*Here's our next origin, which I'm uploading in parts because it's so friggin' long. I honestly couldn't write a drabble even if I tried. For some reason, all my stories end up with a PLOT. A LONG PLOT! I'm gonna try and make sure the rest don't end up as long as "Undesired" and this monstrosity! Really, I'll at least try to trim it down a little. Oh my God, you don't even know. I'm like, "Hey, I've mapped this one out. I bet I can make it WAY shorter than 'Undesired'!" Yeah, not so much. In fact, I think this might be about three times as long. Ugh. If quantity reigned over quality, I'd be the One True Queen of Fanfiction…again, not so much. Well, the funny thing about this origin is that it was the first I ever thought of. I'm figuring that the obscene length has something to do with the amount of time I've been mulling it over. The more time an idea has to "stew", the more convoluted it becomes! Well, that's my theory anyway. So, without further ado, I present to you origin number two. I really hope you enjoy it because I had a lot of fun writing it!
P.S.
I was surprised to find out that "blackleg" is actually a word, and it doesn't mean what you might think…Yeah, I looked it up in the dictionary. It's a symptom of Anthrax and a disease of plants. Does anyone else find that hilarious? It's also a synonym for swindler and scab (as in a person who continues to work when the union is striking). I was also curious about "redleg" and discovered that it was a term that referred to secret agents in the U.S. Civil War, and can also mean "a poor, white person." Seriously. Is anyone else finding this hilarious? No? Just me? Oh well.
Notes:
-Towards the middle, I start using page breaks to make p.o.v. shifts less confusing (read: so that I don't have to write well).
-There's a pairing in this one. ZoLu. It's not subtle, but nothing remotely sexual happens.
-I don't know for sure, but after Enies Lobby, Robin refers to all the strawhats by their names, right?
-I kind of treat Haki like Chi in this…let me know if that seems weird or inaccurate.
-Any medical jargon you may notice is straight from my crappy textbooks…okay and in one case, JimmyNeutron. Sorry for any inaccuracies!
IMPORTANT: I started writing this during the Punk Hazard arc, which is why this takes place just after Fishman Island. So, I decided to pretend that everything happening in the manga is set in a different universe than this. Let's just say that this deviates completely from the manga after Fishman Island. Yes, exactly like Fullmetal Alchemist. That is exactly what is happening right now (For those of you who never saw the original FMA anime, boy do I have some stories to tell you. If you want to hear them that is). As for Vegapunk's personality…I decided to go for cruel, sadistic mad scientist, though we really have no idea what he's actually like. There've been hints here and there that Vegapunk might be a decent human being, but with nothing concrete to go off of, I decided that stereotypical mad scientist would work just fine.
The Typo Disclaimer: I'm dno't ownn WonPeace. Lall crdeit ot Eicihior Dao.
Origin 2: Sigma
A cage. His own ragged breathing. Unbearable pain. White-hot agony. Drowning in his own blood and vomit. Crushing loneliness. A dark, dark place.
"Sigma."
Zoro snapped awake as he always did after this jumbled mess of a nightmare. It was always the same, being trapped in a lab and experimented on like a rat. He'd been having these dreams since he was sixteen, and now, five years later, they still plagued him.
He almost never had the dreams when he was first traveling with his nakama. Those two years he'd spent with Mihawk had made them worse. No, not because of Mihawk. It had all started with Kuma.
Vegapunk. Doctor Vegapunk.
As soon as Kuma mentioned that name, it had opened a hellish floodgate of nightmares that had him waking up in a cold sweat and left him confused and…dare he think it?
Scared.
Vegapunk. Why did this name haunt him so? Why would he have anything to do with the greatest scientific mind in the world?
Probably nothing. Both the New World and the nightmares were messing with his head.
Still, his mind reeled. There was no rest after these nightmares. Perhaps some fresh air would do him good.
