Chapter 2: Failed - Alex's POV

I got back from school and sat on the couch to watch TV like every single day. Life was really, really boring. And sad. Justin picked up a soda in the fridge and sat by my side. He opened the can slowly and waited some seconds before drink it. The guy was weird. He placed the can next to me and waited. I kept watching the TV like a dead body. I wasn't even moving.

"You're not going to try to steal my soda like always?" Justin asked looking at me with a weird face.

"No." I mumbled. I wasn't in the mod to annoy Justin. I wasn't in the mod of doing anything had months already.

"Why? You always loved to piss me off."

"I'm not in the mod right now Justin." I said without take my eyes from the screen.

"Alex, you have to forget it." His voice was lower. He didn't say Mitchie's name, but it was enough for me to almost break down in tears.

"How Justin? Please tell me how cause I already tried everything I could."

"She died almost a year ago." He whispered and my heart burned. "You have to let it go."

"I can't." I mumbled. "I tried but I can't. I still love her Justin and I'm sure I'll never stop felling this."

"I can't say that I know how you feel cause I don't...but I can tell you that I'll be here for you for anything." Justin smiled weakly.

"Thanks Justin." I hugged him for some seconds. "I'll go to my bedroom. I have a lot of homework." Justin made a shocked face and I laughed a little bit. "I know. Alex and homework can't be in the same sentence at least it has a 'don't do' in the middle. But it distracts me, so is kinda good."

I went to my bedroom and laid in my bed. I looked around just to get even more sad. Mitchie's side of the room was in the exact same way she leaved it. The red bed sheets, the Camp Rock teddy bear sitting in her pillow, the posters in the walls, the shelf filled with cds, her acoustic guitar, the black Detroit SG and the electric piano. I walked until her wardrobe and opened it. I still could feel Mitchie's sweet smell. I picked up her favorite T-shirt and hugged it like I had already did thousands of times. The green Paramore's t-shirt was already losing Mitchie's smell since I would hold it into my chest almost every night so I could sleep. Wasn't the same thing as have her body pressed against mine, but it was enough to make me fall asleep.

I put the t-shirt on it's place and get back to my bed. How I wish Mitchie could be there with me, holding me, singing her beautiful songs and telling me that she always was going to be with me and how much she loved me. I missed everything. From the color of her eyes to the sensation of her soft skin in mine. How could I live without her? How could I breath without my angel? Mitchie was the only reason why I would open my eyes every single day and smile. She was the reason why I was still breathing...But she wasn't there anymore, so why should I keep breathing?

I walked to my parents bathroom and locked the door. I opened the medicine cabinet looking for anything that could kill me. A full bottle o sleeping aids caught my attention. I picked the thing in my hands and opened it checking how many pills were left. Forty pills...I think is enough. I filled a cup with water from the sink and took a deep breath. After that I was going to be with Mitch...With my angel. I leaded the bottle to my mouth ready to take all of them. A loud noise made me jump and the bottle fell from my hand in the sink.

"No, no, no!" I said picking the bottle up. Forty pills threw on the garbage cause a fucking wind closed the window when I less expected. I threw the bottle in the wall and sat on the bathroom's floor. "I must be God's personal joke." I said to myself. I covered my face with my hands but then something snapped in my head. I stood up and went through the medicine cabinet again. The shiny metal caught my eyes and I smiled. "Let's see if this is going to make someone laugh." I sat on the floor and made two really deep cuts in my wrists.

I watched the red liquid fall from the cuts like waterfalls. I smiled weakly. Just some more minutes and I'll be gone...I closed my eyes and everything went black.

'What the hell?' I thought. I felt like someone had hit my head with a baseball bat.

"I'm really worried about her." I heard an unknown voice. "We got a lot of suicidal teenagers in here, but she doesn t look like someone who would do this."

'Am I still alive? Damn. I'm not God's personal joke, I'm a whole comedy show.'

"Something happened in the family to take her to do this?" The same voice asked.

"Her sister died almost a year ago. They were really close." I heard dad's voice. I slowly opened my eyes and three blurry images caught my sight.

"Mmm." I mumbled. The three images looked at me and get closer.

"Alex sweetie. Are you ok?" Dad asked.

"Where am I?" I said. My vision finally becoming clearer. The three images were mom, dad and a doctor.

