[Note from the Author: Hey everyone! Thanks for reading Chapter One and for the few reviews I got. It means so much to me. I thought that no one would read this, seeing as I'm a crappy writer and all xD Anyway, to answer some questions that are being asked:

Yes, Allen still has his red arm and his scar, it will be mentioned shortly in this chapter.

Yes, Allen is still Cross's monkey and has his poker skills to earn money for tobacco and alcohol and to pay off debts.

The other characters will be brought up briefly in this chapter, but will be around more during the week days.

Finally, I have decided that Allen will date someone soon, but you are going to have to read to find out ;D

I forgot this last time, but I don't own D. Gray-Man in any way, shape, or form. This is purely fanwritten and I am not making any kind of profit off it.

Last but not least, thanks to all my readers. I really hope that you enjoy this story. I was inspired to write this because I have been in Allen's shoes.

Happy Readings!

~Kumori]

Chapter Two

The next morning Allen woke up in even more pain then he had been in the night before. He grunted as he painfully rolled off his bed and limped to the bathroom across the hall. Once inside, he began to study the bruises on his neck and his face. The bridge of his nose was indigo, his right eye was black, and his left cheek was purple. The red scar on his left cheek was still visible, but it was a bit harder to see. His neck on the other hand was almost completely violet on the left side. There was no way that Allen could hide these injuries.

Very carefully, Allen slid his shirt off his body and examined his torso in the mirror. "Sweet Jesus..." he mumbled at the sight of his chest being almost entirely cover by bruises. His red arm was already ugly enough, but now he had a black and blue chest. He thought of Lavi touching his chest so daintily. That felt so good... Allen saw his face begin to glow red in his reflection. He quickly shook that thought away from his mind. No! No! I can't keep thinking about Lavi like that! He's my best friend. He has Tyki... At that thought Allen almost screamed. In order to keep an angry screech from escaping his lips, he bit down on his tongue as hard as he could. The pain instantly calmed him down. He spit blood into the sink and turned towards the shower.

Fifteen minutes later, Allen was in his room toweling his white hair dry after putting on his favorite pair of jeans. I should probably call Lavi and apologize for yesterday. He walked over to his phone which was still laying next to his closet from when he had tossed it there the day before. He flipped it open to see that he had four unread messages. All from Lavi.

4:32 pm: ello? r u ok or wat? :/

4:50 pm: seriously, i need to kno if ur alrite or not.

5:10 pm: i swear if u dnt reply in the nxt 2 mins im gonna come to ur house.

5:12 pm: k here i come. :(

Allen suddenly felt bad. Lavi really did care what happened and wanted to help him, but he had only pushed him away. He wouldn't be able to hear Lavi's voice now. The guilt would start to eat him alive if he did. He decided to send his friend a text message instead.

8:43 am: Hey. I'm really sorry for yesterday. Is there anyway that you and I could hang out later today?

8:46 am: sorry dude, kinda hangin w/ my portuguese prince 2da still havent forgiven u 4 yday -.-

8:47 am: Come one Lavi, please forgive me? I didn't mean to be a jerk yesterday, I was just having a really bad day.

8:49 am: i culd tell. no i dnt forgive u. i only will if u tell me who beat u up so i can kick the shit out of them! =.=*

8:51 am: But Lavi, I can take care of the issue myself. I don't need any help.

9:01 am: fine. dnt talk 2 me anymore unless u tell me who hurt u. i h8 2 b like this, but ur not givin me much of a choice. I JUST WANNA HELP U!

9:03 am: Lavi! Don't be like that! Please!

Allen waited a half hour before he finally gave up. Lavi was really serious about ignoring him until he finally told him who hurt him so that he could go on a rampage. "Ugh!"

"Brat! Get your ass down here!" Cross bellowed from the bottom of the stairs. Allen sighed and set his towel down on his bed and walked towards the stairs. He didn't feel like putting on a shirt right now. He was in his own house, he didn't need to hide his hideous arm or the bruises.

