Author's Note: I'm sorry that I forgot this on the first chapter, but I don't own anything.

Also, I will get to Jacob's story in the next chapter, but I needed to introduce Kara a little more.

Chapter Two

Courage Gone Sour

I was really excited, for the fist time in my life, to get to school today. To my horror my mom noticed.

"You seem happy today, Kara. Was school good yesterday?" I had effectively avoided this question last night and I had congratulated myself on my feat, but it was premature and now I have to come up with something to please my mother.

"Um, it was the same as usual. Nothing of merit to report." Sadly, it was so much the same as usual that I was still reeling from it. Maybe she would be satisfied with this answer.

"Come on Kara; tell me more so I can know why you are so excited today. Don't get me wrong I like this new attitude, I just want to know who I can thank for this." She was getting into her excited gossiping mode; this wasn't going to end well for me. Alas my good fortune was gone and I needed to come up with something to distract her.

"Really mom, nothing is out of the ordinary, but I heard that Jacob Black still hasn't come back." It almost came out as a question, but hopefully this would distract her from my depressing day yesterday.

"Ashley, is this true? I had heard that he ran off earlier this summer, but I thought for sure that he would be back by now." I had successfully turned the conversation and could now relax while Ashley and Mom gossiped about the elusive Jacob Black. I have no idea why this news was so juicy, but I think that since his dad is a tribal elder everyone was interested in their life. After breakfast with the family I headed off to school with Ashley and I was getting excited to see Danny.

English went by so slowly that I swear time was going in reverse. I then started thinking about what I wanted to say and it kept getting more and more cheesy or lame and I had to take my mind off of it so I pulled my book out and read it under my desk so my teacher wouldn't see what I was doing. I was reading the Chronicles of Narnia series again. I loved these books because they always took me to a new world where I was free to be myself without fear of rejection.

I was so nervous by the time I got into math that my hands were literally shaking. When Danny finally came in I knew if I didn't do it now that I wouldn't ever.

"Hey Danny, I know this is kind of out of the blue, but do you want to hang out with me this weekend?" It all came out so fast that I was afraid that he didn't understand me. So much for thinking of something clever in English. I guess that it was coherent enough because of all the snickers and whispers that my question enabled.

"Um, yeah, Kara I just don't think that I can hang out with you." His face looked mixed between sympathy and disgust. I was mortified. I seriously thought that Danny would be the one person in school that would give me a chance. "It's just that you and I hang out in different crowds and I just don't see us having much in common." Okay, I guess he was trying to let me down easily, but the comments behind me were not so kind. "Yeah, Kara, don't you get it; there isn't a group for you here to hang out with." That was, yet again, the ever-so-kind (said sarcastically) Melanie. I don't understand why she has to be so cruel to me. It's not like I am competition for her. Every guy wants to be with her and every girl wants to be her. She has perfectly straight black silky hair, perfect white straight teeth, dark chocolate eyes and the perfect bronze-red skin. She is the perfect Quileute girl and everything that I want to be, but never will. She is always the first to point out my inadequacies in my looks and I loath her very existence. She is standing behind Danny with her hand on his shoulder. I guess that more changed than I thought in the last year. They seemed to be friends and I didn't think that Danny wanted to be in that group before, but it looks like my intuition was way off here.

At this point I decided that skipping math sounded just fine and I left as fast as the little dignity I had left allowed me. I just started running with no real destination in mind and that's how I ended up on First Beach. This is where I went when I just needed to unwind from a particularly bad day and this day qualifies. It was here that I decided that it was my destiny to be alone and unloved by anyone who was not forced to know me. My family, by default, had to love me and deal with me, but they would move on when I left home and I would ultimately end up alone. I didn't belong here in La Push and I never would. I looked too odd and could never be accepted as part of the tribe. I just cried until there were no tears left and then I laid on the sand and let the sound of the waves lull me into a very welcome peaceful sleep.

The gentle patter of the rain on my face woke me up and I realized that I would be in serious trouble when I got home. It was almost 6:30. This also meant that I would have to give a good reason for ditching school and not showing up at home on time. I guess the truth will be the only excuse that my mom will accept. With that thought in mind I trudged back to my house to face the wrath of Mrs. Linda Chehalis.

"Hey Mom, I'm home." I called into the house as soon as I walked in.

"Kara, you had better have a good explanation why I have a message from the school saying you skipped over half the day and why you are coming in way past dinner time!" Oh, if I didn't stop her here she would get going and never stop. She looked so mad and I knew that this would just go on all night if I didn't cut her off now.

"Mom, I had a really hard day and I just couldn't..," this is where the tears reappeared, to my horror, and my brother and sister ran in to witness it. My mom's whole face changed from anger to concern in a matter of seconds and I knew that the waterworks wouldn't stop for a while.

"Kara, honey, what happened today?" She sounded so sincere and concerned that I just cried harder knowing that she loved me and cared about me.

"Well, I asked Danny if he wanted to hang out this weekend and he didn't." I blubbered this out and I wasn't sure if she even understood what I had said. "Then Melanie said that I didn't have any group to hang out with and that I didn't belong. I mean I knew they felt this way about me, I even feel this way, but it was hard to hear it out loud from her."

