Leah's Story
Chapter Two
The memory of that day sent it's usual whiplash of first pain, then anger and then, finally, absolute numbness through my body as I once again forced myself to accept the grim fate handed me by the bloodsuckers. It all washed through me in a matter of minutes and I was somewhat disappointed when the numb feeling faded and left me only the bitterness to sit in my stomach like a rock. Life just sucked! And I was always left virtually alone to face it's terrors.
I was watching the strange trial of the bloodsuckers without interest, contemplating my pain and loneliness, when I suddenly imagined myself on a very lonely and long road. It was only a flash, but it felt very real to me. When I woke from my short and strange day dream, I slowly realized that I could not hear a single thought coming from any one of the other 16 wolfs in my pack. At first I was annoyed because I thought the rest of the pack was so intent on the vermin, that they literally had no other thoughts of any kind. When I realized that I couldn't sense there emotions either however, I became a little panicked that maybe my revelries had chased them further away and that they shut me out of there minds completely somehow. I had only been a wear wolf for a few months, but even I knew that that wasn't possible at all, believe me, I've been desperately trying to do it since day one. So I was genuinely perplexed and amazed when I felt Seth's nose poke my side as he tried to get my attention.
Seth looked at me with deep concern in his eyes and looked like he really wanted to tell me something. I tried to listen to his thoughts, but I couldn't seem to hear him over the despair in my heart. It took me several minutes of listening, really listening, before I could start to hear his thoughts softly, like a whisper in the back of my mind. Once I concentrated on the soft quiet thoughts Seth was sending me, it was like a dam bursting in my head. A flood of noise and confusion slammed in my brain like a freight train and I was overwhelmed as all sixteen wolfs in the pack yelled my name at me like I was a deaf mute.
"Shut up and pay attention!" Sam's alpha voice cracked through everyone else's like a bolt of lightning through a tree trunk. "The head leech of the Volturi bloodsuckers is about to send all his vermin at us and none of you are paying the slightest bit attention! We can figure out how Leah was able to hide her thoughts from us after we kill the enemy!" As everyone grumbled apologies and took up attack formations again, Sam's eye's bored into mine and I could feel his silent frustration with me. As if it were my fault! I certainly didn't know how I did it.
"Are you okay, sis? I thought you were brain dead there for a while." Seth's tone was mocking, but I could feel the true concern in his words. "I mean, what happened? One minute, you were driving us all crazy thinking about how much you hated Bella and how much you missed Sam and the usual sort of drivel, then we couldn't hear a single thought. It was like someone just shut your brain off like a switch."
'Believe me." I replied with as much sarcasm as I could muster. "If I knew how to keep nosey little brothers out of my mind, I would have done it a long time ago. Maybe, I was just thinking thoughts so intelligent that none of you Neanderthals could understand them. So your tiny little brains shut me out because you didn't think thoughts as smart as mine were worth hearing, did you think of that dumb dumb?" I was trying to make him feel better and throw him off the subject, but he refused to be averted.
"Your thoughts are never worth hearing, it's always the same depressing crap over and over again. And besides, NOBODY has ever just disappeared from the pack mind no matter how intelligent or, in your case, insignificant the thought's are." I could feel his self congratulations at the jib. "I just want to know how you do it! Please?" He sounded so curious and sincere, it was hard for me to disappoint him when he acted this way. But the truth was, I had no idea either.
"Look, don't strain your brain trying to figure it out. I'll explain it to you when you're smart enough to understand it… Like that will ever happen." I put my best 'I'm-the-older-sister-and-your-the-dumb-little-brother-so-just-drop-it-and-leave-it-cause-I-said-so' tone into my voice. But, of course, he wasn't having any of it again.
"I bet you don't even know, is that why you won't tell me?" He sounded determined and I could tell that nothing but the absolute truth would shut him up.
"Look, why don't you just read my mind and figure it out for yourself?" That was weird, now that I thought of it, this whole conversation seemed pointless when he could have easily just read my thoughts and know exactly as much as I did about the subject. In fact, there should have been no way he could have avoided reading my thoughts… Everything is open to everyone in a pack mind.
"I can't! Don't you think I've been trying?!" He sounded exasperated. "Every time I try to read that part of you, your mind and thoughts get all fuzzy. It's like trying to look though murky dirty glass. Did Bella teach you how to shield your mind or something?" He sounded sulky like he thought his friends were teaching me secrets and leaving him in the dark.
"Look, do you think that I would ask Bella for anything?! I'm the last person on this planet that Isabella Swan would ever teach anything to. I wouldn't care if she wanted to show me how to make gold out of shoe leather! I would refuse to learn from her just on principal, for what she's done to me! I don't know why you can't read my thoughts very well anymore, okay! OKAY?!" There, I let the cat out of the bag and had to admit my ignorance to get him to drop the subject, but it was immediately worth it when I felt his relief that he wasn't being left out of anything in his new circle of friends. "Now will you please, PLEASE, just get back to what were all supposed to be doing and pay attention to the coming fight?"
