When Nico awoke he was surprised to find himself tied to a chair. Still In the dark he grunted out, "Mrs. Feeessj? Hello? Can you please let me go!?" He reached down, stretching his hand out, and grabbed his phone from his pocket. The date was Saturday. How long had he been here!?
The fish stepped out of the shadows, "Finally he is awake. My jowls have needed massaging."
Nico gagged and struggled against the restraints, "Let me go!" He screamed, kicking and squirming.
"I'm afraid I cannot dooze dat," Mrs. Feeessj grinned, "You see Nico, I need you to scrub the hard to reach places in my jowls."
The boy yelled and screamed for help, but to no avail. Mrs. Feeesj locked the doors and turned the lights on. Nico blinked as the surroundings became clear. He was sitting in a chair suspended over a giant pit of slimy green liquid. The chair seemed to be attached to a pulley, that the fish could easily pull and release the boy, falling down into the yucky green goo.
"What is this stuff!?" He struggled more.
"Mr. Onella. You remember him? He had graciously donated large amounts of salmonella secretions for dis pot that I have suspended you over. Dis is punishment for you now." The fish smirked and pushed a chalk board into the light, "We will now do some math problems!"
"Nooooooo!"
"Where the hell is he?" Allison groaned. The group of friends were walking through the quad, looking for Nico. It had so far been 5 days, and they had still heard no word from him.
Tweek twitched and sipped his coffee, "You g-guys!? I'm worried! Gah!"
Allison frowned, "It's probably Mrs. Feessj!"
"Isn't that his freshman year evil math teacher you guys were talking about?" Stan asked.
"Yeah, she's insane!" Jessie agreed, "We have to rescue him!"
Allison groaned, "This isn't a good idea guys.. But I guess we have to do it. I think I know who can help."
...
"Damn! This good stuff..." Cheesy lay back and blew some smoke out of his mouth.
((Cheesy is the old friend of Nico, Allison, and Jessie's who is literally made of cheesy toast. He loves getting high on cheesy toast, and generally causes trouble wherever he goes. Cheesy raped Santa a few years back, and somehow they had a daughter named Chesca. His crazy imagination has fucked up shit every time he's around the teens, but he can be helpful sometimes; especially when he's high. Ok:back to the story))
A knock was heard at the door and Cheesy wobbled over, "What the hell do you want? Oh. Hi Allison. Jessie. Everyone else." He took another puff of his cigarette.
"We're here for your help," Allison admitted.
"What the hell do I need to do this time?"
"Well, i don't know... Maybe-HELP SAVE NICO FROM THE FISH!" Jessie fumed.
"Woah woah. Ok, alright," Cheesy stomped his cig against the hardwood floors, "Come on in."
The group followed Cheesy down to his basement and he punched in some codes and blew some smoke into a contraption that flipped out of the wall.
"I am so confused right now.." Kenny admitted.
"Welcome- Mr. McAssbarf." A robotic voice spoke and the giant metal doors clicked open.
"Follow me," Cheesy said, ushering them into a far corner of his laboratory labeled: 'Arsony.'
"Woah.." Everyone said at the same time, as Cheesy again punched a code into a keypad and the wall opened up, revealing loads of weapons strapped to the insides.
"Lets suit up." Cheesy put on some black sunglasses and farted with a smirk. "Yeaaaaaaaah."
Allison turned purple, "Ugh, gross." Kyle patted his girlfriend's shoulder.
"S-shit! That smells!" Tweek twitched and held his nose.
"It's called Cheese, guys! Get over it! Smell my ass cheeks!" Cheesy farted again and rocketed up to the ceiling where he briefly looked down at the startled kids before hooking himself onto a rope and sliding back down. "Yeaaaaah."
Stan groaned, "Can we just get the hell out of here?" He wrapped his arm around Wendy and frowned.
Cheesy still held a cheesy grin. (No pun intended. Ok-maybe pun intended. Pun intended.) "Lets get everyone situated. Allison-you can have the salmonella shooter." He tossed down a plastic gun that looked very similar to a super soaker but was filled with green liquid. She caught it with raised eyebrows and a curious look. "Jessie-you can take this milk spray." Cheesy tossed a small can down to her, "Throw that sour milk into anyone's face and they'll be temporarily blinded. Not temporarily, of course. That baby's been rotting away in here for 2 decades just for a day like this!"
Jessie shrugged and put the can in her hoodie pocket.
