Train of Thoughts

by X-Ray

Continuation fic after 24th tv episode.

2. Chapters 4-7

Train Of Thoughts

Chapter 4

Standard Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned and copyrighted by Gainax,
all characters used from that series are theirs. All names are (TM) and (C) by
their respective owners.

I've never written long texts in English , and this is my first try to write a
fan fiction .

Feel free to send any comment , suggestion , flame , job opportunity etc. etc.
This is a revised version , now I have two pre-readers !

That's incredible but , I guess , it isn't enough : even if EBJ ( the Space
Black God
of Prereading ) , and the new entry James Edwards help me a lot , starting
from the pile of trash that is my draft , some errors could escape , so you've
been warned ...

If you like ToT , thank them as well , so I can continue writing ...

r.giammanco@datastudio.it
e.barone@flashnet.it
theanimeotaku@hotmail.com

One last note : My home page is on http://members.xoom.com/fantasticare .

I know I said I wouldn't use Xoom , Geocities or similar things , but , due
to technical reasons , my provider can't accept home page for a while , so..

In this page , heavy under costruction , you can find the revised version of my
fics . Jump on it , and drop me a line if you like it.

Well , Take a seat , and enjoy yourselves .

_____________________The need to lie/Don't get Discouraged____________________




Inside the Nerv facilities , all the personnel who met Rei were amazed seeing
her dressed like that . Some girls even made her compliments , and she was able
to thank them in a more natural way she thought she could ever had . She
went to the Nerv accommodation office and asked for the head of it .

emp: "Yes , tell me , pilot Ayanami."

He was a bit surprised too , and he had some trouble to convince himself that
that cute girl was , in fact , the impassible one he was used to see wandering
the Nerv base.

Rei: "I'd like to move to a new place."

emp: "Is there something wrong with your old apartment?"

Rei: "Yes , It's getting louder and louder there , and I can't sleep the
night."

That wasn't really a lie , but wasn't entirely the truth : she had never had any
problems falling asleep..

emp: "Well.. Tokyo-3 is nearly empty now , and I can find any place you could
want , but I need Commander Ikari authorization. He's in charge of you ,
you know."

Rei: "Very well. Give me the forms and I'll bring them to him."

emp: "Here you are. Oh! To make things faster , can you tell me where you'd
like to stay ? I can prepare the documents while you're away."

Rei stood silent for a few second , then spoke : "I'd like to live in the same
building of Major Katsuragi."

The employee arched an eye-brown : "Really? There are better places where I
could place you.." , 'Well , anything is better than your old house..'

Rei: "Major's building will be fine. I'll be back with the forms signed as
soon
as I can catch the Commander."

emp: "Yes.. I know he's very busy lately.."

'What is he doing anyway? Isn't the war finished? Bah!'
...

Outside the door , Rei let out a sigh.. Now it would come the worst part.. To
face commander Ikari.. She checked the wristwatch : it was 10:00 am .
The test would start at 11:00 , so she had to act quickly .. She put the forms
inside the bag and moved to Commander Ikari office .
But they told her he was in a holomeeting with Fuyutsuki.

"I think he'll need another couple of hours.." the guard told her , who was
looking
at her with a live interest .. 'Man! She's really cute dressed like that ! It's
a
pity she's only fourteen , or I'd be tempted to ask her out!' .

Rei couldn't do anything else there , so she slowly headed towards Ibuki's lab ,
in the depths of Nerv base . 'I'd liked to ask him before seeing lt. Ibuki. She
reports to him during my test , while I can't do anything ... maybe that could
be an idea. I could give the forms to her , so she could speak to the
Commander in my place . There's nothing strange : I can't reach him , so I asked
lt. Ibuki . I don't think he'll grow suspicious . But it's better if I don't act
strangely in front of her.' She hadn't realized yet that she was , in fact ,
already very different from her old self..

She entered the room , filled with machines and electronic devices , while Maya
was sipping a cup of coffee looking at some results.

Rei: "Lt. Ibuki."

Maya raised an hand , still reading the printout and waved at her .

May: "Good morning, Rei . You're early , and besides , I got a promotion . Now
I'm a Captain . No big deal , anyway.."

Then she turned to face her saying : "Well , we could start anyway , remove
yo.."

Her voice went dead and her eyes widened . She was speechless while Rei
approached the divisor and started undressing. When Maya recovered , she asked
Rei in a shocked tone : "Where .. Where did you find that dresses?"

Rei: "Major Katsuragi bought it for me."

May: "Oh.. How kind of her.."

Rei: ".."

Maya seemed absorbed into her thoughts , when Rei emerged totally naked from the
divisor and headed to the other room , where there was a bed and an hundred of
sensors and devices , needles and so on .

She lied on the bed and waited patiently . After a few minutes , Maya snapped
back to reality and started to work on her subject , recording on a small
device ..

May: "Thursday,29. 10:25 am . Starting analysis of subject three . The
readings are within the normal values. Hemoglobin level is satisfactory .
Beginning tissue sampling.."

..

After an hour , during which Rei was pierced by countless needles , Maya spoke
to her through the inter-phone . "Very well , Rei. We're done . Wait as usual
until the automatic scanning system finishes it's job . I've made some
improvements and it will take only forty minutes . I'm going to see Commander
Ikari."

Rei: "Captain?"

May: "Yes? Is there anything wrong?"

Rei: "In my purse there are some forms I'd like the Commander to see and sign.
I haven't been able to see him before coming here and later I must report
to Major Katsuragi. Could you bring them to him?"

Maya was a bit surprised by the request. But she didn't find anything wrong with
it . Instead she looked with compassion at that naked body , treated like a
guinea pig , and replied with a soft voice : "Of course , I will."
Saying so , she opened the bag picking the forms .. 'How unusual ! A walkman!'
I'd never thought Rei liked music..' Then she left.

Rei sighed : "Now I can only hope that all goes well.."

...

Commander office . Commander Ikari was now reading the reports about the
supplying delays , and he wasn't very pleased . However , when Ibuki was
announced , he dropped everything to face her.

She felt always uneasy in his presence , and that huge and dark office didn't
help either. So she reported as quickly as she could : "Today's test hasn't
shown any sign of decay . The patient's conditions are stationary . The chemical
substances in the blood" "

Ika: "Will she live until the scheduled event?"

Ibu: ".. I don't know sir. Maybe we could start giving her some medicines.."

'and besides , you didn't tell me what is this scheduled event..'

Ika: "That's out of question. Her metabolism mustn't be affected by any
external aid."

Ibu: "Then there is nothing more I can do."

Ika: "Very well. When is the next exam scheduled ?"

May: "On Monday. Her next harmonic test is on Saturday."

Ika: "Keep me informed. Dismissed."

May: "One last thing , Commander."

Ika: "Yes?"

Maya handed him the forms : "Ayanami asked me to bring these to you."

Ikari looked carefully at the forms , then looking at Maya with a cold gaze
over his glasses , he asked : "Why didn't she come in person?"

Maya struggled a bit.. "She told me she couldn't reach you before the start of
the test , and she is still under automatic examination . It'll take another
hour", 'why am I lying to him? I don't like him at all , that's for sure ..' ,
"and later she is scheduled to meet Major Katsuragi."

Ika: "I see. She could've waited to ask me in the afternoon."

May: "I don't know. Maybe she's only trying to save time."

Ika: "Have you read them?"

May: "Well, sir .. It's easy to recognize residence relocation forms.."

Ika: "Has she told you why she would want to leave her old apartment?"

May: "No , sir."

Ika: "I don't see why she should move."

May: "With all due respect , sir , maybe it would be a good thing to her to
move
out of her old apartment . It's not healthy to live in that district .
There are crumpled buildings , and there are rats, mosquitoes and other
animals and insects . I'm sure that living in other place would be better
for her."

Ika: "I see. But why did she decide so all of a sudden?"

May: "I don't know, sir."

Ika: "Very well. Lead the way , I'm going to meet her right away."

May: "Yes , sir. Follow me." , 'Oh man! That's not good! I think I'm in
trouble , and Rei is too!'

...

Back in the laboratory , Rei was silently waiting for the machines to turn off
with her eyes closed , when she heard a voice...

Ika: "Rei. Can you hear me?"

Rei opened slowly her eyes , and turned her face to look at the window , where
she could see the Commander with a worried Ibuki behind him.. "Yes."

Ika: "Captain Ibuki told me you want to move to a new apartment. Is it true?"

Rei: "Yes."

Ika: "Why?"

Rei: "It's getting louder and louder , there . Last night I slept at Major
Katsuragi's and had a good sleep . I'd like to move to a quieter
place ."


Commander Ikari was doubtful . He was used to read the surveillance reports in
the late morning , so he was in the dark about the last day's news .

Ika: "Why did you sleep there?"

Rei: "The Major asked me to ."

Ika: "I see."

The Commander wasn't very sure about the right thing to do , but he was well
aware of Rei's condition. Maybe this would help.'

Ika: "Very well. I will sign them. Where are you going to stay?"

Rei: "I'd like to stay in the same building where the Major lives ."

This was unexpected. Commander Ikari raised an eyebrow : "Why there?"

Rei: "I have been there other times. I've grown used to it."

Ika: "I see. Very well, I'll give the forms to Captain Ibuki. Good work."

Rei closed her eyes and straightened her head saying : "Thank you , Commander."

He signed the forms and then left without saying a word.

Maya was relieved , she could tell there was tension in the Commander's
questions , and that he was worried about something , but it seemed that Rei's
answers worked out. They were very.. Ayanami's style , she thought giggling.

Then she got back at work.

After another twenty minutes , Rei was finally free of her restrains and could
get dressed . Noticing that , Maya told her : "You know , Rei?"

Rei: "What?"

May: "I think you were lucky the Commander didn't see your dress ."

Rei: "Why?"

May: "I think he's worried about your changes.. If he'd find out about all
the news , I don't think he'd sign them.."

Rei: "But the Commander reads the surveillance reports. He knows."

Maya shook her head : "He's very busy in these days . Maybe he doesn't read
them at all . But I'm sure he's reading them just now. So if I were you , I'd
run to the Accommodation office and get my new apartment."

Rei seemed unaffected by that reasoning. She finally got dressed , picked the
forms and left saying : "Good morning , Captain ."

...

Meanwhile , Commander Ikari was reading carefully the last day's reports , but
he didn't find anything interesting : Rei had slept at Katsuragi's , but it
wasn't really strange . Even that out-city trip wasn't suspect : the
conversation they had picked up with microphones suggested that it had been for
a party , and he knew well how the Major loved them. It had been a while since
she had had one. So he reassured himself adjusting his glasses. If only he had
seen Rei's dress and her behavior towards others !

...

Rei walked pretty fast to the Accommodation office, where she found the head-
employee pretty surprised that the Commander hadn't denied the request. He had
told her that he would''ve find a place for her , but he hadn't done anything
yet.
So he was a bit embarrassed , and asked her : "Well , the building is
almost totally empty. Where would you like to stay ? There is a good place right
next to Major Katsuragi's apartment. It's never been used , so it's like new.
What do you think about it?"

'I'll be next to him!' Her heart started beating faster , but her face remained
impassible : "I think it'll do just fine."

emp: "Okay. Let me contact the right agency.."

It took a while , but finally he handed her a key card and some folders :

emp: "Don't loose them . They're very important. Oh , and one last thing . The
apartment is completely unfurnished . Usually we take care of it , but if
you want , I can give you a cash-card : you'll be able to buy the things
you like . Usually it's not very much , but in your case I'll do
an exception : the place is pretty big , and it would look pretty
desolate if only half furnished . Besides.. people keep leaving
the city in these times.."

Rei thanked him ( he was very surprised but managed to reply ) and took what the
man handed her. Once outside , she asked herself what to do next. She had told
Ibuki she was meeting Katsuragi , so she thought it would've been best to go and
meet her .

After all , she was the one who bought her new dress..

Misato was reading some reports about the possibility to restore unit-00 . There
wasn't much left , but Maya suggested that the core be dumped into MAGI , and
that it would be less expensive to restore it rather than build a new one .
Misato wasn't very pleased reading that report , especially because the
Commander had agreed and assigned top priority to this project. The remaining
limbs of the unit-00 were already located into an isolated cage and being
treated with some hormonal stuff..

Mis: "Why does he want three units functional again , If we don't have more
than one pilot? I'm sure that Shinji would never accept to pilot again his
unit , and Rei could use unit-02. There is something wrong here.. And I
don't like the fact he isn't asking Shinji to do tests .. Only Rei is
undergoing the usual harmonic and sync tests..'"

Her train of thoughts was interrupted by a slight knock on her door :

Mis: "Yes ,come in."

She lifted her eyes when the visitor closed the door behind himself , waiting
for her . What she saw was unexpected : "Rei?!?" Her jaw nearly fell on her
desk . She blushed a bit : "I'd like thank you for buying me this dress ,
Major.
Shinji told me it is wonderful."

Misato recovered and replied : "Shinji told you that? He's an idiot."

Rei: "Idiot? Why?"

Mis: "A dress doesn't make a queen. It's you who looks wonderful."

Rei blushed another bit and spoke lowly : "Well, he said so."

Misato smiled : "That's better . He's not as stupid as he may seem . By the
way, you are very pretty dressed like that . You should go shopping more
often ."

Rei: "I don't know if I can afford that."

Mis: "I wouldn't worry . At least , Shinji's has enough money , he just
doesn't use it often .. Asuka instead used to go shopping with her credit
car very often.. anyway , do you need anything else? I don't want to sound
rude , but I have some work to finish."

Rei: "Well, I'd like to ask you to help me to buy some furniture."

Mis: "Furniture? For your apartment?"

Rei: "To be exact, for my new apartment. I was assigned to live next your
door." "

With that , she handed the folders and the card to an astonished Misato . She
read them and raised her head to face Rei : "I can't believe it! You have done
all by yourself! The Commander gave his permission! Was it an idea of yours?"

Rei: "Actually , Ikari suggested me to change house. I've only followed his
suggestion."

Mis: "But you've accomplished it in a incredible way! Well .. It's time to go
shopping.. and look at this limit ! We can buy a lot of things, even
some other dresses!"

Rei was a bit surprised : "But, Major.. You told me you had some work to do.."

Mis: "Shopping always goes first. I can always come back here later in
the
afternoon. Now let's go!"

And so she pushed Rei outside the door . Misato's mood was quite high in the
next few hours , and so her car's speed.. to the utmost desperation of the Nerv
surveillance teams..

...

After they finished eating , Kensuke , Shinji and Hikari left the house heading
to the Nerv hospital ; Hikari asked Shinji about what Rei had told her , and he
was surprised listening how she had acted towards Hikari .. But he really
didn't have much time to think about it because he had to explain the situation
to Hikari. Meanwhile , Kensuke was fighting with his camera , trying to turn
on some particular feature..

After Shinji finished explaining his plan to Hikari , he asked Kensuke : "So ,
have you found anything useful on the net?"

Ken: "Yes , some ways to replace the output of a microphone with an
prerecorded
one. But this would need some particular devices and the absence of
spy-cameras. So the first thing to do is to blind them ."

Shi: "How do we do that without having them suspect anything?"

Ken: "Well.. If the camera is near a table , and you put a vase in front of it
blinding it's view , that could be seen as a normal action. You would do
it to put some flowers you brought into it.. You must act normally , doing
things like that . So first of all we blind the cameras , and then we have
to record at least four or six hours of environmental sounds , from
different points , most likely near the real microphones.."

Hik: "It doesn't look like an easy task.."

Ken: "Hell, no! This is the worst thing I could imagine!"

Shi: "But we have to."

Ken: ".."

Hik: ".."

Ken: "Well.. we need two or three tape recorders.. Do you have any money?"

Shi: "I've got my credit card.."

Ken: "If you think they are spying us , we could do like this : I need some
tapes for my camera , so we can enter an electronic shop. I'll buy what
can be used like a detector , while the class rep can buy the recorders .
So you'll buy the tapes , I'll buy the devices and the class rep the
recorders. I have some cash with me , while you can give your credit card
to Horaki."

Shi: "But they will watch what we're doing !"

Ken: "No , if we split and wander a bit in different places.. so it's better
to
find a big mall.."

Hik: "It won't be easy.. they're almost all closed.."

Shi: "What about the Central Hall?"

Ken: "Yes , I guess that could be a nice idea.. besides , nearby it there is a
small shop where a guy I know well works.. he could help me."

Shi: "But won't they follow you?"

Ken: "I don't think so : they are after you , not after me or Horaki.. It'll
be
alright."

Shi: "If you are sure.." "

Hik: "Then we have to take the train.."

...

A few minutes later , the two security Nerv's men had some problems..

Man1: "Wait , they are splitting!"

Man2: "What do you expect, in a shopping mall? Maybe they are buying different
things.."

Man1: "What do we do now?"

Man2: "It's simple , I'll stay here , you'll follow commander's son ."

Man1: "Why me?"

Man2: "Who's the one who arrived late at his shift?"

Man1: "Damn.. Okay , I'll go.."

It wasn't difficult to follow him : he bought some tapes for the camera , and
then wandered a bit , stopping to buy some red roses . Half a dozen . He
continued wandering until 11:00 , when he met the others two kids at the back
exit. He called his colleague with the radio to pick him up. Then they started
following the trio again.

...

When Hikari saw what Shinji was carrying , she didn't know what to think..

Hik: "I.. Ikari?"

Shinji turned to face her : "Oh! Class rep ! Have you seen Kensuke ? It's almost
time.."