When Allen reached the bottom of the stairs, he was instantly thrown against the wall by Cross. Allen clutched his stomach and groaned. "Dammit, Master! That hurt!"

"Shut up, you stupid brat!" Cross yelled while he aimed a roundhouse kick for Allen's head. Luckily, Allen dodged just in time. This was how the two males said 'good morning' to one another. They would spar for about a half hour, or until Allen begged for mercy. Today, Allen was begging within two minutes.

"Ow, Master, please stop! I'm hurting really badly!"

"That's the point, Brat!"

"Master, please! Mercy!"

"No! Your punishment for giving up quickly is to be beaten!"

"Noo! Master!"

After ten long minutes of getting the snot beaten out of him, Cross finally grew bored and walked to the kitchen to grab a beer. "You are a useless excuse for an apprentice, boy," Cross growled as he opened his beer and chugged half of it. "I thought that you wanted to learn how to fight so you could stand up to people like the ones who killed your dad, huh? How are you supposed to be a good fighter if you let yourself get beaten up at a school filled with wusses?"

Allen winced. Cross was speaking the truth. The reason why Allen was even putting up with Cross who was a pathetic excuse for a guardian was because Cross was teaching the young teen how to defend himself against anyone who would try to hurt him. When he was twelve, he watched as his adoptive father Mana was beaten and killed before his eyes.

Not a single day went by without Allen wishing that he had been stronger that day. That's why he allowed Marian Cross to take him in. The man was in the special forces years ago and knew how to fight.

"I was going to tell you to go earn some money, but I can't have you leaving the house like that. Someone will end up calling child protective services on me or some shit like that."

Allen sighed. Typical Master, only thinking about himself.

"What did that faggot friend of yours want yesterday? He came into my house as if he owned it. The only reason I allowed it was because he had said it was an emergency. That little queer is lucky that I didn't kick his ass."

The white-haired teen gritted his teeth. He hated it when Master Cross called Lavi names like fag or queer or any other names really. "He was just worried about my injuries is all."

Cross chuckled. "Watch out boy, I think that little homo has a crush on you."

Allen blushed. No, no, no. Come on, don't listen to what he says. You know it's not true. Don't get your hopes up... "Master?"

"What do you want, brat?"

"I'm not feeling too well. Would you mind if I went to bed for the day?"

"Whatever. Do what you want. Except I'm not allowing you to leave this house until the bruises on your face and neck are healed. Then I won't have to worry about be charged with beating you or whatever."

Now having permission, Allen raced up the stairs into his bedroom and shut the door behind him. He went straight to his bed and curled up into a ball under his comforter.

He closed his eyes and willed himself to fall asleep. That dark feeling was beginning to creep up inside him once again and he didn't want to feel as it slowly and painfully ate him away from the inside. Finally, the boy was getting his way. His eyes drooped slowly as he gratefully entered the blissful world of sleep.

*.*.*.*

Allen woke up again in the evening. He glanced at the clock on his wall, it read 7:08 pm. Yawning, he heard his phone vibrating from his desk. He painfully sat up and flipped his phone open. He found that he had several messages from Lavi and Lenalee.

10:02 am: r u gonna tell me now?

11:36 am: hb now?

12:27 pm: now?

1:52 pm: now? ! ? !

2:01 pm: Heyy Allen! Want to hang with me at the mall later? :]

2:31 pm: r u ignoring me now? O.O"

2:51 pm: u r so ignoring me rnt u? T^T

3:11 pm: y wont u just tell me alredy? -.-

5:16 pm: DONT YOU IGNORE ME ALLEN WALKER! =.=**

7:09 pm: fine. i c how it is -.-

Allen sighed. Lavi really hated being ignored. Allen was tempted to not reply now because Lavi was the one who started the ignoring in the first place, but he decided against it.

7:10 pm: I thought that you were ignoring me?

7:11 pm: flippin jesus. i thought u died or sumthin.

7:13 pm: No, just was in a deep slumber. What do you want? I thought that you were refusing to talk to me for the time being?