"Kyle-take my exploding tampons, just be careful, I may have used a few after I ate Chipotle a few nights ago." The Jew boy caught the box and stuffed it into his jacket. "Kenny can use my circumcision scalpel. I stole it from the doctors after I was born." Cheesy gingerly handed the large knife down to the boy in the orange hood.
"Damn. You're fucking packing Cheesy!" Kenny looked jealous.
"Well I don't brag, but it's pretty fucking giant." He reached up and grabbed another gun, "This one's for you Wendy. It doesn't have an official name, but I like to call it, 'the growth ray.' I've had it since before I was born.."
"Well that explains a lot.." Jessie said and Allison bursted out laughing.
"Shut up!" Cheesy said, turning back to his weapons wall. "This is for you, Stan." Cheesy tossed down a thin stick, "It's a double ended dildo. Use it wisely, because it's already been used."
Stan gagged and threw it across the room, "What the fuck Cheesy!?"
"Relax, I'm kidding with you! There's a button on the side. It's actually a double ended vibrator."
Stan threw up a little.
"And for Tweek.. You get the balloon pants!" Cheesy tossed a pair of thick red pants down to the coffee boy, "Pull the tab on the side, and you can float up to the skies!"
"Sweet!" Tweek slipped into them.
Cheesy descended from the wall, "As for me; I'm taking a small bottle of ass herpes that I bought online, and this PINGAS gun. The PINGAS gun is very powerful, but it's a secret for now.. Suit up men, off we go!" Cheesy took off running and all the kids had to chase after him.
...
Nico struggled against the restraints, refusing to give in to the inevitable, "Let me go you jowled freak!" He screamed.
"Now, now," Mrs. Feeessj cooed, "You never get a passing grade wit dat attitude!"
"Hell no I won't! This isn't even a real class!" He spat onto the orange fish.
Mrs. Feeessj wiped a fin across her jowl with a frown, "I guess little Nico is asking for... A DETENTION."
"No." Nico whispered.
The fish flipped a switch and Nico dropped down and stopped an inch away from the salmonella pit. "Any more issues we needs to take care of?"
"Nothing, nothing," Nico stated, totally close to giving up the fight.
"And now, we gots to dooze more math." Mrs. F started scribbling on the chalkboard and babbling in Dutch.
Suddenly the door to the classroom blew open and Cheesy stood in the smoke, "I think you have something that belongs to me Mrs. Feeessj."
The fish cackled, "And vut are you going to dooze? Tell on me?"
"I have something better in mind.." Kyle stepped into the room, holding a small white object in his hand. "You see Mrs. Feeessj, if you mess with my girlfriend's friend, you mess with me!" He tossed the object in his hand onto the ground and it exploded, sending the Fish's grin away. "Exploding tampons. Oh, look! This one's got blood on it!"
Mrs. Feeessj started to back away.
"Or maybe if that doesn't change your mind.. Maybe this will!" Kenny withdrew the large circumcision knife and aimed it at the jowly teacher, "It's pretty damn sharp!"
Jessie stepped out from behind her boyfriend, "You better have perfect vision, because It would be much more fun to ruin!"
The rest of the kids stepped into the room and all aimed their weapons at the fish.
"Well, looks like you've got me," Mrs. Feeessj said, "Or not." She pressed another button on the ceiling with her right jowl; the kids watched it extend and stretch up to the roof. The sound of footsteps was heard.
"I have much more salmonella than you do," Mr. Onella held a large cock in his hands, "I work at a cock plantation and grow special dicks filled with salmonella, so don't mess with me. Oh, come on now!"
Mr. Askankwithherpes appeared from behind Mr. Onella, "I'm here too!"
"And me!" Mr. Sjobring (AKA: the giant frog) popped his head out as well.
"Looks like we've got a real battle on our hands, "The fish cackled.
"We're just here for the boy!" Cheesy yelled angrily.
"Yeah, I knew my friends would come rescue me!" Nico exclaimed.
"Shut up, faggot!" Sam Onella shouted.
"Don't call me that, you're the one with the cock plantation!" He retorted with a frown!
"Just hand over the transboy and no one gets hurt!" Cheesy said.
"I dooze not think so!" Mrs. Feeessj said, and extended a jowl to slap Cheesy in the face, knocking him over. The kids gasped.
Then a loud noise came from above and everyone watched a big red sleigh fly down through the roof. "No one messes with my baby daddy! You ho ho hoes!" It was Santa.