"Sure sis, whatever you say." he sounded like I had slapped him as he turned his now sagged, for a wolf anyway, shoulders away from me. "Just don't block me out again please, I was worried about you is all."
His tone pulled at my deeply hidden sisterly emotions and suddenly I was in a panic at the thought of losing him too. This up coming fight wouldn't just put my life if jeopardy, which was fine by me, it could get my brother killed! The thought of having one of my last loving relationships taken away by that selfish Bella and her bloodsucking family of freaks immediately put me back into my state of deep depression. The rock of bitterness, which had dissolved during my banter with Seth, settled back in my stomach now heavier than ever.
I couldn't help but to imagine myself even more alone and empty than I was already. Absolutely devoid of any meaningful relationships. I could see myself walking on that long long road, this time with people waving at me from either side. There was Sam, his pack and the rest of the LaPush citizens on one side and then there was Seth, Jacob and the leeches on the other. They were calling my name and speaking to me, but I couldn't hear a single word or understand a single gesture.
I don't know how long I was on the lonely road in my mind before I began to smell the most delicious thing that I have ever smelled in my entire life, and it was coming from the end of the road. It smelled like every good scent that my nose had ever detected, it pulled at me like nothing I have ever felt before. The desperate need and drive to find the source of the amazing smell was intoxicating. The rock in my stomach now forgotten, I began to race down the road toward the scent. Every time my feet touched the ground during my mad rush to the source, it sounded like a strong heart beat. The rhythm lifted my spirits and made me forget all my pain and sadness, it drove me to run faster and faster!
I was running full sprint toward the source of smell, my spirits truly lifted for the first time sense Sam left me. Then Seth stepped off from the side of the road, right into my path. Feet spread wide, he slapped his still boyish hands down on my nose. The slap was hard enough to knock me to the ground. The world spun around me and the next thing I knew, I was back in the tree line staring into the accusing eyes of my little wolf brother. It was a moment before I realized that my head had gone absolutely quiet again and this time I think I was starting to understand why. I concentrated on my little brother, willing myself to become a part of his mind again. This time it worked much more quickly than it did only a few minutes ago.
"YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE DIDN'T YOU!" Seth sounded really hurt now. "I asked you not to block me out because I was worried about you and the first thing you do is knock me out of your head like I was some kind of trespasser! Well fine! Go ahead and hide everything! It's better than listening to you mope around…." I couldn't take him being mad at me, it hurt too much.
"Seth, please! I'm sorry I did that to you! I didn't mean to, I swear!" My nerves were on edge and I was cracking up. What was that strange road? Was it something to do with my being able to block out the pack? And What, WHAT is that amazing smell? I could still smell it faintly in the air, pulling me from the tree line towards the ranks of blood suckers. It took every once of will power I had to remain where I was, to not go bounding toward it like a toddler to it's mother. It was everything that was good in the world. "Seth, where is that smell coming from?"
Taken back by my sudden change in subject, Seth took a couple of big whiffs. "What smell? I don't smell anything out of the ordinary." He reported slightly confused. "just the usual vampire and wear wolf. Why?"
"You don't smell that?!" How could he not? It was the most amazing smell that he would ever get to smell and he was missing it. For some reason, it really irritated me. "Sniff harder!"
"Look! I'm telling you there isn't anything different! Your losing it! Your going loony! Maybe we should commit you when this thing is over with!" He was at his limit for patience with me. "look, just concentrate on the fight and we'll talk later, okay?"
"Fine!" I replied headedly. "Pretend you don't smell it!" I knew I could smell it and that was the important thing anyway.
As the minutes passed and the bloodsuckers went on and on, back and forth with words like a fourth grade shoving match, the smell kept getting stronger. Like it was coming closer. I was nowhere near the road in my head now, I had rapt attention for the field of potential battle, searching for the source of the amazing scent. All my sense's were strained to there limit, when suddenly I became aware of not just the heart beats from the pack and the half leech, but from another source coming from where the smell seemed to originate. It was the same beat from my road dream, strong and fast and it was just as intoxicating as the smell. My spirits soured as it got closer as well. It became the focus of every single piece of me. I felt like I had been listening and waiting for that sound all my life and it was finally within my grasp. The minutes dragged by and finally the heartbeat and the smell stopped within the tree line on just the other side of the clearing.
"Alice, why don't you come out and join us won't you?" The head bloodsucker asked in a tone that sounded strangely like he had won something. I was staring at the spot that the heart beat would emerge, all my senses straining to see who it belonged to. When the beautiful face of Nahuel came into view, two things happened. One: Everything in my life instantly revolved completely around him and Two: my heart finally gave way completely and I passed out.