Return to Normalcy
Chapter 02: The Meeting at Callahan's
While Ranma and Nabiki were having their heart to heart talk at Tendo-ke, the senior males had gathered up at place called Callahan's Place. Callahan's was a long way off from everything on Earth, yet it was right down the street if you really needed it.
Happosai had taken a liking to the place and its piano player, Fast Eddie, who had done more covers of Billy Joel's Piano Man that night than Happosai liked. He thought Piano Man was too sappy and sad of a tune for place like Callahan's, but them's the breaks. Fast Eddied always played what the customer's wanted. The real problem with Callahan's was that Mike Callahan only accepted American money, and any coins you spent had to be ninety percent silver which, by the time of this visit, had become painfully scarce; The US stopped minting silver coins by 1963 and they stopped printing silver certificates in 1964. Happosai expected Mike Callahan to close shop once the honest money ran out. I'll miss this place after it closes, but I won't weep for it. I've seen thousands of good bars and inns close during my three hundred years. Callahan's will be just another fond memory.
Right now though, Callahan's was still in business and it was well worth trouble of raiding his hoard of rare American coins and bills, because it was such a great place to plot things out. Snooping inside Callahan's was strictly forbidden. Fast Eddie was swift silent and handy with a sap, and snoopers invariably woke up in the alley knowing that snooping on anyone in Callahan's Place was a big no-no. Not only did they wake up with a prize winning headache, they could never find Callahan's Place again. Privacy here was better than what Happosai could have had in a government built SCIF.
As was usually the case, Soun had problems with their next job. Happosai could not see the problems with it, while Genma was too cautious to get beyond the planning stages. It was a wonder that the trio actually ever made any of their plans work out at all. It is likely that if it were not for Happosai, they would have done nothing but sit in a corner and quiver. On the other hand, thanks to the caution of Soun and Genma, they almost never got caught by the law.
"I'm tellin' you two that the boy is entirely too valuable to be married to one woman." This was a claim that Happosai reiterated for something like the twentieth time that evening. "Soun, you should be encouraging all of your daughters to bed him."
Soun responded by rolling his eyes. "My daughters are not the compliant females of your era, Master."
Genma grunted. "Ranma's curse makes him identify with women anyway. I doubt he would allow more than one to pillow with him. Sooner or later, he will make up his mind about which one he likes and then he'll get her pregnant."
"Hmph! You'd think that a man among men would have many children by the time he made eighteen."
Genma gave an exasperated growl.
"Master, what is so important about Ranma's descendants?" Soun asked.
Happosai felt the adrenaline surge out into his extremities. "They'll rule the world, you damned fool!"
Genma rolled his eyes at that statement.
"They will, you wait and see," Happosai said. "It would be especially good if he would get Nabiki pregnant. Not only does she have a good head on her shoulders, she's cold and hard-hearted; just whatcha need to get by with style in this nasty old world."
"Well, Master, your plans are not going to accomplish anything with my three daughters. All you are managing to do is to make them angry with the boy," Sound said. His exasperation was evident in his voice and face.
Happosai was suddenly furious; he shouted, "You two just don't get it, do ya? Can't you see what we are? We're hornets! We prey on predators, just like hornets prey on other predatory bugs. We make it possible for the honeybees to do well and flourish. If we left it up to the cops, the whole word would just fall apart at the seams. We're in a high risk business! We hafta replace our numbers plus some more."
Soun and Genma both sighed aloud. They've both heard me give this speech before, but I don't care if they're bored with it. I gotta get it through their thick skulls,Happosai thought.
"Try to understand, Master," Genma said. "Soun's daughters have minds of their own. Ranma is cursed to be female about half the time, maybe more. Those conditions don't exactly make for healthy sex lives."
"Hmph!" Happosai snorted as he crossed his short little arms across his chest. "Akane is about half a boy without being cursed."
Soun and Genma both gave their diminutive elder exasperated stares. After a moment of Happosai keeping his stone visage set during prolonged silence, Soun started talking.
"The Chinese girl, Shampoo, is hot to trot for the boy, but he doesn't seem to have a real interest in her," Soun said and gave his head a shake. He paused to to give Happosai time to answer, but Happosai just gave him a cold stare instead of saying anything. Soun cleared his throat before continuing. "He lacks any sexual interest in the Kuonji girl as well-I think perhaps it's her androgynous appearance."