Zoro walked through the men's cabin, smiling tiredly at his nakama's various murmurs in their sleep. Brook slept completely devoid of movement like the dead (Yohohoho! Skull joke!) Chopper giggled and shifted in his sleep (Zoro shook his head fondly and replaced the blanket over him), Usopp grinned big and proclaimed his victory over the man-eating dracaena (Zoro made a note to ask about that later), Franky's hair was randomly changing styles as he snored (bizarre), and Sanji was shivering. Zoro frowned, thinking that the other might be sick until he saw the look of sheer horror on the blonde's face as he mumbled, "No…please…not the…frilly, pink one…" (Zoro was so teasing him about that tomorrow!). Finally, he stopped by Luffy as the other shouted, "Gomu Gomu no…Pistol!" He wondered what his captain was fighting in his dreams, but since the other seemed to be enjoying it, Zoro resolved to simply tousle his hair and whisper, "Sweet dreams, Captain."
God how he'd missed this.
Zoro left the cabin and went on deck. He briefly wondered which of the girls was on watch and what the other was dreaming about. He walked over to the railings and took a seat on them. The railings were his designated "thinking spot." He would usually sit against them to meditate or nap or just get lost in thought. This was the first time he'd ever sat on top of them. Normally, the risk of falling over the edge due to the loud, ever-present clamor on the Sunny, (read: Luffy) kept him from trying. He'd fallen (been thrown) overboard enough times for one lifetime, thank you very much.
It was a nice night. Quiet. The sea was calm, reflecting a beautiful shade of blue that glittered in the moonlight. The breeze warmed him as he stared into the night sky, full of bright stars and constellations. The waxing moon gazed back at him, bathing him in its ethereal glow.
To anyone else, the scene would have been breathtaking, gorgeous; to Zoro, it was eerie, ominous.
Zoro gazed down at the clear blue water, watching the waves break against the hull methodically.
The blue of the waves became the glowing, unnatural blue of another injection. Coughing up blood. Struggling against restraints. Shambling monstrosities in tubes and cages all around. Fighting until all his bones broke. Faceless people nodding in appreciation of his pain.
"You must be punished, Sigma."
Pain like he'd never felt before. Nerves imploding, muscles wracked with spasms. Too much to scream. Fire in his veins. His chest was ready to burst, his lungs ripping apart. He bit his tongue until it bled as his nails screeched against the frigid tiled floor.
Kill him. End it. Just let him die. Please-
"Zoro?"
Zoro gasped, coming back to reality too quickly. He lost his balance only to be saved be a hand before it disappeared into a burst of sakura petals. Zoro collapsed back onto the deck, breathing heavily,
Robin knelt down beside him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." The swordsman nodded.
"No big deal," he assured, trying to sound nonchalant and failing miserably. He caught his breath.
For a while, they just sat together as Robin gave the green-haired man time to compose himself. They shifted positions so that they sat side-by-side against the railing.
"Is everything all right, Zoro?" the archeologist asked in a concerned tone. Zoro took a moment just to look at his companion. She was so much freer than she had been two years ago. She was healing well psychologically, and Zoro was happy for her. He had a lot of respect for Robin. Not many people could keep moving forward after living a life like hers. He never asked for the details about what happened in her past, but he could guess. And after everything they've been through, Zoro could truly say that he trusted her with everything, just as much as his other nakama.
Yeah, she was doing well all right.
He wished he could say the same for himself.
"I'm fine," he answered finally, lying through his teeth.
"It's not easy to startle you, so I was surprised," she continued. "You always seem to know who's beside you, even when your eyes are closed." Zoro sighed.
"It should be illegal for someone to be as observant as you." Robin had to smile at that.
"Well, as long as we're discussing how 'observant' I am, I'd like to note some things I've observed about you lately, Zoro." The swordsman raised an eyebrow, prompting her to continue.
"You're tired all the time, and yet you never seem to sleep. You haven't been eating much either. You always seem to be preoccupied with something, even when our nakama are being loud and enjoying themselves…and," she paused, gazing deeply into his steel gray eye, "there's a darkness in you that I've never seen before…and it worries me. Did something happen in these past two years, Zoro?" Zoro sighed, burying his face in his hands.
"No, nothing happened, and that's what's so weird about it. Something's wrong with me, Robin," he confessed. "Something's wrong with me, and I don't know what."
"Will you tell me about it?" she asked softly. Zoro let out another sigh, studying Robin's worried expression. He could trust her with all this, couldn't he? Robin knew how to keep a secret and gave the best advice of everyone on the ship.
