Setting: Season 5 AU; read the first chapter and you'll find out the diffs.
Also, I am not following the 'AtS' season timeline, so I can bring back
Angelus whenever I please. So there.
Disclaimers: Joss is a much, much better writer than I; ergo, he is not me. Err . . . I am not him. Um . . . I don't own this. Yeah, that's it.
Rating: R later, PG-13 for now. Sorry for the abrupt rating change, but I figured this fic won't be R-rated for some time to come.
Author's Note: Yay on feedback! One review makes all the difference to me, so here's some more of that fiction stuff. Hope you enjoy.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
"Are you sure we should be doing this?"
"Of course. What could go wrong?"
Willow tugged down the sleeves of her sweater nervously, as if covering her hands would keep the rest of her safe. She chewed on her lower lip in worry, then glanced over at her companion, wondering to say that could change his mind about the precarious situation they were getting themselves into.
"This whole situation stinks of wrong, Xander!" she squeaked out, "There's the wrong-ness of being bitten, and the wrong-ness of being turned, and . . . oh! There's always those little fun demons that hang around in cemeteries and, you know, -eat people-."
Xander sighed, shoving his hands in the pockets of his oversized pants. "It's going to be fine, Wills. You're not going to be turned into some kind of demon mystery meat. Scout's honor."
Willow frowned, thinking. "Xander, you were never a Boy Scout."
"Fine, then; on Aquaman's honor."
The Wiccan smiled slightly, extending one slender finger out towards her friend. "Pinky swear."
He took one digit off of the stake he was holding and brought it out, wrapping it around her's. "I pinky swear on Aquaman's honor."
A snorting chuckle brought them both to attention, and they spun around quickly to see a very amused vampire standing behind them.
"Now *that* was lame," he said, "Aquaman's honor? You always were a loser, Harris."
"Harris?" Willow questioned. Turning to Xander, she whispered: "How does he know your name?"
"We went to school together," the vampire explained, "Don't look so shocked. I'm evil, of course I'm going to listen in on your conversation." He turned to Xander. "And, to your credit, that was very amusing, the superhero thing. Haven't seen something so pathetically funny since I was turned."
Xander's face turned beet red in anger and humiliation. "You know what's really pathetic?" he shot back, "The fact that high school ended two years ago and you're *still* wearing your varsity jacket. Which, by the way, smells a little moldy . . . but, being dead and all, I guess you haven't really noticed. Bad smells kinda come with the territory."
The vampire glared at him. "Hey, I was buried in this, man. It has sentimental value. I guess you're just pissed that the chess team didn't give out anything this cool, right?"
Xander nodded his head emphatically. "Yeah, that must be it." He pretended to check his watch and yawned for added affect. "Hey, you're a 'big bad vampire'. Shouldn't you be attacking us right about now?"
Willow, who had been silently observing the conversation, shoved her friend hard in the side. "Xander!" she said, "You promised that nothing bad would happen! Remember? Mystery meat, Aquaman's honor - did all of that mean nothing to you?! Just in case you forgot: dying tonight wasn't on my 'to do' list!"
"Don't worry, Wills, I've got everything under control," he said under his breath, wrapping his fingers tightly around the stake in his palm and circling his foe.
"Control?!" she shrieked, removing her own stake from her coat pocket, "you call one stake control? We're not Slayers, you know! You may be able to quip, but that doesn't mean that you can kick undead booty at the same time. That's Buffy's terrain."
Xander sighed, exasperated at her lack of faith in him. "Everything's fine; we've staked vamps before, we can do it again. I think I've got the rythm down: kick, punch, say something witty, stake in heart, party at the Bronze. Simple."
"Are we going to do this, or what?" the vampire asked, "All this talking has worked up my appetite." He turned to Willow, grinning wide. "I think I'll start with the little girl."
Xander stood in front of her, his face grim and determined. "You gotta get through me first."
"I was hoping you'd say that."