"Don't forget that Ranma believed her to be a boy when they were both mere gakki," Genma interjected. "He still thought she was a boy when she showed up here in Nerima."
Soun added. "As matters stand, we have too few resources to accomplish the goals you want."
Man what a pair of losers! Happosai thought. I wonder why I picked them to be my students? Oh, that's right. They were easily cowed into doing whatever I wanted them to do.
"What about that little rich bitch?" Happosai asked in an irritated voice. "What's her name? Kodachi! What about her?"
Soun and Genma both shuddered and then threw up their hands in with disgust written on their faces.
"May as well forget both of the Kuno's, Master. Ranma can't stand either of them." Genma's voice like distant thunder.
Happosai was not deterred. He kept his face in its cast-in-concrete mode, knowing full well that his two students had seen him in such a mood many times before. He sat and watched until their defiance sagged and fell off of their faces.
"Dammit!" Happosai shouted. Dammit, guys! "We gotta do sumthin' and we gotta do it soon. How can we go about changing these kids' motivations? What if we were to douse the girls with water from the Spring-of-Drowned-Man?"
Soun and Genma both froze in place. Fear written into their very postures. Now they're afraid I might actually do it, Happosai thought, and I just might. It ain't all that bad of an idea.
After a prolonged silence, Genma spoke up. "I don't know that such a thing would work all that well. We are not dealing with predictable machines, Master, but women. Such a massive change in their bodies would likely twist their twisted minds even worse than usual for women."
"It might help Akane get past her loathing for boys, right?" Happosai asked.
"It could just as easily make it impossible for her to take a pee," Soun said, "but there is no way to know for certain what her reaction might be. She might suddenly become even more suspicious of boys after she becomes one herself."
"Soun's right, Master," Genma interjected in his best grinding boulders voice. "Akane would doubtless take months to reconcile herself to her curse. Ranma is the single most adaptable young man I have ever seen and it took him almost two years to become comfortable with being a-a-girl."
"Hah! If you ask me it took you that long to get used to the idea, Genma," Happosai said. "Ranma got used to his curse right after he discovered that there were situations where girls get special treatment."
Genma and Soun both visibly bridled at this. They both know that I'm right about Ranma, Happosai thought. He waited in silence for their defiance to fade again.
"At any rate, Akane ain't been raised the same way that you raised your boy, has she, Genma?" Happosai asked. His eyelids were drooped so that he was peering out at Genma through mere slits. It was his sly and crafty face. "I say we throw some drowned-man-water on her and see what happens."
Soun immediately became outraged and used his Demon's Head attack on his ancient master. Happosai merely snickered and snapped his fingers. Soun was immediately deflated.
"That trick only works after you have your bluff in on your opponent, boy! Now behave and answer my questions. Do you think it would hurt Akane to be a male once in a while?"
Genma frowned very hard. It was an exceedingly frightening thing to behold, but Happosai had seen more than one irate face during his long life.
"I think that being a genuine male would likely delight the Kuonji girl, Genma said. "Akane might-as in just maybe-be pleased. Certainly her punches would become far more powerful. I have no doubt that Nabiki would very quickly learn to take full advantage of such a curse. For her, it would be a blessing, but how on earth could even you consider inflicting such a fate on sweet little Kasumi?"
Happosai demonstrated his callousness with a loud snort. "She's not nearly so sweet and innocent as she lets on, you gullible panda!" Happosai gave out a nasty laugh. "No one is as sweet and innocent as she pretends as she pretends to be."
"Master! You should be giving her credit for doing her best to live up..."
"Yes, I know, Soun. She goes to that bloomin' church every Sunday. She even attends a lot of Buddhist ceremonies, but that doesn't make her a saint."
"No, simply attending religious ceremonies does not do such a thing, but living up the standards they set will make a saint of a person! Kasumi has come close to doing that for years now," Genma said with more than a little heat.
Happosai twisted his face into a wry look and spat on the floor. "All right, we leave sweet little Kasumi out of the experiment. She despises the ground Ranma walks on anyway."
