This is the second Drabble. It's that Ed hates Al, Al runs away thing. But it's not quite like the others...
Disclaimer: I don't own FullMetal Alchemist. Oh, what would happen if I did... For one, a BETTER MOVIE!!! They killed so many good people off and left so many things just hanging! There has to be a second movie...
So, here's my drabble. No pairings, No cursing that's actually been typed out, and rated K-T, only for Al starving himself, though. Told from Al's POV, takes place shortly after the movie, without that mary-sue, spoiled, self-obssorbed, memory stealing Noa. Hope it's okay, since it's my first time writing in first-person.
Number Two:
"Of Which Both Brothers Fear."
It's not the fact that my Teacher is dead. It's not that I have three different sets of memories for the same four years. It's not that I left all my friends and Mother's grave behind, or even that I caused the deaths of thousands simply for my own selfish gain, for my desire to have my brother back.
No,
none of that; It's that Brother has put his work over me. Completing
his work is more important than me to him now.
Everything we did,
was always for the other. I lived by Equivilent Exchange, sure, but
I've always have, ever since birth, and always will, even after
death, live by that single line.
But appearently Brother's abandoned that lately.
I can understand that money is important in this world. Everything costs so much, and to be used to having so much money back at home but to start from scratch here... That's a lot to carry. But he's obsessed with his work.
Let me tell you of an average day in our apartment. We live in an apartment because we've decided to take a small break and raise some money before going after the bomb.
My
day starts out a little bit before dawn. I clean up the house, always
avoiding Ed's room, and begin making breakfast for us. Once that's
done I'll set the table, eat my fill, clean the dishes, and read.
Then Ed will come down, mutter something I can't quite translate
into understandable English or what little German I know so far, and
then eat. He'll start to clean the dishes, I'll stop him, and I'll
clean. He disappears and works.
Once
I clean the house a second time, I sit down, and read again.
Then
I take care of the bills and whatnot.
Then more cleaning.
More reading.
A bit of studying and a class I take for learning how to speak German more fluently.
More reading.
Sleep.
That's all it ever is. No visits to Mustang, no searching or traveling, no fights(Well, I've been mugged a few times, but otherwise nothing exciting or out of the ordinary. Actually, not even that's unnusual during these times), not even talking now. Ed works, I clean and re-learn how to talk. Then, on occasion, my mind'll get confused. Sometimes I'll think I'm still in The Gate. Others I think I'm still looking for Ed, and then I'll think I'm armour. Hollow. Numb. Scary. Unable to do anything human at all, putting on an act to show my brother that I'm not completely emotionless because of this armor, and to convince myself that I'm still human. Eventually that act became reality, yes, but during the times when my mind's confused, I'm... Emotionless. I forget things. Like how to eat. Or how to get dressed properly. Or even how to speak because I forget that I need to drink.
A
lot of times I think maybe my Brother's ignoring me is a sign. His
way of saying he wants me to go away, shrivel up, and die, without
actually saying it.
You know what? I think I'm 100 Correct. He.
Hates. Me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This would be the first time. The first time in two months that my brother and I have said anything other than 'mornin'.
I was standing at the door to the large closet, which Ed had made his office, and I was shaking. It wasn't really form the fact that it was freezing, or that I was nervous, but because my legs wanted to collapse. Luckily Brother hadn't noticed that a week ago I stopped eating to save money. Whenever Ed left scraps on his plate, I ate that. Sometimes I'd chew on the bone of whatever meat we could afford, sometimes I'd suck on an apple core for the juice. Otherwise, I didn't eat. So I was weak. It seemed ridiculous to me how many dark rings had formed under my eyes, or how boney and thin my hands and cheeks were. I just hoped, for a breif moment, that Brother really did hate me, and wouldn't care about how thin I looked.
Raising
a shaking fist, I lightly tapped the door.
"B-Brother?"
I summoned the courage to say that through the wood.
For
a mintue it was silent. I heard a few papers being shuffled, a pen
dropping on a desk, and a deep sigh.
"What, Alphonse?"
His
tone made me flinch. I think he knew I was scared now, because he
quickly mumbled an apoligy for the frusterated and annoyed tone.
"C-Can I talk to you? I promise you can get back to your work... This'll only take a second..."
After my words, I waited. And after I waited, I leaned my back against the door. After that, I think I passed out from exhaustion.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edward: 7 Alphonse: 6
"Brother! Big Brother! Wait up!" Alphonse called, tripping once bcause of his long, winter pants and quickly getting up. After standing he sped off again.
Edward
ran faster. He wanted just one second to himself. Every second of
every minute of every hour of every day was spent focused on
Alphonse. It was always about Alphonse. Just one moment to
himself!
"Brother! Why won't you wait up?" He could hear
his little brother whining. He growled.
"'Cause I don't wanna
play, Al! Go home!" he shouted over his shoulder. Didn't work.
He could still hear Al running after him.
"But
Brother! Why not? You always play with me!"
