A/N: Just a warning to everyone, there is Closet Fan lime in this chapter. For those who don't know what lime is, it's sexual behavior, etc., but not real sex. Just thought I'd warn you Anti-CFs before you read it, lol. :P If you hate the Vissers together, you'll most likely dislike that small part of this chapter. So either skip the part (you'll know when you get to it), or skip the chapter. As for everyone else, enjoy!

This chapter was written by me.

Dedicated to Concrete Angel, simply for egging me on. ;) Thanks hun.

"Road Trip!"

Chapter Two...

Visser One's PoV

" Visser One!" Visser Three called ragingly, steaming, from the hallway.

" Visser Three!" I yelled back from inside the lavish hotel room. Best Western. By far the best human hotel chain, in my opinion. For some reason, Visser Three dislikes it. Perhaps that is only because I like it… That actually doesn't seem very unlikely.

And why was he raging now, you ask? Well, not that I know for sure, but it just may be due to the fact that once Iniss proved unable to stop touching me, I got fed up and proceeded to letting him air-dry out the window for a while. He was still there at this moment, amazingly he had not yet fallen out of the shirt I had so painstakingly duct taped to his stomach flesh. Why Visser Three would be mad about my GETTING RID of his irritating P.A. for him, lords help me I am clueless.

I heard the doorknob twist violently behind me for a few moments. I didn't so much as flinch. Maybe, subconsciously, I realized it would take Visser Three a whole minute to figure out the door was locked.

I heard a smothered "DAMN YOU, HUMAN DOORS!" followed by the sound of repetitious banging on the polished wood of the Best Western door. What an infernal racket! I sat down in a comfortable, deluxe chair (What, we paid for the room with Visser Three's money! Hello! I was bound to make some extra demands on HIS paycheck!) and looked at Ellie, Visser Three's red-haired, ditzy intern. She was lounging around on the sofa, filing her nails.

" Ellie, go open the door for Visser Three," I ordered.

" Like, do I have to?" Ellie whined.

" Yes, you do."

Rolling her eyes exaggeratedly, she got up and threw the nail file dramatically to the ground. What a priss. I would never act like that, no way.

She walked to the door and opened it. In stormed a very, very angry Visser Three in human morph. His face was red with rage.

" YOU HUNG MY PERSONAL ASSISTANT OUT A WINDOW?" he raged uncontrollably.

" Yeah." I shrugged. " So?"

" SO, THE HUMAN SECURITY WILL HAVE OUR HEADS! AND IF THEY COME IN HERE, I'M BLAMING IT ON YOU! ON YOU!"

" Yes, I heard the 'on you' the first time, Visser."

" Ohhh, I've have just about all I can take with you!" he screamed, brandishing his fist in my face.

" Yeah, same here," I spat coldly. " It's a real SHAME we have to share a hotel room!"

Suddenly, he raised his eyebrow at me. Dare I say, in a quite suggestive manner! My eyes widened.

" What the SEEROW was that?" I exclaimed, slightly freaked out.

He laughed coldly. " That was me, slightly freaking you out."

My heart rate loosened. A little. Having Visser Three give me suggestive glances about sleeping together in a hotel room made me want to expel my lunch, no matter how many times he told me it was a joke.

" Don't do that, Visser Three," I said. " Sorry to burst your bubble, but YOU ARE NOT HOT. Having you raise your eyebrow at me gives me a bit more than the creeps."

" All the more reason to do it," he said with a wide smirk, punching my stomach. " Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go rescue my brutally hanged P.A."

" Go for it!" I waved him off dismissively.

Visser Three stomped over to the window, lifted it up slowly and yanked Iniss roughly into the room.

" Hello, Iniss," he said.

" VIIIIIIIIISSERRRR!" Iniss sobbed uncontrollably. He turned around and – get this – tried to HUG Visser Three. Alright, HUG and VISSER THREE do not belong in the same sentence. Let alone INISS with all that.

Terribly disgusted with myself for allowing this awkward hug to take place – even though Visser Three was doing his best to fight it, it's Visser Three, and his best is pretty much running away and screaming "EW!" at everything he sees – I went to the bathroom. You don't need to know what I did in there. Otherwise, I may mistake you for the Yeerk paparazzi and you know, shoot you with a Dracon beam.

" VISSER, WHY WON'T YOU HUG ME?" I heard Iniss sob hysterically from outside.

" Like, Iniss, shut up," Ellie said. " That is like totally immature."

" Listen to the girly intern for once, would you?" Visser Three snapped.

" Like, I'm not GIRLY!" Ellie exclaimed, offended. " Like, that is a total insult. You are such a Hork-Bajir!"

" … I'm a Hork-Bajir, now?"

I rolled my eyes. How about I just stayed here in the bathroom for the remainder of the day? And night, especially if I had to share a room with King Dapsen over there… well, there are only two rooms, and two beds, and he already blatantly refused to sleep with Ellie, afraid she might try something.

And I know he won't share a bed with Iniss. "Iniss germs", he says. Sure.

So yeah, it's bound to be me! Oh, JOY!

After a while, and after Visser Three asking me about five hundred times if I was constipated, I decided the bathroom was boring, and other than to digest human waste and to protect one from a thunderstorm, quite useless as well. So I left.

" So…" Visser Three said, playing with a plastic spoon on a nearby chair. " You constipated? Too much cheese this morning?"

