Regaining Forever

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Fuffy

Authors Notes: It's just typical that goes down just as I start posting this n *really* want some fb. So please please please review, I really wanna know what ppl think.

Then (Buffy)

It felt like the entire world was shaking. And then you looked into her eyes. It was like a volcano and a tornado hit you in the chest all at once. You knew that look, you'd seen it before. Just before she went to torment the mayor snake so he'd follow her into the school and the trap that was waiting for him.

It was the look of knowing you might not see another tomorrow. Of knowing you were going to sacrifice yourself in the hope that everyone else would live.

"Faith no.." she just grabbed your arms.

"Dawn was made from slayer blood. Just so happens we've got two here, and lil sis needs you, not me." She leant forward and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. "Give everyone a hug for me."

And then she ran.

Off the end of the platform to slam into that portal, not even giving you the chance to stop her. You staggered to the end of the platform, dropping to your knees as you watched her wreath in pain.

And then it was over. The portal closed and a second later you heard her body smash into the ground.

Willow found out later that it wasn't being in that portal that killed her. It was the concussive force with which she smashed into the ground. Every bone in her body was broken from the fall. But because it was the fall that killed her, and not the portal, it was a natural death. Willow couldn't bring her back.

She could bring something else back. Something that looked like Faith, but it would be dark and unnatural.

In the nights that followed, you dreamt of her. Of how she looked so like a beautiful raven, suspended in the eye of that storm. Of the thousand ways you'd save her. Of moving just that little bit faster, of being that little bit stronger. And every morning you'd wake up only to lose her all over again.

And it never got any better. The pain was like a constant companion; it followed you where ever you went.

The day she came back to you was one you'll remember forever, because she curled into your arms and held on like she'd never let go. And for that single moment, she was yours.