Hikari didn't bother to respond , still looking to the roses ..

Shinji followed her gaze , and looking in his right hand , he raised the bunch
to his chest , smiling : "Have you noticed ? I've seen these wonderful roses and
I didn't resist : they are the very same color of Asuka's unit and plug-suit !
I'm sure she'll go crazy for them!"

Hik: 'Is he serious?'

"Why did you buy roses?"

Shinji looked at her narrowing his eyes : "Why shouldn't I had to buy some
flowers to her?"

Hik: "But why roses?" , 'red roses!'

Shi: "What's the matter?"

Hik: "Why not .. cyclamens.. or .. why roses?"

Shinji scratched is back : "Well.. it's the first time I ever bought some
flowers for someone.. I've thought the roses were the best choice.."

Hik: "So you bought the roses only because 'it's cool?'"

Shi: "Well.. I wanted to buy some flowers , and I chose the roses .. again ..
what's the matter?"

Now Shinji was growing upset..

Hik: "Nothing.. Nothing.."

'Perhaps he doesn't know that red roses mean I love you..'

She imagined the scene : Asuka grabs the roses , looks at them shocked , looks
at
Shinji who is smiling like an idiot.. and then she kills him.. literally..

Shi: "Erh.. Class rep? What's so funny?"

Hikari was infact laughing wildly..

Hik: "No.. Nothing.. I remembered a joke.. look! Kensuke is coming this way.."

Then they started walking together .

Shinji whispered : "Hikari , have you bought them?"

Hik: "Erh.. Yes.. But they were rather expensive.."

Shi: "Eh?"

Hik: "This is the bill.."

Shi: "Oh my G"

Ken: "Shut up! Remember , it's for Asuka!"

Shinji nodded , looking sadly at the bill. 'Misato'll kill me when I'll ask her
for a loan...'"

Ken: "Anyway , I've got great news! The guy back in the store had some piece
from
the black-market.."

Shinji was about to shout: "Blac" when Hikari slapped his head in the back
while Kensuke elbowed him in the ribs .

Shi: "Ouch! Okay! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Ken: "You can be so dense sometimes , Shinji. Anyway, I've found
something very interesting. We have built a device that can locate
wireless microphones."

Shi: "And what if there are normal ones?"

Ken: "Oh , come on! They are ancient history! The wireless ones are more
useful and
practical. Only the cameras are sometimes not wireless , because they
would be too expensive . Anyway, this time today we'll find the
microphones and take note of their frequency, recording the sounds of the
room. Then I'll build a device to playback the tapes with the same
frequency , so we'll be able to fool them."

Shi: "I was thinking.. what if the sound and the images aren't synchronized?
If
a nurse comes in and in the tape there isn't anything and vice versa?"

Ken: "It's simple , we must blind the cameras for good, and try to record
a typical day in her room.. nurses , doctors and so on.."

Shi: "But a normal tape could only record up to 360 minutes.."

Hik: "Well.. I've bought the new HDAT digital recorder , with that new
hardware
compression.."

Shi: "What! That's why the bill was so high! But why d"

Kensuke looked like he'd suddenly gone insane : he stopped walking , stepped
behind
Hikari , hugged her from behind and lifted her in the air.. She started
screaming , while
Kensuke was laughing evilly , and Shinji simply looked at them

Ken: "MwAhaha! Class rep! You're a genius! Genius!"

Hik: "Eeek! Kensuke! Let me go! Argh!!"

He let her go and she hide herself behind Shinji .

Ken: "Can't you understand? With that recorder we can record at a low
quality , like the sound pickedup by the microphones , and record up to
twenty-four hours!"

Shinji's face lightened and he told Kensuke : "Give me five!" They were almost
dancing
together , when Hikari said : "Ehm.. That reminds me.. maybe I should have
bought the
tapes too.."

Both the kids stopped dancing looking at her , big sweat drops on their heads..

Hik : "Sorry.."

So Kensuke left them to buy the disks , while they entered a snack shop to buy
some chocolates .

Hik: "Why are we buying some chocolates?"

Shi: "I want to give them to a person.."

Hik: "To a girl?"

Shi: "Yes, I mean , no! It's not the way you are thinking!"

Hik: "Speak clearly , Ikari!" "

Said an angry Hikari posing her hands on her hips..

Shi: "Well.. they are for the nurse who looks after Asuka.. I told you .. I've
convinced her to help us.. She won't give her any sedative .. but we must
get her out of her depressive state..."

Hikari listened to him carefully ; "So you want to buy her help with some
chocolates , uh?"

Shi: "That wasn't ... I was thinking about a present for her .. she seems such
a good nurse.."

Hik: "So, flowers for Asuka , and chocolates for the nurse , uh? Be cautious ,
Ikari , or Asuka'll kick you out of your skin! I don't even want to think
when
she'll find out that Ayanami slept in her room.."

Shinji was clearly sweating.. "Erh.. I mean.. If you don't tell her .. She'll
never know it.. right?"

Hik: "You have to do something to buy my silence.. like buying me that
wonderful ice-cream!"

Shi: "uh? Do you want to became fat?"

Hikari became red like a tomato : "Mind your own business , Ikari ! And buy me
that damned ice-cream!"

"Well .. it's your body , not mine.." , Shinji said ordering one .

Hik: "Oh yes? Waiter , please another ice-cream!"

Shi: "WHAT!"

Hik: "Do you want to eat two of them , Ikari?"

Shi: ".."

Hik: "Very good."

They were consuming their ice creams when Kensuke come back: "Eating ice-cram ,
eh? I was running around to buy the tapes and they are eating like a couple
of sweet-hearts !"

Shinji choked , while Hikari went red. They started saying something when
Kensuke left heading to the hospital mumbling about stupidity and hormones .

They stood and followed him , still eating their ice-creams.

Hik: "Do you think we'll have any problem to visit Asuka?"

Shi: "I don't see why. Haven't you visited Toji?"

Hik: "Yes, but he wasn't in the Nerv's section of the hospital.."

Shinji stopped dead in his steps : "He.. He wasn't there? That.. That means..
He's not a pilot anymore.."

Ken: "We're you expecting something else?"

"Well.. The Nerv section is .. better .. for any kind of treatment.. I.. I
can't believe it.. I'll ask Misato to do something.." He quickly got his
phone and called Misato , who was fighting with her reports just now.. She
was really pissed off , so she turned off her phone without even bothering
to look who was calling.

Shi: "Damn! She doesn't answer.. Wait! She's switched off her phone! Misato ,
Argh!"

Ken: "Hey! Take it easy , man! You can always ask her this evening!" ,
besides, I don't think they could do anything more for him..' , Now we
have all the necessary , even a bunk of roses to blind that camera you
talked about!"

Shi: "Well.. I bought these roses for Asuka.. You know.."

Kensuke grew a big sweatdrop.. while Hikari was murmuring "what an insensitive
boy..".

Hik: 'Well.. To tell the truth , you too are an idiot , Shinji . Buying red
roses.. Things are pretty screwed up , up to now : Ayanami is.. more
communicative , and I can tell she likes you.. I'm happy for her , but I'm
worried about Asuka.. Will she ever admit she likes you , loves you as
well ? What exactly is an human hearth ? What are our emotions ? Could
really
exist the true love ? Why do couple that had sworn to love each other
get divided after a couple of years ? What is it inside us ?'

Her expression darkened , but the others didn't notice : they were deep in
thoughts , altought of a different nature ..

Hik: 'I don't know.. I'm only fourteen.. but I like Toji.. Do I love him? What
is love ? Ah.. I wish somebody could give me some answers.. I can
distingue between physical attraction and other feelings.. I like Toji
because he is a caring boy : he cares about his sister , he even became a
pilot to protect her.. I think I like him because he is so.. He makes feel
me protected , at ease.. Even when he acts like a dork.. I think it is in
man's nature.. There is nothing I can do.. And , besides.. Can I think of
changing him , to make him different from his true himself? That wouldn't
be
fair.. If I love him , I must love him for what he is , not for what I
want him to be.. Still.. What is love? What does Asuka want from a man?
What does Ayanami want from Shinji? Aren't we too young to think about
love? Once , I read in the net someone from the old Europe writing : "I
can't understand the Japanese.. I read a lot of manga , I see a lot of
anime , and I see how a lot of marriage starts from the primary school. I
don't understand this . Maybe for them , a deep knowledge of each
other is of fundamental importance ? I can't understand. It's beyond my
ability to understand .". Maybe this is due to our social system.. but can
the environment modify that way the human soul? If we were in another
country..
what could it happen? What if we were in the old Europe , or in another
time ? Would I like Toji? Oh.. I don't know.. I don't know what to think..
I
only want to see his eyes.. I only want to touch his hands.. I'm worried
about
him.. Will he change? His physical menomations , could affect his soul ?
He's a strong boy.. but.. but he won't ever run , again.. he won't be able
to play with his sister.. Oh.. God! Why! Why could you allow innocent
people to suffer ? Why ! They say : you must accept the pains.. you will
be rewarded in the heaven .. But what if the heaven doesn't exist ? Why
are we suffering? Why? But.. if the angel exists.. beings beyond our
imagination.. then.. does God exist ? Oh.. What can I do ?'

They finally got there , and Shinji asked at the reception if he could see Miss
Koraki , and they told him she was on duty right now , but that probably she
would check Asuka soon. So they headed to the room . Kensuke was filming every
thing.

Shi: "Do you really need to film into a hospital?"

Ken: "Shut up , I've my reasons to act so."

When they entered the room , they found the nurse , Ai Koraki , checking Asuka .
Immediately Kensuke started filming wildly every thing , saying , "Wow!" ,
Incredible" , Unbelievable!" . Hikari ran to Asuka's side and started crying ,
while Shinji , having put the roses and his other parcels on the table , grabbed
the nurse and drew her outside . She was very surprised , and while being
pulled by Shinji she started saying : "Hey! Kids! What do you think you're"

Shi: "Miss Koraki.."

Nur: "Who are they?"

Shi: "They are friends of mine and of Asuka. I thought they could help.."

A loud THUD!' and an "AIDA! What are you doing!" were suddenly heard coming
from the room.

Shinji scratched the back of his head.. "Well.. He's an overactive guy.."

Nur: "Well.. They can't be of any harm to her... but why you want to speak
outside?"

Shi: "Ehr.. I wanted to .. to ask you .. how to ask how use that automatic
drinking vendor machine !"

Nur: "Whaaa?"

Shinji pulled her to the machine and started searching his pockets for some
coins.. "The room is under control . I've found a camera , sort of .. , and
I'm sure there are a lot of microphones. I don't know if they've heard our last
conversation , but I don't want to give them other information.."
The Nurse smiled a bit : "My dear Shinji , I don't think they've heard it ,
because
I'm still here , and yesterday evening" , she continued lowering he voice, "I
didn't give her the sedative's ratio" ."

Shinji said worried : "You what?! They've seen you! That's sure!"

Nur: "Don't worry! It's not a thing that could be discovered so easily! The
medicines are given to a patients like Asuka by IV means .
You must put them into the physiological solution with a syringe . So ,
you must use the syringe to drow the medicine from its phyal . It's not
difficult to exchange a Vitamin C phyal with another , and that's
impossible to see from an hidden camera."

Shinji admired her courage and said : "Then ..all I've done was unneeded.."

Nur: "Not really.. Soon the effect of the lack of sedatives would be clear ,
and that would be noticed , first by the doctors and then by them . If
Asuka , when she's back to her senses , cooperates , we can try to trick
the doctors , but she must act like being dazed . To tell the truth , even
if she tries to fake , a doctor can easily find our that she hasn't been
sedated.. you can't modify your reflexes , your heart rate , your
parameters at your own will.."

Shinji was anguished .." What can we do then? We can try to disturb the doctor
while he's visiting her.."

Nur: "It's not a good idea. He'll have you thrown out of the hospital. But
there is a possibility.."

So she walked away followed by Shinji. She asked some paper to the
information desk and checked the time-schedule . Then , smiling , she dropped
everything and headed to the room. When she was sure nobody was listening , she
said to Shinji : "We are lucky . Most likely , the doctor that will visit Asuka
for the next week , is Doc. Goto ."

Shi: "And so? We can ask him for help?"

Koraki negated with her index finger : "No , No. He's very old , say 60-65
years old , but he's still a pig." ." Shinji frowned : "So?" "

Kor: "Well.. the last time I assisted him in a visit , he was doing an
inspection with too much emphasis on the chest of a young girl.." "

"That doesn't help.. But I hope he didn't do anything to Asuka! If he
visited already her , I" ", his anger was clearly raising , but the Nurse
reassured him : "He's been in holiday up to now . Today his is first shift , in
the next few hours . It's too early to see some improvements , but I can try and
see if I can distract him while he's visiting her.."

Shinji arched an eye-brown.. "Distract?"

Nur: "Well , make some moves on him , purr like a cat , stroking his back ,
things like these..."

Shinji was turning red , and lowered his head : "I can't ask you to do this for
us.. Well.. I've asked things that could make you fired.. But I don't think I
can allow you to do this for us. We'll find another way ."

Koraki smiled : "Don't worry , my little Shinji. I want do something for that
girl.. And I won't allow the doctor to do anything to me .. Say , something like
look but don't touch..", she started laughing.. "When I'll tell to Ami!"

Shinji raised suddenly his head : "No! You must not tell to" "

Kor: "anybody. I know. I was just kidding. Anyway.. That's my plan. What do
you
think about it?"

Shi: "I think.. I'll owe this to you for all my life.."

Kor: "Don't make promise you don't know you can keep , my little kid. Just say
thanks."

Shi: "Well , Thanks Miss Koraki."

The nurse smiled and headed for the room . Shinji followed slowly .. 'What do I
have to do .. It was a good idea to buy her chocolates .. At last as a gift
to thank her..'

He closed the door behind him , looking at the little earthquake that had
happened
inside .. The table that was standing at the right of the door , at the corner
with the right wall, was now standing on the opposite corner , on the other side
of the room with a vase over it holding the roses he had bought. They were
disposed so to block the view of the supposed camera.. He quickly turned to look
at Kensuke , who was expecting that . He grinned evilly , and then he continued
to film every single square centimeter of the room.. Hikari was sitting on a
chair next to Asuka's left side holding her hand and speaking quietly to her ,
even if she was apparently sleeping..

The nurse seemed confused , but before she could do or say anything , Shinji
grabbed a parcel , and extracted the box of chocolates , handing it to her..

"Miss Koraki.. this is a present for you.. to thank you for what are you
doing for us.. for Asuka.". Kensuke stopped taping and turned to look , so did
Hikari.

The Nurse was very confused.. She picked the box and crossed her arms pressing
it against her chest. "Th.. Thank you. It was very kind of you..." Hikari made
her voice audible : "He's taking a bad path . He think he's a playboy!"
Kensuke started laughing hysterically , but stopped when the Nurse bent down in
front of Shinji and kissed him on the forehead. Hikari was speechless ,
while Kensuke was mumbling something.. "Maybe I've always done it wrong , I
must
act more nonchalantly ..".' Shinji , was , in fact quite surprised , but very
amused : 'Wow! A lot of luck with women , in these days! Maybe I should try
some hit at the pachinkos..' Then the nurse left ,saying she would came back in
time to check the doctor..

Shinji was touching his forehead , while Kensuke was rambling : "I can't
believe it ! He's getting all the fun , and I'm doing all the dirty jobs!
Argh!!"
Hikari was restless moving Asuka's arms. That caught Shinji's attention: "Uhm..
Hikari.. What are you doing?"

Hik: "Can't you guess? I'm giving some exercises to Asuka."

Shi: "Exercises?"

Hik: "Are you blind and deaf? She's been in this bed for too much time . Her
muscles are going to atrophy. We must help her these minor things too.."

Shi: "I'm sorry , class rep.. I had no idea that.."

Hik: "If you were listening to the lecture back in class , you'd know it."

Shi: "Really?"

Hikari rolled her eyes to the ceiling : "Why I even bother to speak to you!
Sometimes I think Asuka's right when she calls you baka!"

Shi: "Hey! I'm not a baka!"

Hik: "Then don't act like a baka!"

Shi: "Humph!"

Kensuke was back at work , dropping the camera on the table and pulling from a
bag a strange device , then checking the walls with it.

Shinji came closer to Asuka and looked closer at her : Her eyes were
closed , but deep traces of black circled them . Her eyelashes were pasted
with solid humor , while a little stream of saliva was flowing from the right
corner of her mouth.. From time to time , she slightly moved her eyelids , like
she was going to awake.. All in her scared him : there was no trace of her
strenght , of her will , of her usual being .. Her beautiful hair was in an even
worse
state than the first time he saw her .. it was all plastered with sweat , and
all
her body was smelling bad.. 'Even if they change the sheet every day , they
don't wash her.. why didn't Ms. Koraki do anything to help her?'

Shi: "Class rep."

Said Shinji lowering his voice .

Hik: "Yes?"

Shi: "We must bring Asuka to take a bath."

Hik: "A bath?"

Shi: "Can't you see her? She doesn't deserve to be like this!"

Hikari looked sadly down at her dear friend and nodded : "Yes , but how can we
do?"

Shi: "I'll get a wheel chair and look for a bathroom. I can't think there
isn't
any without a bath-tub or a shower.."

Hik: "But she is unconscious !"

Shi: "Well.. If we can find a bath tube , we can partially fill it and you can
wash her body and her hair, don't you think?"

