I do not own The Outsiders

Ponyboy August 1988 Continued

The handle to the door turned and in walked Sodapop. Only it wasn't him. The face was narrower, older even. And the hair was blonder but it wasn't that noticeable. If you didn't look for long you never would be able to tell the difference. It was like Darry and my father.

"Hi mom, whose this?" His face scrunched up in confusion and my heart skipped a beat. Sometimes I would forget Soda's voice but this brought it back. Their voice and speech patterns were eerily similar. Again I struggled not to cry.

"Shay, this your Uncle Ponyboy. He came here to learn the truth about you."

Shayne's eyes lighted up then and a grin, Soda's grin, formed on his handsome face. A tear or two did escape then. I sucked in a deep breath. I still hate to cry in front of people.

Shayne set his bag down and walked over to us. I stood up and looked up at him. He was even about Soda's height if I remembered correctly. Shayne lost his smile and said soberly, "I've waited my whole life to meet you."

I didn't know what to say or how to say it so I just tried to smile at him and held out my hand. He shook it drawing me into a gigantic hug. I patted his back. This was my nephew, my long lost brother's son. I did cry then. It was like having Soda again but only for a moment.

"Shayne why don't you and Ponyboy take a walk, maybe get something to eat."

Shayne let go of the embrace. "Do you like pizza, there's a pizza joint not far from here. The pizza is amazing and great breadsticks."

"That would be great."

XXXXXXXX

Shayne and I sat in a red booth waiting on the pizza. We'd been quit on the five minute walk. Neither of us knew what to say to the other. Finally Shayne spoke. "Do I really look like my dad? Mom says I do but she doesn't have any pictures to prove it."

I smiled. "You could be his twin. I took out my wallet and pulled a picture from it. My brother's and I sat on the front porch steps, clad in fall gear. It was Soda's seventeenth birthday. "He's the one on the right."

Shayne grinned. "It's like looking at me when I was that age, amazing. Are you the one in the middle?"

I nodded. "You look a lot alike too." He said.

"He never was able to convince me of that." I said contemplatively.

Shayne sighed. "Was dad anything like mom says?"

"How so?" I wasn't sure if I'd be able to answer. It still hurt to talk about Soda in the past sense.

"She said he was charming and funny. She also said he was sweet and that he was reckless."

"That sounds like him." My eyes went misty and I tried to find the right words to continue. "He was always in some kind of drag race or dance contest. He loved cars and of course girls, mostly your mom. Every girl in Tulsa wanted him though. He worked in a gas station and they would flock to him."

"Pizza's here." A waitress sat down a large pepperoni pizza and two baskets of breadsticks. When she left I continued.

"Sodapop understood everybody. He was the peacemaker in our family, your Uncle Darry and I used to fight all the time. We get along better now but in those days it was Soda who kept us from killing each other. He hated the idea of us not getting along."

"How close were you? Mom says dad was crazy about you."

"I used to say I loved your father more then anybody in the world. He wasn't just a brother to me. He was my best friend. I had real bad nightmares after we lost our parents. He shared a bed with me so that I wouldn't have them. He dropped out of school to help with the bills so I could go on to college. He said it was because he was dumb but Soda, he wasn't." I tried not to cry as my voice cracked.

Shayne took a bite of pizza and wiped his mouth. "I wish I could have known him. He didn't even know about me though. I was mad at mom for awhile about that. But then again how would a toddler remember him anyways."

I sipped on my Pepsi, still an addict after all these years. "I understand where she was coming from. She didn't want either of you to be hurt or disappointed."

"I know that but, I mean, well its tough."

"I know. I lost my parents when I was just thirteen. I can't imagine never have knowing them. You missed out on a good thing and I'm sorry that you did. I'm also sorry that Soda never got to see you before he died. He'd have been nuts about you."

Shayne nibbled absently on a breadstick. "You think so?"