"I am so going to tell her off tomorrow at school. What right does she have to tell people where they belong...," I cut Ashley off before she went any farther.

"Ash, I don't want to make a big deal out of this, I just want to forget about it and get through the rest of high school and move away and not come back. They are right, I don't fit in here and I just need to find a place where I do belong."

My mom didn't like to hear me talk like this, but she let it drop for now and just hugged me and told me that she would re-heat my dinner and let Ben and Ash comfort me. Ben was our family jokester and he had me smiling in no time. Ashley told me about her day and updated me on how much everybody changed this summer. She also got out our emergency chocolate stash and I was feeling much better by an hour later.

After my brother and sister cheered me up considerably I went up to my room to get ready for bed. I just couldn't stop thinking about being alone. I know that I have my family and that they love me unconditionally, but that is not the same as having someone fall in love with me. I was interrupted in my thoughts by Ashley.

"Hey Kara, I just wanted to make sure you weren't brooding up here. Of course now I can see that is exactly what you are doing. You can't let these kids get to you. You are so beautiful inside and out." I almost snorted here, but I knew that I would get chastised if I did, so I kept it in check. "What are you thinking about, Kara?"

"Ash, I just can't seem to see a happy future ahead of me. All I have ever known, outside of the family, is hate. No one has ever wanted to be friends with me. I have always been the outsider and I am so lonely that it hurts all the time. Even in Seattle I was never really accepted. That's why I came home without much of a fight."

"Oh Kara, I wish that you wouldn't have to go through this. You, of all people, should be loved by everyone. You are the most caring and sensitive person I know. You always know how to make me feel better when I am sad. You are very intuitive towards all of us and you make sure that there is love and harmony in our home. We all love you so much and I promise you that some day you will find a guy that will see what I see every day." She said this with such sincerity that it was hard for me to not believe her. I know that she believes that this is true about me, but I know who I am and I am not worth anything compared to her.

"Thanks, Ash, I know that you love me and I am so grateful for that. I just wish for someone other than you guys to see me as a friend. I just don't see it happening. I mean look at the trend of my life. I have never had a real friend, other than you, and it is so depressing." I sound so self deprecating right now, but this is truly how I feel and I know that Ashley wants to hear how I really feel. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound so depressed, I just want you to know how I feel."

"I'm glad that you shared with me. Kara, you really don't see yourself at all. I don't think anyone really sees themselves clearly, but you especially. You need to stop thinking about what everyone else thinks of you and find a way to be happy with yourself. You are truly an amazing girl, and contrary to what you think, you are beautiful. The only reason Melanie is so mean to you is because she knows that you are far more beautiful than she is." I couldn't hold the snort back this time. "I'm serious, Kara, she may look like a beautiful Quileute girl, but you are just a gorgeous girl, no title needed. Anywhere you go you will be found beautiful."

"Ashley, I appreciate what you are trying to do here, but I really don't think that Melanie could ever be jealous of me. I went to a different school last year to start fresh and nothing changed, I was still the outsider that was not allowed in. Thanks, though, I feel a lot better now that I have been able to share my feelings with you. I really am lucky to have you as my sister."

"That's what I'm here for."

"So, tell me about this Jacob kid. He must really be something if Mom wants to gossip about him."

"Well, you know that he is Billy Black's son so the fact that he just took off without any clues as to where he is going is really weird. He is supposed to be really responsible so that he is ready to take his dad's place on the council."

"Wow, that's a lot of pressure for a teenager. I can see why he would want to take off and get away from it all. I think that I met him a couple of years ago at a bonfire. I don't really remember him though. He must be cute if you are willing to give up Nate for him." She rolled her eyes at me and smirked.

"Well, he is definitely hot. I mean last year he really matured and now his body is to die for. His friends are all hot too. I don't know if you've seen them around school, but Quil and Embry have rockin' bodies too. I think that Melanie has a crush on Quil but he refuses to give her the time of day." I was shocked at this news. I have yet to see a guy turn Melanie down. I would pay money to be a witness to that.

"That is unbelievable. Are you sure that's true? I mean this is Melanie we are talking about here."

"Well, Melanie is just a sophomore and Quil is a senior so I don't think that it's such a stretch that he has turned her down." We gossiped for another hour about all the kids in school and Ashley told me some more stories about Melanie that was making me re-think her perfection. Maybe she was just another girl in high school trying to make it in the social world. The biggest difference between us is that she is successful at it and I'm not. Ashley always knows just what to do to make me feel a whole lot better.

"Ashley thanks so much for tonight. I really wasn't going to go back to school. I was going to beg mom to let me transfer to Seattle again. I'm glad that we will get to spend this year together in school. I love you, Ash."

"I love you too, Kara. I'm here for you whenever you need me." With that she gave me a hug and left to go to bed. I was finally calming down enough to drift off to sleep and the last thing I thought of was Melanie getting turned down by this Quil guy. I fell asleep with a smile on my face.