Hik: "I.. don't know.. I won't be able to move her body without any help.."

Kensuke , who was now lying under the bed shouted : "Hey! I can help you!" ,
'What are you thinking ? The microphones are still actives!'.
It wasn't a real proposition , in fact Shinji and Hikari didn't bother to reply
at his joke : 'Man , they are deadly serious .. It's better if I continue with
my work.. Here there is another .. the third..'

Shi: "We could ask the nurse.. or we can call Rei.. First , it's better if I
go
out and make a recognition . See you later!"

Shinji left the room closing the door behind him before Hikari could reply ..
she sighed and started to bend Asuka's legs completely forgetting Kensuke's
presence .

Unfortunately , Kensuke chose that moment to raise from under the bed ,
helping himself with it to get on feet . So , when he lifted his head over the
bed's border , he got a full view of Asuka's legs and .. well.. what the
hospital robe didn't hide .. He grew a nosebleed , but he was immediately hit
by a pillow launched at about 327 Kph from a very angry Hikari.. "Aida! I can't
believe you! You're a real dork! Out of here! NOW!"

He didn't have the time to explain , because he was grabbed by his ear and
kicked out of the room.. He had some trouble hiding his electronic device under
his shirt, he was lucky it was very small.. He tried to enter the room , but it
was locked from the inside and the class rep yelled him to get as far away as
possible..

Ken: 'What the hell! I didn't do anything , and look how she treats me! Man ,
she and her devil friend are just alike! Well , luckily I'm done checking
the room..
there are five wireless microphone , and I've noted down their frequency..
Now I can wander around to see if I can find were they are hiding.. Maybe
I can go and visit Toji..'

So , he slowly started to walk , carefully looking every where , than a nurse
asked him if he got lost : "Not really.. It's the first time I am in a
hospital.
Thank you anyway." And ran away..
...

Shinji had some trouble to find the right bathroom for his needs , and it was a
bit far from the room , but it was the only one on that floor.. The main problem
would be passing in front of the information desk of the Nerv section without
been
noticed.. 'Hell, there are three of us, we could hide her from being seen.. So
that's not the real problem , hoping to not encounter doctors and nurses.. We
must wait for a good time .. say about lunch time..'

He then looked better at the bathroom : the bath-tub was in a separated room ,
that almost wasn't large enough for a person that had to wash an unconscious one
,
but that couldn't be helped.. 'Hikari must help herself.. But first it's better
to find a wheel-chair ..'

This was an easy task : near a lift there were plenty of them , so Shinji
decided to wait to pick one. Two problem having been solved , he turned his
attention on the remaining. 'Well, let's see where miss Koraki is.'.

He headed for the information desk , where bad news were awaiting for him : the
nurse was in fact doing her assignment in other parts of the hospital , and she
would be back only to assist Doc. Goto to visit his patients , around 16:00 ."

These weren't good news.. 'I'll have to find someone else .'.' He was now
walking
in circle in front of the bath's door , when another thought hit him : 'I
haven't checked if there is any soap or similar things!' He darted towards the
door, only to find it closed and hitting it with his nose.. "Ouch!"

From behind : "It's occupied! Find another one!"

Shinji , rubbing his nose said : "sorry.." , 'I think a single soap-tablet
would
work..' Then he remembered all the stuff Asuka was used to keep in the
bathroom .. chamomile-shampoo , rose-shampoo , bath-soap , lotions .. 'Damn!
What time is it? It's almost noon.. maybe I can came back home and pick some
things , like some clothes and a towel for her.. Why didn't it occur to me
earlier?
And.. would it look suspicious? Maybe I should ask Kensuke..' , an image of
Kensuke putting one of Asuka's panties onto his head popped into his mind.. 'No
,
he'd never do such a thing..', but still , he didn't find that idea bright..
'Even if they see me , they can't see what I'm doing at home.. at lest I hope!
So they'll think I've forgotten something.. Sure , if they find out we are
bringing Asuka out of the room , that' would mean trouble ..'

He was thinking about it when he saw Kensuke wandering into the corridor :
"Kensuke! What the hell are you doing?"

Kensuke walked to him and started telling him about his little discussion with
the class rep .. So Shinji started laughing, while Kensuke looked pretty upset :
"Ah! Ah! You.. You're right, Kensuke.. It wasn't your fault.. I'll speak to
Hikari and explain her all. Now that I think of it.." , he explained his plan,
which included geeting Rei to help, and finished saying: "So we need your help
sooner
than we expected.. What can you do?" "

Ken: "Well.. we won't be away for a long time , so if we record only an
hour or
so , it will be good.. but the problem is I must build the transmitter ,
and I don't have enough time .. the only solution is : bring out Asuka
making
no noise , while someone else must stay inside faking sleep , making
some noises to not let them suspect anything . I can do it , so I can
start
building the transmitter and recording something."

Shi: "You're great! We must get Hikari outside and explain it her all. Then ,
I
have to go home to pick up something Asuka could need , so it'll be up to
you
to watch over her . Understood?"

Ken: "Yes, sir. Everything you order , sir!"

Shi: "Oh , shut up!"

Ken: "As you wish , sir!" "

Shi: "Sigh.."

A bit later , peace was made between Kensuke and Hikari , with Kensuke still
upset
even after Hikari's apologies , with both of them doing their tasks back in the
room , while Shinji ran home , always followed by a couple of men in black..

He arrived at home about 12:45 , he picked all he decided Asuka could need ,
even bothering to pick her favorite yellow dress .. He put it all into a bag ,
with
a lot of underwear.. 'See, I thought bad about Kensuke , and now I'm getting
bras and panties like it was nothing.. I must look like a real pig..' . Then he
prepared four bento boxes : 'By the time I'll be back at the hospital it'll be
lunch
time..' and then left .

Needless to say , a car followed him on the street , while a man of them
followed him into the train and subway..

In the meanwhile , a very angry Misato was arguing about the curtain's color
into a big mall , under the worried look of a worried Ayanami ..

When he came back to the hospital it was 13:30 , and Misato was trying out a
water
mattress : "Look how cool it is! I've always wanted to buy one !" .To tell the
truth, Misato was buying furniture for her ideal home , but Rei wasn't able to
put up
any objection , perhaps scared by the sacred shopping fire who was clearly
burning into Misato's body and eyes..

When Shinji reached Asuka's room , for the second time in a day , he hit the
door with his nose : Kensuke was doing something delicate , he didn't want
anybody
to see it , so he had closed the door. Then they started eating . It was a
strange
thing : three kids joking and laughing around a bed of a girl who looked like
dead.. Maybe , in their heart , they were acting so to exorcise the situation ,
a way to call back Asuka..

Later , Asuka's bath" mission started .

Shinji turned again his attention to Asuka : "Hikari , did she awake ?"

Hikari sadly shook her head : "It's just like she's having a long dream..
maybe a nightmare , because sometimes she turns wildly in the bed.. But I
couldn't
find the courage to wake her.."

Shi: "Maybe", lowering is voice, "this is an improvement since the last time
I
saw her.. She was like a zombie staring at the ceiling.. It must be the
lack of sedatives. And It's better for us : do you think she'd let us wash
her body?"

Hik: "You're right.. And what about our help? You told me you'd ask Rei.."

Shi: "to tell the truth.." , 'shit , I forgot about it!' , "I wasn't able to
contact her.. I think you are on your own.. I'm sure you'll manage to
handle it.
As you can see, I've brought a lot of things : dresses , soaps , perfumes
and so on."

Hik: "but.."

Shi: "SSst.. I'm going to get the chair. Kensuke , are you alright?"

Ken: "Yeah.. Yeah , let me handle this." "

As always , all was said in a low tone of voice.

Shinji left , and , to his satisfaction , the corridors were almost empty. With
all the nonchalance he could fake , he walked to the lift and grabbed a chair ,
pushing it to the room . This time he passed very near the desk , to hide
the chair. When he reached the door , Hikari silently did as previously planned
:
she pulled the needle outside Asuka's right arm , and pulled the sensor one by
one from her body , putting them in the same place into Kensuke's. Then she
covered her body with a white towel and she gestured Shinji to enter : he
pushed the chair near the bed and lifted Asuka , making her sit into the chair .
Making silently a signal to Kensuke , they left , but first :

"Well, We are leaving , Asuka.. We are wandering near here .We'll came back
within an our."

Outside , Hikari asked : "Do you think they'll buy it?"

Shi: "Yes , at least , whoever is spying Asuka would thing that we three are
outside , and she is in the room. The machines are running normally and
the people in the control room won't notice anything.. I hope."

They didn't have a problem passing by the desk : the nurse was
speaking to her boyfriend offering them the back.. 'What a good thing to do
during the shift' thought with sarcasm Shinji..

They reached the bathroom and closed themselves inside . In the divided room ,
Hikari adjusted the water temperature in the bath-tub , filling it with 30 or
40 centimeters of water , and then asked Shinji to bring Asuka in . She was
still in the usual , plastered hospital clothes , so they didn't care if they
got wet .
Shinji had brought a lot of stuff along with himself in the bathroom .

So , Shinji left the section with the tub and waited in the other ,
cheking if anybody was going to need the bathroom.

Hikari undressed Asuka , and began washing her body : her head was resting
against the wall of the tube , so there wasn't any danger she could inhale
water.
While bathing Asuka , Hikari noticed how her expression was softening .. 'It
must be a pleasurable experience , even in the dream.. I wonder what is she
thinking..' After she had taken care of her body , she turned her attention to
her
head , using a rose-shampoo Shinji said she loved . She was rubbing the soap
over her hair , when Asuka , suddenly , spoke : "Mother? Is it you , Mother?"
"

Hikari froze , she didn't know what to do.. To her horror , Asuka seemed to be
awake , and slowly was turning her head to face her : she had some trouble
getting to seat in the tub , and then she turned her head , a stream of shampoo
over her face . She looked at Hikari who just couldn't breathe , blinking
several
times before getting the picture of the situation .

Asu: "Hi.. Hikari?"

Her surprise quickly turned into anger . The first emotion she felt was rage .
'What is she doing? What does she think she could do to me? I don't need
anything , Anyone! I'm the best! I'm the pilo..' she stopped , her eyes widened
,
her mouth snapped closed .. She began to remember.. the mind-rape , the
explosion of unit-00 , Shinji being sent to help wonder girl .. She grabbed her
head
and started squeezing it .. The bath-tub.. She remembered a bath-tub , filled
with blood , her blood..

Asu: "Argh!!!"

Hik: "Shinji! Shinji! Come here! Com"

Shinji quickly opened the door , and darted inside : he was now standing
behind Hikari , and was seeing Asuka's back , covered with lather..

Shi: "Asuka! Are you okay?"

Asuka stopped breathing.. 'Shinji? Shinji is here? Why? Why am I here? What was
I doing?' Then she looked at her body.. 'O my god! I'm naked! I'm totally
naked!' She didn't bother to think anymore : she picked the first thing she saw
,
a soap tablet and threw it at him . She was very weak , but she threw it with
all the will power she had left... Without any aim , she hit him on the bridge
of
the nose , causing him a real pain .

Asu: "Get , Out , Of , Here , NOWWW!!"

Even Hikari was terrified by this outburst from a person that a few minutes
before was like dead , and she tried to run for safety too , but find a door
closed by a Shinji who was blocking it for his dear life . She started knocking
,
when she saw Asuka slowly falling prone into the tube . Her worry about her
friend won the fear and she hurried to pick her . She faced her picking her
shoulders and shook her : "Asuka , Asuka ! Speak to me! Open your eyes!"
she also started crying .. Then , Asuka slowly opened her eyes , and softly
said..
"I.. I always .. knew.. he .. was.. a .. dumm..kopf.." , then closed them again
and drifted back to uncousciouness .

Hikari was still crying , but this time , her tears were tears of joy.. She
hugged Asuka tight , kissing her on the hair , drenching herself in the lather
.. Then
Shinji , worried by all those weird sounds , found the guts to peek inside.

Hikari saw him between the sobs and simply said : "She.. She's back."

Shinji nodded , and left the girls alone with each other.

End chapter 4
___________________________________________________________________



Wow! Things are getting hotter by now ! What would be happen next ?
Do you now , I can stand and I've written a very long draft! Being a writer
isn't a bad job!

X-Ray : "I always use carbon to wash my hair."

Ebj: "Did you pop out of "Mary Poppins" or what?"

James: "What the heck happened to the water?"

X-Ray has some trouble responding in stereo so he decides to stay silent
and eat a couple of waffels .. Mhhhhh!!!!
_____________________________________________________________________

Okay.. The problem is that I've changed my enviroment , now I'm working
on a unix-style machine , so there could be some problems with the commas..

Please forgive me..



Train Of Thoughts

Chapter 5

Standard Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned and copyrighted by Gainax,
all characters used from that series are theirs. All names are (TM) and (C) by
their respective owners.

I've never written long texts in English, and this is my first try to write a
fan fiction.

Feel free to send any comment, suggestion, flame, job opportunity etc. etc.

This is a revised version, now I have two pre-readers!

That's incredible but, I guess, isn't enough: even if EBJ ( the evafiction's
Space Black God ), and the new entry James Edwards help me a lot, starting
from the pile of trash that is my draft, some errors could escape, so you are
advised...

If you like ToT, thank them as well, so I can continue writing...

r.giammanco@datastudio.it
e.barone@flasnet.it
theanimeotaku@hotmail.com

My home page is on http://members.xoom.com/fantasticare.

I know I said I wouldn't use Xoom, Geocities or similar things, but, due
to technical reasons, my provider can't accept home page for a while, so..

In this page, heavily under construction, you can find the revised version of my
fics. Jump on it, and drop me a line if you like it.

One last note: This chapter had a difficult life. I've lost it in the deeps of
my laptop a lot of time and I restarted correcting it ten or more times.
I've lost the correction that James gave me, so in this chapter you'll find only
the work of EBJ. Eventual correction suggested by James will be added to the
Up to date version of the fan fiction present in my home-page.

Well, Take a seat, and enjoy yourselves.

____________Why don't you take your responsibilities?/Blame yourself____________


Shi: 'So Asuka has regained consciousness, even if just for a brief moment.
It's a good
thing, of course, but I don't know if she has already gotten over her
state..
Well, I've passed my dark moment in little time, so one could think that
the same thing would happen to Asuka.. But I'm not sure. She can be so..
so.. stubborn and arrogant when she wants! Anyway, let's hope she'll
remain unconscious until the doctor's visit..'

Hikari, meanwhile, was removing the soap, removing all the water from the tube.
She then started to dry her.. at that point she noticed the lack of something..

Hik: "Shinji! You idiot! You forgot the hair-drier!"

Shi: "Sorry Asu.. Class rep?"

Hik: "Who do you think I am? Santa Claus?"

Shi: 'Well.. Asuka's influence is getting stronger..'

"I'm sorry.. I didn't.."

Hik: "Why I even expect something from you!"

So she started drying them with a towel, doing a lot of efforts with apparently
no results..

Hik: "If she'll get a fever for this, I'll hold you responsible!
Understood?"

Shinji nodded gulping..: "Yes, class rep.."

Hik: "Very well. Come in and put her on the chair, I must finish dressing her."

Shinji entered, finding an angry Hikari and an Asuka sleeping into the tub,
wrapped in a towel..

Hik: "Don't touch anything, and don't peek, you hentai!"

Shinji decided not to reply: he wasn't in the right position to do that..

After he did what he was told, he was literally kicked outside again.

Hikari finished drying Asuka and dressed her with her yellow sundress.. 'It was
kind of him to bring her favorite dress.. maybe I should apologize..'

When she finished, she left, pushing the chair. They collected all their
belongings, and came back to the room without being noticed. They found
Kensuke assembling something on the bed. He made them sign to stay silent, and
finally activated the machine.

Ken: "Ahh!! Now we can talk! Shinji, do you see these? They are the wireless
microphones! I've removed the battery and switched on my transmitter: they
are listening to what happened in the last half an hour. They can't see us
either.. Asuka looks peaceful, you know?"

Shinji told him what happened, and finally said:

Shi: "Now, we can't put her back in bed, dressed like that! What can we do?"

Ken: "Why don't you leave her on the chair?"

Hik: "But they'll understand!"

Ken: "From what I've understood, the doctor it's not the clever one. We'll
simply say: 'Yes, we changed her dress and moved her to the chair' ,
without mentioning her bath. Sure, this smell won't help, but I don't
think that he'll grow suspicious. Instead, we must think something
about these medical sensors: I don't know how to trick them, and that way,
whenever Asuka leaves this room, there always has to be someone else to
take
her place."

Shi: "When the doctor will come, we should reactivate the microphones, don't
you
think? They might get suspicious if they can't see a thing and don't hear
him
visiting her.. "

Ken: "Well, I can always change the frequency of the microphones, and use my
transmitter like a bridge.. That would need the next hour, and I have to
break my camera to get some components.. I'm lucky that I've got with my
all my accessories. Oh, Shinji, It's clear that you'll refund me all the
money.."

Shinji gulped nervously: "Of.. of course.."

So Kensuke got back to work, while Horaki moved the sensors from Kensuke's
body to Asuka's, putting the needle again into her arm.

Shinji was observing Kensuke: "You know, Kensuke? I didn't think you were so
good at these things.."

Ken: "You know.. lately I started building radio-controlled aircrafts, with the
help of my uncle, and I've learned a lot of things.. Moreover, back in the
shop I've bought modular devices, so all I have to do is to make the right
connections.. Reading the instruction it's not difficult to assemble a
multi-way transmitter or a receiver.. read here, and help me. Give me
that quartz."