The vampire lunged at him, fangs bared, ready to strike. Xander waited for him to get close enough before thrusting his fist out and landing a hard uppercut to the vamp's face, sending the demon reeling backwards. He shook the blow off, wiping off a small trickle of blood dripping from his nose. Growling, the vampire rushed him again, kicking Xander in the knee and sending him sprawling to the ground. Smiling, he bent over him, ready to bite down into his tender flesh. Willow, who had been watching the fight and waiting for an opportune moment, picked a large rock up from the ground and slammed it into the back of the vampire's skull, wincing at the sharp, cracking noise it made.
"Getting my friends killed wasn't on my list either!" she said angrily.
The demon spun around, woozy, and Willow slammed the stake into his chest, hoping that she would get lucky and would hit the right spot. The vampire froze for a second, staring at the wooden pole that was impaling him, before he exploded into ash.
"Yay me!" Willow cheered, "How's that for 'little girl', you not so big bad creature of the night!"
Xander groaned and she dropped to her knees, worry creasing her brow. "Xander! Are you all right?"
"I'm fine," he said, sitting up and wincing at the pain radiating from his knee, "Did we win?"
"We won big time!" she said, the jubilation returning to her voice, "I knocked him over the head with a rock and then jabbed him a good one! He was all 'poof' and "Oh, no, I underestimated the girl!" which, hello, people are always doing. I mean, just become I look innocent doesn't mean I am." She got to her feet and offered Xander a hand.
"No one expects the Wicca-practicing red headed Jewish girl!" he said, rubbing his sore leg. "You did good, Wills. Score one for the white hats."
"I couldn't have done it without your help, you know," she said, "Without your distraction, I would never have been able to sneak up on him like that!"
"Like Lois Lane to your Superman . . . without the breasts."
"I feel . . . rejuvinated!" Willow said, ignoring his comment, "I feel on top of the world, like I could do anything, like I could stake anything! Vampires beware," she said, posing in a silly fighting stance, "A new 'slayer's' in town!"
"Hey guys, what's up?"
Willow shrieked and spun around, pointing her stake at her opponent. Buffy's eyes widened and she put her hands up in a gesture of surrender, bemused. When Willow realized who it was, she dropped the weapon to her side, panting heavily.
"God, don't do that!"
Buffy dropped her hands back down, confused. "Don't do what? Say hello? Sorry for doing the convential greeting thing-y; I was trying to think up something more clever like: 'How're things in the cemetery? Dead quiet?' but that seemed too lame. So I settled for the usual."
"No," Willow stammered, shaken, "It's . . . there was this vampire. He attacked us, all fangs and evil. We staked him but I'm still kinda edgy."
"*We* didn't stake him, Wills," Xander said, "*you* staked him. I just laid on the railroad tracks and waited for you to save me."
Willow turned to Buffy. "He helped," she whispered.
The Slayer looked at the two of them, surprise and worry written on her face. "Are you all right? Nothing broken? Dislocated? Torn or bitten?"
"I don't think so," Willow answered, "Not that I know of. I guess he could have bit me when I wasn't looking, with the vampiric speed and stuff, but it's unlikely."
"Good, because I'm tired and really didn't want to have to deal with driving anyone to the hospital. Or staking any vampires. Or moving at all."
"I can teach you how to patrol *and* not move at all at the same time," Xander said, smiling wryly, "It's a little something I call 'getting knocked on your ass'."
"I'm pretty sure I've already mastered that technique," Buffy joked, "Remember the broken leg thing? Not exactly my most stellar Slayer moment."
She began heading for the exit of the cemetery, her friends following close behind her. Sighing, she wiped her exhausted eyes, yawning. "What were you guys doing out here, anyway? I mean, it's not exactly Club Med."
"We were looking for you," Xander explained, "We figured you'd still be patrolling."
"We were bored," Willow chimed in, "There was nothing on TV . . . except for the usual trashy stuff. Jerry Springer."
"It was a rerun," Xander complained. On his friends' looks, he stammered: "Not that I watch that show. It's filth. Disgusting."
Buffy rolled her eyes, but then became serious, turning to Willow and Xander. "I know boredom sucks, but that doesn't mean you should go out and get yourselves killed."
Her friends looked down at the dirt, embarrassed at their own stupidity. Finally, Willow piped up.