This took both Soun and Genma visibly aback.
"What makes you say that, Master?" Soun spluttered.
"Yeah, what makes you say that?" Genma asked.
"You two fools are so oblivious that neither one of you knows what really goes on under your own roof!" Happosai shouted, cowing both of the younger men. "She does not like Ranma and never has! She doesn't like you either, Genma. Oh, and she positively loathes me."
This last statement by Happosai was no surprise to either of his students. They both shrugged their shoulders when he said it, but they both seemed shocked that Kasumi had little use for Ranma.
"Matters are even worse for you, Soun. Kasumi has become resentful of you," Happosai said.
Soun worked his mouth like a fish out of water.
"The sooner you marry her off and get her out of your house the better off the two of you will be." Happosai added. "She'll be someone else's problem then."
Soun was flabbergasted with disbelief. Genma was outraged. The occasional furry wonder got control of himself first. "What on earth are you talking about, Master?"
"What? You don't think that Kasumi has desires and dreams like every other human being on this planet? I guarantee you she does! Soun should have shipped her out right after his wife died. She was old enough and he let her hang around and become a substitute for the woman he lost."
"I did no such thing!" Soun said in a half alarmed, half guilty voice. "I was a complete wreck after my..."
"Yes, yes! I know!" Happosai said in as nasty a tone as he could muster, interrupting Soun's incoming tirade. "You went completely soft in the head. You worship your late wife's soul everyday in that family shrine you keep in your bedroom. I've seen you."
"What's wrong with that?" Soun asked. His voice cracked as he asked the question.
"Well, there's nothin' wrong with respectin' the dead at first blush, but when you prefer a dead woman to a hot little number like Hinako I hafta wonder about your sanity, man. I'll bet your late wife wonders about that, too."
Genma grunted in surprised agreement with Happosai.
"Et tu, Saotome?" Soun asked in Latin. "Et tu?"
"Oh, come on, man! Hinako is young, nubile and vivacious."
"But she turns into a...a...baby!" Soun shouted with a wail in his voice. "I did not dare take up with her."
"All ya needed to do was use the pressure point techniques to cure her of that ki created nonsense," Happosai chimed in. "She would still make you a fine wife."
Soun stared at Happosai hard with a look of furious outrage.
"Hornets, remember? We still need to replace our numbers. I'm too old to make babies anymore. That means you two should be doing everything possible to increase the size of our swarm."
Both Genma and Soun groaned at this.
"Master, be reasonable..."
"I am being reasonable, you long-haired galoot! Wake up and smell the cordite!"
Soun started to blubber uncontrollably.
"Geez, you're such a crybaby," Happosai said, making a disgusted face.
"He can't help it, Master!" Genma exclaimed.
"I don't care whether he can help himself or not, Panda-man," Happosai said with disgust in his voice. "This is about the very survival of our kind. Survival has always demanded that we take full advantage of everything we can find. Soun here is failing to take advantage of what is already in his lap!"
Rendered speechless, Genma spluttered trying to make a coherent protest.
"You two go back to Nerima. Jusenkyou is easy for me to reach from here."
Genma opened his mouth to object, but Happosai cut him off.
"Don't worry, Genma," Happosai said, as he threw the contents of mug in Genma's face. "I'll get more than enough water from the Spring of Drowned Man for you to shuffle off the panda."
Genma growled and clicked his teeth, unable to say a word while Soun Tendou gave the ancient old lecher a bug-eyed stare. He was still furious with the little man.
"And don't you worry about Kasumi, Soun," Happosai said as he slapped a one dollar silver certificate on the table top and gave his outraged student a nasty laugh, "She'll be fine now, no matter what you do. Get movin' towards home!"
Genma picked up the money and wandered off to the bar. After a moment he returned with two shot glasses of Tullamore Dew. He waddled over to the chalked line with Soun by his side at the center of Callahan's. The two of them faced the monstrous great fire place that covered the entire end-wall of the building.
Soun muttered to Genma, who growled back faintly and nodded his big round head while twitching his left ear. Soun then held up his shot glass while Genma did the same. The bar fell silent.