Shi: "This?"

Ken: "Erh.. Maybe its better if you only watch.."

Shi: "Oh."

Hikari laughed a bit listening this conversation..

Now Asuka was on the chair, sleeping with a serene expression: she seemed more
relaxed, and her skin was now clean and fragrant. Hikari was doing a long
pigtail with all her hair, but Shinji stopped her: "Why are you doing her a
pigtail?", Hikari looked at him: "Well.. I think it's better.. so they'll
remain in order and clean.."

Shinji looked at Asuka's hair..: "She never wore a pigtail. I don't think
she'll like it.".

Hikari assumed her professional tone: "Ikari, what I have decided is for the
better. So don't annoy me and move her limbs: back in the bathroom she even
wasn't able to get to sit. When she'll feel better she'll be very annoyed about
that."

Shinji was very confused, and started moving her left arm, when Hikari stopped
him: "No, I've already done this. Move her legs, bend them at the knee."

Kensuke stood and nearly shouted: "I was nearly killed having only seen her
legs, and now he can touch them! Even if it's not that evident, he's a boy, just
like me!"

Hikari shouted back: "Yes, but when Asuka'll know what happened, Shinji would
be kicked in the ass, but you would be stamped by a red Evangelion unit. Now,
what do you want to do?"

Kensuke punched the wall: "Damn! They have only privileges! I want to became an
Evangelion pilo"

He couldn't finish his sentence, because he was nearly strangled by Shinji:
"Don't EVEN dare to say that again, Kensuke! Have you seen what happened to
Toji?"

He looked insane, no, beyond insane his eyes were burning of rage, his hand
circling Kensuke's throat.

Kensuke didn't know of what to be terrified of: the lack of air, or Shinji's
eyes..

Hikari, after a moment during which she looked at them terrified, ran to Shinji
and
grabbed his free arm, pulling it with all her strenght: "Shinji!
Shinji! He was kidding! Just kidding! Let him go! Let him go!"

Kensuke started to become red, his eye rolling to the ceiling, when Shinji
released his grip. Kensuke fell back on the bed choking and gasping for air,
while Hikari, tears in her eyes, shouted to Shinji, hitting him on the chest
with her
weak fists: "What the hell were you doing? You were killing him! How could you?
How could you!"

He grabbed her hands and held them tight, while Hikari moaned in pain, and
without facing her, said: "The Eva is a damnation: all those who are touched by
it
are doomed. Look at me, look at Asuka, look at Rei, look at Toji. All of
this happened because it exists. Because of it, we are feeling this pain."

Kensuke made his voice audible: "That's not true and you know it. Without the
Evangelions, we had been killed by the angels. We owe them our life. We must
even thank your father."

Shinji lifted his fists to the sky, still holding Horaki's hands, and so she
cried in pain: "My father? MY FATHER? HE FORCED ME TO RIDE THAT MONSTER, HE
NEARLY KILLED TOJI, H"

Kensuke stood over the bed, pointing his finger at Shinji: "Do you want to know
the truth? The real truth? It was your fault! IT WAS ONLY YOUR FAULT! YOU ARE
THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO TOJI!"

He was very angry now, rage was burning in his eyes. Shinji stopped breathing..
he released both Horaki's hands and looked at Kensuke open mouthed.

Ken: "IT WAS YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T FIGHT HIS EVA! YOU COULD HAVE
HELPED
HIM! YOU COULD HAD DEFEATED HIM WITOUT EVEN SCRATHING HIM!"

Shinji recoiled from his stance and replied very angry..

Shi: "How dare you! Don't you now the pilot and the Eva are linked? Every pain
I inflict to the Eva, the pilot feels it! Ho"

Kensuke was more calm now: "I've read in my father's report, and I have my
sources. Even before Asuka's unit-02 was badly damaged, her limbs severed,
her head detached, you knew she could survive. In fact, she is still
alive. Furthermore, your unit had an arm severed, and you are still alive.
Why didn't you think about it? Why didn't you use your brain? Why did you have
to run away? WHY DID YOU REFUSE TO SAVE YOUR FRIEND?"

Shinji was speechless: "Misato.. told me.. it wasn't my fault.. Even you..
told me it wasn't my fault.."

Kensuke stepped back on the floor and approached him: "I, Misato, any other
person
who told you that, told you to reassure you. To console you. To let you feel
better. You convinced yourself it wasn't your fault, but it was. All the past
is past. We are arguing about that single fact. It doesn't matter what
happened before: you were in your Eva. Toji was trapped in his. You had to fight
him and you didn't do it. It was your fault."

Shinji was like a statue, looking at Kensuke in disbelief, not trusting what
he was hearing.

Hikari was standing beside them, caressing her wrists, looking terrified from
Shinji to Kensuke, back and forth.

Then Kensuke's expression softened, and he posed his right hand on Shinji's
shoulder: "I don't want to scold you. I want you to understand: don't blame
others for your errors. You can always make an error, and be forgiven. But if
you don't recognize your error, for what it is in reality, then you are lying to
yourself and to the others. That wouldn't be forgiven. You mustn't run away.
You have to face the reality, the true reality. There are things so absurd,
that don't even need to seem real, because they are true. That's one of them.
It was your fault, you must apologize, instead of blaming others. This is your
next step, Shinji. You must face it. I'm looking forward to see it."

With that, Kensuke returned back to his work, while Shinji rested motionless.
Hikari was still shaking from the fear. For what seemed an eternity, she only
hoped that that nothing was happened.

Hik: 'It was a dream, It was a dream, It was a dream, Oh my god! What can I
do? What can I say? What has Kensuke done? How could he? What'll do
now Shinji? What will happen to Toji and Asuka?'

She was on the verge of crying when suddenly Shinji moved. This grabbed her
attention: he simply fell on the ground, crossed his legs, held his head
between his hands, and started sobbing. It was clear he was desperate: he was
crying huge tears, without a word, only moans of pain, only sobs. This lasted
for about ten minutes. Hikari couldn't stand in seeing him like this. She was
kneeling down to comfort him, when Kensuke, not even bothering to look at
her, said: "Leave him alone."

Hik: "But.."

Ken: "Leave him alone. He's fighting the worst battle he's ever faced. He
is fighting against himself."

Hik: ".."

Ken: "You have to trust me, Hikari. It couldn't seem so a few moments ago,
but Shinji is one of my dearest friend. I've acted for his welfare, for
his sake, for the sake of his soul. Only when he'll comprehend his
errors, he will be a better man. Why hide the truth from him not to
harm him? In the last, he would be hurt the most. If we really care
about him, we cannot take his pain away from him."

Hik: "So, according to your reasoning, Shinji's father acted well? Didn't he?
He
did every single thing for his son's sake, didn't he?"

Now Hikari was putting venom in her voice. But Kensuke didn't seem affected.

Meanwhile, Asuka was having a strange dream: fading from the dark, she was
seeing an American sit-com, where there was a father scolding his child
because he didn't face the truth: he hadn't studied, so his school-test went
bad, and he was blaming his professors for this. The mother, obviously, was
siding the child, while the father was accusing him. Then she focused her
attention on the child: he was giving her his back, and seemed so unhappy, so
desperately alone, that she moved her to compassion.

Asu: 'He looks like my Shinji..'

It was a warm thought, and she was convinced of it. Yes, she was aware of
it, but she didn't care. She looked sadly to the child, who slowly morphed
into Shinji.

Asu: 'I have never seen him cry. I've seen Misato cry for him, like a mother
could do. I wasn't able to do the same thing. Here, in my dream, I'm
not afraid to face my real feelings. I like him. I know. But I'm not
worth of him. He's better than me. I know. Now I can face the truth.
Maybe this is heaven. I feel so good.. so relaxed.. Funny.. My heaven
looks like a hell for Shinji.. I must be a bad girl.. there could be no
other explanation..'

Then she looked again at the mother, and something looked strange..

Asu: 'Well.. that actress is too young to be a mother.. she seem of my age..
she
really.. really looks like Hikari.. No! It's Hikari! Wait.. The father
resembles, yes, he is Kensuke! What the hell is going on?!?'

With that, she emerged from her drowsiness, snapping her eyes well opened:
Shinji was still crying, while Kensuke was slowly speaking to Hikari:

Ken: "I don't know Shinji's father. I don't know what are his problems. The
only thing I know is that without him and Nerv, we wouldn't be still
alive. I don't know what are his plans, what he will do next. Even if
his next goal is to rule the world with the power that the Evangelions
could give him, we must thank him for what he has done. I'm helping
Shinji now because I don't approve what he did to Asuka. Hikari,
the only thing I've really understood lately, it's that there isn't black
and white. There aren't dichotomies about the persons. Even Asuka, I
think she could be a gentle person, in the right occasions, even if she
is a pain in the ass for the most of time. Even my perso"

A growl, like of a wild animal was heard. Kensuke looked over Hikari's shoulder
and went pale.

Noticing his reaction, she figured out what was going to happen next, so
hurried far from him, but then she decided otherwise. Asuka looked angry. So
angry that her eyes could scare a serial killer to dead. She looked insane, and
her rage was all against a single person in that room, who started going
backwards, until he fell on the bed.

She tried to lift herself from the wheel-chair, but never succeeded in doing
that. She fell to her knees, pulling out the needle from her arm with a great
pain. Hikari ran to help her. She tried desperately to stand up alone, but she
couldn't.


She faced Hikari, who was helping her back in the chair..

Asu: "Hikari, why can't I move? What happened?"

Her tone was flat, calm. Hikari wasn't able to answer, not finding the right
thing to say.

Kensuke chose that time to stand and to circle the bed, leaning against the
wall, protected by the bed.

Asuka, shifted her attention to Shinji, and asked Hikari looking his back:

Asu: "Why is Shinji crying? Did something wrong happen?"

Hikari found the courage at lest to speak about that subject: "He.. he had a
discussion with Kensuke."

Asu: "Kensuke? But they are two of the three stooges, how can they argue?"

Kensuke sensed it was the time to say something: "A friend is also someone that
helps one to understand his own mistakes."

Asuka looked at him, but she wasn't angry. The realization that she was strange,
without her force, her strength, modified her usual behavior,giving her a Rei
attitude in discussing matters. It was like she wasn't showing any emotions:
"What are the mistakes you showed to Shinji?"

Kensuke was confused by her behavior: 'Why is she so calm? At first, she looked
like the normal Asuka, a very angry one, now she is.. so.. calm..', "Well, I
told him that it was his fault what happened to Toji."

Asu: "Toji.. When his Eva became an angel?"

Ken: "Yes. He didn't fight it, he ran away, and Toji got hurt. That's the
truth."

Asu: ".."

Ken: ".."

Asu: "Why is he crying?"

Ken: "Because he calmed his conscience telling himself it was his father's
fault. Blaming others is easier than admitting your own mistakes. Now he
can feel his castle of lies trembling, and he's scared."

Asu: "He's scared of the truth.."

Hik: "Asuka.. Are you feeling well?"

Asu: "No, Hikari. If I was well, I could stand and walk. Instead I have to
stay here and listen to that idiot's words. But sometimes it's a good
thing to stop and listen. Kensuke."

Ken: "Yes?"

Asu: "You are a dork, just like Shinji and Toji. But I forgive you.
Remember, you mustn't harm Shinji, or I'll make you pay for that."

Ken: "Don't worry, he's my friend. I'd never harm him intentionally."

Asuka sighed: "Looking him, your words don't seem true.. But I am so tired..
so tired.. I want to sleep.. Uh! My yellow sundress! How did I miss it! But
those shoes! Hikari! How could you pair these two colors! You don't have any..
taste.."

With that, Asuka closed her eyes, and started sleeping softly.

Kensuke succeeded in speaking after a bit: "What happened? She wasn't the usual
Asuka! I think we should sedate her more often.."

Hikari was in horror, not for a bad joke, but because Kensuke seemed to be
speaking seriously, but could at least understand why he had said that.. She
turned to face Asuka, caressing her face, now very relaxed, clean and perfumed:
"My poor Asuka.. What have you done to undergo all this pain.."

Kensuke looked at the two girl for a bit, then checked his watch: "Uhm.. it
is 14:20. The recorder tape would play for the next ten minutes. I must
complete my work, and then we must fake our return here. Hikari, it's time
to shake Shinji."

Shinji was, in fact, still sobbing, unaware of what just happened with
Asuka, even if he was more quiet now:

Shi: 'Was it my fault? Was it really my fault? If I had decided to fight his
Eva,
could I have won it without harming Toji? Or was it my father's fault? Why
did
Kensuke speak so to me? Why? If it really was my fault, then, there
wouldn't be forgiveness for my sin..'

But then he remembered "You can always make an error, and be forgiven. But if
you don't recognize your error, for what it is in reality, then you are lying
to yourself and to the others. That wouldn't be forgiven."

Shi: '.. Do I have to apologize? Is it enough to be forgiven? To be
forgiven by Toji, by Hikari, By Kensuke? Could be a single word settle
everything? And wasn't I the one who apologized for everything, driving
Asuka crazy? I haven't apologized for what happened to Toji, and this is
my damnation? Not to take my responsibilities? Am I a coward?'

Shi: "Am I a coward?"

Hikari was kneeled in front of him when he spoke, she was surprised and looked
to Kensuke, who turned his attention to him: "Why do you think this?"

Shi: "Because I didn't take my responsibilities towards Toji, and ran away. Am
I a coward?"

Ken: "No, Shinji. You are just a human being, so you make mistakes."

Shi: "But I mustn't blame others for my errors."

Ken: "Yes, that's a coward's behavior. You, without knowing, were acting
like that."

Shi: "But I tried to help Rei.. Asuka.."

Ken: "Those were your first steps toward your redemption: you wanted to
change, and I'm offering you my help."

Shi: "So I must apologize for what I've done to Toji."

Ken: "That's right. Only doing so, I'll return considering you a friend."

Shi: "So you don't consider me your friend?"

Ken: "..."

"It's not that simple, Shinji. I've already said that there aren't black
and
white, there are only grays."

".. Then.." he stood up, and walked to Kensuke, "I apologize for what
happened. I promise I'll try to do better the next time, with the help of my
friends and of the other people who care about me."

Ken: "So be it. Welcome back, Shinji."

Kensuke was smiling, while Shinji raised slowly his head: there were tracks of
tears, and his eyes were red, but he was smiling too.

Shi: "Maybe.. Maybe I'll be a better man from now on."

Ken: "I'm sure of it. You only needed a little kick in the ass, like a broken
camera.. That reminds me.. The bill is 100.000 yen, sir."

Shinji eyes widened: "100.. You've got to be kidding me,
Kensuke! How could a single camera be that expensive!"

Ken: "Well.. a part is for the camera, a part is for my psychiatric help."

Shi: "I wouldn't come to your study even if you were the only doctor on the
face of earth!"

Ken: "You see.. It's always like that: you cure them, and they don't even thank
you.. Doctor's profession isn't fair, Hikari.."

Shi: "Don't make me laugh! You a doctor!"

Ken: "Well.. and what do you want to become?"

Shi: "I.. I don't know.."

Ken: "Well, you have to think about it, before it's too late.., and study
hard to go to the high school and the university, otherwise you'll
probably end working in Nerv."

Shi: "Yes, maybe like supreme commander!"

Ken: "Well.. To tell you the truth, I'd prefer your father to you in that
position..",

And saying so he started laughing, soon joined by Shinji. Hikari was still
kneeled on the floor wondering: 'I didn't know Kensuke was like that .. maybe he
should be checked in the head too.. They look like crazy-men to me..'

After a bit, Kensuke give his hand to Shinji: "Friends?"

Shinji took and shacked it with both his hands: "Sure, Friends."

Hikari was relieved: 'The worst seemed passed..'

Kensuke then looked at his watch: "Hurry up! There's no time left! Quickly,
leave the room and wait a moment outside. Then open it again and get in like
nothing had
happened. I'll put Nerv mikes online. Go, now!"

Shinji and Hikari hurried outside, and did what they'd been told to.

Hik: "Asuka! We are back!"

Ken: "Why do you speak to her? She can't hear you!"

Hik: "Oh, Shut up!"

Shi: "When you want, you can be really an idiot, Kensuke."

Ken: "I was joking, you two! How I couldn't greet my sweetheart?"

Hik&Shi: "Your what?"

Ken: "You see? You can't undergo a joke! What bad did I do to have to be with
you...

...

In a room on the floor above, a man was listening to the conversation: "I don't
like what is happening. First I couldn't see, and now all these movements.. I
could go and remove the roses, but they could notice it. But now I'll ask for
a control. Let see.. it is 14:30.. the next visit is scheduled for 16:00.. There
is another doctor available now, this Ichiro Kusanagi... I'll ask him to visit
that room." So he picked the phone and made a call.

In another section of the floor, a speaker told: "Doctor Kusanagi is requested
at Nerv information desk. Repeat. Doctor Kusanagi is desired at Nerv information
desk."

Ich: "What the hell?"

A patient who was being visited, told him: "Yog scarpe su, trattore."

Ich: "UH?"

The patient removed the disgusting piece of wood that the doctor had stuck in
his mouth and repeated :"You should go, Doctor.."

Ich: "I haven't finished here, and it doesn't seem very urgent. And besides,
I don't like Nerv at all. Open your mouth. Say: aaaaaah"

The poor patient sighed..

...