"Buffy, when are you going to introduce us to your new boyfriend?"
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
TBC . . .
Disclaimers: Joss is a much, much better writer than I; ergo, he is not me. Err . . . I am not him. Um . . . I don't own this. Yeah, that's it.
Rating: R later, PG-13 for now. Sorry for the abrupt rating change, but I figured this fic won't be R-rated for some time to come.
Author's Note: Yay on feedback! One review makes all the difference to me, so here's some more of that fiction stuff. Hope you enjoy.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
"Are you sure we should be doing this?"
"Of course. What could go wrong?"
Willow tugged down the sleeves of her sweater nervously, as if covering her hands would keep the rest of her safe. She chewed on her lower lip in worry, then glanced over at her companion, wondering to say that could change his mind about the precarious situation they were getting themselves into.
"This whole situation stinks of wrong, Xander!" she squeaked out, "There's the wrong-ness of being bitten, and the wrong-ness of being turned, and . . . oh! There's always those little fun demons that hang around in cemeteries and, you know, -eat people-."
Xander sighed, shoving his hands in the pockets of his oversized pants. "It's going to be fine, Wills. You're not going to be turned into some kind of demon mystery meat. Scout's honor."
Willow frowned, thinking. "Xander, you were never a Boy Scout."
"Fine, then; on Aquaman's honor."
The Wiccan smiled slightly, extending one slender finger out towards her friend. "Pinky swear."
He took one digit off of the stake he was holding and brought it out, wrapping it around her's. "I pinky swear on Aquaman's honor."
A snorting chuckle brought them both to attention, and they spun around quickly to see a very amused vampire standing behind them.
"Now *that* was lame," he said, "Aquaman's honor? You always were a loser, Harris."
"Harris?" Willow questioned. Turning to Xander, she whispered: "How does he know your name?"
"We went to school together," the vampire explained, "Don't look so shocked. I'm evil, of course I'm going to listen in on your conversation." He turned to Xander. "And, to your credit, that was very amusing, the superhero thing. Haven't seen something so pathetically funny since I was turned."
Xander's face turned beet red in anger and humiliation. "You know what's really pathetic?" he shot back, "The fact that high school ended two years ago and you're *still* wearing your varsity jacket. Which, by the way, smells a little moldy . . . but, being dead and all, I guess you haven't really noticed. Bad smells kinda come with the territory."
The vampire glared at him. "Hey, I was buried in this, man. It has sentimental value. I guess you're just pissed that the chess team didn't give out anything this cool, right?"
Xander nodded his head emphatically. "Yeah, that must be it." He pretended to check his watch and yawned for added affect. "Hey, you're a 'big bad vampire'. Shouldn't you be attacking us right about now?"
Willow, who had been silently observing the conversation, shoved her friend hard in the side. "Xander!" she said, "You promised that nothing bad would happen! Remember? Mystery meat, Aquaman's honor - did all of that mean nothing to you?! Just in case you forgot: dying tonight wasn't on my 'to do' list!"
"Don't worry, Wills, I've got everything under control," he said under his breath, wrapping his fingers tightly around the stake in his palm and circling his foe.
"Control?!" she shrieked, removing her own stake from her coat pocket, "you call one stake control? We're not Slayers, you know! You may be able to quip, but that doesn't mean that you can kick undead booty at the same time. That's Buffy's terrain."
Xander sighed, exasperated at her lack of faith in him. "Everything's fine; we've staked vamps before, we can do it again. I think I've got the rythm down: kick, punch, say something witty, stake in heart, party at the Bronze. Simple."
"Are we going to do this, or what?" the vampire asked, "All this talking has worked up my appetite." He turned to Willow, grinning wide. "I think I'll start with the little girl."
Xander stood in front of her, his face grim and determined. "You gotta get through me first."
"I was hoping you'd say that."
