Chapter 2: The babysitting continues

Stepping out of that carriage was the highlight of my year.

I considered making sure Miss Bingley observed my over the top wheezing and spluttering just to make a point, but decided against it, reminding myself that I need to spread out my sourced of amusement or it would run dry too quickly.

The building we stood before was pretty enough, but Miss Bingley had already started her sour lament. If she thinks this abysmal, I'd hate to see whichever hole she crawled out of before convincing the Bingley's to take her in.

Charles was already half way up the steps by the time I had finished imagining tearing out Caroline's piggy eyes and feeding them to her. I glanced sideways to Darcy to see that he had already put on his antisocial grumpy old man mask. Sighing I steeled myself or the onslaught I was about to put myself through.

Stepping through the door way into the main assembly hall, I noticed that a hush had fallen, and all eyes were trained on the gentlemen who had entered the hall before me. The women who I presume have daughters of a marriageable age were whispering amongst themselves, probably deciding which of their daughters gets who. Yeah no, I decide who they marry.

Sir William Lucas was already acquainted with Charles and immediately introduced us to a large family of five daughters. Why five? I mean, my parents could barely handle two girls. The eldest girl was a classic beauty, blonde hair and blue eyes. Here we go again, I thought as Charles' smile widened and his eyes locked onto her face. I'll admit that she didn't seem as shrew like as the past girls, but I still had my reservations.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw William looking at the younger sister. Elissa or something like that, I wasn't paying much attention.

"Finally," I murmured.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He questioned trying to keep the guilty look from his face.

Like seriously, I've been trying to find him a wife for the past five years, and we finally find a woman that he looks at twice, and he's not even going to fucking try. I need a drink.

Looking up from the refreshment table, I realised that as well as Fitzwilliam coming to stand beside me that Charles was already dancing with Miss Bennet.

"Are you going to talk to that dark-haired girl or not?"

"I don't know what your talking about."

"Okay."

"What, no argument?" He questioned with his brow furrowed.

"I'm not going to argue with you about it. Just promise me you won't leave it too late."

"What is it will you and promises today?"

"Your a man of your word, so I know I can bring these things up later as bribes."

He shook his head with a small smile and slipped his mask back into place. Before he could say anything else, I spotted Charlotte Luca and Elizabeth (remembered her name) Bennet were making there way over and made sure to catch their eye. "Okay their coming over, so in the wise words of my late grandfather, put your hand up your ass and pull yourself together," I murmured.

They were both nice girls who were good to talk to after the only female company you've had all day are Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst. William was standing a little behind with seemingly very little to say.

"Do you dance Mr Darcy?" Miss Elizabeth asked.

"Not if I can help it," he said with a clipped tone of voice. The conversation came to a stand still as both women I'd not really know what to say to that and I don't blame them.

"Excuse us ladies," I said, desperately trying to salvage something from this shit show. I pulled him away from the small group making sure that my nails dug into his arm. Once we'd made it to an empty corner I demanded, "What the actual fuck was that?"

"Watch your language."

"Watch your manners."

"I did nothing wrong, all I did was answer the question."

"I'm sorry, have you ever spoken to a woman?" As he opened his mouth I said, "Georgiana and I don't count. We know how to see beneath the dick attitude and work out what you mean."

"I don't have a dick attitude," he muttered under his breath. I huffed and left him there to go and find Miss Lucas and Miss Elizabeth in an effort to not be seen in the same abysmal light as my anti-social friend.

"Sorry about that," I apologised. "He's not a people person."

The conversation started up where it had been left and we were soon joined by Miss Bennet, who I found was friendly and very similar to Charles, if a bit quiet. I suddenly remembered that I was babysitting two children not just one. I saw Charles with William a few metres away from where we were standing. I excused myself from the ladies and went to join them.

Charles was once again, trying to convince our friend to dance. When Mr Bingley suggested Elizabeth, he glanced in her general direction before proclaiming, "she is tolerable; but no handsome enough to tempt me."

The quiet gasp I heard behind me, confirmed that Miss Elizabeth had heard the comment and we were all now balls deep in horse shit.

"Can you not just keep your opinions to yourself for once?" I fumed and stormed out to bring the carriage round. I was not going to stay here and let William insult anymore women, for no reason but the fact that he was in a bad mood.

"I don't understand why you're so angry with me. It's not like we're going to see her once we leave this god-forsaken county," he argued following me into the road.

I scoffed and said, "you're sounding like Caroline now."

"It still doesn't matter."

By this time, I'm pretty pissed off. Like I'm fucking fuming at this point, and this man is not helping. "Go and get Charles, we're leaving."

Caroline's perfume didn't even bother me on the carriage ride back to the manor. On our arrival I went straight to bed, not even turning to answer Charles when he asked if I wanted tea before bed.

Of course he decides to insult her. It's not her fault he's sexually frustrated and refuses to take my advice and visit a brothel. I mean, I know some very discrete and well-bred prostitutes. Well as well-bred as a prostitute can be.

But no, he's to righteous and all that shit.