Murder Mystery
Chapter 2- The Game Begins
"Everyone grab an earpiece and put it in your ear. This way, Neutral
Nilsson and I can contact you at any time to tell you who to murder,
what to do if you're about to be murdered, or if we get hungry and
need you to bring us sandwiches or something." Lawmaker Lupe told everyone.
"Now go enjoy the party! Let the games begin!"
"And may the odds be EVER in your favor!" Nilsson yelled.
(Author's note: I just HAD to put that line in there. If you've read
the Hunger Games, what Nilsson said should sound familiar)
ARROGANT ASH
"I just love my blue tux, don't you?" Arrogant Ash asked Deaf Delos.
"Wait, why aren't you talking? Do you not like me? What's up with the
hand motions? Oh my squash, are you an ALIEN?"
DASHING DAVID
"Hmm, this mansion has such poor decor. I'd give the old Tosspot some
money to decorate it, but I never step in the same place twice, so
it's not like I'm ever coming back. Such simple reasoning. And
everyone wonders why I have 5,000 houses."
DEAF DELOS
Delos continually signed to Ash that he did indeed come from the
planet Earth, but he soon gave up and signed some not-so-nice things
instead. Boy, would his translator have been upset if he'd have come.
ENVIRONMENTALIST ERIC
"My patience is thinning with this place!" Eric yelled to himself.
"According to these readings, this mansion was built on top of a toxic
lake! We could all be dead within the evening! I'm going to finish
taking samples, and head inside to warn everyone! Now, the samples I
need should only take about five hours to gather..."
GAOLER GALEN
"Are you sure you haven't spiked the punch? I know you got arrested
for it at your prom!" Galen questioned Mustached Morgead.
"I'm positive! Jeezum! I didn't even bring any drugs to spike it with!
All I brought were illegal fireworks!" Morgead replied.
"Oh. Well, in that case, you're good to go." Gaoler Galen said, and
stopped interrogating the ex-convict.
GIGANTIC GILLIAN
Gillian crammed donut after donut into her mouth off the buffet. She
was only at the party to eat the leftovers, but at this rate, there
would be no leftovers.
HAZARDOUS HANNAH
"NO! I am not going ANYWHERE near the stairs! Just you wait, I'll end
up killing someone without meaning to!" Hazardous Hannah screamed at
Tosspot Thierry, who was trying to drag her upstairs for a dance in
the second floor ballroom.
"It will be fine!" he told her.
"No! For all you know, there could be a dancing squirrel in the
ballroom!" she yelled.
Tosspot Thierry abruptly let go of her and ran away, screaming
immensely loudly. "MOMMY!"
IMPULSIVE ILIANA
"Don't you just love my blue tux?" Arrogant Ash asked Impulsive Iliana.
"Yes. In fact, it makes me want to do this-"
Out of the blue, Iliana ripped one of the pant legs of Ash's tux off.
You could see his unicorn boxers.
"Dude! LOVE the undies!" Mustached Morgead complimented. "I think I
have that same pair!"
JEALOUS JAMES AND PHLEGMATIC POPPY
"Hey, James! Poppy!" Quinn greeted the two, who were standing by the
radio. It was playing no music.
"Oh. I love this song," Phlegmatic Poppy said unenthusiastically.
"DO NOT say her name!" Jealous James screamed at Quinn. "Next thing you
know, you'll be trying to date her!" With that, he tackled Quinn.
"Oh, a fight," Poppy said, with none of her normal charismatic charm.
"Ha ha, whoever you two people are," she said with a completely
straight face and not even the slightest hint of laughter.
JUNGLE JEZ
"So I grabbed the tiger around the neck and said, 'Holy CRICKET,
you're fat! So I tied it to a tree and fed the dang Bulgarian mushed
rocks!" Jungle Jez told Dashing David.
(A/N: I love tigers, and have nothing against Bulgarians!)
"Good. I hate tigers!" Dashing David replied. "And what country was
this in? That way I know not to go there."
"Ugo-maaniacal-states-of-slavakiya..." Jez replied.
KLEPTOMANIAC KELLER
"There," Keller told herself, "I've successfully stolen every single blanket in the mansion. Now, Tosspot Thierry will die of hypothermia in the night and I'll take over the mansion."
She sniffed one of the blankets eagerly.
"Wow, these smell good. Is that Febreze?"
MAGICIAN MAGGIE AND MARIONETTE MARY-LYNETTE
"As for my next trick, I will pull a dove out of the puppet's hat!" Magician Maggie declared to her audience of Impulsive Iliana, Jungle Jez, and Deaf Delos.
"WHAT?" Delos shouted.
"I SAID-"
"WHAT" Delos shouted once more.
"Man, HE should be the dummy!" Marionette Mary-Lynette announced, and Deaf Delos began crying.
"I can read lips you know!" he sobbed, "You don't have to be so harsh!"
MUSTACHED MORGEAD
"Would you quit following me around everywhere?" Morgead asked Jungle Jez. "I don't care about your stupid adventures in the jungle! Now go cook some shrimp on a Barbie or something!"
(A/N: That means cook some shrimp on the grill. I love Aussies. :D)
"I can't understand you!" Jungle Jez replied. "I'm not Norwegian."
QUIXOTIC QUINN
"Hey- on the bright side of this, not everyone gets murdered! And hey, you have a fifty-fifty chance of survival here!" Quinn told Gigantic Gillian, who was crying.
"But if I die, I can't eat!" she wailed.
"Think of heaven as a buffet…" Quinn told her.
RAPACIOUS RASHEL
"Haha, the jackpot's all mine, boys!" Rapacious Rashel told Dashing David and Arrogant Ash. "That'll be one hundred dollars. Each. Plus tax and interest."
"Man, I told you we shouldn't play poker with her again!" Arrogant Ash said to David.
"Well, it's a fun game, and no one else wants to play." David replied.
"Yeah, and you'll be broke by dawn! He'll pay for me from now on," Ash told Rashel.
THIN-SKINNED THEA
"I'm just so TIRED of people in general! Do you know how much I'm starting to hate them? It's like they're stretching my skin REALLY thin over my bones, which probably have bone cancer by now!"
"I hear you, honey," Gaoler Galen replied to Thea's rant. "And at the jail where I work, there is a wonderful padded room that is calling your name. It would love to hear ALL of your problems by the time this party is over."
TOSSPOT THIERRY
Tosspot Thierry huddled in his favorite corner- the one where he went when someone mentioned dancing squirrels. The only thing worse than the name was someone creating a dance move called The Dancing Squirrel… *shudder shudder*
KILLER'S POV.
"You know what to do," Lawmaker Lupe whispered into the microphone. The words played into the murderer's ear. "Killing time."
The murdered soundlessly went into the room where everyone was, locked eyes with their victim, and nodded. The victim's eyes went wide with fear.
All of a sudden, the power went out, and the killer made their move.
When all was said and done, Dashing David was lying on the ground in a puddle of ketchup, and Gigantic Gillian was sobbing and still stuffing donuts into her mouth- all at the same time.
Hey guys! So, it's been awhile. Sorry- hope you didn't think I, like, died or something! Weelst, here is the update you've been waiting for! Thanks for the reviews, they make me smile every time I read them.
SO, IN YOUR REVIEW WHICH I KNOW YOU WILL LEAVE, TELL ME THIS:
1) On a scale of one to ten, how exciting is this story getting for you?
2) Who is your LEAST favorite character?
3) NOW who do you think the murderer is?
Thanks, guys!