauren chick. They are always around each other, training, telling jokes, paintballing, laughing and goofing off... always touching playfully and whispering secrets to each other...her ear so close to his soft, full lips and his muscular toned arm wrapped around her ...
"NO!" I screamed to the empty darkness, startling myself. I pressed my hands into the side of my temples, hopefully squeezing out all these dirty terrible thoughts. I didn't want to think like this. Not about him. Not about a (guy). And especially not about Four. I mean since when did I worry about how I felt about Four? I shut my eyes and compressed my hands onto my chest in a hope that maybe, just maybe my heart would stop beating as fast. It didn't.
It only got like this when I was...scared. My eyes quickly flickered open. Was I scared? I couldn't be scared of Four. I couldn't be. So why the hell was I having this freaking meltdown? Was it because his words frightened me? Was I afraid that they were true? Why would Four want a guy like me? All these questions rattled my mind and there was no way for him to answer them. And he probably won't after the way I treated him back at the gym. And thinking about it I felt a pang of guilt making my heart ache.
XxX
He looked at me with those cold piercing blue eyes. I always wondered what they saw. How different they were from mine. Then I made my way down to his lips. His lips are so full. The corners of his mouth turn down naturally like he has something to say but was too shy or sad to do so. His long dark hair just flopped the right way. I realized that I was staring at him. Now I was quiet. Because what if I was too?
I pushed that thought quickly from my mind. Why the hell am I checking him out? I then realized that I was silent way too long and I had to say something,anything. And I couldn't let him know what I was thinking. So I played it off the best way I know how.
"Huh?" I scoffed. "Seriously Stiff? Wow. That's...huh... very, enlightening. Thank you. Thank you for that opening confession. But do you know when it would of been better to tell me that? No? Try like five minutes ago when you was all up on me molesting my arm!" I waved my arm around for emphasis. "Thanks for the warning Four. I feel less violated after you tell me." I roll my eyes when I said after.
Four who was up until this point very quiet took his hands out his pockets, crossed his arms and leaned toward the wall closest to him gave me a smug smile. Not the one which was meant to intimidate but the one that he used when he found something amusing or was about to shut someone down. Wait. Since when did I notice his smiles? I thought.
"Molesting you? It seemed like to me that to you were enjoying yourself. I take notice on little things. And I just so happened to notice that your hands shake when you get scared or excited. So which one were you? You aren't scared of me are you?" He raised one eyebrow.
Damn. He got me there. No way I was scared but looking back now my hands were trembling. Was it because of him? I mean that seems to be the only other answer... No! What the hell? What is this guy doing? He's getting in my head and twisting it so I can second guess myself and think all this weird crap. After this thought I was frustrated, confused and angry so I lashed out at him.
"Don't flatter yourself Four," spitting it out like it was a sin. "Who on Earth do you think you are? You can't just walk in and say some crap like that and expect for me to be all Zen about it. How do you want me to respond? 'Oh Four, of course I'm into you. I would like nothing better than to blow you.' " I just had to mock him. Both of his eyebrows raised. His mouth opened a little, clearly shocked. Good. But I wasn't done yet. My blood was pumping and I was on a roll.
"Surprised? You should save that face for tomorrow when everyone finds out your new found sexuality." Now he clenched his jaw. His fists were too. He was no longer amused. "Yeah you know that bulletin board over there?" I nodded my head towards the board. "Tomorrow morning instead of the scheduled fights, everyone will be looking at three little words. Four. Is. G-"
Before I could finish he came up to me and grabbed a fistful of my shirt. We were face to face. His eyes were icy and his face, stone. And for the first time that night I was a tinsy bit scared. I think my face showed it I couldn't be sure. His voice was monotone when he spoke and left a lethal vibe hung in the air. "You wouldn't dare." He was dead serious but I couldn't stop being an ass. I put on a goofy grin.
"Do I detect a hint of fear in your voice Four? I guess you should change your name to Five. And then probably Six because once this gets out you'll might be to afraid to leave your room..."
"Shut up! Just shut up!" He yelled and then shoved me back against the wall. He stepped back and raked all his fingers in his hair like he was stressed and clearly flustered. His jabbed his finger in my face and spoke again. "You will do no such thing Eric." I put on that same smug smile he did earlier and lightly pushed his finger out my face. "We'll see. Better keep an eye on that board. Three little words can say a whole lot."
He just stared at me with a stern expression for what seemed to be hours. In a Mexican standoff kind of way. And as he did I thought about his eyes. They were icy blue. As if they were barriers for his soul. He might of been hella mad but his eyes didn't falter. I wondered what my eyes showed. At last, he quit grilling me and walked away in silence.
The door slammed shut and when it did I exhaled a big sigh of relief. "What did I just do?" I groaned shaking my head. I threatened Four and any other time it would of felt good. However now my stomach churned and my hands were twitching. Was I feeling, bad for Four? Did I mean everything I said?
XxX
I walked to my bathroom and turned on the faucet. I splashed my face with water. Its coldness is like a wake up call and hopefully would slap some sense into me. I look at the mirror my face dripping. I wasn't that much of a sight at that moment but I thought about what Four saw. Did he see the selfish monster that everyone else apparently saw? Or maybe something more? Perhaps it was the second option because he wouldn't have blurted a secret like that out if he just saw the monster Eric. And he wouldn't have told me if he knew I didn't feel the same. I leaned on the sink. Did I feel the same? I don't know. But what I do know is that my feelings towards him definitely has changed. Am I willing to accept this new perceptive of Four? Will he accept me? I pondered on the idea as I laid down on my bed. The only way I could find out is if we were on the same page. And based on what Four knows we aren't. And as I closed my eyes to try to sleep I knew how to give him the message.
XxX
Amar led all the transfer initiates into the gym. Four was up in front literally attached to Amar. He was in a no playing mood and his face was mixed with coldness and... worry? I was slightly amused at how I can easily make Four get on edge. That feeling of control almost made me forget how nervous I was. Almost. I was standing at the very back of the group away from everyone. My hand were shaking and my body was shivering. All I can think is what have I done? Did I do the right thing?
Everyone entered the gym (with Four in the lead) and headed straight for the bulletin board to find out who will fight who. Four was practically shoving and stomping past the other initiates. Here it goes... I thought. My hands were twitching double time. When he gets to the front of the board he freezes. His face was first stone and slowly melts. His jaw slowly drops and in a matter of hours I made Four shocked twice. I give a nervous half smile.
The other initiates got a good look at the board and started to snicker and whisper. They were pointing at the board and were clinging to each other feeding each other with gossip. I knew they would get a kick out of it. If I didn't know what was going on I would of laughed too. Because on the board as promised it said three words.
It said I LIKE FOUR.
Amar chuckled. "Four I guess you have an admirer. Now ladies keep your crushes to yourselves. Someone take this down." Amar didn't know how wrong he was. I had a sudden burst of confidence and I put it into good use. I slipped behind Four. Our shoulders were practically touching. I whispered loud enough for him to hear, "I told you three words can say a whole lot." He kept looking forward as if we weren't talking at all but I could tell he smirked. Without hesitation he discreetly slipped his hand into mine. My heart skipped a beat. Instinct would be for me to rip it away but I convinced myself that this was good. And just like that my hands stopped trembling.
And before I forget shout out to Echoes In The Darkness my good friend Saph who was the main person to contact me this summer. LOVE YOU GIRL!