"Don't tell the others. There's nothing they can do to help, which would drive them nuts…especially Luffy." He absentmindedly looked to the sky. That clear yet chilling sky. "Robin, I'm going crazy." Her sky blue eyes widened. She hadn't been expecting that, especially not with so much certainty. "I'm having nightmares, vivid nightmares about being experimented on in a lab. A lab I've never even been to before. I see so many faces and monsters and…I don't know. I just don't know. I swear I haven't seen any of it before, but…but it just feels so real. And it always hurts like hell. It…Robin, it even started happening while I'm awake. It happened just now before you called my name. I don't know what to do anymore." Robin would never have thought it possible for the unspoken first mate of the Mugiwara Kaizokudan to reach a breaking point until now.
"Zoro…"
"And that name just keeps coming back! It's been two years for fuck's sake!"
"What name?" Zoro was only half-listening.
"Vegapunk. Ever since Kuma first mentioned him…I can't get that name out of my head. And I can't help but feel it's all connected somehow."
"Vegapunk? The scientist?" Zoro nodded, his remaining eye absolutely frantic.
"And then there's that voice," he whispered harshly, shaking. "Always that voice."
"I-in your nightmares?" asked Robin, having trouble following Zoro's train of thought.
"It's the only thing that's ever really scared me—that voice…so cruel, and it always calls me by that same name. 'Sigma'."
"Sigma? As in ancient Greek?" Zoro looked up, confused. "Sigma is the eighteenth letter of the ancient Greek alphabet. I wasn't aware that you knew any of it." Zoro shook his head desperately.
"I really don't," he whispered, distraught. "I've never heard it used before, just in the dreams. How? How is that possible? What are these dreams? Why am I having them? What's wrong with me?!" Zoro was practically hyperventilating at this point.
"Zoro, you must calm down!" Zoro gripped his head in both hands.
"They seem more real than my actual memories! My time with Kuina and Sensei seem so fuzzy and there're so many gaps. I can't remember anything before I went to the dojo! I always thought that's just how memory worked, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe I've been wrong about everything. I can't—"
"Zoro," called Robin sharply, startling the swordsman out of his frenzied ramblings. She placed her hands on his shoulders. "Please, calm down, Zoro. Take a few deep breaths." Zoro did so, gazing at her pleadingly, and started to calm down. Robin could see terror hidden behind that intense steel eye. This was starting to tear the swordsman apart at the seams.
She squeezed his shoulders reassuringly. "Tell me more about your memories. You say you can't remember anything before the dojo. How old were you?" Zoro cradled his head in his hand.
"I don't know…eight…nine? Maybe a little younger?" That couldn't be. Robin knew for a fact that memory processing started around three years old, sometimes even earlier. Having eight or nine blank years just wasn't normal.
"What about your parents? Can you remember them?" Zoro's brow furrowed.
"I…I…I don't know! I'm sure I had parents, but I…I can't picture them. I can't remember anything about them!"
"Are there other gaps?"
"Tons of them," he uttered. "Everything at the dojo…there was Kuina, and Sensei…and Saga, but…oh god, there're are so many things I should know but I don't! I can't remember how many years I spent there. I can't remember any other kids that I trained with! Hell, I can barely remember daily life there at all! Things don't become really clear until I became a bounty hunter. Oh god, I thought this was normal. I always thought this was normal!" How could he have been so stupid?
He was shaking madly, but Robin's hand on his shoulder helped bring him down. "Were you ever in an accident that could cause such substantial memory loss?" Zoro shook his head. Even his memory of his promise to Kuina that had always seemed so clear now began to fade. He had never been so scared. "Zoro, try to think of something. Anything. Please, try. There's got to be a reason for this. There's got to be something…"
Zoro calmed himself down enough to close his eyes and concentrate. He focused, meditated, trying to sift through these muddled, jumbled "memories."
Oh god.
His vision went white, and he screamed. His head! Pain exploded behind his retinas, like his head was on fire. So much pain. Too much pain!
"Not good enough, Sigma? Do you want to be punished again?"So tired, like a rat in a cage. He just wanted to die. Why wouldn't they let him die?
"Zoro? Zoro? Zoro! Wake up! Please, snap out of it!"
Who was that? So dizzy, like there was a heavy fog in his head. His brain wouldn't seem to work. His eye slid open. Who was the beautiful woman staring at him? Why did she look so scared?
