Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Author's notes: I doubt anyone will read this, but this chapter is about good ol' Lucy teaching Harry dark stuff. But mostly fluff, really

"Alright kid," Lucy said, "Since the Dark Art's require you to be calm and focused, we're going to do a little exercise."

Harry nodded.

"Okay then, do the macarena."

Harry stared at him.

"What? It's not that hard. Look, just follow what I do." Lucy then screamed, "EEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY MACARENA!" as he did the macarena at 2 times the speed and grinned demonically. Mind you, this was at Privet Drive, so when people looked out of their windows, all they saw was a handsome (yes, he's handsome. the whole part about being a bad guy is that you can seduce people) punk teenager doing weird things as a small kid stared at him.

"Come on kid!" And with that, Harry reluctantly followed.

Surprisingly enough, it was kind of fun.

"Alright, kid, first we are going to learn how to learn how to raise the dead," Lucy announced.

"What?!"

"Chill, bro," Lucy rolled his eyes, "It's easier than you think. All you have to do is-"

"Can I get my parents back?" Harry asked, his eyes wide with hope. Lucy shrugged.

"I don't know kid. It's easier to raise the dead if the soul is in Hell or Purgatory. Your parents are probably in Heaven, where God is watching over them, and making sure they don't come back to life like zombies."

"Well, at least they're in a good place," Harry sighed. Lucy hesitated, then awkwardly petted his head.

"Don't worry, kid, they're watching over you," he winced at that rather cheesy statement. Luckily, Harry didn't notice. "Besides, I'm here!"

"Yeah!" Harry lit up.

"Now, to raise the dead..."

"Hey, kid! Ever considered getting a pet?" Lucy asked, his hands behind his back. Harry hesitated.

"Well, I would like one, but my uncle wouldn't let me..." he trailed off sadly.

"Do you want a hellhound?" Lucy brought his hands in front of him, offering a wicker basket with a small black puppy sleeping with a pink blanket. "They're technically more on the spirit side, so they can be invisible at will, so you don't have to worry about you relatives finding out. They don't need food, because again, they're technically spirits, and don't need cleaning up after. They make great guards, and they are great companions."

Harry's eyes widened in disbelief. "Can I really?"

"Yeah. This fella is a bit of a runt, so she might be smaller than the average hellhound. Besides, you're going to need a friend besides me when I'm away."

Harry smiled, his eyes started to glisten. "Thanks, this is the first time someone has ever gave me something," he wrapped himself around Lucy, "Thank you!"

"Hey now! Be careful with the puppy," Lucy scolded, but returned the hug anyway. "I gotta go. Business in Hell and such. Take care of her!" Lucy opened the road, making a fiery ravine, then jumped into it, the road closing itself after him.

Harry waved. "BYE!"

*later in Hell*

"Oh fuck am I spoiling him?"

"I don't know, sir, but I think having a friend is good for you."

"Yeah. Besides, he's a good kid."

Silence followed.

"Maybe I should make him the heir to Hell."

"How about NO."