Invisible to Myself
Summary: Did you ever wonder what it would feel to be invisible? It can be have its advantages and of course have its disadvantages. Only you can escape and change the views of others.
Author's Note: I appreciate the reviews and everything. I'm sorry that I cannot review very often. It's just that life gets in the way. Well, here is the next chapter (written in Serena's POV) and I hope that you enjoy it. Those lyrics at the bottom are credited to me and only me (I am also working on a song...).
Chapter Two
Another year. Another day is going to go by with me unnoticed.
"Would you stop?" Darien commanded annoyed.
"Stop what?" I replied with equal frustration.
"Looking like that. Looking like you already know your day is going to suck. It's only the first day. Now smile for me please?" Darien pleaded.
I rolled my eyes and applied a fake smile on my face.
"That smile was forced. Smile like you mean it," Darien ordered. "Don't be such a dork."
"I am a dork," I mumbled.
"Come on, don't be like that. You're not. You're beautiful, smart, creative... Definitely not a dork."
I looked down to cover the wide smile breaking out as a result of Darien's comments."Great, now that we've come to a conclusion that I'm not a dork, can we drop this?"
I probably didn't do a great job trying to conceal my grin because Darien ignored me and said, "You're smiling! If a compliment is all it takes then..."
"Yeah, yeah. Shut up."
"Serena, can't you see that you are more than what meets the eye?"
"I don't believe that is true standing next to my sister," I replied morosely.
"This is isn't about your sister. This is about you. Your sister may be at a high level in academics and athleticism, but if she doesn't have the ability to see things in another way, she stands no chance against you. How can you create great things without the right train of thought? You're so lucky to have both intelligence and logic on your side," Darien lectured.
"Yes, dad. I understand. Now if we don't get to class on time, we are going to be late on the first day," I sighed.
We sat down and listened, or pretended to listen to Mrs. Johnson's lecture of her class expectations this year in language arts. I passed doodles to Darien of me shoving a book into Mrs. Johnson's mouth. Darien tried to stifle a chuckle, but failed to as sound escaped his mouth.
Mrs. Johnson suddenly halted her speech. "Mr. Shields, does disrupting the class humor you?"
Darien cleared his throat and straightened. "Um, no ma'am."
"Really? I hear uncertainty in your voice."
"No, Mrs. Johnson," Darien restated firmly.
"Okay, because it is the first day, I will let you off the hook but if this happens again, be not surprised at the consequences ahead of you. This goes for everybody. As I was saying..."
I shot Darien an amused smirk and he returned it with a glare. He passed me a note that read: 'You owe me one'. In which I responded with a note that said, 'Yeah right. I didn't force you to laugh; you did that on your own'. Darien rolled his eyes and shook his head as he read it. I only smiled and started drawing on a fresh sheet of paper.
When class ended, Darien cornered me. "That wasn't fair."
"Life isn't fair, so get over it," I countered smugly.
"Always with your quick remarks," Darien commented annoyed.
"Hey, a brilliant mind came with the package you opened," I reminded him.
"Now, you acknowledge your abilities..." Darien replied sarcastically.
I giggled as we headed to the locker we shared. A girl passed by and threw me a dirty look. I rolled my eyes and sighed.
"What?" Darien asked noticing my change of emotion.
"Nothing."
"Just because you're smarter than me doesn't mean that I am stupid. Tell me what's wrong," Darien demanded.
"How does it feel to have almost all of the female population swoon over you? I wish I had that affect on guys..." I thought out loud.
"Serena, what's up with you today? You're really bringing yourself down."
"You asked what was going on in my mind and that was it. Do you even notice it?"
"Notice what?" Darien asked concerned.
"The girls all over you?"
"I do, but they aren't important to me. I just ignore it. I mean, it's flattering, but it gets really annoying. I mean, I am a person, not a god to freeze you in awe."
"I have people glaring daggers at me because I have the opportunity to even stand next to you, let alone talk to you. I try to ignore it too, but it gets to me." I sighed once again running my hand through my hair. "I just wish I had that same effect on guys even if it is once and while."
"You like it that I talk to only you right?" Darien joked lazily pulling me by the waist closer to him.
I felt my hears burn, but they were hidden behind my hair. I managed to keep a straight expression and rolled my eyes. "You're my best friend, of course you talk to me all the time."
"I just kidding okay," he defended giving me a noogey.
"Darien! You're messing up my hair that I attempted to fix today!" I screamed.