"Zoro, please! Please…wake up…"
It registered in his mind that she was talking to him. Zoro? Was he Zoro? Yes. That's right. And Robin. Robin was so frightened. Had he ever seen her so scared? He had to bring himself back. His memories seemed so far away from the waking world.
"Wha' happ'n'd?" he slurred.
"Zoro, thank god!" It took Zoro another few moments to remember why he was flat on his back on the ground, and why Robin was leaning over him.
Another dream. That pain. He'd fainted.
"Robin," he managed breathing heavily. "What's happening to me?" Having no real answer, Robin threw her arms around him. For once she had nothing to say, no insights to give, no advice, no way to help. So she held him, offering as much comfort as she could. Zoro fell asleep in her arms.
His dreams were indistinguishable. He could only see blurred figures and warped places. His brain was too dazed and addled to comprehend any of it. Such was a mercy on his exhausted consciousness.
Then…
"Sigma."
Zoro snapped awake. He was back in his bed. Robin must have brought him here after he fell asleep. God, he couldn't believe how he'd panicked. He must have really scared her. He just had to contain all these feelings lest he make his nakama fear for his sanity. Hell, he feared for his sanity. He sat up in bed, cradling his aching head.
Zoro had told Mihawk about the nightmares, not knowing whom else to turn to. Mihawk had told him that if the answer involved Vegapunk, it was best if Zoro never found out. Vegapunk had apparently done some extremely controversial and highly disturbing work. His mentor didn't know most of the details, but after his first and only visit to the lab, Mihawk had gone back to his ship and promptly vomited. Anything that could rattle Hawk-Eye Mihawk so profoundly was something Zoro wanted no part of.
"Ah! Zoro, you're awake!" The green-haired man was startled out of his thoughts as Chopper came padding over. The little doctor climbed on the bed and began taking Zoro's pulse.
"Uh…Chopper…explain?" Chopper overreacted a lot, but he normally didn't do examinations for no reason at all.
"Robin said you weren't feeling well last night and told us to let you sleep, but you slept all day! The sun's already setting! I'm checking for an infection." He'd have to thank Robin later. He had needed some uninterrupted sleep; not that it had helped much. He still felt like he hadn't slept a wink. Still, he had to smile at Chopper as he began checking his blood pressure. He had missed the reindeer's melodramatics.
"I'm all right, Chopper," he lied. "I just needed some sleep." Chopper nodded.
"Well, your vitals are normal, so you're probably right, but you still need to eat a well-balanced meal and drink plenty of fluids. Doctor's orders!" Zoro grinned.
"Yes sir, Doctor Chopper."
"Bastard! Calling me 'doctor' doesn't make me happy at all!" Some things never change, and for that, Zoro was glad.
Zoro left with Chopper, heading towards the galley. The doctor got distracted by one of Captain Usopp's stunning tales, allowing the swordsman to sneak over to Robin.
"Hey," he greeted softly, sitting beside her as she looked up from her book.
"Good evening, Zoro," she replied with a smile. "How are you feeling?"
"Like shit," he confessed, "but much more…" he paused, searching for the right word, "stable than last night. Sorry about that by the way. I hope I didn't freak you out too much."
"No need to apologize. We all have our 'unstable' moments, and I believe you've been long overdue for yours." Zoro smiled.
"Yeah. And thanks for taking care of things today." Robin nodded with a genuine smile.
"Speaking of which, I asked Sanji to make you something when you woke up. I had a feeling that he would be more inclined to do so if I requested as opposed to you."
"Really? Just a feeling?" They shared a laugh before Zoro stood. "I'm gonna head to the galley. Chopper wanted me to eat something anyway."
As he walked away from Robin, he was almost immediately tackled to the ground. Zoro cried out at the suddenness, scared half to death. He panted heavily, trying to regain his breath as he pried a giggling Luffy off him. "Dammit, Luffy," he cursed. "Don't do that."
"Shishishi!" the captain laughed. "I surprised you! I must be getting good; Zoro always sees me coming at the last second."The swordsman's good eye widened. He briefly met Robin's gaze as he recalled her words from the previous night.
"It's not easy to startle you…you always seem to know who's beside you, even when your eyes are closed."
"Yeah," he mumbled to his captain half-heartedly, "you…must be getting pretty good…" Luffy stood with a grin, Zoro following suit.