After twenty minutes, trying to walk as slow as possible, he went to the NERV's
desk.

Ich: "Hello, I'm doctor Kusanagi. You asked of me?"

Nur: "Yes, doctor, more than ten minutes ago."

Ich: "I'm sorry, but I had other important things to do."

'Yes, like scratching my ass.'

Nur: "I see. Anyway, You were requested to check the patient in room 204. Here
is her documentation."

Ich: "But I'm not in charge here! Don't you have anyone else?"

Nur: "Right now there is nobody available."

Ich: "Well.. I'll see what I can do."

He grabbed the folder and walked toward the door. 'What a cute girl.. what!
She's a pilot! Incredible! She pilots one of that monsters! I thought these were
secured information, and now they're giving me access to these! They must be
crazy!'.

Then he started reading the patient condition, and her clinical history and
psychiatric scene.' He slowly reached the door: there was someone else inside,
but he sat on a chair near the door and continued reading.

...

In the control room, the Nerv officer was going nuts. "Argh!! It's more than
half an hour! What are they doing?"

He picked the phone and called Nerv information desk: "Where the hell is that
doctor?"

Nur: "He came here ten minutes ago."

Nerv man: "Well, he still hasn't reached the room! Where is he?"

Nur: "Let me see.."

Nerv man: "Quick!"

".."

Nur: "Sir?"

Nerv man: "Yes?"

Nur: "He is reading her medical documentation just outside the door."

Nerv man: "What? Why?"

Nur: "He is a doctor. He can't visit a patient without knowing her clinical
state."

Nerv man: "Oh! Fuck him! How much do you think he'll need?"

Nur: "He is famous for his meticulousity. You chose the wrong doctor, I
guess."

He closed the phone without replying, and started biting his feet's nails
through
his shoes.

...

Meanwhile Kusanagi was sweating: 'I can't believe it ! What kind of doctor can
prescribe that cure! How could.. How? What is this?' He found a small yellow
note with the Nerv Symbol. It reported: "The pilot is a danger for herself and
for Nerv security. Keep her stuck in bed until further instructions.". 'So it
is. They can toy with this girl's life. Well, I'm not a Nerv employee, and I'm
not subjected to their orders. Besides.. This note was so well hidden..', he
hid it inside an invisible pocket, 'that I didn't see it. I thought about an
error in the prescription. I'll bring her to the oxygen therapy , just to start
from some point.'

With that, he stood, knocked the door, and entered without waiting for any
answer.

He stood by the door, looking a bit surprised inside: three kids were playing
cards on the bed, while his patient was sleeping in a wheel chair next to the
window.

Shinji looked very worried to Kensuke, who looked at Asuka: 'If he says
something about Asuka it's over!'

Ich: "Why is the patient over that chair?"

Ken&Shi&Hik: 'BINGO! We're dead.'

Shinji nervously spoke: "Well.. We moved her on the chair.."

..

Nerv man: "Uh? When?"

..
Shi: "a bit ago.. It wasn't very difficult, and we made it without even saying
a word."
..
Nerv man: "When the hell did they do that! I must remove those flowers!"
..
Ich: "Can I ask you why?"

Hik: "Because.. She's always in bed.. We had her have some exercises for her
muscles and then we did that."

..
Nerv man: "That's right, I remember this."
..

Ich: "Uhm.. And are those the clothes she usually wears here?"

Hik: "Well.. no.. When I was alone with her, I changed her clothes.."

..
Nerv man: "I can't believe that without the camera I missed so many things!
I always said that only one camera isn't enough. I must complain.
I need at lest two or three of them. I'll make the request right
away."
..

The doctor looked at those children, still with the cards in their hands,
looking suspended to him: 'They are her friends. They are playing in her room,
to confort her, to try to make her feel better. She needs this, if it is true
she was into a depressive state, and tried to commit suicide. They are her
therapy.
Whatever I'd do would be changed by the doctor bought by Nerv.. What can I do?'

He approached the bed and looked better: "You are playing poker!"

Ken: "Well.. it was an idea of mine.."

Ich: "Don't you tell me you are playing for money!"

Shi: "Oh no! Do you see any yens here?"

Ich: "Then why?"

Shi: "Well.. Asuka, the girl over there, one time asked me to play poker.. I
didn't know how to play and she went mad at me. So I asked Kensuke to
explain it to me.."

Hikari nodded: "I wanted to learn too.."

Ich: "Are you Kensuke?"

Kensuke nervously nodded.

Ich: "You now, hospitals aren't casinos. If I'll find you playing for something
else than glory, I'll make sure you'll be used as sample for the new
doctors. Understood?"

Kensuke's face drained of colors and managed only to say yes with the head:
'What I've done now.. It's only a game, Damn it !'

Ich: "Okay, now it's time to visit my patient."

He started walking toward Asuka when Shinji grabbed his wrist: "You aren't
Doctor Goto, are you?"

Kusanagi turned to face him: "No, as you can read here I am Doctor Ichiro
Kusanagi."

Shinji looked worried at the sign in his white cloth: "But you aren't a Nerv
doctor. You don't have the Nerv symbol in your badge."

Ich: "That's right. There weren't any Nerv doctors available, so they asked me
to check this patient. Now, if you can let me do my job.."

Shinji looked back at Kensuke and Hikari, who didn't know what to do, so he
turned to observe what he was doing.

The doctor found really strange that a patient was dressed like for a walk in
the gardens, and that she smelled like a flower.. 'It's like she's just had a
bath..' He turned to look suspiciously at the kids back, seeing them paling
under his inquisitive glare.. 'maybe they did it?' He started chuckling.. "You
are good friends.."

They didn't understand. After a bit Hikari saw the light, and replied, tears
in her eyes: "She.. She's a dear friend to us. We would like to see her out of
here as soon as possible."

Ich: "I see."

He started checking her pulse, her hearth, her breathing. He measured her
temperature, looked her reflex, and examined her eyes. He was very quick,
otherwise Asuka would surely wake up.. He looked at the machines, their
values, and stood up, thinking, caressing his chin with is right hand, the left
crossed over his chest. He checked his folder, crossed his arms again and looked
down at the girl. After he looked back to the children over his shoulder,
seeing them holding their breath: 'From what I've seen, this girl has reaction
and values quite normal. It doesn't seem to me she is under the effect of any
drugs or medicines. Maybe these kids have done something, and their behavior
confirms my idea. So he turned and started: "Her conditions are still
stationary,but her readings are strange. I'd like to run some other test on
her."

So he grabbed the phone and asked the desk for the permission to bring the
patient to his section to perform some tests. The desk replied he had to wait a
bit for the confirmation.

..
Nur: "He asked for further exams. What can we do?"

Nerv man: "Let him act. After they're out of the room, remove those damn
roses from the room. If they ask you, tell it was the cleaning
woman."

'So I'll be finally able to see.'
..

Ich: "Okay, I'll be back in no time."

Shi: "Ehm.. Doctor.."

Ich: "Yes, kid?"

Shi: "Where are you bringing her? I mean.. Can we come with you?"

Ich: "Sure! Be my guests."

He started to push Asuka's chair, when Shinji asked : "Doc.. Can I push her?"

Ich: "Uh? What's your name kid?"

Shi: "Shinji Ikari, doc."

Ich: 'Where I have already heard that surname, Ikari.. boh! If I don't remember
it, it's not important.'

"Well, are you in love with this girl?"

Kensuke started to laugh, while Hikari looked incredulous to the Doctor.

Shinji simply turned red: "N..No.NO! It's just.. She's my roommate, so.."

Ichiro asked grinning: "Do you sleep in the same room?"

Shinji turned a redder shape of color: "The hell! NO! We only live in the same
house!"

Ich: "And you aren't relatives, I suppose.."

Shinji was fuming, while even Hikari started giggling: "No. It's not of your
business. I live with her and with our guardian."

Ichiro smirked: "You know.. maybe I should do a pregnancy test on her, after
all.."

The kids went dead. All color drained from Shinji's face, who went paler than
Ayanami. Hikari shook herself and threw her against Shinji, grabbing him by
the collar: "You dork! What have you done to my Asuka! How could you!" Shinji
tried to break free: "What the hell are you thinking? Do you imagine Asuka
having sex with me?", 'ops, wrong choice, Shinji, you idiot..'

Hikari reddened, while Kensuke suppressed a nose-bleed.. The doctor was now
laughing out loud, and divided the two kids.

Ich: "It was a joke! Just a joke! Man, you're touchy about things like that,
aren't
you?


Kensuke, adjusting his glasses on his nose: "It's what I've always said.."

Ich: "I don't think this kid could have the guts to even try to kiss her.."

Shinji was upset: "Oh, yes? Well, actually, I've kissed her."

Kensuke and Hikari looked at him with widened eyes, while the doctor was smiling
between himself: 'now there is an interesting thing..'

Ken: "You.. kissed.."

Hik: ".. Asuka?"

Shinji, crossed his arms, and snorted: "Sure, I did it." His glory's moment
didn't lasted much.

Kensuke grabbed his head stroking it, while Hikari grabbed his collar nearly
tearing it.

Ken: "I knew there was tender between you two! Speak! When was it! Have you
touched her breasts?"

Hik: "How could it be! I can't believe she admitted she liked you! Ehi, Aida!
Don't be the usual dork!"

So she grabbed Kensuke's collar too, and started strangling them. Kensuke
managed
to say sorry, but Shinji was wondering about what Hikari had just told: 'She
likes me? It's impossible.. Why then does she always tease me, hit me,trick me?
Hikari must
be wrong..' So he broke free and said sadly: "It was just a game for her, she
was bored, and she tricked me to kiss. That's all. I think she was sad because
she couldn't go out with Kaji.."

Hik: "But you don't kiss a boy because you are bored! That's nonsense!"

Shi: "Well, you must ask her, not me. I hadn't done a thing."

Ken: "Sure, lazy one. You didn't do anything and got kissed. Man, how I envy
you! Listen, the next time she seems bored, call me.. ops.."

He was kicked dead by a couple of persons in perfect synchrony: Hikari led,
while
Shinji complied with surgical precision. Once again, the doctor saved one
of the children from being killed.

Ich: "That's enough. You'll have to wait for this girl's recover to find out
the truth. Now it's time to go."

So he left, followed by a couple of angry Hikari and Shinji. Kensuke followed
them caressing his back: 'Why I even bother to act like a lighting-conductor..
They can't understand this..'

..

It was about 15:30, and Ayanami was having a very bad time: trying every sort
of clothes under the critical eyes of Misato: "I don't like this, maybe a couple
of shorts could be better.."

Rei: "S.. Shorts?"

Misato grinned: "You'll see.."
..

It was about 16:05, Doc. Goto and Koraki entered the room, with Ai already
attacking: "You know,doctor? These holidays were very good for you.. You seem
much younger now.."

Got: "Oh! Oh! Oh! But I'm still young, my little nurse.."

Then they didn't find anyone (and there weren't roses anymore , either)..

They hurried, especially the nurse, to the desk: "The girl back into the 204
disappeared!"

Nur: "We know. She is with Doctor Kusanagi right now. He's tacking some samples
and doing some tests on her."

Kor: "Doctor Kusanagi? Ichiro Kusanagi? But he isn't a Nerv's doctor!"

Nur: "Well.. We were asked to check the patient, and he was the only one
avaiable.."

..

The Nerv guard was hysterically laughing: "Now I can see you! HA! Ha! hA!
Come on! Come back to your daddy! hI! hI!"

Knock, Knock.

Nerv man: "Who the hell is?"

Ran: "It's me, Ranko. Your shift is over."

Nerv man: ".. oh.. shit.."

..

Got: "Oh, Yes? Well, since she was the only one to visit, I'm going back at
home. See you soon."

'Wow! So I can go and see again that interesting movie: "She wants it
all",
nice movie.. nice movie..'

Koraki didn't know what to do..: "What can I do now?"

Nur: "Well, you are in charge of her, so you can go and catch them. Keep an eye
on those children, I don't like them."

Kor: "Sure. I'll go."

'I don't like you either.'

She looked pretty happy.. she, in fact, was blushing a bit.. 'I'll finally have
an occasion to stay with him!' She ran through all the hospital, searching left
and right, up and down, asking everyone. She wasn't able to find them. So, she
was thirsty, and went to the hospital's commissary: She ordered a glass of
orange juice, and drank it eagerly. "Ahhh!! That's real good."

When she was turning to restart her quest, she saw something strange.. in a
table in the far corner of the center, there were.. yes.. there were Shinji with
the others two kids.. She started moving towards him. 'What are they doing here?
Weren't they supposed to be with Ichiro and Asuka?'

While se was approaching, her view was cleared of a pillar standing in front
of the table, and she could see a man wearing a white lab coat sitting with
them..

'It's like.. It's like they are playing cards with that man.. Who could he be?'

When she was at less than six meters, she saw Asuka, in her chair, still
asleep.

She went dead in her tracks. She even wasn't able to think: 'Doctor..Kusanagi..
is playing cards.. with those children?'

She stood there astonished for a few minutes, not knowing what to do.

Fortunately Hikari, who was in the best position to see her, looked ahead
and saw her: "Shinji, look, there is our nurse over there.."

Shi: "Really?"

He turned over his seat and nearly shouted: "Miss Koraki! Miss Koraki! Come
here! Come here!"

She managed a weak smile but didn't move. So Shinji stood and said: "Wait a
moment, and DON'T LOOK MY CARDS, KENSUKE!"

Ken: "I? I don't need to cheat to win! You are the one who looks into my
glasses
to see my cards!"

Shinji quickly ran away, and Kensuke smiled: "I got him!"

Shinji hurried to the Nurse and started pulling her towards the table: "Come on
miss Koraki! We are having real fun!"

Kor: "But.. But.. You should be with the doctor examining Asuka..
Is he really doctor Kusanagi?"

In fact, he was still giving her his back, and arguing with Kensuke about the
order in giving cards..

Shi: "Yes, He is a very nice person, you know?"

Koraki couldn't help herself; she walked like a Valkyrie towards him, and
angrily shouted, with her hands on her hips:

"Doctor Ichiro Kusanagi! What the hell are you doing here?!? Aren't you supposed
to visit that girl? And what are you doing during your shift?"

Almost every one in the bar looked to her. Ichiro was stunned, looking Hikari in
her eyes, asked her: "Is there somebody behind me who wants me dead?"

Hikari managed a nervous "I think so.."

He slowly stood, adjusted his tie, and turned to face her with all the charm he
had: "Oh.. Hi.. Miss.. Koraki.. I see.. you are from Nerv section.. I suppose
you were sent after me.. Well.. You know.. I was expecting the patient to wake
up.."

Kor: "You know very well she is under sedatives, so she can't awake."

She was so angry, she was forgetting she didn't give her her dose last night..

Ich: "Well.. The children.. You.. know.. Argh.."

Shinji was confused, and told to Ichiro's ear "Look! She is the nurse I've
told you of!" and Ichiro replied: "Why is she eating me alive, then!"

Koraki fumed, evidently, she didn't like being ignored: she picked Shinji's
and Ichiro's ear and pulled them very hard: "I WAS STILL SPEAKING! DON'T YOU
DARE TO IGNORE ME!"

Shinji and Ichiro were in pain, while Kensuke was laughing, saying to Hikari:
"You.. You see?! It's like.. like you.. Class rep.. They... they seem just like
you and.. Toji..", Hikari started to blush, and lowered her eyes to her feet.

Unknown to anyone, Asuka had awaken, but what she was seeing was shocking
her, so she decided to stay silent and just look: 'What is happening? Who are
those people? What are they doing? Why is Hikari blushing? And that idiot of
Aida.. Why is he laughing madly? Who is that woman grabbing Shinji? She
seems very angry.. She.. she is a nurse! And that man is a doctor.. What are
they saying? Are they talking about me?'

So she started to listen carefully to what was happening..

Shi: "Ouch! Ouch! I didn't do anything, let me go!"

Kor: "Weren't you supposed to watch over Asuka?"

Shi: "I.. I did!"

Kor: "Oh, Shut up! And you, doctor Kusanagi! I always thought you were a
great doctor, and a wonderful person! Now I see you're as reckless as
a kid! How could you be a doctor?"

Ich: 'What did she just say? A wonderful person? A great doctor? Does she know
me? Ouch! My poor ear! If I don't do something, I'll loose it! Well, let's
play it hard..'

So he grabbed her wrist, tightening his grip: "And you, who didn't give
the prescribed medication to a patient?"

It was a whisper, only audible to Shinji and Ai. She went pale, and released her
grip, fear in her eyes: "How.. How could.. you know?"

Ichiro adjusted his collar and tie: "You told me first: I'm a great doctor.. I
can understand an illness only with a glance, and, besides, Shinji told me what
you've done for this girl."

Koraki looked stunned to Shinji: "You.. You told him.."

Shinji started to sweat: "You see.. He understood that there was something
wrong.. And he seemed a good person.. He didn't blame us for the bath Asuka
had.."

Koraki was horrified: "A.. bath.. You.. brought Asuka.. to take a bath?!?"

Shinji gulped nervously, while Kensuke whispered to Hikari: "He'll always
remain a baka.."

Asu: 'A bath.. I can remember.. It was when I thought I was still with my
mother, when she still loved me and I was a child..'

A tear started running over her left cheek....

Shinji continued " and he asked us what was going on, so I decided to tell him
the truth. He then brought us here and told that we would wait until Asuka would
awake again.."

Ich: "You know.. She doesn't need physical cures, but more a psychological
aid.."

