Amell nodded and tried to listen to the First Enchanter but her thoughts kept returning to a certain blond haired, golden eyed templar. She hadn't expected to see Cullen so soon. Seeing him threw her off completely. He looked, well she shouldn't think about that. He had definitely grown into his looks. What had once been a boyish handsomeness had transformed into a gorgeous man. She knew she shouldn't think of him in this way, that it complicated why she was there, but she couldn't help it. He haunted her.

He hadn't been happy to see her, that much was obvious and she tried not to let it bother her because in a way she hadn't been happy to see him either. For three years she dreamed of him, and not all those dreams had been pleasant. She tried to tuck away her thoughts of him and focus on the First Enchanter. He was showing her around, introducing her to the senior enchanters, explaining the way things worked. All things she needed to know but her mind just wouldn't stop.

Being in Kirkwall made her nervous. She had no back up, only Alistair and he'd be in danger too if she screwed up. She could only hope that the stories of Kirkwall were exaggerated. She had walked willingly into a viper's nest and for what? To save strangers? Or to save him? Her heart knew the truth.

The First Enchanter patted her on the shoulder. "You'll adjust and soon you'll fit right in."

"Thank you First Enchanter."

"Please it's Orsino." He gave her a kind smile. She smiled back hoping that the man would turn out to be an ally and not an enemy. There were very few people she could trust and that made her feel lonely.

They passed a pair of templars who openly sneered at them. She swallowed her apprehension. Kirkwall was very different from home. If she wasn't careful this place could destroy her.

# # # # #

Cullen kept a close eye on her. His nights were filled with demons riding in her skin, tempting him with empty promises. And when his body betrayed him, he prayed. He woke, cursing her name. Logically he knew it wasn't her fault but her being here brought back horror he'd been trying to forget.

She actively looked for him. He'd watch her face as she scanned the assembled templars until their eyes met. He would keep his eyes hard, his expression guarded. He wouldn't let her in. She couldn't be let in. She'd furrow her brow, look disappointed as if she expected a different reaction. What did she expect? For him to be happy with her? He wasn't happy, he was worried. And the fact that he worried for her made him feel all the more worse. Why should he worry for her? The Circle was safe. He had nothing to worry about. And yet it still plagued him.

One day, after she'd been there for a few weeks, he got tired of the looks. He pulled her aside and confronted her.

"What are you doing here?"

She looked surprised. "I'm trying to fit in."

He sighed, not believing her. "Why are you here?"

"Let go of me Cullen."

He hadn't realized he still gripped her arm. "It's Knight Captain."

"Oh how you cling to your title." There was a bitterness in her voice he didn't expect.

"It'd be easier if you just told me your purpose."

"Let me go."

"You have no friends here. You shouldn't be here. You are far from home." He kept his voice low, in control.

Her face softened and he loosened his grip but didn't let go of her. "As are you."

"Kirkwall is my home now."

Her eyes went dark. "As it is mine. There can be no turning back. I must go forward." She pulled from him slightly. "I must insist you let go of my arm."

"You are in no position to insist upon anything."

She sucked in a breath. "Who are you?"

He didn't respond or let go. He simply glowered at her. Maybe if he was mean enough she'd get it and leave.

"You ask me to trust you but you're a stranger to me now," she said.

"I can't protect you. You are in danger here."

"Right now the only danger I see is you."

He pulled her in close, smelling the jasmine on her hair and skin. "Amell, you must leave, please."

She was trembling as she gazed up at him. He felt a pull to lower his face and capture her mouth, to claim her. She was so close, so dizzyingly close.

"What is going on here?" A voice broke the spell. He pushed her away and let go.

"First Enchanter," he muttered as he turned to go.

"You must be careful with the templars," he heard the First Enchanter say as he walked away.

Good advice, Orsino, he thought. Maybe she'll listen to you.

As he walked away he realized what he was so afraid of. If she got caught doing whatever it was she was planning, and he knew she planned something, she would be killed. There was no leniency here, not like in Ferelden. It was what he preferred. Leniency had led to the fall of the circle in Ferelden. Here that was not going to happen. He wouldn't allow it. But could he really sit back and watch as she marched to her own doom?

# # # # #

Alistair waited nervously outside the Amell estate. He had promised to seek out Amell's relatives to see if they would be sympathetic to their cause. A dwarf opened the door. Alistair plastered what he hoped was a pleasing grin upon his face. "I seek the lady of the house."

"And who is calling upon her?" the dwarf asked formally.

"I'm a templar named Alistair. I come at the behest of Solona Amell."

The dwarf nodded and let him in. "Please wait here, ser."

Alistair entered the lavish home. Nervousness continued to flit in his gut. A lot rode on this conversation and he wasn't sure he was the man to get it done. But Amell depended on him and he would do his best.

He was not prepared for the beautiful woman that walked down the staircase. Though the color of her hair was a dark brown, different from Amell's fiery locks, she looked staggeringly like Amell. But the way this woman moved, cat-like, full of grace, was so different from Amell. He bowed once she was on the same level as him and found his voice.

"I am Ser Alistair, my lady." He wanted to kiss her hand or something to show his appreciation but he refrained. He wasn't that smooth.

"And what does a templar want with me?"

He cleared his throat, reciting the words he had practiced on the way over. "There is a mage in the Kirkwall circle who would like to meet you. Her name is Amell."

"It could be a coincidence."

"Her father was a cousin of your mother's. Which makes her a cousin of sorts to you."

"And why should I care?"

Alistair was a bit taken back. He had thought the other woman would at least be curious. "She has no one here. She was hoping—"

"To find family."

"Yes."

"I'm afraid I'd just disappoint. Besides I avoid the Circle."

"Because you're an apostate?"

She glared at him. "How?"

"I'm thorough in my investigations. And I know you've risked much in the past to help mages. My friend…" Amell was so much more than just a friend. "She is putting her life at risk to protect innocents from being destroyed."

"How?"

"Meet with her and find out." Alistair was starting to feel a little bit of hope.

"How do I know this isn't a trick?"

"Name the place and time and I'll get her there. Your turf, your rules."

"How are you going to break her out?"

"Leave that to me."

That he already had a plan for that. He had spent the last month studying the layout of the Gallows and he had a pretty good idea on how things worked. Sneaking her in and out would be difficult, but not impossible. And he knew Amell wanted to meet this woman for herself.

"All right. There is a clinic in Darktown. Meet me there at nightfall in two days."

"Very well. Thank you Lady Hawke."

"If this is a trap, I will destroy you."

"I have no doubt of that." He smiled at her and was surprised to see her smile back. She licked her lips and the sight of her tongue caused his stomach to flip. Maker, she was beautiful. Focus Alistair, he told himself. Don't go making yourself look like an idiot.

"I'll take my leave of you then, my lady."

"It's Hawke. Just Hawke."

"Until I see you again, Hawke."

"Looking forward to it, Alistair."