"Come on," exclaimed the rubber-man, grabbing Zoro's hand. Zoro briefly closed his eye and sighed, enjoying the warmth of his captain's hand. Luffy always knew how to comfort him, even if he didn't know his swordsman was hurting. "Let's go make Sanji make us some meat!" Zoro let Luffy drag him off the main deck and into the galley. Suddenly, once they were out of their nakama's sights, Luffy slowed down. He turned to his first mate and said, "I never saw Zoro sleep so much without being injured first." It was a casual observation, and Luffy was still smiling. Even so, there was something deep hidden behind his coal black eyes, something that Zoro just couldn't put his finger on.
"I'm all right, Luffy," he assured. "I'll let you know if I—"
"Liar." Luffy was serious. Zoro just stood there in shock. Luffy reached out to cup Zoro's face in his hands. "Zoro hasn't been all right for a long time, has he?" Luffy's thumb brushed over his scar. "I want to help him."
"Luffy…I…" Zoro's voice caught in his throat. "I…don't want to talk. Not now. Please, Luffy. Let's just eat. Let's go back to normal. Let's pretend this never happened…please." Their eyes met, and the sheer desperation in Zoro's expression was too much. Luffy dropped his hands from Zoro's face, instead moving to grab his rough, calloused hand.
"Sanji!" he cried, suddenly, in his usual, over-excited tone, "meat!" Zoro closed his eye.
Thank you, Luffy.
He had seen the look in Luffy's eyes though. This wasn't over.
They entered the kitchen, Luffy still shouting about meat. Sanji grit his teeth.
"You just ate an hour ago, you—" The cook seemed to notice Zoro just then. "Oh, Marimo…you're up. That's a shame."
"Fuck you, ero-cook!" Sanji and Zoro glared at each other as usual, but then Sanji looked closer. Zoro was pale, really pale, which only accentuated the dark circles under his eyes. His glare softened. He turned back to his stove and began cooking.
Zoro was shocked at how little fight he was getting out of the cook. Did he really seem that weak that even Sanji didn't have the will to pick a fight with him? He sighed, taking a seat at the kitchen table, slumping into his chair. Luffy sat next to him. Zoro tried not to glance in his direction, but he could feel his captain's gaze on him.
"Here," said Sanji, handing the swordsman a plate of food after about a ten minute wait. Zoro didn't recognize the dish, but it looked and smelled delicious, as usual. "You're just lucky the lovely Robin-chwan asked so nicely or else you'd have gotten nothing," he teased, even though in reality, he had done it for an ill nakama, not just because Robin asked.
However, Sanji frowned when he got no response from Zoro. The other seemed to be in shock, a far away expression on his face. "Marimo?"
"Zoro?" This time it was Luffy who spoke. He shook Zoro's shoulder, but the latter didn't respond.
Both of their voices sounded muffled to Zoro as if he was underwater. He could barely feel Luffy's gentle touch.
"…You'd have gotten nothing."
He didn't understand. Sanji had just been kidding around, like they always do, so why? Why had such a simple phrase struck a nerve? No, more than that. He was in shock. His consciousness going somewhere far away…
No! Not the dreams again! Not the lab.
"…You'd have gotten nothing."
He drew away from reality.
He trained. He trained harder than he should have. Harder than anyone else could have. Day and night, day after day, week after week. He didn't want to anymore. His muscles were tearing, his bones breaking, and his senses numbing. His body couldn't take it anymore, and neither could his mind.
He collapsed.
"Not good enough, Sigma. Get back up."
He shook his head, exhausted and miserable.
"Unless you get back up now, you won't be getting any food this week."
He struggled to stand with all his might. He wanted to eat. He wanted to eat so badly. It had been so long. The hunger pangs were beginning to drive him mad!
He fell back over panting heavily and eyes barely open.
"That's it, Sigma. You must be punished." His captor took out a palm-sized, metal device with several buttons and dials on it.
No. Anything but that!
"Let's see; ah, yes, why don't we move you up to level four this time."He was terrified. The doctor had never set it that high before! What would happen to him?
A button was pressed.
And he screamed like never before.
Zoro snapped awake with a start. He could still feel the pain on the edge of his consciousness. Still hear that diabolical laughter. He tried to catch his breath and took in his surroundings. He was on the kitchen floor, and Luffy was cradling him in his lap.