He laughed. "It looks fine to me."
"Ha ha. So funny that I forgot to laugh. Really, you should be a comedian some day." I looked at my reflection and combed through my hair. I exchanged my books for my next classes and closed the locker. "See you at lunch."
At lunchtime we met at our table and put our stuff down.
"Buying lunch?" Darien asked.
"Nah. Can you just buy me a bag of chips or something?" I searched for my pocket for money.
"Alright," he said and dashed to the line.
"Hey, Serena. How was your summer?" Mina greeted.
Mina used to be my best friend too, so Darien, Mina, and I were the 3 Amigos, or Musketeers, but she started to fade away into the more popular crowd. Now, she only sits at our table from time to time. I come to her to talk about girly things that Darien wouldn't understand. Most people would say that we looked like twins; more alike than my sister and I do. The only differences between us was that she was a little taller, her hair was more golden blond, and she had a darker shade of blue eyes.
"Short. I wrote only two songs and I'm working on a third. I just stayed home, worked out or hung out with Darien and worked to pay for my private teacher."
"That sounds good, but I don't think you need a teacher because your are better than even the teacher."
"I'm not that good. I still need to know more than I already do, so in order to become as good as the teacher, I need one to teach me," I replied modestly.
"You're too humble. Anyway, listen, I've got to tell you something."
"Hey guys," Darien interrupted tossing me my chips.
"Later," Mina mouthed.
I nodded. We all talked about our summer. After Darien and I finished our lunch, we said good-bye and headed towards the music room. "I'm still writing the third song. I'll play you some of it," I uttered excitedly while grabbing the guitar.
I had been given the privilege to go in the music room any time I'd like before school, after school, and lunch because of my useful connections to the music director (I sing for the pep assemblies and I can use the room anytime).
I began to strum the chords of the chorus.
And I'm...
Trying to heal the wounds, but they won't heal
Trying to stop the pain that I can't feel
Oblivious from what is real
You forced my heart to turn to steel
After I finished, I looked at Darien and found him in deep thought. "It was that bad? I'm still not done, so I can change a few things..."
He quickly snapped back to reality. "No, it was perfect. It sounds like the best one yet. Look, Serena, you have to stop thinking you are nothing but thin air. I'm not saying that you should stop writing that song because it is beautiful, but really, you are a talented person and you don't even know it," Darien replied.
"If you were in my shoes, you would probably understand my situation a little better. Plus, you are only saying that because you're my best friend and no one else knows about me really when they get clouded by the power of my sister."
"Yes, but if they knew you like I do, they wouldn't be so consumed in Raye's presence. I don't think that you see the dazed look of every person in the audience when your voice travels throughout the crowd. You can bring everyone to a silence by just singing in perfect tune."
"Don't forget that Raye is a pretty good singer too. She just let go of that dream a long time ago when she discovered that she had other talents."
"Yes, but did she have the capability of writing and composing music? No. It all comes from the heart and creativity. Besides, she can't even play an instrument like you can."
"Do we always have to argue about this?" I asked frustrated.
"Only until you realize your real potential."
I nodded as the bell rang and we both went to class.
It was only the first day and I had homework already. What happened to those days when they just gave you those packets to finish and turn in at the end of the week? Life isn't as simple as it was when I was a kid. I had to do a five-page essay about myself and what I enjoy in language or what interests me in language. It's not that easy to write of accomplishments because some people don't obsess over themselves and like me, don't have many to report of. My paper would probably end up like this:
My name is Ms. Invisible Shadow Serena Tsukino and I love poetry and creative writing.
That about sums it up.
I walked out of the classroom when I heard a "Boo," whispered into my ears and nearly had a heart attack. I turned to find Darien laughing and clutching his stomach. "DARIEN! I thought that my heart stopped! And look what you made me do; my books are all over the floor..." I spoke clenching my jaw.
Darien stopped laughing when he spotted the look I gave him and immediately dropped to pick up my books in a frightened and frantic manner. "Sorry. I just had an exhausting day and..."
"-So you amuse yourself by nearly giving me a heart attack? Great way of enjoyment," I cut him off sardonically.
"So I'm guessing you aren't in a good mood," Darien smiled sheepishly.
I was taken aback from his warm smile that seemed to melt my posture. I escaped my drowning fate and cleared my throat. "What gave that away?..." I asked taking on an irritated character.
What did you think of that? A sort of long chapter... Well, longer than I usually write anyway. Let me know what you thought!