Wasted Time
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight ... unfortunately but the wonderful Stephanie Meyer does.
EPOV
I don't hate Carlisle for changing. He has been so good to me and has been a father to me for years. My new family say that human memories fade but I know one that will never fade, my Bella.
Her face is imprinted on my mind. It's the only thing I can see, the only thing I want to see. All my memories of her are so clear, it's as if they just happened yesterday. Her lush brown hair, hazel eyes that I constantly found myself lost in and then as I would stare intently she would blush and that is one of the things I miss the most. I miss her smile, her laugh, the fact that she couldn't walk over a flat surface without falling - of course I was there to catch her and I also miss the fact that she completed me.
For the past seventy years I have wandered about like a lifeless zombie. It hurts Carlisle to see me like this and it hurts Esme, my new mother. My birth mother died from the Influenza so Carlisle found Esme and changed her. She had jumped off a cliff after the death of her baby. She became Carlisle' mate. Esme has caramel coloured hair and a heart-shaped face. She is the most loving person I know and loves gardening and interior design. Esme can perform miracles when it comes to the interior of buildings. Carlisle has blonde hair and was a preacher's son. He had no help when he was changed and I can imagine it was very difficult for him. He chose to feed off animals which is unusual for our kind but none of us Cullens want to be monsters. Because of our feeding habits we all have topaz coloured eyes not red like other vampires.
Carlisle also changed Rosalie who had been raped and left for dead. He had hoped she would become my mate but I have never felt anything but sisterly love for her. My heart still belongs to Bella and always will.
Rosalie is gorgeous. I'm not ashamed to say it because I would be lying if I said otherwise. She has long blonde hair and legs that go on for miles. She could be a model. Luckily for her, while out hunting a few years back she came across a man who had been mauled by a bear. She carried him for miles hoping Carlisle could change him and he did.
The man's name was Emmett McCarthy. To say Emmett is tall would be the understatement of the century. He is huge and very broad. Emmett is very strong and looks intimidating but once you get past the muscular exterior, he's really a big softie.
Like I said before I don't hate Carlisle for changing me because I never would have met my new family and I don't want to leave them. My only regret is that I couldn't say goodbye to my Bella. I don't even know what happened to her. When I was strong enough to control my thirst to be around humans I went back to Chicago, expecting to find an older Bella with a husband and family. The thought tore me up inside, it still does, but when I arrived, she wasn't there. She was reported missing. There was no trace of her. I searched for her but it was all in vain. I can only assume that she die...(wince) I can't bring myself to say it never mind contemplate it.
After that I just hid myself away and felt sorry for myself, I still do. I'm ashamed of myself that I'm putting my family through this pain. I've wandered the better half of a century alone while surrounded by happy couples. My family say I will find myself another person to love but I know I will never love someone as much as I love Bella. The love I give to them will be but a shadow of what I can really feel.
I thought Carlisle would understand my feelings. He saw Bella and I together. He even worked with her. I thought of when I lived in Chicago, of all my memories, of the first time I laid eyes on her. The thoughts brought on a new wave of anguish so I curled into a ball and drowned in my misery.
A/N By the way did I mention that this is my first fanfic so please be patient with me if the writing sucks or whatever. If you love it then review. If you don't ... review anyway. If you do review I will totally send you a scrumptious box of Irish cadbury's milk chocolate. Ireland is the only place to get great cadbury chocolate. Trust me!! So yeah review!
Charming =]