Thanks for the reviews so far! Keep 'em coming lol Remember this story is fairly AU so it's a bit different than what we know of cannon BH 90210.

E – Everything and Entrancing

They are dancing under the stars, everything is beautiful. It should be perfect. In her dreams, she dances just like this with Him, her fingers splayed across his strong chest, his hands lightly settled on her hips, the wind tracing circles through her long hair and the feel of him pressed against her is like no other. But she can only dream it now because he is gone. She is dancing in another's arms and he may be handsome and debonair but his eyes aren't Brandon's blue ones and his hair isn't Brandon's dark brown and his hands don't entrance her the way Brandon's did when they would touch her, move inside her and fill her up. They have been dating for three months and it feels like the longest three months of her life. She thinks she could be in love with him - if he were just Brandon Walsh but no one else is. He's one of a kind. It took years for her to realize what a gem he was and just seconds to lose him forever. She hates it, she hates herself. She wants it all back. She wants to do everything differently, love him harder and never let go.

She is lost in humming along to Liz Phair's "Why Can't I?" to distract herself from this intimate moment she's not sharing with the right man when suddenly she looks up, her eyes pulled forward almost by some invisible force and she sees Him standing there, watching her from the corner of the makeshift dance floor.

"Brandon," she says. It's just one word but it carries so much emotion with it - love, longing, anger, pain, pathos and then hope ...

"Brandon," she says again, this time louder and disentangles herself from her date's arms and takes after him as he turns and moves away.

F - Faith

"Brandon."

His name comes out sounding a tad harsh but also breathless and even a bit hopeful. She has managed to catch up with him at the very end of the dirt-covered driveway as he is about to get into his little convertible and drive off and leave her again. This time she won't let him. She at least wants to have her say. After all the months of waiting, wondering and worrying she deserves that much, doesn't she?

He turns around and looks at her, the blue of his eyes haunting and glassy-sheened under the bright twinkling stars overhead. He looks away for a moment and then back at her. "Hey, Kel."

"'Hey, Kel'?" She echoes. "You've been gone for months and months and that's all you have to say?"

"What the hell else is I'm supposed to say?"

"How about 'I've missed you' or 'I am a fucking selfish jerk for running off on you, Kel'!"

He sighs. "Can we not do this here?"

"Is there a better place?" She asks, wanting to rail at him, slap him senseless, and kiss him breathless all at the same time.

"Yeah. Anywhere but here ..."

"Why because you're scared everyone will see what a jerk you are?" She waves her arms to encompass the whole party just beyond the gate and the few people who are watching them with obvious interest from the porch.

"No. I just don't think it's the right place. Have a little faith in me okay?"

She sputters a bit. Have faith in him? After he turned around and ran out on her, not calling or writing for months? Leaving her to wonder if he had been hurt or worse?

She should spit in her face and walk away like he did. But she doesn't and she hates herself even as she slips her hand into his waiting one and they climb into his car and speed off into the night.

G-Greatest

He looks over at her for perhaps a moment too long as they drive through the cool night but he's trying to memorize her, make sure she's really there and not another figment of his imagination. She looks as beautiful as she ever did with her blonde hair flying loose and free in the wind and her deep blue eyes glistening with a sheen of tears. He never wanted to make her cry, never wanted to her to feel pain or loss. To think he's the cause of it makes him more than a bit angry at himself and leaves a hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach. Still, he's so glad to see her. Picturing her in his mind for months is nothing like the reality of seeing her here, sitting beside him with her hand so close to his that he could reach out and intertwine their fingers, lock them together forever and never let go. He's had a lot of women in his life but she was the only one he could imagine being with forever, the greatest love of his life, the one who captivated his heart and soul completely seemingly centuries ago, rather than just a few years ago.

He has wasted too much time going back and forth with her, back and forth, running in circles, trying to deny his feelings. Feeling inadequate because he's not Dylan and he never will be. Knowing Dylan's the great love of her life, it breaks his heart. He doesn't know why he took up with Emily again after all she pulled in high school – maybe to punish Kelly, maybe to make her jealous, maybe just wanting to be self-destructive and petty and senseless just one time, to know how it felt to be Dylan McKay, walk around a bit in his shoes, but it didn't work. It had the opposite effect. While Dylan's love me, kiss me, save me, fuck me routine worked for him, Brandon's didn't and never had. Eventually he was going to have to learn to be comfortable in his own skin again. But it was so difficult because all he wanted to be was the guy Kelly Taylor wanted and needed most and he's not sure he ever will be.

H - Heal

She had come with him for some reason and she thought she wanted to see it through to the bitter end, hear what he had to say, listen to what excuses he could come up with to explain his uncharacteristic behavior. She didn't think it would make a difference though. They had reached the point of no return and the healing was slow in coming, if it ever arrived at all …

He parked his convertible in front of West Beverly High, the halls they had once haunted, where they had walked together and apart seemingly so long ago. "What are we doing here?" she asked.

"Just come on," he beckoned.

She reluctantly followed him and they walked onto the school grounds. So many memories assaulted her and all of them she felt like she could trace back to Brandon. They hadn't discovered their mutual feelings until long after they graduated high school and had gone on to college but Kelly had nurtured a crush on him when he first arrived in California. It hadn't been rooted in reality, had been just a flight of fancy, until the first time they kissed and she knew - knew she wanted him in her life forever.

She continued to follow him and watched as he took a pin from his pocket and jimmied the lock on the gymnasium door. She shook her head. "You've discovered new talents, Walsh," she said, her voice tinged with anger and disbelief. "I don't know you anymore. I thought I did but …"

She turned to leave, so disgusted with him and hating herself even more for still caring when he grabbed her hand and pulled her back. "Don't leave. Not when there's so much we need to say to each other."

He looked down at his feet for a moment before turning and staring intently into her eyes. "I don't want to let you go, Kel. I really don't. I never could. Believe me, I tried. I ran so far and so fast but I could never get away from my feelings for you."

Tears moistened her eyes. "Why would you want to run away from me?"

"Because I was scared, Kel. Scared that I would have sold my soul to the devil for another chance to be with you, for a chance to have you look at me the way you looked at Dylan."

"You're not Dylan, Brandon."

"I know, and I never will be," he said bitterly.

"But you don't get it. I don't want Dylan. Not anymore. Maybe I never really did … You were the one I wanted from the beginning; you'll be the one I want till the bitter end … but I just don't think we can go back now."

"Maybe we can go forward then… "

TBC