7:15 pm: that was b4 i got lonely :(

7:16 pm: Lonely?

7:18 pm: yea. my prince and i r still arguing. n lenalee went 2 the mall n yuu h8s wen i txt him. ive had no1 all day :,(

7:19 pm: I'm sorry, Lavi.

7:20 pm: yea watevr. so have u decided to tell me yet?

7:22 pm: No. I am not bringing you into this. I can deal with this myself so please stop asking.

7:24 pm: but beansproooooout!

7:25 pm: No 'buts'! And my name is Allen!

7:26 pm: aaaaarrrrrgggggg! u r rlly gettin on my nerves!

7:28 pm: Then just go back to ignoring me!

Once again, Allen chucked his phone across the room. He was really getting upset that Lavi didn't trust him to fight for himself. But what made him even more upset was the fact that he wanted to tell Lavi. He wanted to show proof to his best friend that Tyki is dangerous. Dammit! Dammit, dammit, dammit! Allen punched himself in the gut and cursed at the pain that shot through his entire upper body.

Suddenly, Allen heard his stomach growl. He remembered that he hadn't eaten anything since lunch the day before. Although he wanted nothing more then to continue beating himself up for his own stupidity, the boy needed to eat. He stood up slowly, wincing from the protest of his really sore muscles, and slowly went downstairs to raid the fridge.

*.*.*.*

Allen stumbled back into his room. He had eaten a meatloaf sandwich, some steak, chicken tenders, rice and stew, and some Jell-O. He was full and was ready for bed.

The teen flopped onto his bed and shut his eyes. He was ready to fall asleep again. He didn't know why he was as tired as he was, he had slept all freaking day for Pete's sake! Just as his eyes were getting heavy and sleep was just a moment away, Allen felt an unwelcome yet familiar feeling snake it's way into his stomach. Ugh, of course.
This unnamed black emotion made his gut twist, turn, tear in many directions and it was making it hard to breathe. It always crept on Allen in the worst of times. It was always when Allen was with Lavi, or whenever he was alone. Tears began to flood his vision once again.

Allen tried to place this horrible emotion on multiple occasions. It couldn't be depression, this was so much more intense. It wasn't jealousy, anger, or even pity for himself. It was impossible. He just couldn't figure it out. This emotion that goes unnamed has pushed him close to the edge on multiple occasions. Glancing at his right wrist, he could barely make out the white, faded scars in the dark. He had cut himself numerous times on nights just like this one.

His eyes flicked to the top drawer of his desk. That's where he kept his knife. It was safely hidden underneath the pictures of Mana that Allen had managed to save. Retrieving the knife was a hard task, because it meant that he had to stare back at Mana's smiling face to do so. Now that Allen thought about it, he's pretty sure that's why he had hidden it there in the first place. Maybe seeing Mana's face would make him think better thoughts. Unfortunately for Allen, it never worked. Instead of feeling nostalgic thoughts with a pang of sadness at the sight of his beloved father, he would feel guilt wash over him because he knew that Mana would never approve of his actions and would be disappointed. This only added to Allen's sadness to the unnamed black emotion and made him cut himself deeper. When Allen cut, he could feel the sharp pain make all his other pains slowly fade away. It proved to him that emotional pain was really no match for physical pain.

No one knew that he cut. He already always wore long sleeved shirts with gloves to hide his hideous left arm. He knew that if his friends found out, they would definitely be angry at him.

Thankfully, Allen was too tired and already in too much pain to physically harm himself tonight. He couldn't muster the energy to make himself get off his bed and retrieve the hidden weapon. Consequently, without the blade Allen was forced to endure the horrible emotion until he finally fell asleep.

[Note from the Author: Hey everyone. Thanks again for reading. I wanted to warn you that the next chapter will not be uploaded as quickly because I haven't started writing it yet. Anyway, sorry if my writing bores you, but thanks for reading anyway. Next chapter will be a bit happier and you will get to see who Allen dates! \(^w^)/

Until Next time!

~Kumori]