The figure of her mother pending from a rope in her hospital room filled Asuka's
vision, she started to tremble:

"N..NNOOOOOO!!!", she stood with an immense pain on her feet, "I'm not mad!
I'll never be her puppet! I want to live! I want to be a pilot! They've chosen
me! I don't want to die!"

Then she fell back on the chair sobbing: "mama.. what can I do?"

They, and a good part of the person present in the room looked at her in
amazement, but quickly Shinji ran to her side and kneeled down: "Asuka.. Asuka!
Listen to me! I beg you! Speak to me!"

Koraki was terrified, but Ichiro came closer to her and sat down: "You really
want to live?"

Asuka wasn't paying attention to what they were saying.. she was just crying..
so Ichiro grabbed her by the shoulders and put her sitting on the table.

Hik: "What are you doing?!"

Shi: "Doctor Kusanagi!"

Ich: "Shut up! Now, pilot Soryu, you are crying in front of a lot of persons."

She was hit by these words: lifted a bit her eyes, and trough a blurred vision
she saw that, in fact, a lot of people were staring at her.

She tried to block the tears and the sobs, but she didn't succeed: "Who cares!
I'm not a pilot anymore. I'm useless now. I don't need anymore to be strong.
I've lost all. All my bounds. There is nothing left to me! So.."

Ichiro bent forward to her and whispered into her ear: "So you tried to kill
yourself."

Hikari and Kensuke were able to pick up what he had just said, even if it was
only a whisper; they gasped: they didn't know she tried to commit suicide. They
only knew what Misato first, Shinji after, told them. In fact Hikari had first
learned
about Asuka asking Misato, when Shinji was still running away. All they knew it
was that she fell into a depressive state, and that the nerv's doctor were only
sedating her instead of curing her. This last information was, of course, from
Shinji.

This last, was observing stunned.

To tell the truth, when Hikari washed Asuka in the morning, she could have
noticed something strange about her wrists: over each one, there was a small
region of skin, longilineal in shape, paler than the surrounding. To a normal
person maybe this fact couldn't tell anything. To a doctor's eyes, it spoke
clear.

Besides, Kusanagi didn't even need to deduce this fact, having read it in
Asuka's folder. He knew all of her attempted suicide, and how she was saved
from the Nerv security. He knew all of her. All that was in that folder was
surely more than what Shinji and Misato knew. He knew as well about Asuka's
mother.

Of course, it wasn't written why she killed herself, or her relation to the
Nerv. It was written only that the "subject 2" had had, most likely, a deep
trauma when she was very young. And that would lead to explain her actual
behavior. In fact, she acted like she had never grown: her arrogant behavior,
her
incapacity to face her errors, where typical of a little child.

Obviously, spreading such delicate and top secret information wasn't probably
in the mind of the head security officer. The officer who ordered the Kusanagi's
visit would be most likely fired. To tell the truth, the Nerv security protocols
weren't that clear in defining this point, so there were a large variety of
possibilities where one could choose. In fact, it wasn't contemplated the
firing, simply because very difficulty one could leave Nerv. That guard would
be, most likely, simply erased.

Asu: 'I tried to kill myself.. Yes. That's right.. I did it. It was.. in a
Bath tub.. I can remember.. It was in a bath-tube like the one I've seen
before, when I was with Hikari.. It was.. when?.. maybe.. it was after
the 16ø angel.. when I wasn't even able to move my Eva.. "It doesn't move!
It doesn't move!".. it was after that angel.. raped my mind.. That time,
Shinji didn't help me. He helped wonder girl. When she was in trouble, and
I wasn't able to move, he helped her. Why? Why her and not me? Why the
commander didn't want him to help me? Wasn't I worth of it? Am I less
important
than wonder girl? Sure.. she is his favorite.. And even Shinji prefers her
at me. Why? Why? Am I weaker than her? Is she prettier? Why? She.. and
Shinji.. before.. I was the best. I was the best in piloting the Eva, and
now I can't even move it.. "Eva has an heart. You must open your heart to
the Eva." Wonder girl once said.. How could be? It is just a machine, a
pile of steel and flesh, it doesn't have an heart, a soul, a life. Still..
When
Shinji's Eva went mad.. I was scared to death. I was scared to dead. He
could do with his Eva things that seemed impossible, even with an
Evangelion.. Was he? Or was someone else? Is there something inside the
Eva? Shinji was bounded to it. He and Ayanami.. almost died.. more than
once.. Shinji was.. like dead.. for a month, adsorbed into that..
monster.. then he came back, and he is near to me. He nearly died against
the third angel, and now is near to me... wonder girl.. for what I
recall.. she's still alive.. She even was about to die protecting Shinji
against the fifth angel.. She exploded with her unit to save him.. Do
they have a bond? Why are they still alive, and fighting, while I tried to
kill myself.. I'm worthless.. I have nothing to live for.. I don't deserve
to live..'

Asu: "I don't deserve to live.."

Ichiro touched Asuka's forehead with his, still clutching firmly her arms..

Ich: "So you tried to kill yourself. Why did you only cut your wrists? It's a
lazy way to die. Why didn't you throw yourself from a skyscraper? Why
didn't you throw yourself under a train? Why didn't you electrocute
yourself? Why didn't you hang yourself?"

Hikari and Kensuke were horrified, they weren't able to think or say anything:
they were just looking in horror at the two of them. It was like they was
playing a drama, but that was reality, and they haven't enough courage to
face it.

Shinji, instead, couldn't resist anymore: "S.. SSTOOOPPP!!", and lounged
forward, a fist lifted against that man, who he trusted, and who now
was harming Asuka.. But suddenly a hand grabbed his lifted fist, and another
covered his mouth. He turned back to look at the person who was stopping him,
and he saw the nurse. She wasn't paying attention to him, she wasn't even
looking at him. She was looking at the two. Her face was dried of any color.
Her pale skin contrasted fiercely with that thin film of red lipstick she
had on her lips. They were shaking, but her glare was firm, and resolute. It
seemed as she was looking to a sword coming straight toward her, she couldn't
doing anything to avoid that. So he turned his face to look at Asuka and at the
Doctor.

Ichiro pushed her with his head: "So! Tell me! You weren't even able to kill
yourself. If you can't succeed in such a simple task, how you could dare to
think you could be a pilot? How could you? You are nothing more than a stupid,
little kid. You are nothing. You don't deserve our pity. You don't deserve
our compassion. We don't feel sorry for you! You little brat! You are nothing!
Nothing! Do you understand? Nothing! NOTHING! NOTHING!"

Now he was shaking her, while she was in a confusional state: "I.. I.. I don't..
want.. to.. die.."

Ichiro stopped: "How come you don't want to die? You tried to kill yourself! You
proved you were nothing! And now you dare to ask to live! Why would you live!
Why wouldn't we let you in a room with a rope, so you could die like your
mother? Why? Because you don't have a daughter to show your death to? Is that
so? You want to make other suffer for your incapacity? It's that what you
want?"

Shinji's eye widened. 'Her mother.. she's seen her mother's.. death?'

Similar thoughts were running in the heads of the others looking at that scene..
Some other person occasionally came closer to look for a bit, leaving then
disgusted..

Asuka was crying quietly, invested by that flow of words "I.. hate men..
because.. they use us.. and leave us.."

Ichiro paused for a moment.. 'Yes.. his father went away from her and from her
mother.. I remember I've read this..', then continued: "Let me tell
something. A single man isn't representative of all the men, you can't
generalize. Look around. There are your friends here. There are two boys
here. They've helped you. They've followed you here. They care about you.
They don't feel pity, they don't feel compassion, because, trust me, the way
you are now, you deserve only hatred. Someone who would throw away his
life is nothing more than a worm. Nothing more."

Asuka shivered.. "Two of the three stooges.."

Kensuke shouted: "I can't believe! She has still the force to insult me! She's
okay! No need to worry!"
He had said this with the best of intentions, but, as always, he got slapped in
his back.. But this time Hikari had tears in her eyes, and wasn't able to
speak..but she didn't use all her force. Not because she wasn't able, but
because she didn't want to. Perhaps she'd understood why he had said so..

Shinji simply stood and looked hurt.. 'Why.. Why does she never understand..
what I feel..'

Ich: "Look at yourself! You push away those who care about you. You hurt them,
and in the end you'll hurt yourself, because you'll remain alone."

Asu: "I don't need anyone."

Ich: "Bullshit."

Asu: ".."

Ich: "You are a woman. You need a man."

Hikari's eye widened, Kensuke started shouting: "She needs superman, so she
couldn't kick him in the ass!"

Shinji too was surprised, and almost yelled..

Asuka thought a bit about it.. 'a man.. a man.. my husband? To be left alone?
No..I won't allow it.. I'll choose.. someone worth of me..'

She had still her forehead pressed against the doctor's.. she made a little
movement, and the doctor let her go, even releasing her arms.

She slowly lifted her eyes to look sadly around her.. her back was turned to
Hikari and Kensuke, so she could see only the doctor, the nurse.. and..

Shinji. She looked at him.. he was still with a fist lifted, and grabbed form
behind by the nurse. She looked into Shinji's eyes, with an immense sadness in
her glance. Shinji simply stood, looking her back..

Asu: "What were you doing, Shinji?"

Shinji realized he had still his mouth covered, and his fist lifted.. He
slowly shook his head, and the nurse let him go..

Shi: "I.. I was trying to punch the doctor.."

Asuka eye's watered, if possible, even more.. "Why?"

Shi: "Because.. Because he was.. harming you.. at least.. I thought.."

Asuka started slowly to cry, a single flow of tears coming from each eye on
each cheek.. "Do you care about me?"

Shinji kept his breath, so did Hikari and Kensuke. After a moment, Shinji
simply nodded, always looking straight into her eyes..

She then did something unexpected.. lowered her head, dropping huge tears..
and asked: "Kensuke.. do you care about me?"

Kensuke almost fainted.. not knowing what to say.. then Hikari's elbow
pierced his ribs.. and he managed to say: "Even....even if you don't believe
me.. I like you.. and I'm sure that Toji wouldn't let you'd get harmed if he
could help you.." Gasping for air.. due to the lack of response.. he continued:
"You know.. in the beginning you were a real pain.. from our first encounter..
But.. you were a pilot.. you fought to protect us.. Even if you fought for your
own interest, you protected us.. We knew your life wasn't easy.. Toji knows
something about it.. Well.. We care about you.. I'd only like you didn't call me
a jerk without a reason.."

She nodded and continued to cry..

A small crowd was now circling the table, and the gossip spreaded through
the hospital, finally reaching the nerv section and the surveillance team:
"What? Some kids? A doctor? What did that idiot do!" that was the new person
in the shift, Ranko, who called reinforcement from the outside, and gathered a
small squad of five persons: two were the one in charge of Shinji's
surveillance, one was the one from the control room, and two were assigned to
watch the hospital in general. They ran to the commissary..

Back there, it was Hikari's turn, to hug Firmly Asuka.. Meanwhile, Koraki
approached Kusanagi, who was smiling looking the couple of girls.

Kor: "What were you thinking? Make a shock-therapy in a bar!"

Ich: "So what? I think it worked.. at least, the first session.."

Kor: "You.. You are.."

Ich: "I know. I don't care what you think. I've seen the opportunity, and I
picked it at once. Carpe diem."

Kor: ".. I wasn't going to insult you, doctor.."

Ich: "What?"

She didn't have the time to reply, because the Nerv squad chose that moment to
enter the bar, shouting orders to everybody ..

End of chapter 5

___________________________________________________________________
It was a long time.. You know.. I need to study , and things
are not going pretty well.. Anyway..

X-Ray : "I always use shock therapy for my pigeons."

Ebj: "I always use shock therapy for my writers, X-Ray needs more of =
That (mweh, heh, heh...)"

James: " "

X-Ray start thinking seriously about entering the army...

_____________________________________________________________________
One thing.

This is my idea about Shinji and Toji's accident.
Ebj is not of the same opinion. Below you find his thoughts, that
I respect but that are different from mine.

Ebj: In my humble opinion Eva is the account of the behaviors of its
characters in response to the events of their lives. Said events are often
tragic and painful, and have had a lot of influence on the characters. To
me, Shinji's refusal to fight is probably the only way a person like him
could've acted at the time and place. His responsibility in the matter
lies in the fact that he had decided that his aversion to hurting another
human being took precedence over his life, something he considered less
important because of his experiences.

One of my favorite lines from James T. Kirk from Star Trek is "Everyone's
responsible for one's actions only". In that view, it is Gendo's fault if
Toji was injured. He didn't stop the dummy plug of Eva 01 until the entry
plug of 03 had been crushed. Whatever his reasons were, it was his doing.
In a way, we all decide of somebody else's destiny with our actions, but
we keep going on. However, if we not only influence their destiny but take
it in our hands, we must stop and think about it. In a way, Shinji
influenced Toji's destiny by not taking it in his hands, but what his
decision led to was Gendo's actions, and those were actions that only
Gendo could've performed, because of the way he is. So I think that Shinji
is actually 'innocent' regarding the outcome of the battle, which wasn't
anymore his,just as it wasn't Rei's or Asuka's since they had been
defeated and cleared out of the picture.

However, X-ray's point of view is very interesting. The way I see it,
it can fit somewhat in the general message of acting and not letting
others decide your life for you that is behind Eva (among other ones), so
I respect it, but as it was not elaborated in ways other than Shinji's own
sense of guilt in the series, I consider it X-Ray's own view. If there's
one thing that Eva has is room for many interpretations over any important
(or less important) event of the story...

Gawd, it's an awfully long explanation, isn't it? Serves you as lesson, X-
Ray,for giving me too much room!

X-Ray: Well.. I think that we fanfiction writers are lucky that EBJ doesn't
write but only pre-read.. What do you think?



Train Of Thoughts

Chapter 6

Standard Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned and copyrighted by Gainax,
all characters used from that series are theirs. All names are (TM) and (C) by
their respective owners.

I've never written long texts in English, and this is my first try to write a
fan fiction.

Feel free to send any comment, suggestion, flame, job opportunity etc. etc.

This is a revised version, now I have two pre-readers !

That's incredible but, I guess, isn't enough: even if EBJ ( the evafiction's
Space Black God ), and the new entry James Edwards help me a lot, starting
from the pile of trash that is my draft, some errors could escape, so you are
advised...

If you like ToT, thank them as well, so I can continue writing...

r.giammanco@datastudio.it
e.barone@flasnet.it
theanimeotaku@hotmail.com

One last note: My home page is on http://members.xoom.com/fantasticare.

I know I said I wouldn't use Xoom, Geocities or similar things, but, due
to technical reasons, my provider can't accept home page for a while, so..

In this page, heavy under construction, you can find the revised version of my
fics. Jump on it, and drop me a line if you like it.




Well, Take a seat, and enjoy yourselves.

__________________Time to be brave/Why did you lie to me?______________________

Kensuke grabbed Shinji's shoulder and said him in the ear: "The Nerv security!
What do we do now!"

Shi: "I think we can't do anything more than protect Asuka.."

Ken: "Well.. I don't think we'll be able to hide our actions.."

Ran: "Don't move! Don't make a move.. There! They are over there! Get them!"

Hikari cried: "Ikari! Aida! What do we do now?"

Shinji came closer to Hikari and to Asuka, who was still sitting on the table,
and he helped her to stand on her feet. She'd fallen, if not helped by Hikari,
who circled her waist with her left hand, and put Asukas's right arm over her
shoulders. Asuka started to dry her eyes asking: "What's happening?"
Kensuke was now near her and said: "Nothing, it's time to face our worst
nightmare." Asuka couldn't see well, due to her blurred vision; she narrowed her
eyes to see better, but she couldn't make out anything well... "Hikari, what's
going on?"

Hik: "Shh.. Asuka.. They are after us.. after you.. Stay quiet."

Hikari backed to the pillar, and leaned against it. Shinji and Kensuke
covered them with their bodies.

Shi: "That reminds me of a time.."

Ken: "Yes.. This time we have to protect two girls.. what do we do?"

Shi: "We'll see.."

They were fast circled by the four men and the woman, hands into the jackets,
over their handguns.

Circled were also the doctor and the nurse, not because the Nerv men knew who
they were, but only because they stood near the children. The nurse was standing
behind the doctor, with her hands over his shoulders.

The leader of the small squad, the only woman present there, made a step
forward, and looked at Asuka, who was trembling against Hikari.

Ran: "Seems to me that someone didn't do his job.. Who are you?"

She asked to the doctor and the nurse.

Ich: "I'm doctor Ichiro Kusanagi. I've been asked to check the patients of room
204. I've read her documentation and found an error into the therapy
prescription. I've removed the wrong substances from her body. Now she's
better and ready to go back to work. Since I'm not a Nerv employee, I
expect a good prize in cash or to be enrolled as her personal doctor."

Ran: "Wow, Doc. Looks like you're a genius.. But there is a problem: you
weren't supposed to modify her prescribed therapy."

Ich: "I'm a doctor. I do what's better for my patients."

Ran: "Well.. I don't want to have any responsibilities. You are coming with us
to Nerv HQ. This way, please."

Doctor Ichiro and the nurse leaded the way, Kensuke and Shinji led the girls do
after them, and they closed the queue.