"To Jusenkyou!" Soun shouted. Genma gave out a weird panda bark and the two of them downed their Irish whiskey in unison. Then they smashed their jiggers by throwing them as hard as they could into the fireplace. Their obligatory toast completed, the two of them ambled out the front door in silence. The patrons were puzzled, but sympathetic-especially to Genma. Fast Freddie started playing Piano Man again, and the crowd started singing along.
Happosai sat watched the two men leave Callahan's Place as his crafty little mind raced ahead to work on his next problem. Genma, was a vastly capable, but lazy as hell. Happosai understood the second he saw Genma's panda form when he returned to Tendo-ke that Genma had full control over his curse. That was the real trick to Jusenkyou, controlling the curses it gave. Some of its victims never learned to deal with it without hot water. Genma was one of the few that had learned to invoke the curse without water. Happosai had seen him change into a panda whenever it was convenient to be a mute and fuzzy animal.
Everyone tended to love the big fluffy creatures-not that many had ever had to deal with an actual panda. Unlike a bear, the mere sight of a panda invoked the same response that a stuffed toy did. That never lasted more than ten seconds if the panda were actually nearby, but at a distance people tended to equate pandas with stuffed toys.
Soun, on the other hand, was entirely too protective of his daughters, believing them to be angels. Well, they were decent insofar as human beings go, but they weren't kami incarnate-they weren't even angels. Happosai had an intimate knowledge of the female psyche and his arrogance made him think he understood what ran through their twisty little minds.
As far as Happosai was concerned, women were merely resources to be exploited. Soun was not exploiting his resources in the most efficient manner. No matter what the modernists wanted to claim, women were born to have babies and, as far as Happosai was concerned, that is what they should do with a bare minimum of fuss and bother-not that it every had worked out that way. Women always wanted more than their fair share of things. For his part, Happosai was willing to give them most of what they wanted in return for that wonderful ki they generated.
He sat nursing his drink until enough time had passed for his two forty-something students to reach Nerima. Then he paid his tab, offered a toast to the cursed springs and threw his mug into the fireplace. Having completed his obligatory toast, he set out for Jusenkyou.
"I'll hafta send the water out by caravan," Happosai muttered. "The curses never survive a trans-dimensional trip. It would be nice if we could use Callahan's as a way-station, though."
Happosai allowed his ever active mind to grind on as he made his way back to the earthly plain and Jusenkyou.
Let's see. I'll need four liters of cursed water per person. There's Akane, Nabiki, Ukyou, Shampoo-hope it doesn't turn her into a tomcat-and the rich bitch-Kodachi. Four times five is twenty. I'll double it just to make sure there's enough to go around. Better get some water from the Spring-of-Drowned-Girl while I'm at it-just in case I need to correct a mistake or two. Let's see, how much does water weigh per liter? Oh, that's right! A liter weighs a kilogram so that's four kilograms per victim...er...subject so, call it two hundred kilograms of water total. That's close enough. At a thousand yen per kilogram to get it out of the Bayankala range by dromedary and then perhaps half that amount per liter to truck it to Tsingtao, plus payola, plus gratuities, comes out to a tidy sum, but that's okay. It'll be worth it.
The trouble with throwing a party at home is that no one ever sticks around to help with the necessary clean up, Akane thought as she picked through the teetering wreckage of what had once been the family dojo. Not even Ryoga had stayed, of course that could be blamed on his family curse. The boy could not find his butt with both hands most of the time. I wonder what makes him that way? Did a foul tempered kami tell one of his ancestors to get lost and stay lost? Something buzzed in her subconscious every time she thought about constantly lost Hibiki. She shook her head to clear it.
Akane paused to wipe the sweat from her forehead and cast a glance in Ranma's direction. He was using his ki to form a one molecule thick blade to square off the ragged ends of the boards they were salvaging. Once the ends were square, he placed them in a neat pile set up on evenly spaced bricks to keep the boards off the ground. Later they would cover the salvaged materials with a tarp to keep it out of the weather.
I wonder how long it will be before we have a training hall? A month? Longer? I wish I could use my ki the way Ranma does. He hasn't had to use a cutting tool since his run-in with Haabu, the Prince of the Musk.
For her part, Akane was working on a small burn pile they had made to get rid of the flammable waste. She was feeding the maximum of scrap lumber allowed by law to the small fire. It was hot work and it demanded both patience and control.