"Exactly!
Gimme a Break! Go home and pratice Alchemy or somethin', just go
anywhere that I'm NOT." He screamed before running faster. if he
had turned around, he would have seen Al's tear-filled eyes staring
in shock, the young, six year old boy having stopped dead in his
tracks. Had his... Did his brother just ditch him? Was the thought in
Al's mind when he realized Ed was no longer in sight.
Ed
growled and skipped a rock over a pond.
"Always hanging on to
me. How am I gonna hang out with my friends if my stupid little
brother's always around me?" he muttered, skipping another rock.
He knew deep inside of him that he didn't think his little brother
was stupid, that he just wanted his own time for other things, but
right now he was too angry to choose better words.
"I hate
him. Someday when I go off'n live by myself, if he tries ta live with
me, I'll kick him out!" Edward added. He looked around and
spotted a spider. He picked up the tiny, harmless thing and growled
again.
"This is what I wanna do to him!" He said to no
one as he crushed the helpless creature with his hand.
Of course, in the single worst moment, Al was behind a rock, watching. And, of course, he let the tears flow freely, turning and silentily vanishing.
"Hey, Ed! Where's you're little bro? Isn't
he always around?" One of Ed's friends asked.
Ed
snorted.
"Oh, so suddenly my annoying little brother has to
be around me twenty four seven? How the heck should I know where he
is? Who cares, anyway?"
Ed's
group of friends glanced at each other, exchanging worried looks.
Ed's golden eyes narrowed and he crossed his arms.
"Alright,
you guys, what is it? You're all thinking something..."
A moment of silence.
Finally,
one of Ed's friends spoke up. His voice showed he didn't want to be
the one to tell Ed this certain little fact. The one that caused the
child to freeze, turn, and run.
"E-Ed... You do know that
there have been reports of kidnappings around here, right?"
Short
legs carried him as fast as the young boy could go. His once
anger-filled golden eyes now heald only worry and fear. He hadn't
known that! And it should figure that AFTER he says those things
about his brother, that small part saying everything he said before
was a lie kicked in and scolded him. If Al really was kidnapped, who
knows what they could be doing to him?! What's worse, it would be all
Ed's fault...
"Al?! Al! Where are you?!" he screamed as
he ran down a dirt path. For a reason unknown, he strayed off the
road at one point and went into the woods, running through the one
place they were forbidden by their mother to go in.
Al should
have known better than to sit by a pond in the middle of a forest,
because Ed was a trouble maker, and doing the forbidden was what he
did. So that's where he found Alphonse. Curled up with his arms
folded on his knees and his head burried in his arms, shivering.
"Al?
Al! There you are!" Ed said, smiling as he slowed down and put
his hands on his knees, gasping for air.
"I was so
worried!"
Al jumped and looked at Ed with wide eyes before
curling up again.
"No you weren't..." He mumbled.
Ed
looked confused. He knew perfectly what Al was talking about,
though.
"What d'ya mean, Al?"
"I
mean you didn't miss me, you weren't worried. You probabley didn't
even wanna find me. Did Mom make you come look for me?"
"Al!
Why would you say that?!"
"Because," He looked
up.
"... Because I hate you?"
Al nodded, then burried
his head further in his arms.
Ed
was left speechless for a moment, but he regained his ability to talk
after said moment passed.
"Al," his tone was gentle,"
Hey, come on. I don't hate you. I just got mad, that's all. I needed
to get away from you for a little bit, okay?"
Alphonse had to think. He had to think very hard before making a decision. VERY, very, hard. But, he did eventaully stand, hesitate, and walk over to Ed, following him home.
He regretted running away later. He was ill for four days straight. Ed was disgusted to find out that only milk stayed down.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Mmmm...
'Cause... nnn... Hate..." My eyes squeezed shut tightly for a
moment before opening slowley. I was in bed, the covers pulled up to
my shoulders, and an empty chair was pulled up next to me. My dark
golden eyes(or that's the color they were the last time I actually
cared about what I looked like) wandered over to a clock. Four
thirty in the morning. A soft sigh escaped my lips, and I pulled the
covers back, quietly getting out of bed.
Just as I opened the
door, I found myself staring into deep, golden eyes that showed
surprise.
"Oh, Al, you're awake? It's awefully early..."
Brother said. He sounded... Happy... This was new.
Confused and
surprised, I let my eyes travel downward to the bowl of soup, spoon,
apple, and glass of water on a tray heald in his hands. Looking back
up, I put my hand to his head, checked his pupils, and poked his
head. He just looked at me as though I were insane.
"Al,
what're y-"
"Well, you're not sick, you're not on drugs,
and you're not drunk... Brother, do you feel unwell?" I asked,
backing away to sit on the bed. He sat beside me in the chair. He
laughed loudly. It was a sweet sound after two months of
nothing.
"No, silly! I was bringing you some food. You know,
food, that thing you eat so you can funciton properly?" He said.
I smiled and chuckled. He seemed different. Probabley from pity.