Shi: 'What Should I do, now? I can't involve the nurse, while Kusanagi
threw himself in the middle of the fire. I don't doubt that he'll act so
even at HQ too.. where we'll be brought in front of my father. I'm sure.
Only a miracle could save us from him. Maybe we could save ourselves: if
he decides that Asuka is usable as a pilot, he'll let her in peace.. I
must prepare her.. But how can I? She's still trembling, she has been
tortured, for her own sake, but tortured to tell the truth, and now I'm
going to ask her to be ready to pilot the eva again? Yet I must do it..'

They were approaching to the hospital's exit where there were a Nerv van and
a couple of cars. Fearing to be split from Asuka, he swayed between the two
girls saying: "You look tired, Hikari. Let me bring Asuka."

Hikari was a bit surprised, but let him act and went to the back row.. "What's
he going to do now?" she whispered to Kensuke, who replied: "I don't know..
Asking her for a date?"

The Nerv men looked curiously at a boy hit to death by a little girl..

'Shinji is holding me? Why is he doing it?.. I feel.. more serene... I feel
happy.. Then is it true? Do I like him? Do I care about him ? No.. I've never
done anything for him.. I've only toyed with him.. And now he is at my side..
How pathetic I am..'

Shinji was tense like a violin's chord. His tension diminished when all the kids
were put into the van, with two Nerv men in the first row, one of them driving,
being Ranko. Kensuke and Hikari quickly sat in the middle row, while Shinji
and Asuka sat in the back row.

Shi: 'I hope the doctor and the nurse will be fine.. But I can do nothing for
them just know..'

Shinji waited for the van to start, and then exchanged a glance with Kensuke.
He seemed to understand, and start to argue with Hikari: "I've told you, class
rep.It's only your fault!"

Hikari couldn't understand: "My fault? What are you talking about?"

Ken: "What could be ? Go and see Asuka. Just a couple of hours.. and now we'll
spend the rest of our life in jail!"

Hik: "Aida! Have you gone nuts?"

Shinji chose that moment to speak to Asuka, still holding her firmly against
him: "Asuka, listen to me.." She moved slightly, and nodded.

Shi: "We are going to see my father."

She tensed, he could feel it: "He ordered to keep you under sedatives,
after you did what you did."

Asuka shivered.. 'Commander Ikari.. He's a bastard.. How he could be Shinji's
father.. well.. I've never asked him about his mother.. Maybe he's more like
her..'

Shinji shook her: "Are you listening to me?"

Asu: "So.. Sorry.. I was thinking.. What did you say?"

Shi: "Asuka, we have to convince him you're fine, at least in the mind, since
your body hasn't still recovered. We must make him think you can pilot the
eva."

Asuka lowered her head and said: "I.. I don't know if I'll be able to pilot it
anymore.."

Shi: "Please.. Asuka.. It's for your own sake: weren't you the one who lived to
pilot the eva?"

Asuka turned her head away: "Yes.. and it led me to commit suicide."

Shinji bit his low lips, so hard to almost tear it. 'Idiot.'

Shi: "You must do it, you must. If you don't want to do it for yourself, do it
for Hikari, for Kensuke, for me. They'll be in trouble if you don't help
them. Me and them have disobeyed orders, have damaged Nerv properties,
have abducted you to bring you to the bathroom.. They've helped you, and
now is your turn to do something for them.. they are your friends..."

Meanwhile..

Ken: "I can't really stand you when you put your hands over your hips!
Can't you understand you're as fat as an elephant?"

Hik: "WHHHHHHAAAATTTTTTT??"
..

Asu: "I wasn't able to do it before, why It should work now?"

Shi: "Asuka.. You've gone through a hard path.. I'm sure you'll become
stronger from now on. Not your past strength, but a new one. You were the
best pilot, and you couldn't stand that someone could beat you. But there
is no shame in being won, the world is so big.. There will always be
somebody better than you.."

Asu: "Yes. You can speak now, because you are the best. You can't speak so to
me."

Shinji looked sad: "Why don't you want do listen to me? You've never listened to
me.. Even now.. Asuka.. I'm not a pilot anymore. After the last angel, I haven't
been to he HQ. Only Ayanami continues to undergo Sync-tests and harmonic-tests.
I'm no better than you. I don't know if I would be able to pilot anymore."

Asuka lifted her head, looking to him, a surprised expression on her face:
"The .. the last angel? The 17°? How it was?"

Shinji looked away: "I'll tell you all, but not now. All I could say it's that
he used your unit-02."

An hint of rage crossed her eyes: "What? An angel used my unit-02? How could
he? But.. But now it's alright, isn't it? You told me the Commander would make
me pilot it.."

Shi: "Yes.. I was able to stop it without damaging it too much.."

Asuka eyes went wide, she grabbed his collar, while he started sweating: "You
damaged my unit two?"

Shinji gulped: "I didn't have much of a choice.. You must understand...
Please.."

Asuka nodded, but didn't release her grip, not very strong, to tell the truth:
"What was the angel like? That slime like the one who attacked Toji's eva?"

Shinji expression darkened: "No.. It looked like a kid, just like you and me.. I
liked he.. He was.. nice to me.. He told me I deserved kindness.. then he
betrayed me. Being alone, I made friendship with an angel. Then, I killed him. I
squeezed him in my eva's hand. He decided to die by my hands to save me, you,
humankind. I once said to Misato that he was the one who should've survived. She
said that I was wrong: "Only the one who wants to live survives." I don't now if
he didn't want to live, or if he sacrificed himself for our sakes. I'm sure he
could beat me if he only wanted. We are still alive, and we owe our life to an
angel. If our life was a gift, whether from God or from our parents, we can't
throw it away. We must fight against those who want to harm us. Now we must
fight against my father. Misato told me he was up to something else. From what
I've learned, the angel's threat is apparently finished. But he is still
rebuilding the H.Q. We must be there to act in the shadows.
He knows we don't like him, but until we are the only ones who can
pilot the Evas, he'll need our help. I'll ask him to be put back in active
roster again. We could be able to stop him.."

Asu: "As long he can use the dummy-plug, we are useless.."

Shinji grinned: "Don't you remember? Unit-01 refused Rei and the dummy-plug,
once. It could happen again, even with unit-02. He can't risk to remain with
inactive units. And besides.. Maybe he doesn't have dummy-plugs anymore.. Doctor
Akagi gave him a good goodbye gift.."

Asu: "Doctor Akagi? Has she left?"

Shi: "Not really.. from what I've learned, she's under arrest.."

Asu: "I can't believe it..."

Hik: "You'll never be able to find someone who will care about you, never !
And if some poor girl would ever happen to be interested in you, I'll
explain her error and make sure you'll be left at once!"

Ken: "Don't make me laugh! You, who can't even express your feelings towards
Toji!"

Nerv Man: "Shut up! Ehi, Ranko ! What do we do with these two children? We

can't carry them with us all the way! They are pissing me off!"

Ranko: "You're right.. Let me see.."

She picked the phone and made a call.

This alerted all the children in the van, who looked in terror at them. The
first man was looking at Kensuke and Hikari with an evil look.

Ran: "What do we do with the other two children?"

Ran: "..."

Ran: "I see. We are almost there. We'll send them to you as soon as possible."

Nerv man: "Well?"

Ran: "We're stopping to drop them to the minority jail. They'll be interrogated
in a second time."

Kensuke's eye widened, while Hikari joined her hands and started to cry in
silence.

Shinji was startled, but soon recovered: he stood and moved forward his chest,
putting his hands on the seat in front of him..

Shi: "You won't drop anybody. You'll bring all of us to my father."

Ranko looked perplexed over her shoulder, while the other man started to laugh:
"Oh, yes? Well, I'm sorry to inform you that we don't take orders from you, you
little brat!"

Shinji bent forward: "You'll do what I said."

Nerv man: "You son of a bitch! Well do how we were ordered, and if you try to
binder me, you'll need a new nose!"

Shi: "Do you know what will happen to you if you harm an eva pilot? Do you want
to get fir.."

Before he could finish his sentence, he got punched in the jaw. He was violently
thrown back into his seat, blood flowing from is mouth.

Asu: "Shinji!"

Ken: "Oh my god!"

Shinji dried his blood with his left arm, and grinned: "Now you're in trouble.
My father will kill you."

Nerv man: "You resisted to us. I had to hit you."

Shi: "It'll take more than a punch in the jaw to divide me from my friends. I
won't let you take them away from me."

Nerv man, drawing his handgun out of his pocket and pointing to him: "It will be
a pleasure to shoot you in the legs! Give me a reason!"

Shinji threw himself forward, pushing his forehead against the gun's barrel:
"You'll need more than shooting me in my legs! You'll need to kill me, because
I won't let you do what you want!"

The security man was furious. He pulled off the safe and loaded the gun, and
with a face near the madness, shouted: "You'll do what I told you, or I'll kill
you! I know your father doesn't care about you. You're just a tool, and so
expendable! I'm sure I'll get a promotion if I kil you!"

Shinji laughed: "How many times do I have to tell you, clever one? I might be a
tool, but the only tool that can activate unit-01. Are you still sure that my
father will forgive you?"

Before the man could reply, Ranko suddenly hit his hand from below, causing
him to pull the trigger and shoot the bullet. Fortunately, the hit was
sufficiently hard to lift the gun over Shinji's head, the bullet hitting the
ceiling and flying outside.

Ranko: "Put immediately your gun away! Or I'll kill you at once!"

She stopped the van, got down and pushed the man to the driving seat: "Now
you'll drive, and I'll make sure you don't get paid for the next three months!"

Nman: "But I.."

Ran: "Give me your gun and Nerv id card, then. You are suspended from active
roster right now."

Nerv man: "But.. But.."

Ranko pressed her gun against the other's chest: "Give me your gun." He slowly
complied, and then gave her the Nerv card too. Then he left the van.

Ranko returned to the driving seat and started to drive again. Shinji was still
standing there, bent between two seat rows, at a strange angle, looking ahead
with a firm expression..

Ranko looked at him in the mirror, and said: "Sorry, kid. We weren't
supposed to harm you."

Shinji didn't relax: "What will you do now?"

Ran: "..", she picked the phone and made a call.

Ran: "Sir ? I have a medical emergency. I'll drive straight to HQ's infirmary
before to report... No, nothings serious, commander's son got injured..
Yes, but
he is bleeding heavily, I don't like this.. Yes I'll take care of all
four.. No,
I haven't dropped the strangers yet, I will in the way back. I'll keep an
eye on
them.. Yes, sir."

She dropped the phone, and said: "For now you'll stay together. But I don't
know how long it will last."

Shinji returned to seat: "Thanks."

Ran: "You've been a fool, you could get killed."

Shi: "If he wouldn't stop, you would have stopped him. besides all, I'm still
important for Nerv."

Ran: "What if I were too busy to act?"

Shi: "It was a bet. But I was rather sure that in a way or in another, I would
have gotten what I wanted."

Ran: "You risked your life. I never thought you could be so brave, seems you've
changed from the first time I saw you during my duty."

Shi: "Things change, so people do. I'd like my friends not to be harmed, when
we'll have to be split.. Can I ask you to take care of them?"

Ran: "You're asking a wolf to watch over sheeps.."

Shi: "I've no other options and, besides, you seem a good hearted woman."

Ran: "Appearances lie."

Shi: "It'll be another bet."

Ran: "Well.. It's time to get blinded, good non vision."

Saying so, she pushed a couple of switches, causing the panes to became black,
while a rising wall from the back of the seats split the two couples of kids
from
each other.

'I should have kept each of them far from the others, because, how the things
are going on, they will be all interrogated. I had to avoid that they planned
something together, but at least I still have two groups, so the discrepancies
could still arise..'

Only then, Asuka found the courage to speak: "Why?.. Why, Shinji?"

He was now intent to block his blood: 'It's the second time in two days I get
punched.. I hope this won't become an habit..'

Asu: "Shinji!"

Shi: "Oh, yes Asuka,tell me."

Asuka slapped him. At least, she tried to. She was too weak, and it was like
a fake slap, but her glare, so full of anger and sadness stated otherwise..

Shinji used the same hand with whom he was blocking his blood to caress his
cheek, leaving a strain of blood over it ".. Asuka.. Why did you hit me?"

Asuka's eye watered: "How could you be such an idiot! What were you thinking to
do? Arguing with a man with a gun! Inciting him to shoot you! You are crazy! You
were pursing your death! He would've shoot. It is a miracle you are still
alive!"

Shinji returned his hands to press against his lips smirking: "All went as
planned." He didn't know, nor Asuka, but with a pair of glasses, a beard and
white gloves in front of his mouth, he could be the perfect copy of his father.
Asuka frowned: "As planned? Being shoot a couple of centimeters from
your own head is a plan?"

Shinji giggled: "Well.. sort of.."

Asuka crossed her arms, and turned her head away: "You're hopeless. I won't
bring flowers to your grave. I'll spit over it."

Shinji didn't reply.. 'If there will be a corpse in it..' after a bit, he turned
his face to look at her. He could only look at her back, and at a distorted
image on the black glass. 'She is crying? Why?'

He moved forward his head to look at her face, putting a hand over her shoulder:
"Asuka.." She turned further her head to the seat, asking angry: "What the
hell do you want now?"

Shi: "Will you pilot the unit-02 if asked to?"

Asu: ".."

Shinji pulled her shoulder to himself with one hand, being unable to use the
other, still covered by his own blood: "Will you do it?"

Asuka uncrossed her arms and put her hands on her lap, looking to them: "I won't
be able. I know. I'm useless."

Shinji hit the back pane with all his strength, causing it to break a bit.
Pieces of glass pierced his flesh, causing his good hand to bleed as well. "Damn
you! Asuka! Why don't you want to understand! There is no choice! You must do
it, or it'll be over!".

She bent her head further, resting it on her chin, and continued crying.. "It's
useless. I'm worthless.."

Shinji was very angry now: he grabbed her by the shoulders, not caring anymore
to dirt her dress, and shook her. "Asuka! Asuka!" She didn't oppose resistance,
and this drove him beyond the edge. He didn't think. He just slapped her. Hard.
With all of his strength. She slowly touched her check and raised her glare. She
saw him, he was looking at her, his hand still raised, a mask of sadness on his
face.

Asu: "Why?"

Shinji lowered his hand, and said: "Nothing. I'm not expecting anything from you
anymore. I'm tired. I've tried to be your friend. I've tried to help you. Now
I've had enough. Do as you wish."

He turned his body and rested his head on the back of the seat, giving his back
to her. She didn't make a move, she simply continued crying, louder and louder.

Asu: 'He.. He too. He too left me alone. Now that I am useless, they abandon
me. I hate them. I hate them all !'

Shi: 'I'm not running away. Am I ? I've tried everything I could. She doesn't w
ant to understand. I can't help her, if she doesn't want to be helped. I'm
useless.'

They continued to stay away, Asuka still crying, Shinji silently listening to
her.

After a bit, the van come to a stop, and started to be brought from some
machinery.. 'We are entering the geo-front.. What can I do? In no more than
twenty minutes we'll be in front of my father. Asuka is in such a state.. What
can I do? She is still crying..' He narrowed his eyes: 'I mustn't run away. I
mustn't run away.'

He turned to her, and hugged her from behind, kissing her on the head. She
yelled, and tried to escape it, but his grip tightened: "Let me go! What do you
Think you're doing, jerk?"

Shi: "I won't let you go. Not for a bit. I want to hug you. I want to share
warmth with you. I want to tickle you."

So he started tickling her under her arms. She started laughing softly, more and
more louder... "Shinji! Stop! Shinji! Stop! AH aH! Let me go ! Ah Ah Let me go!
I beg you... "

He let her go, and she landed on the seat laughing, then she turned to look at
him, an angry glare on her eyes: "What the he.." her words died in her throat;
Shinji was staring at her. Intensely. He started to come closer, closer.. Her
heart jumped up to her throat, she tried to say something, but now he was so
close, that she could feel his warm breath on her skin.. She closed her eyes..
'What does he want to do? . He couldn't want.. No.. It's impossible, he couldn't
dare to kiss me.. He knows I'll kill him.. But.. Why am I so confused.. Why am
I trembling? Why..'

Her thoughts were stopped by the soft touch of a pair of lips on her forehead.
She slowly opened her eyes, to see Shinji's head getting away.

He was looking at her with a soft smile in his face:

Shi: "Asuka. Be brave. I don't want to loose you. Two nights ago Misato kissed
me on the forehead, like a mother would kiss her child. If you open your
heart to us, we will be a family, and we'll never be alone again. I'll
never abandon you. That's a promise. You'll never be alone again. I'll
always be there for you when you'll need me. You can always count on me.
Don't push away my offer. Don't push away those who care about you.
Accepting our help won't make you weaker. Alone we are nothing, together
we can rock the sky. Open your heart. I wish you good luck; when we will
be brought in front of my father, don't be afraid of him. He has harmed
you, but if you will be afraid of him, he'll win. And if he orders you to
pilot unit-02, try to pilot it. With all your strength, with all your
mind, with all your will, with all your heart. Do it, and be brave, my
little Asuka."

He finished caressing her cheek with his injured hand, leaving red sign on her
face. She looked at him, slowly letting the words sink into her hearth. She
was still crying now, but this time were tears of joy.. "You'll never leave me
alone?"

Shi: "Never."

Asuka threw herself against his chest, sobbing quietly. He closed his embrace
over her, rocking slowly back and forth as if to make her sleep. He even started
to sing a little lullaby he remembered from when he was still a child. It was
really strange.. He hadn't thought about it for years.. How could it be.. You
study an equation one day, and the day after you've already forgotten it. It's
so strange.. The human mind is so strange and complex.. What is a man? Why are
we here? Where are we going? And God.. Is God watching over us?