"Just think of it as training, Akane," Ranma had said to her, when they set out to start working on the wreckage. "A lack patience and self-control are two of your greatest weaknesses."
She grinned as she remembered having to fight off the urge to send Ranma off on a trip via Air Akane just prove his point. I guess he's right about me needing to work on my control, but he's almost as impatient as I am, but he doesn't get angry the way I do. Wait a minute, is that why he picks on me all the time? Is that what the taunts are all about? Has he been going out of his way to make me mad? Genma taunts Ranma every time they spar. Can it be that offering insults and dealing with insults hurled at you is just part of the art?
Akane dropped another stick on the fire and walked toward Ranma. "Yo, baka!"
"What do you want, Akane?"
"Turn around."
Ranma turned around and looked down into Akane's face while she stared up at him. Akane smiled, and she could see that her fiancé became weak at the knees. "Put your ki blade away."
"Oh! Yeah, right." The faint shimmer around Ranma's right hand vanished.
Akane threw her arms around Ranma's neck and then pulled his head down until their lips touched. She gave him a passionate kiss standing right there in the full daylight of the open backyard. He was hesitant at first, but after Akane persisted he let go of his passion and it carried them both away as though a dam had suddenly burst. All the pent up energy between them broke out in one sudden uncontrollable flash. The very air around them lit up with a transparent golden glow.
"Akane!" Kasumi's cried out. "Stop that!"
Akane reluctantly broke the kiss and turned to face her elder sister. "Why?"
"Because-you're out in the open where anyone can see!"
Akane looked around. "It's our backyard, Kasumi. It's surrounded by a solid wall. No one minding their own business can see us."
Kasumi's outrage played across her face. She had been carrying a bucket of dirty water; Akane watched as Kasumi's hatred dance across her face. The older girl changed her grip on the bucket's bail and slung its contents on Ranma. He never so much as flinched; he simply stood stock still and turned into a girl with red hair as the stinking water washed over him. Ranma calmly stared at Kasumi as though nothing happened while the grey water dripped from the end of nose. Akane was livid.
"Kasumi! What are you doing? What has gotten into you?"
"What has gotten into you, little sister? I thought you had better sense than to actually fall for this ne'er-do-well! It's bad enough that our father associates himself with his kind. It was necessary for you to pretend to go along with father's plans for a while, but now you're free. You do realize that nothing bad would have happened if he and his walking carpet of a father hadn't arrived on our doorstep."
Akane was taken aback by this. She felt Onna-Ranma's hand on her shoulder. She turned her head enough to see his face out of the corner of her eye. Onna-Ranma barely shook his head. Akane turned her head to face Kasumi full on. "I know..."
"What, Akane?" Kasumi asked. "You know what, exactly? Don't you realize that your academic career is at death's door because of him and his Chinese curses? How are you going to make a living, Akane? How that freak will provide for you? You cannot possibly think that he will make a living teaching martial arts. No one in their right mind wants to know a thing about what he has spent the last thirteen years mastering."
"She's right, Akane."
This last made Akane's hair stand on end. She whirled around to face Onna-Ranma. "What do you mean?"
"Simple, I mean Kasumi-san is right. I know she is." Onna-Ranma's voice was as cold as the dark vacuum of space. It took Akane's breath away. She wanted to double over as though someone had sneaky-punched her in the gut. She suddenly found herself fighting for each and every breath, unable to believe that Ranma was agreeing with her sister-his suddenly self-righteous accuser.
"Then why did you just...just...kiss me like that?" Akane asked, feeling the control of her temper begin to slip.
"I'll answer that question when you can tell me why you started it," Onna-Ranma answered in an emotionless voice.
"See, Akane? It admits that it's a walking disaster," Kasumi's voice was even colder than Onna-Ranma's voice had been. "Get away from it while you still may."
"You really should, Akane," Onna-Ranma said without so much as blinking.
"Should what?" Akane asked her fem-form fiancé. "What should I do? Why are you agreeing with Kasumi, Ranma? Is it because you secretly hate me?"
"I love you, you idiot, but it's like Kasumi said. You should get away from me and stay away. Shit-daddy and me," Ranma paused to inhale a ragged breath, "we're just creeps and thieves. We got no business being here."
