Draco Malfoy's Diary

Nov. 12th

threats issued: 2 (poor), hufflesnuffs reduced to tears: 1 (v. poor), times argued with gryffindorks: 18 (v.g. new personal best), junk owl-ordered: none (v.g., room cluttered as it is), cigarettes: 5 (reasonable, considering), panicked about hair: 1 (v.g. am perfection regardless)

8 pm.

Bollocks. It had to be 'one of those days', didn't it? McG deserves slow, painful, humiliating, painful death. Must owl father and make arrangements. Is getting intolerable and must end at once. Bloody Weasleys taking over. Defence has become battlefield and no little surprise. Bloody Weasleys, bears frequent repeating. Although, long hair quite charming when admired from a distance. Must look in to hair-growth charms, or better, badger Severus for potion. Man is a miracle worker. Skin healthier than ever after his skin lotion. Must write thank you note and send chocolate.

11 pm.

Need…air…Goylesocks help…required…fainting…imminent.

Nov 14th

threats iss: 8 (good), threats rec: 29 (impressive), cigarettes: 23 (had reasons, reasons had long hair), hairsasters: 0 (excellent), gryffindork clashes: 1 (v. poor)

11pm

Had wonderful day today. Weasleys in retrospect not that awful, when reach certain age and pierce ears. Neck sore but in a good way. I wonder if he files his teeth, actually. Came out alive after the sock drama, obviously. Must invest in everfresh charms for Goyle's shoes. It would be in my own best interests so will get right on that. Received owl from father with his sincere sympathies. Not what I asked, but he is getting soft in his old age.

Another Potter-saster in the hallways today, and again, not my fault. I must be getting old myself. There were six of them and I simply had to rush out for one more fag, didn't I? Not my fault his glasses were on the floor with him still wearing them, but I would gladly step on his face on purpose any day of the week. That is to say, as long as he doesn't grab hold of my ankle and pull me down to him, which is what happened. Must keep wand in hand at all times when racing through hallways at stately pace in future. Never know when gryffindorks may be licking floor. Gryffindork habits beyond my meagre understanding it seems. Threw in one good hex, so not all lost in the end. Little Weasley will have fun time with purple ridges on body. Mudblood even more so, if it was her he was sucking the tonsils out of last Tuesday.

Nov 15th

threats iss: 3 (reasonable), threats rec: 0 (baffling), cigarettes: 28 (reason still has long hair and bad habits), hairsasters: 0 (v.v.g.), gryffsasters: 0 (strange), presents rec: 1 (silk cravat, silver), enemies vanq.: 0 (hey, it's a new item. needs breaking in)

2pm

It's Saturday and I am quite excited. Hogsmeade, although I am a bit late but that should not be a bother. It is good being a 7th year. Zabini promised gelato, hence excitement. Meals in great hall are very below par, plebeian in fact. A Malfoy is anything but. Also, Long-Haired Weasley is rumoured to be in Hogsmede for supervision. Never can be too careful with the Dark Lord of Doom out and about. Tossers.

5pm

Disgruntled. Gelato was part of elaborate ruse and now I am thoroughly upset. Zabini should know better, really. He will remember in the future that ruse will only work if Malfoy petrified/bound/wandless/dead. Am not any of those things so Zabini will limp until Monday. Attempts of his to reach infirmary will be foiled by Big and Ugly as per my request. Long-Haired Weasley was in fact in Hogsmeade, another reason am upset bordering on enraged. Said Weasley was touching Potter. Everywhere. That is simply Not On. Spectacled disaster carries germs that not suitable for delicate aristocrats like myself. Sessions with LHW must come to an end. As soon as LHW learns lesson about Malfoys. Must shower now, can still remember tongue and teeth on neck and lips. Perhaps a Sanitare is in order as well.

1am

mmmpff, lernd wonder wich iss cosmolopolitan. Ehh, cosmopolitan. Vktor likes vodka too. Mmmm, Vktor.

Nov16th

threats iss: 744 (have bad day) threats rec: 0 (odd but comforting) cigarettes: 0 (???) hairsasters: 1000s (can't be arsed) gryffsasters: 0 (not left room)

7pm

Ugh. I feel trampled. Like Goyle sat on me with Crabbe on his lap. Never felt worse in my entire life. Must have thrown up everything I ever ate in my entire life as well. Look like it as well. There are bags, bags under my eyes. Purple ones!!!! Will exterminate Parkinson and her cocktail of Doom. Bloody, bloody hell. On the upside, half of Slytherin house now terrified, as they should be. Am still furious about LHW and stupid Potter. What's the appeal? Stupid glasses, stupid clothes, stupid messy 'ooh, everyone knows what I look like after a good shag' hair, only HE NEVER GETS SHAGGED ANYWAY, stupid stupid Quidditch muscles. Stupid Boy Who Won't Fucking Die So Draco Can Be Rid Of Him Forever Like He Should. Might become Death Eater just for that despite awful mark and cliché outfits. Better not, delicate aristocrats not meant to kiss icky robes which sweep floors. Might as well buy collar and leash and say 'woof' while they're at it. Daddy is lucky he's a favourite, otherwise Mummy and I would have to murder him and that is Not Done. Ugh, head hurts. Back to bed, Need to make-up 'To Kill' list. Pansy right under Potter and Weasley.