"Zoro." He gazed into the swordsman's now-open eye. "Can you hear me?" Zoro took a shaky, deep breath and nodded.
"Yeah, I can hear you, Luffy," he managed. The captain let out the breath he'd been holding.
Zoro blinked as a glass was shoved in his face. Sanji knelt down next to him. "Drink this; it'll help." Zoro eyed the drink warily. It was filled with a thick, iridescent, almost glittering, liquid. Before he could blink, Sanji grabbed the back of his head, put the glass to his lips, and forced him to drink it.
It was good. Really good. A strange warmth flowed through him, soothing his aches and shaking.
"How'd you do that?" the swordsman asked as incredulously as a man in his position could. Sanji shrugged.
"Picked up some new recipes in the past couple years," was all that he cared to admit. In truth, it was something the okamas had showed him, but he wasn't about to tell that to Zoro. Besides, there were more important things to talk about.
Sanji lit a cigarette. "So," he began sternly, helping the swordsman into a chair. He leaned against the table, gazing straight into the other's silvery-gray eye. "Wanna explain to us what just happened?"
Zoro grimaced. He'd been hoping that Sanji would just let this go, but that was far too much to ask for. If Sanji thought his nakama were hurting, he would stop at nothing to find the cause and beat the shit out of it. "It was just a dizzy spell," he explained, trying to sound unconcerned. "No big deal. These things happen."
Sanji frowned. "That didn't look like any 'dizzy spell' I've ever seen." Zoro's working eye widened.
"W-what?"
"It looked more like a seizure. One minute, you were fine, and the next, you were on the ground, twitching and shaking." Zoro gritted his teeth. It was getting worse. What was happening to him? If this kept up, he'd have to leave the crew. He couldn't be relied on if he kept losing control like this. He needed help. He wanted to beg someone to make everything go away. He just wanted some peace! He couldn't help himself anymore. What was he supposed to do? What? What?! It was just too much.
A hand on his shoulder.
Luffy.
"Zoro just needs to tell us what to do. We're going to help him."
Luffy. Zoro wanted to hold everything back, suppress it, forget it, but Luffy did it. He broke the dam.
Zoro grabbed Luffy frantically and buried his face in the rubber-man's shoulder, hyperventilating. "I don't know!" he burst out. "I don't know, Luffy! I don't know! I just don't know what to do anymore!" For a moment, Luffy was in shock. Then, he gently grabbed Zoro and pulled him close. His grip was firm and confident, but as he looked to Sanji, it was clear that the captain was at a loss. He had never seen Zoro break down like this. Ever.
Something was very, very wrong.
Sanji couldn't watch. This was Zoro. Zoro. He just looked so fragile in Luffy's arms. And those dark circles under his eyes. He was exhausted. Sanji wished he could give Zoro a good fight like he normally did when the other was under stress, and then everything would be better, but none of his usual tactics could put Zoro back together again. Not when he was like this. He sighed.
The cook grabbed Zoro's face in his hands and forced the other to look him in the eye. Sanji's grip was anything but gentle, but his eyes were soft, concerned. "Zoro," he began. He grimaced at the lost, frightened look on the swordsman's face. "You're exhausted. You haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks. I don't know what sort of fucked up nightmares you've been having, but there hasn't been a night since we got back together that I haven't heard you wake up screaming at least once."
Luffy squeezed Zoro's shoulder. "Zoro has been having nightmares?"
Zoro looked between the two of them frantically. He'd been screaming in his sleep? How many people knew? What had they heard? Oh god, what was he going to do! Zoro's vision swam. This was too much. Far too much.
"Sigma."
"Not good enough."
"No food."
"Train harder."
"Sigma."
"Level four."
"You must be punished!"
"Sigma."
"Sigma."
"Sigma!"
Voices, so many voices in his head. Why? Why was this happening to him? It hurt!
Zoro cried out, clutching at his head. "Make it stop," he begged, voice cracking. "Please, make it stop!"
Luffy couldn't take it anymore. He pulled Zoro against his chest. "Zoro…" He ran a hand through coarse green hair, frowning at how unnaturally hot Zoro's skin was. Zoro buried his face into Luffy's chest, clutching onto his shirt. "Zoro," he repeated. "Sanji's right. Zoro needs sleep." Zoro let out a breath that was dangerously close to a sob, but no tears wet Luffy's shirt.