While Akane struggled to understand what Onna-Ranma had just said, Kasumi walked up behind Akane and wrapped an arm around Akane's shoulders. Akane was startled by the move and flinched away, but Kasumi had her captured in an embrace born of protective love.
"That took courage, Ranma," Kasumi said. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, Kasumi-san," Onna-Ranma said in a dejected voice. "Akane, you have missed twelve weeks of school. There is no way for you to make that up without very expensive help."
Akane opened her mouth to speak, but Onna-Ranma held up her hand for silence.
"You won't need to worry about what it will cost, 'cause I already know how to bring that kind of money in, but it means that I won't be able to stay in school with you. All you will have to do is ta promise me that you'll work at your studies."
"Ranma, you're not my father or my brother, you're my..."
Onna-Ranma cut her off. "The only reason that we're supposed to get married is because your dad and mine decided that it should be so. You and I never asked for that. Now that I know about everything that has gone on in the past, I really don't want you in this particular trap."
Akane's eyes widened with shocked surprise. "What trap."
Kasumi hugged Akane all the tighter. Onna-Ranma's face turned to stone.
"As far as I can see, we are not honor bound to marry because Shit-daddy is as dishonorable as anyone can be, and your Dad ain't exactly no angel. It will upset both of them when I walk outta here, but that's just too bad for their wretched asses."
"If all that's true, Ranma, why are you still here?" Akane asked.
"Because I, unlike my old man, pay my debts!" Ranma answered with more than a little heat. "And I owe you more than I can say. Tendo-ke is the first place that I could call home. I have you and your sisters to thank for that. The other reason is that someone's gotta see to it that you can finish high school."
"That's not your job, Ranma," Akane said. She would have said more, but Onna-Ranma cut her off with a wave.
"Who else is going to do it? Do you really think that your old man will come up with the money? Or mine? No? Then that leaves me, don't it?"
Akane began to realize that Onna-Ranma was telling the truth and she clapped both hands over her mouth as she stared at her dripping wet fiancé in horror. "That doesn't make you my slave, Ranma."
"In a way it does, Akane. It means that I'm-what do they call that kind of thing-indentured to ya. I'm basically your indentured servant until after you graduate school. You got dragged into this mess because I was here. That makes the consequences my responsibility. Your missin' school is one of the consequences that I hafta pay for."
"You're nothing like your father, Ranma," Kasumi said somewhat mollified. Her voice was almost, but not quite regretful.
"I'm more like him than I like, Kasumi-san. The difference between me and him is that I have a keen respect for the truth, and I ain't delusional like your dad."
Kasumi chirped as she tried stifle a full bellied laugh, but failed. Akane stared at her older sister with confusion and dismay.
"What's going on around here that I don't know about?" Akane asked.
"I ain't gonna tell ya, Akane," Onna-Ranma answered. "You'll either figger it out on your own or you won't. Meanwhile, enjoy your innocence while you still can. My advice, is to not pry until after you graduate. You got enough to worry about as it is."
Akane felt Kasumi's hug tighten. "He's right, Akane. You really should focus on your studies."
Akane was now thoroughly upset. "But-but-I want an explanation for all of this. Only a week ago everyone was eager to have Ranma and me married. Now, all of a sudden, that's not to be? Why?"
"Because I have decided to face my parents on this one, Akane," Onna-Ranma said, his face was as stony as Akane had ever seen it. She remembered that Ranma's appearance was much the same after he decided to go all out against Saffron. "You and I haven't been told the full truth, only part of it. What I learned yesterday put a very bad taste in my mouth."
Akane felt a chill begin in the pit of her stomach, rush to the top of her head, making her scalp tingle, then it just as quickly rushed to the soles of her feet, making her toes feel numb and funny. "What did you learn, Ranma?"
"You don't really want to know," Onna-Ranma answered. "You should just focus on your studies and let me deal with it."
Akane opened her mouth to speak, but Onna-Ranma cut her off with a wave of his hand. "Just believe in me one more time, Akane. That's all I'm askin' of ya."
Kasumi's gave Akane a squeeze. "He's right. You really should let him deal with it while you endeavor to finish your schooling."