I tried to smile. "I know so. Sodapop loved Sandy and when he loved someone he gave them his all. I can't fathom him not loving his own son." The truth of my words hit me hard.

"I used to think about what it'd be like, when I was little. You know what it would be like to have him around. Dad didn't run off, he never had the chance too, but sometimes when I was little I used to think he did. I felt like maybe I wasn't good enough for him to stick around so he left."

I felt sad then, more so then all day because I felt similar when I lost my folks. "He didn't though. He wouldn't have ever abandoned you."

Shayne took a bite off of his breadstick and sighed. "I know that now. I'm not a little kid; it still hurts."

I ran my hand threw my hair. Somehow Soda's death affected me more then all the rest. Whether it was because I'd already lost so much or because he was Soda I didn't know. All I knew was it still hurt. It was just easier to deal with. "It does still hurt, a lot. You just got to keep going on living. He'd want you to be happy."

"I am happy. I've always had a good life with mom. It's just that something is always missing."

"I know the feeling. Believe me I know."

"I'm glad I got to meet you Uncle Pony."

I smiled then. It wasn't the first time somebody had called me that. Steve's daughter and Two-bit's gaggle always called me that. It was just nice for it to be true for once. "Me too."

Shayne licked his lips. "Tell me about the rest of the family. Mom said I have an Uncle Darry and that dad has some other friends that he was awful close to."

I grinned and took at my wallet. I plucked out a picture taken at Christmas. I handed it to him and pointed to Darry. "This is your Uncle Darry. He took care of Soda and me when your grandparents died. He and I are real close now. He isn't married but he seems pretty happy."

I pointed to Two-bit next. "This is Keith Matthews. He grew up with your dad and I. We all call him Two-bit because he can not shut up to save his life. God only knows how much I love the guy but he is so off the wall that it's crazy. He still acts like a teenager sometimes. He is married to a nice girl though. He sure has a lot of kids."

Shayne laughed. "How many?"

I thought a minute. Sometimes I forgot just how many. "two sets of twins and a singleton"

"Six?'

I laughed then. "I'm tellen the truth, honest. He is just hard wired that way.. He has, a set of girls, eight years old both, a five year old, and two two year old boys."

"He sounds like a mess."

"You don't know the half of it."

Again Shayne laughed and he pointed to Steve. "Who is this?" My face softened a bit. Steve and I had out rough patches but we were really close now. Even before Soda died we were getting better and well I guess after the fact he decided to keep an eye on me.

"Shayne this is Steve Randle. He was your dad's best friend in the whole world. They were nuts about each other. They met in about second grade and the rest is history. You rarely saw one without the other."

"Really?"

I nodded. I licked my lips and continued. "Steve never had that great of a home so Soda was his family. Steve was in the war too, same unit and everything as your dad. I thought that would make it easier but it didn't. I don't know if he saw Soda die or not and part of me doesn't want to." My eyes brimmed with tears.

"Are you okay?"

I shrugged and went on. "He came a back a mess, heavy into drugs. He drank a lot too. He was real depressed, so messed up. Steve is better now though. He's a drug councilor up in Tulsa. He even has a daughter a few months older then Pepsi. Glory but he loves her. Her mom was a slut who ran out on the both of them but he does all right for himself as a mechanic."

"Sounds like he has it the worst of all of them."

"He did but he's happier now then he ever was, even as a kid. And it will make him even happier to meet you."

"Do you think they'll all want to?"

I took a swig of my cola and a bit of my pizza. Then I nodded. "Shayne," I gulped down the slice, "you're family. There is no way any of us would want it any other way. There might be some trouble about your mom, with Steve especially because he holds grudges. But it will all be okay. I know these guys. They will love you. I do."

"You do."

I was much better at expressing my affection then I used to be. "Of course, you're my nephew and you are a great kid." I grimaced. "For the longest time all we ever did is lose the people we loved." I thought of, my parents, Johnny, Dally and of course of Sodapop. "Every time we actually add to our numbers we are all so happy."