If he had been in his right mind, Zoro would have been in shock when Sanji placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You're exhausted, Marimo," he soothed. "You can't make sense of anything when you're like this. You'll feel better once you get some more sleep; I promise."
The swordsman did nothing for a few moments before nodding slowly. Luffy stood, helping his first mate up. Zoro still hid his face against Luffy's shoulder. The captain pulled him close. "Come on," he murmured. "Let's get Zoro to bed."
Sanji and Luffy practically had to drag Zoro to the men's cabin. The green-haired man had expended the last of his energy and could barely put one foot in front of the other. He didn't even notice the concern and anxiety in his nakama's faces. Luffy gave them all a glance that said, "I'll explain later." Finally, with moderate difficulty, they managed to get Zoro into bed. The swordsman was asleep before he even reached his bunk. Luffy and Sanji just watched him in silence. Both knew that their nakama needed to be told what was happening but neither was willing to leave Zoro's side at the moment.
"How do we help him…?" Luffy wondered aloud. He brushed his fingers across the other's face, hoping to offer some comfort to the sleeping man. Luffy was supposed to be the expert when it came to helping his nakama, but there was no Arlong or CP9 here. There was a battle raging in Zoro's head, and the captain had no way to help. There was no way to beat up a nightmare. He couldn't do anything for Zoro, not like this. For the first time since Ace died, Luffy felt completely useless.
"We be there for him," answered Sanji with determination. "We'll help him. Captain, we'll get him through this." Luffy nodded, and began to reply when Zoro started to toss in his sleep.
"Shit," Sanji cursed, "already?"
"No…" Zoro mumbled, "please…don't…no…" The swordsman stiffened suddenly and began to scream and thrash. The two jumped back at the sudden burst of noise. Sanji hadn't heard Zoro scream like this since…since Thriller Bark. He'd only been semi-conscious then, but he would never forget the sound. He glanced at Luffy who'd grown unspeakably pale. He was almost positive that Luffy had never seen Zoro like this, ever.
Luffy grabbed Zoro, pulling him close. He pet his hair, whispering, "It's just a dream, Zoro; just a dream. You're on Sunny. You're safe. Sanji and I are here. Shh, shh, Luffy's here. Luffy's here. It's just a dream." After a few moments of this, Zoro calmed, and his breath evened back out. Luffy pet his hair a few more times before laying him back down and tucking him in. He turned back to Sanji, looking haunted. "That's what Zoro's been doing every night?"
Sanji just shook his head, eyes equally wide. "N-no," he managed, breathless, "that was…that was much, much worse…"
The door to the cabin flew open, revealing all their nakama. "We heard screaming!" cried Usopp fearfully. Sanji shushed him before pointing to the fast asleep Zoro on the bed.
"He's sleeping again?" questioned Nami, lowering her voice. "Didn't he just wake up?" Sanji glanced at Luffy.
"I'll explain it to them. You…just keep him safe." Luffy nodded resolutely.
The cook led his nakama back outside where they didn't have to worry about waking Zoro. He lit a new cigarette and leaned against the cabin wall. "Zoro..." he trailed off, unsure of even how to begin. "Zoro's not doing so well. He's…he's been having nightmares. Really intense nightmares, and he hasn't had a good night's sleep in weeks. It's all starting to mess with his head."
Everyone began talking at once.
"Is he going to be okay—?"
"Did I miss something during the examination—?"
"Is that what I've been hearing every night—?"
"Look," began Sanji, cutting everyone off, "this is…whatever's bothering him, it's in his head, and he needs to get himself through it. But in the state he's in…he can't make sense of anything when he's so tired he can barely walk straight." Sanji felt anger boiling in his veins at the thought of his suffering nakama. "Luffy and I…we don't know what to do for him." He ran a hand through his bangs in frustration. "If he can just get some sleep, I know he can get through this, but he can't sleep for five minutes anymore without having a nightmare. And it's just getting worse. Zoro…Zoro needs our help."