"Why should I?" Akane demanded. "Why?"
"For starters, I gave up on my own schooling so that you and Nabiki could finish yours. If you don't finish school, that spoils all the efforts I've made." Kasumi answered sharply. "Ranma really and truly does not have a prayer of finishing school in the normal way. This is Japan, Akane. Our education system is the single most rigid thing about our society. You need to work your little behind off so that you will finish your schooling on time. If you don't, that will be the end for you."
"Why is that, Kasumi?"
"Because if you don't," Onna-Ranma interjected, the only job you'll be able to get is waitin' tables in a restaurant, or a bar, Akane. You think the guys at Furinkan are perverts, wait'll ya hafta deal with the salarymen who eat at the restaurants around here."
"I hear that the red lantern joints are even worse, little sister," Kasumi chimed in after giving Onna-Ranma a grateful nod.
"How do you know that, Kasumi?" Akane asked.
"Akiko Tanaka told me after she took a job in one. Do you remember her?"
Akane nodded her head. Akiko had been a year or so older than Kasumi both of her parents died while she was in high school.
"She told me to never consider working in a bar ever. She said that some women even allow themselves to be pawed in those places and that it pays very well, but after you get past the age of twenty, the number of men who are interested in you falls off dramatically."
"I gather she gave that a try."
Kasumi answered by widening her eyes and nodding.
"Okay, but how are you going to come up with so much money, Ranma? Are you going to work in a bar for tips?"
Onna-Ranma gave his ex-fiancé a grim smile. "Not hardly. I'll just do more of what I've done in the past to get Nabiki off of my back."
"I've been wondering about that. What have you been doing to pay Nabiki off?"
"Just never you mind, Akane. I'll be careful and no, it won't involve me letting perverts paw my girl type. You can rest easy on that score."
"So your not going to pose nude for in front of Nabiki's camera?"
Onna-Ranma snorted as though she was revolted by the thought. "Nah! Not even that."
Akane decided that it was time to be appeased and cut back now before things got out of hand again. Nabiki would know and Nabiki could be bought. She would take it up with her middle sister when neither Ranma nor Kasumi was around to see or hear the conversation. "I suppose I'll just have to cut my losses then. I accept your proposal, Ranma."
"It's for the best, Akane," Kasumi said with a catch in her throat.
"I-I need to lie down for a little while," Akane said. She walked across the yard and stepped up onto the engawa, disappearing into the house.
Kasumi waited until Akane was out of sight and out of earshot before addressing Onna-Ranma. "My apologies for throwing that dirty water on you, Ranma."
"S'okay. I've had worse."
"I don't doubt that you have. You have fallen into the drainage canals on a regular basis since you've been here."
"Yeah, I guess I have a time or two. So has Shit-daddy."
"And the two of you tracked that unsanitary water all over my freshly scrubbed floors."
Onna-Ranma knowing that he was guilty looked sheepish.
"I now forgive you for all of that-not your father, but you, Ranma Saotome."
"I am grateful for your forgiveness, Kasumi. Looking back on everything that has happened. I don't know how you put up with the two of us all this time."
"I'd be lying if I tossed it off as a trivial matter. You and your father added untold misery to my already difficult condition here."
"I'm sorry about that-all of it."
"I accept your apology, Ranma. You just now made up for all of that work and agony you and your father have put me through. Did you mean what you said to Akane?"
"Are you prepared to take the word of a professional thief?"
"You aren't exactly a thief, Ranma."
"The law doesn't see it that way. So what I steal from other thieves? As far as the law is concerned, I'm still a thief."
"I do not propose to stand here and debate the grey vagaries of the law with you, Ranma. What I want to know is will you indeed help Akane with her schooling expenses?"
"Yes. I will help her."
"Good. I suggest you get a bath and then get out of here before our fathers return from their so-called training trip. Oh, I'm sorry. You were planning to move out, am I right?"
"Why, yes I was, Kasumi. How did you guess?"
"Oh, a little bird told me."
"A little bird. Yeah, right," Onna-Ranma muttered to herself as Kasumi marched back towards the main house. "I guess I had better hurry like Kasumi says. There's no tellin' when the three old farts will be home again."