"You're in the hospital. Why you tried to kill yourself?" Dad asked. I could listen to the sadness in his voice.

"I can't take it anymore dad..." I whispered. He looked to the floor for some seconds and at me again.

"Mitchie wouldn't like to see you doing this..." Use my death girlfriend's name is play dirty...really dirty.

"Mitchie is dead dad! She's not here, she's not watching over me. All this is bull shit. I just wanna die and end up with this fucking pain!" I almost shouted.

"How do you know she's not here right now?" He stared at me.

"I just know. This kind of thing doesn't exist."

"They say the same thing of magic." He whispered so the doctor couldn't hear.

"Those are two really different things..." I looked at the doctor. "When I'll be able to get out of this place?"

"Probably tonight. We just have to run some exams to check if everything is ok." He smiled.

"When you say exams you mean see a shrink right?"

"Yes." I rolled my eyes.

"I don't need it."

"Yes you do." Dad said. I rolled my eyes again. I looked at the door and saw a boy in my bedroom's door. My friend Mason.

"Oh my God Alex. Are you ok?" He asked hugging me. I smiled weakly and hugged back. Mason had brown hair and eyes and he was British. He got transferred to my school after Mitchie died and we soon became best friends. He knew how she had truly died since he was a werewolf and was one of the prisoners in the Pandemonium. He was one of the thousands of lives that Mitchie died to protect. Mason was the only person who could make me truly smile.

"I'm fine Mason." I said smiling. He stopped hugging me and looked at me pissed.

"Why did you done this?" He asked pissed. His British accent heavy in his words.

"Do I really need to say?" I said knowing he was going to understand me.

"You're crazy. Kill yourself isn't the way to get over it."

"I know." I mumbled.

"You almost killed me. When your mom called me saying that you were in the hospital I almost had a heart attack!"

"Can you have a heart attack?" I asked smiling. Could werewolves have heart attacks?

"Actually no. I just said it to show how much I was worried." He smiled at me and this made me smile even more. Truly smile.

"Sorry interrupt, but you have to go to the waiting room." A woman in white clothes said. She was blond and tall. "I'm doctor Cameron and I'm Alex's shrink."

"Cooperate with her. It s for you well." Mason said before get out of the room with my parents."

"Pff..Yeah, right." Doctor Cameron sat on the chair in the side of my bed with a notebook and started to right something. She looked at me and smiled. "Let me say something to you. I don't need therapy. I'm perfectly fine."

"That's why you tried to kill yourself." She asked.

"Exactly." Ok, this don't make any sense. "I know what I'm feeling and what I want. In the moment I want to get away from this place so I can kill myself."

"Why you tried to kill yourself?"

"My girlfriend died." WAY TO GO ALEX!

"I thought it was your sister who died." She said with a questioning face.

"This. My sister died. That's why I done this."

"So why you said that your girlfriend died?" God! This woman is more annoying than that YouTube orange!

"It's a long story."

"I got time." She smiled.

"But I don't. I wanna go home."

"You only will go home if you cooperate with me." I rolled my eyes.

"Fine." I mumbled. "I've meet this girl in Camp Rock and I fell for her. She was beautiful, talented and her heart was the size of the moon." I smiled sadly when the images of summer came to my head. Was all so simple back then. "We started to date and when the summer ended we drift apart. Some time later my parents told me I had a sister and that she was going to live with us. I didn't liked at the beginning. When she arrived to our home everything started. The girl I loved was my sister." I felt a tear running through my cheek. "We learned how to live as sister but it didn't last. We continue dating and when our parents found out they told her to get out of the house and this took her to death." I wiped my tears and looked down at my hands holding each other in my lap. "We were going to get married. She proposed me in valentine's day." I whispered. I looked at the woman by my side. She was writing something in her notebook.

"And what took you to try suicide?"

"I wanted to end up with the pain. I'm sick of crying every night while I hug her favorite t-shirt just to feel her smell. I don't want to suffer anymore."

"How long you two dated?"

"A few months. Three or four probably. I didn't count. This was Mitchie's thing."

"So her name was Mitchie?" Didn't I just said that?

"Yeah." I whispered.

"I think this is enough for me." She stood up and I followed her with my eyes. "I don't usually say this. In your place I would have done the same thing but you have to find other things that make you happy and focus on they. You will never get over the pain, but it will get easier to live." She smiled and get out of the room.

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