The vampire lunged at him, fangs bared, ready to strike. Xander waited for him to get close enough before thrusting his fist out and landing a hard uppercut to the vamp's face, sending the demon reeling backwards. He shook the blow off, wiping off a small trickle of blood dripping from his nose. Growling, the vampire rushed him again, kicking Xander in the knee and sending him sprawling to the ground. Smiling, he bent over him, ready to bite down into his tender flesh. Willow, who had been watching the fight and waiting for an opportune moment, picked a large rock up from the ground and slammed it into the back of the vampire's skull, wincing at the sharp, cracking noise it made.
"Getting my friends killed wasn't on my list either!" she said angrily.
The demon spun around, woozy, and Willow slammed the stake into his chest, hoping that she would get lucky and would hit the right spot. The vampire froze for a second, staring at the wooden pole that was impaling him, before he exploded into ash.
"Yay me!" Willow cheered, "How's that for 'little girl', you not so big bad creature of the night!"
Xander groaned and she dropped to her knees, worry creasing her brow. "Xander! Are you all right?"
"I'm fine," he said, sitting up and wincing at the pain radiating from his knee, "Did we win?"
"We won big time!" she said, the jubilation returning to her voice, "I knocked him over the head with a rock and then jabbed him a good one! He was all 'poof' and "Oh, no, I underestimated the girl!" which, hello, people are always doing. I mean, just become I look innocent doesn't mean I am." She got to her feet and offered Xander a hand.
"No one expects the Wicca-practicing red headed Jewish girl!" he said, rubbing his sore leg. "You did good, Wills. Score one for the white hats."
"I couldn't have done it without your help, you know," she said, "Without your distraction, I would never have been able to sneak up on him like that!"
"Like Lois Lane to your Superman . . . without the breasts."
"I feel . . . rejuvinated!" Willow said, ignoring his comment, "I feel on top of the world, like I could do anything, like I could stake anything! Vampires beware," she said, posing in a silly fighting stance, "A new 'slayer's' in town!"
"Hey guys, what's up?"
Willow shrieked and spun around, pointing her stake at her opponent. Buffy's eyes widened and she put her hands up in a gesture of surrender, bemused. When Willow realized who it was, she dropped the weapon to her side, panting heavily.
"God, don't do that!"
Buffy dropped her hands back down, confused. "Don't do what? Say hello? Sorry for doing the convential greeting thing-y; I was trying to think up something more clever like: 'How're things in the cemetery? Dead quiet?' but that seemed too lame. So I settled for the usual."
"No," Willow stammered, shaken, "It's . . . there was this vampire. He attacked us, all fangs and evil. We staked him but I'm still kinda edgy."
"*We* didn't stake him, Wills," Xander said, "*you* staked him. I just laid on the railroad tracks and waited for you to save me."
Willow turned to Buffy. "He helped," she whispered.
The Slayer looked at the two of them, surprise and worry written on her face. "Are you all right? Nothing broken? Dislocated? Torn or bitten?"
"I don't think so," Willow answered, "Not that I know of. I guess he could have bit me when I wasn't looking, with the vampiric speed and stuff, but it's unlikely."
"Good, because I'm tired and really didn't want to have to deal with driving anyone to the hospital. Or staking any vampires. Or moving at all."
"I can teach you how to patrol *and* not move at all at the same time," Xander said, smiling wryly, "It's a little something I call 'getting knocked on your ass'."
"I'm pretty sure I've already mastered that technique," Buffy joked, "Remember the broken leg thing? Not exactly my most stellar Slayer moment."
She began heading for the exit of the cemetery, her friends following close behind her. Sighing, she wiped her exhausted eyes, yawning. "What were you guys doing out here, anyway? I mean, it's not exactly Club Med."
"We were looking for you," Xander explained, "We figured you'd still be patrolling."
"We were bored," Willow chimed in, "There was nothing on TV . . . except for the usual trashy stuff. Jerry Springer."
"It was a rerun," Xander complained. On his friends' looks, he stammered: "Not that I watch that show. It's filth. Disgusting."
Buffy rolled her eyes, but then became serious, turning to Willow and Xander. "I know boredom sucks, but that doesn't mean you should go out and get yourselves killed."
Her friends looked down at the dirt, embarrassed at their own stupidity. Finally, Willow piped up.
"Buffy, when are you going to introduce us to your new boyfriend?"
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
TBC . . .