The words sounded foreign in Sanji's mouth. Zoro, the marimo, their incredible, thickheaded swordsman, their first mate in all but name, never needed help. He was put on the same plane as Luffy in everyone's mind. He was impossible to take down. And yet, here they were. Zoro couldn't handle this by himself anymore.
The looks in the strawhats' eyes varied from unsure to anxious to determined.
"What can we do?" asked Nami. It was clear from her tone that she'd do anything to help Zoro.
But there was no real answer.
"I…I could give him a sedative," murmured Chopper, staring intensely at the floor. "I have one that's known to cause dreamless sleep, but…"
"But…?" prompted Sanji.
The little doctor frowned. "Even if it does work, it'd just be a Band-Aid solution. If he takes it too often, he'll risk addiction and can get really sick."
Throughout this entire conversation, Robin tried not to look anyone in the eye. She had a dilemma: she knew all about Zoro's nightmares, but if she told everyone, she'd be betraying the swordsman's trust, something she treasured above all things (especially considering how hard she had worked to gain it). If she told everyone now, Zoro might never trust her with anything ever again, so she chose to stay quiet. They could wait until Zoro got some sleep before discussing the content of his dreams.
Another scream shattered the tense silence. This time, there were words. "NO! Let me go! Let me go!"
"Zoro! Calm down!"
The strawhats raced back into the cabin only to find Luffy struggling to pin down a hysterical Zoro without hurting him. Zoro's eye was open, yet cloudy and fevered. He wasn't really conscious. "NO! Get away!" After a few moments of fighting, Luffy managed to restrain Zoro, forcing his first mate to meet his eyes.
"Zoro, it's me," he assured desperately. "It's Luffy. It was a dream. It was just a dream. Zoro's safe. Everything's okay." Something seemed to click then in Zoro's mind.
"…Lu…ffy?"
"Yup," he whispered, freeing the other only to pull him into an embrace. "It's just Luffy."
"It was…it was all…a dream…?" Luffy smiled gently.
"Just a dream."
And then, for the first time in over two years, Zoro began to cry.
Luffy was taken aback as Zoro collapsed against him. "Luffy," he sobbed, "Luffy, I can't do this anymore. I can't." Luffy let the other cry into his shoulder, soothingly rubbing up and down his back.
"I know. I know. We're gonna help Zoro—I'm gonna help Zoro. Everything's gonna be okay."
Sanji watched the sight of Zoro's breakdown wanting to turn away. To see the man he considered to be an equal, his best friend, like this...it hurt. He steeled himself and murmured, "Chopper, can you get that sedative you were talking about?" The reindeer nodded before scampering off.
The cook made his way over to the captain and first mate. Zoro had his face buried in Luffy's collar, unable to stem the flow of his tears. The blonde, unsure of what else to do, simply rubbed circles lightly on the other's back. Zoro briefly met Sanji's eyes with his red-rimmed and exhausted one. "Zoro," Sanji called softly, "Chopper's going to give you something to help you sleep, okay?" It felt so strange, talking to Zoro quietly and simply like one would a frightened child, but he wasn't sure if the green-haired man could handle much more than that. Zoro turned back to Luffy, nodding slowly.
The rest of the crew stood there awkwardly, unsure of their presences would make the swordsman feel better or worse. Nami made her way over, taking a seat on the bed while still giving the other some space. She gingerly grabbed his hand. Zoro didn't move, but she felt him grip her hand like a lifeline.
After a lifetime, Chopper returned with two large pills and a glass of water. Sanji helped Zoro take them, making sure that the swordsman drank all of the water as well. It wasn't long before Zoro began to get drowsy, and they were more than just surprised when Zoro blinked his cried-out eye dazedly and laid his head in Nami's lap. The redhead just let him and ran a delicate hand through his hair.
Robin soon walked over, standing near the bed and watching over Zoro with kind eyes. Usopp followed after, taking a seat next to Chopper. Franky resolved to keep watch, wiping his eyes clear of the many tears he'd shed when Zoro broke down. Sanji took a seat on the bed next to Nami, letting Zoro rest his legs haphazardly on his lap. Finally, Brook approached the bed, gently pulling a blanket over the first mate's still form, and stood next to Robin.
It was going to be a long night.
*End part 1. I'm going to wait for a response before uploading the next part. If no one says or does anything for a few days, I'll go ahead and post the next part regardless.