" No," I replied. " I am not constipated. I'm Visser One, for crying out loud! I don't get constipated!"

" Uh-huh," Visser Three said blandly, preoccupied with his spoon. He gets amused so easily… Maybe it's due to the lack of brain cells in his head.

I sat down on the sofa. Looking around, I realized Iniss and Ellie were nowhere in sight. Nighttime was rolling around quickly – it was already nine thirty. Where they were at this hour, I could only imagine…

- Doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing… doing –

" WOULD YOU GIVE IT A REST WITH THE SPOON?" I shrieked.

Visser Three's head snapped up. " … No!"

Raging, I got up and yanked the spoon out of his hand. I broke it in half and threw it in the garbage can.

Visser Three sulked. " I'm going to bed."

" At NINE THIRTY?" I exclaimed.

" Yep. At nine thirty. We have to leave early tomorrow."

" Why? What's so important?"

" The, uh, guy at the front desk told me I could have the room for free as long as we were out by seven."

" What the frig, Visser Three? Couldn't you just have paid him ten bucks? Maybe then we could have stayed an extra HOUR at least?"

" Look Visser One…" he said solemnly. " No."

And without another word, he retreated into the room on the far left wall of the hotel room. I know, very descriptive.

With this new development – you know, the one where we have to leave at fricking DAWN – I decided to hit the sack as well. I opened my luggage bag and pulled out a long, gold silk nightgown. I ran into the bathroom, slipped it on, then came back out to put away my clothes, and finally headed toward the dreaded room. Visser Three and me in the same bed just doesn't work out, people. We are WORST ENEMIES.

I walked in to realize Visser Three's timer was timed for an hour and forty-five minutes: he must have demorphed and remorphed while I was in the bathroom (I told him that if he didn't stay in morph to give me sufficient room in the bed, he'd have to sleep on the floor). Great. Now, unless I wanted to get brutally awaken every two hours, I'd need to wear extra-strength earplugs.

So I did.

I put them in comfortably, then settled into the bed next to Visser Three. I guess my body caused a depression in the mattress, causing him to turn over and look at me. I looked back at him. We stared at each other for a long time. His hand moved to touch my face. I moved in closer and rested my head on his shoulder, my arms laced around his neck, and his wrapped tightly around my waist. My hands played with the hair behind his head as he leaned in and started covering my neck with gentle kisses. I sighed, it felt so good. To be a military commander, and to always be tense and frowning, you really learn to love moments like this, you know? I rested my head onto the pillow, gazing at him with shining black eyes, my fingers moving through his hair.

He separated from me and looked into my eyes with his piercing gray ones. " You want to?" he asked.

" Stupid fool!" I snapped. " Ellie and Iniss could come in any minute, and you know as well as I do that they would blab to the whole Empire!"

I looked at him and kissed him angrily. He returned it roughly and grabbed my shoulders tightly with his hands.

" That's why the DOOR LOCKS, you idiot!" he exclaimed haltingly once we separated.

" Duh, don't you think I've tried that?" I yelled. " It doesn't lock."

He reached out and kissed me again. This time, we didn't stop, it was way too much. If Iniss blabbed, we' shoot him. If Ellie blabbed, we'd shoot her. That's all there was to it.

Visser Three started to unbutton my nightgown. I yanked off his shirt. And all this while kissing like two Earth animals gone wild… He clutched at my long black hair, and I dug into his bare back until I drew blood.

Yes, we are worst enemies. With benefits, but still worst enemies.

---

So that's how, four hours later, Visser Three reset his morphing clock for the second time, and fell back into bed, where, exhausted, we both fell asleep in under ten minutes.

I was awoken abruptly at who knows what time… after being poked quite inappropriately in a quite inappropriate place.

At first, I thought it was Visser Three. I rested my head on his chest and whispered, " What do you want, Esplin?"

He woke up and replied grumpily, " What do you mean, what do I want? Go back to bed woman, I'm exhausted!"

That's when I looked down by the foot of the bed. And that's when I screamed.

" AHHHHHHH!" I yelled, clutching desperately at the sheets to cover myself.

" YAAAAAAAH!" Iniss shrieked.

Visser Three shot up like a board. " Iniss! What are you doing here!"

Iniss sniffled, still clueless. " V-Visser… The thunder scares me."

What thunder? I thought. Has he gone insane?

" Iniss, you were probably just dreaming." Visser Three reasoned. " Now go back to bed."

" But --"

" Go back to bed."

" Fine…" Iniss said, leaving the room sullenly.

Once he'd shut the door behind him, I sighed and let the blankets drop. Visser Three looked at me longingly, then handed me a glass of water. He must have sensed I was thirsty… I took the water and drank it down. Tasted kind of salty.

The next thing I knew, I awoke to the sound of a car motor zooming off into the night. I soon realized I was in a car – wait a minute, this looked like Visser Three's car! … But I couldn't be certain. I was seatbelted down in my nightgown, facing up, and the stars raced by in the dark background…

The only thing I knew for sure was, I was in a car. And someone was in the front seat driving. Destination? Perfectly unknown.

Aaallright, well this turned out longer than I expected it to! Probably the cute CF lime… :) Anyway, I, Sinister Shadow, wrote this chapter (as if you couldn't guess :P), so please address all criticism and praise to me. :P

NOW REVIEW, DAMMIT!