"Yes, I know brother. But you should eat first."
Now it was Ed's turn to stare at ME like I was insane. He set the tray down on the table next to my bed and then looked back to meet my gaze.
"Why? I made this for you, Al." He said, voice showing he was a bit cautious. I don't think he believed he would like my answer.
"Come on, Brother, haven't you noticed?" I replied.
Oh, he REALLY wasn't going to like this.
Now Ed was down right terrified. It was obvious, really. Eyes widened to the size of base-balls, mouth opened slightly, and a small hint of sweat on his forehead.
"Noticed what?" He half whispered half spoke.
I contemplated something for a moment. Ed always thought Actions were louder than words... So I unbuttoned my shirt and showed him my ribs, which were horrifically defined. For only one week it really had an impact... I didn't think it had gotten that bad...
So of course, I didn't get the wanted reaction. His already wide eyes nearly popped right out of his head and his jaw dropped so far I was sure if it dropped any more, he would ruin his jaw completely. To put things plainly, if he was terrified earlier, he was scarred for life now. The look said that on its own without my saying so, I would hope.
"You really haven't noticed? That's okay, I didn't think you would. See, a week ago I noticed I had to put a little more effort into sorting out our money. I noticed we spent a bit too much on food, so I stopped eating and only bought enough for you. Whatever you didn't eat, I took. Then bones would go to dogs and whatever small scrap I left would go to starving street-children too scared to steal." I explained, and he just stared.
For a moment, anyway.
Then he stood, narrowed his eyes, and started on a mad rampage through my room, smashing his fists into walls and saying a few things I'd rather not repeat. Mostly cursing this world, complaining about overpriced food products, and about how sucky and crappy his and my life had become. I think he threw in something about Mustang too, I don't really know, I was too busy figuring out how to rebutton my shirt. Another 'confusion episode'. Great. So when you button a shirt you clap the two buttons together and they combine and- no, that's not right... Um... You stab the button in your shirt and slide it- no... Oh! You put it through that hole there and- I get it! Okay... Now... How do you repair walls?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brother's rampage lasted a total of two days. I passed out somewhere in the middle of it, and woke up. The tray was gone. I noticed the aching hunger was gone too; He'd force-fed me in my sleep.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once Ed's rampaging had stopped, we sat down in my room again. This time we both sat in chairs across from each other.
He was still attempting to cool off from his rampage, but he tried to keep as calm a voice as possible.
With his golden eyes glaring directly into my very SOUL, he spoke in an obviously restrained voice.
"So, why?"
I gulped and shifted a bit in my seat.
"Um...
Well..."
"Answer me, Al; Why'd you start doing this to
yourself? Starvation and lack of sleep aren't a good combination for
a 17 year old trapped in 13 year old body." He did snap that,
though.
"Well...
See, I know we needed the money, and I thought-"
"Money?!
Why would you think MONEY is more important than your health,
Alphonse?!" he shouted.
I flinched and gulped again, wanting to fuse myself with the chair I was sitting on, though of course I couldn't use Alchemy anymore. So I settled with ducking my head between my shoulders.
"Because I didn't think you um... Because I thought you hated me, Brother. I didn't think you'd care if I died or not, and I didn't want you to be too stressed, so I-" I stopped, acting like the floor was the most interesting thing in the world, eyes never leaving the ground. I knew my brother wouldn't be very happy with that.
"Al...
You WHAT? Thought I hated you? Al, why'd you think that?"
"Because
you're obsessed with your work."
"Because I work a
little too often?"
"Because
you work EVERY hour of EVERY day, Brother."
Ed looked a
little hurt. Scratch that, he looked really hurt. He was staring at
the ground now, too, so I had the courage to look up at him, but I
quickly regretted it and looked back at the ground.
"Guess we were both worried a little more about money than we should have been, huh?" he finally said.
I nodded in agreement. To be honest, I kind of expected that. Brother's guilt trips were pretty much famous. Every person I questioned during my searching said he'd constantly blame everything wrong with my life, his life, mom's life, everyone he knew's life, on himself.
"That's alright. I'll help you with your work, if you want." I said. Here it comes...
"Nah,
I don't need help. I just need to take breaks. You need to eat,
though."
Almost...
"I'll be fine, I just need to buy
a little more food. Once we start traveling we shouldn't have to
worry as much."
There it is. We'd both agreed on fixing things. My brother, of course, didn't say it, but I knew he was thinking 'I love you, little brother', and I, of course, hugged him and said it before going and chugging an entire bottle of milk.
I've learned two things from this: One, my brother always has been and always will be there for me.
Two...
NEVER, EVER, again will I starve myself for a week. It does NOT make you attractivly thin like every woman in this world seems to think.
And that's the end of my second drabble. Hope it wasn't too bad. As for Al being in a 13 year old body, it's actaully around 12 and a half, but I'd like to think he's in a 13 year old body for some reason. Dunno why, just do. -Cri.