She eventually drifted into a deep sleep, and he stopped singing, stroking her
hair with his left hand, leaving traces of blood over it.

Shi: 'Kensuke, I hope this will work. I've said things without even reasoning
over them. Maybe they were spontaneous, but will I be able to keep my
promise? Will I be able to protect her from the pain, from the loneliness?
A person can't depend from others. Now she's weak, she needs me. She needs
help. But she must find a bound. Once Rei told me the eva was a bound to
my father. Asuka's bound was the eva too. And my bound ? Is the eva my
bound to the others too? Why am I here? Because I am the pilot of the eva
unit-01. Without it, I'd never met Kensuke, Toji,Misato, Rei, Asuka.. Is
it right ? Is this fate ? Were we born to fight, to die with the eva?
That's not right. Why others could live a normal life, while we are damned
to live so? I told you eva is a damnation. I am still convinced of
it.'

Feeling Asuka breathe regularly, he leaned against the door, and slowly closed
his eyes: 'That's not the right moment.. to sleep.. we are almost there...'
But the warmth he was sharing with Asuka, it felt so good, he couldn't do
anything else but drift in a light sleep.

..

In the middle row, after they were left alone, Hikari was on a verge of a
crisis : "Oh my god! Oh my god! We are stuck here ! What are the others doing?"
She started knocking on the front glass: "Please! Open us! I can't stand this!"

Kensuke tried to grab her arms: "It's useless, Class rep. Stop this nonsense."

But she didn't listen to him, and started to knock frantically: "Open up!
Open up!"

Ken: 'She is claustrophobic? I don't think so.. Or just she's just panicking..
That would be a problem..'

He grabbed her by her left shoulder and tried to pull her back, without any
results, so he used more drastic measures: he grabbed her from behind with
both hands and pushed her to the seat: "Hikari, Hikari! Calm down! We'll be
fine! Haven't you heard what that woman told Shinji? It'll be fine!"

She wasn't paying attention, and continued to turn her gaze to all the corners
of their little left breathing space.. So he tried the last resort, slapping her
across the face. It seemed work, she looked stunned at him, not even bothering
to check her cheek.

Ken: 'Incredible ! I've always thought this was a bullshit.. Well, thanks to
the sit-coms.'

Ken: "Are you okay, class rep?"

Hik: ".."

Ken: "Class rep? Are you okay?"

Hik: "I'm.. I'm okay.."

Kensuke released his grip and turned to seat, still facing her: "You know, when
I'll tell Toji I slapped you, He'll make me repent I was born.."

Hikari looked at him still a bit dazed. After a bit she started to regain her
color, and managed a smile: "I'll make sure he will."

Kensuke scratched his head: "Then it's better if I write down my testament: I,
Kensuke Aida, leave my camera to Shinji, to film Misato in the bathroom.."

Hik: "I can't believe you, Aida! Asuka is right, you are nothing more than a
jerk!"

And started to pull his right ear. To her surprise, he didn't protest, or say
anything. He just looked at her, calmly. So she left him. And looked back at
him questioningly.

Ken: "It's good to see you're feeling better, class rep."

Hik: ".. You could be a good guy.. Why do you act so ? Why could you be so
inopportune?"

Then, remembering something, "And why did you say I was fat?!?"

Ken: "Sorry! I wanted to make noise, so Shinji could speak to Asuka
unnoticed.."

Hikari looked suspicious at him: "Couldn't you tell me that?"

Ken: "Didn't have the time.."

Hik: "Still, you haven't told me why you act so incoherently."

Kensuke braced himself: "I don't think I act in a strange way. From time to
time, I act for what I think it's the better, and I search to put all in
ridiculous.. Have you read the Scott's Ivanhoe?"

Hikari shook her head: "Scott?"

Kensuke cleared his glasses, while speaking: "Walter Scott, lived in the XIX
century, in the first half. He gave a formidable contribute to a new kind of
expression, the historical novel. I like it very much because there are King
Richard, Robin Hood, Little John, Ivanhoe.. There are knights fighting for a
lady, betrayals, murders.. There is a very lonely lady, a Jew lady, fallen in
love with the Christian Ivanhoe, who hates her because of her religion.. But in
the end he saves her nearly at the cost of his life.."

Hikari listened without being able to find any meaning in what he was saying..

Ken: "There are very hateful knights, that aren't the loyal ones one usually
pictures. There is fight for the power, a King without a reign, robbery
and war.
There is a minstrel, Wanda I think.., well, this little man is responsible
for
the life of King Richard. He helps his Sire making jokes and laughing at
others.. He is half mad, but his madness doesn't overpower his loyalty to
his
Sire, to his King.
Well.. I think I'm similar. I try to be the lighting-conductor in every
situation, to lighten conflicts. I try to lighten the situation when it's
getting dark. But this isn't the true myself. This is the mask I choose to
wear."

Hik: "Mask?"

Kensuke nodded: "We are like in a big theater. We are all actors acting in front
of God, of each other if you want. Each one wears a mask, knowing or not."

Hik: "I don't get it."

Ken: "It doesn't matter. I don't either."

Hikari giggled a bit: "You know, you're very strange, Kensuke. I'm very
happy you and Shinji are Toji's friend."

Kensuke grinned: "Can I hope than you won't scold me back at school?"

Hikari grinned back: "On the contrary: I'll follow you everywhere. When you'll
do something wrong, I'll be there to punish you. That's what you get for telling
me I'm fat."

Kensuke comically lifted his clenched fits to the sky: "Life it's not fair!"

Hikari giggled: "I think you should meet my sister Kodama, she'd like you."

Kensuke closed an eyelid: "Kodama? Isn't she your elder sister?"

Hik: "Yes, she is seventeen."

Ken: "Don't you think she is a bit too old for me? I mean, usually the man is
always older than the woman.."

Hik: "I know. I know also men live shorter than women. So you live with us for
all your life, and then you leave us alone, with the recommendation to
stay alone for the rest of our life!"

Ken: "But.. I didn't mean.."

Hikari grinned evilly: "I'll introduce you to her, saying you need to be
straightened. She is a convicted feminist, and a class rep as well."

Ken: "Oh my dear Lord!"

Hik: "Now tell me.. How is Ivanhoe's story?"

Ken: "Well.. At the time of the Crusades.."

It was around 17:00, and in the same time Rei and Misato were leaving the
mall. With no bags of sort.

Mis: "Ahhh!! Now I feel better!"

Rei: ".."

Mis: "Now, Rei. You must go and wait for the things to be delivered. They'll
be at home around 18:00. As I said, you can wait in your apartment or in
ours
Here is my key. It's very late, and I must go back to work. It's better if
you
stop by your old house to pack your things. We'll get them later. Bye!"

So she left without waiting for a response, leaving Rei alone in the middle of a
huge place. She stood there for a bit, then headed to the next train station,
her home as destination.

..

Ranko finally stopped the van in the underground garage. Well, a garage under
the floor level of the geo-front..
She looked around. The other cars were already there: "That's not a surprise..
The doctor and the nurse were probably already under pressure.. first I have to
stop at the infirmary, as I reported.."

She opened the back door, saying: "Okay guys, time to wal.." and she had to
grab a couple of sleeping kids before they fell on the ground.. "Shit!"
She had a hard time putting them back over the seats, and they didn't even
awaken. Finally, she could catch some breath, seeing them safe: "Phew.. That was
close.."
She looked curiously at the strange couple of kids, pressed the one against the
other.. "I didn't remember they were so close. To tell the truth, the girl was
used to treat him like an old shoe. Sometimes, I felt sorry for him.. When I was
in duty to follow him..."

She stood there looking at the sleeping couple with a puzzled expression on her
face, her arms crossed behind her neck.

"Well.. time to get back to business.." She tapped Shinji on his shoulder:
"Ikari.Kid. Time to go now."

He slowly opened his eyelids, opening his embrace and stretching his arms:
"Where are we?"

Ran: "We are at Nerv HQ. Next we'll stop at the infirmary. Help your friend."

Shinji nodded and started to wake Asuka, while Ranko opened the other doors.
Now the kids were all together, Shinji supporting Asuka. Ranko stood behind them
and showed the path to take. They entered the HQ from a secondary entrance,
looked at sight from Nerv security personnel and started walking.

Shinji was perplex: "I don't know this part of the Nerv HQ..."

Ran: "It is because we are in the security sector and heading to the infirmary
from behind.", 'I wonder if I should have blinded them all.. But that
would've
made it hard to lead them.. Why didn't I ask somebody to help me..'

They finally reached the infirmary. First they thought Asuka was the hurt one,
because she was unable to walk alone and with traces of blood over her face and
dress, then they were told Shinji was the wounded one...

"It's nothing serious.. You could've fixwd it with the first aid kit." The
doctor on duty told to Ranko, a stern expression on his face.

Ran: "Well.. He's the commander son, you know.. I preferred to not risk to
get fired.."

Doc: "I see.. Well, It'll be nothing more than an annoyance for me to remove
the glass shards from his hand.. Come here, boy."

While Shinji was under the operation, Asuka sat on a chair, Hikari tried to ask
her how Shinji had gotten his hand hurt, but Ranko stopped her.
So she could only tell to Kensuke: "What the hell happened back in the van?"

Ken: "Maybe he lost his temper.."

Hik: "Who, Shinji?"

Ken: "Perhaps he's not an angel, after all?

Hikari widened her eyes: "An angel?"

Ken: "Yes, a good one."

Hik: "Oh."

While the doctor was bandaging Shinji's hand, Ranko's phone went off, and she
opened it: "Yes sir?.. I'm in the infirmary just now. I'll be bac.. What?.. I
see. They are all here. Do I have to bring them all?.. I see. I'll be there as
soon as the doctor finishes here."

Shinji looked at her, an interrogative expression.

Ran: "You're going to see your father. It looks like what the nurse and the
doctor have said isn't good for you."

Hikari and Kensuke went pale, while Asuka didn't understand well the full
meaning of that short exchange.

Shinji thought a bit: 'That's must be a trick. I've always seen it on the tv,
and I won't be tricked. I'm sure the nurse and the good doctor didn't say
anything about our plans and our little trip to the bathroom, so the only thing
to worry about is Asuka's awakening in the bar..'

He looked at Kensuke as if wishing to speak to him, but he shook his head a
little and glanced towards the Nerv woman. Shinji saw her keeping her eyes
on Asuka and Hikari, who were pretty close, and remembered how she didn't
let the two speaking. 'She doesn't want us to communicate.. How can I do?'

Shi: "Excuse me, but we have nothing more to say than the Doctor and the
nurse:we went there only to visit Asuka, and followed her when he brought
her
away for some tests. We only changed her dress. Obviously th"

He was stopped by a gun pointed to him: "Very clever kid. I won't get fired
because of you. From now on, it's forbidden to breathe. Do I make myself
clear?"

Shinji and the others nodded, 'I hope they understood.. I think Kensuke caught
the idea, I'm not sure about Hikari and Asuka.. Well.. I don't think my father
is stupid. He'll find the truth. Our only hope is Asuka.'

Finally, the doctor finished, curing his lips too: "Seems to me you get
beaten too often, kid. Try to defend yourself.."

Shinji stood, his hand in the other: " Hard to do that with people bigger than
I am, Doctor."

Ran: "Come on, this way."

The next trip was like a funeral march. The kids in front, head low, and
Ranko behind controlling their movements. They were heading to the Commander's
office, when they crossed Hyuga. He was walking to the near rest room when he
saw them. He was speechless, first seeing only the children and recognizing
them: 'Asuka? Wasn't she in the hospital in the surface? And their friends.. How
could they enter the HQ?' Then he saw the Nerv guard, a lt., escorting them. He
stopped and spoke to the woman.

Hyu: "Were are you driving those children, lt.?"

Ran: "It's not of your concern. I have my orders."

She stopped briefly, but then continued to push forward the children. So Hyuga,
being overtaken, turned and pulled her by the shoulder, only to find himself
with a gun under his nose: "I thought I was clear. I can use the force if you
wish." The children looked back, looking at the scene.

Hyuga slowly lifted his hands to his head, not daring to speak anymore.

Ran: "Good. Have a nice day. Come on, kids."

Hyuga stood there until they disappeared to the next angle, then he started
to run: 'there is something wrong here. I think it's my duty to report
immediately to Major Katsuragi.' He found her under a pile of reports,
mumbling about the time lost in the morning. She had just arrived, and she was
wondering about just leaving.. 'The shift ends at 18:00.. it's already 17:30..'.

Hyu: "Major!" He was panting hard, and landed on the desk causing all the
reports to fall down to the ground.

Mis: "Hygua! What the hell are you doing?"

Hyu: "Shinji!... Asuka!"

Misato stood, fear in her eyes. She was shaking, her hands trembling. She raised
them slowly, grabbing Hyuga by the collar: "What happened? Where are they?
Speak, Damn it!"

Hyuga waited to regain some breath to explain what he had seen, causing
Misato to become exasperated: "Hyuga! Tell me!"

Hyg: "I saw.. I saw them in the B-2 corridor, level 2. Near the commander's
office.."

He waited for the last words to sink in, looking at Misato straight into her
eyes.

She looked back, now extraordinarily calm. She had perfectly understood what
Hyuga meant. She slowly released her grip. She continued looking at him.

Mis: "Asuka is supposed to be unconscious back in the hospital."

It wasn't meant to counter what Hyuga had just said, it was only a try to
rationalize, and to put the ideas in the right order..

Hyg: "Well.. She didn't look very well.. She walked supported by Shinji.. It
looked like she wasn't able to walk alone.."

Mis: "Something must've happened back in the hospital..

Hyg: "..Major.."

Mis: "Yes?"

Hyg: "I saw two other children with them, one was one of those that had climbed
into unit-01 during the fourth angel's attack.."

Misato was even more worried: "Kensuke and Hikari ? That's not good. That's
absolutely not good. Hyuga, follow me."

She started to run, but soon stopped, noticing Hyuga absence.. She looked
back in her room, finding a confused young man..

Mis: "Hyuga?"

Hyu: "Major.. I.. I'm sorry.. I don't want.. You know.."

Misato nodded, patting him on his shoulder: "Don't worry, you have already
done a lot. Now I must go."

Hyuga crashed on a chair, sighing: "I'm a coward.."

Misato ran as fast as she could.. "That's definitely the end."

When she finally was about to reach the office, she was stopped in a doorway by
the Nerv guards that usually stood outside the commander office.

"We're sorry, Major. No one is allowed until new orders from the Commander."

Misato panted: "I must see Commander.. It's a matter of life or death!"

The men embraced their uzis..: "We're terribly sorry. We were ordered to shoot
on sight whoever tried to pass this door."

Misato: 'Shit. I guess I can't do more.' "When the commander will know you
didn't let me pass, he'll be furious, and he'll have your asses!"

A guard laughed: "Sorry, Major. But our main task is to stop you."

Misato didn't make a move, she simply gritted her teeth: "How strange.."

...

Into the office, in the hall, Ranko was watching Hikari, Kensuke and Shinji,
while Asuka was the first to be introduced by the Gendo's attendant to him.

Shi: 'That bastard. Straight to the weakest link. I wouldn't be surprised if
the next one will be Hikari. The next.. He doesn't know much Kensuke, so
probably he'll be interrogated before me. I hope that they won't speak too
much.. Perhaps, he won't even interrogate me.. That bastard!'

He started clenching and unclenching his good hand. He'd tear his flesh if his
nails had been longer..

Kensuke looked at him, and started wondering.. 'I'll see the supreme
Commander..I've never seen him before.. Will He look like Shinji? What will I
say? I must protect Shinji and Asuka, and I must cover my ass.. If he finds out
I've tampered with Nerv's microphones in the hospital.. I'm dead.'

Actually, the security's head had ordered to check the hospital room
by his own will, and had already reported about the devices they'd found. He had
already written a pre draft report, to inform immediately the Commander. It
arrived ten minutes before the kids to his office, since they had taken a longer
path.

Commander Ikari had ordered to all security squad to send a detailed report of
the events of the day from the beginning, and the firsts were just arriving. For
example, before the kids arrived, he was sitting on his desk, his hands crossed
in front of his mouth, looking down at the report describing Rei's unusual
clothing and behavior.

Ika: 'There was something strange after all.'

He looked away from the report, looking at the ceiling, moving back his torso
to lie on the chair. 'Could it modify my scenario? I don't think so. Her will
isn't needed. I need her, not her cooperation.'

He produced a tiny key from his jacket's pocket, opening a drawer. Inside of
it there was an hand-gun and something else. He took the gun, weighting it a
bit, before putting it into his side-pocket. Then he looked down into the empty
drawer, exception made for an empty portrait, the glass broken in different
points, with a web of lines covering its extension..

Gen: '..'

'My sins will never be forgiven.'

He closed the drawer with his key, and started to read the other reports.

After a bit, his attendant told him the kids were there.

Att: "Which one do you want to see first?"

Gendo pushed his glasses up to his nose, resuming his usual behavior: "Get in
the second children."

Att: "Yes sir."

He returned shortly after helping Asuka to one chair in front of the
Commander's desk.

Att: "I guess she can't stand up."

Ika: "It's not a surprise."

He waited for the attendant to leave, and then shifted his attention to Asuka,
who tried her best to avoid his glare. He started collecting the reports and
ordering them, slowly, very slowly. Asuka, already uneasy, started to get
frightened: 'Shi: "He ordered to keep you under sedatives, after you did what
you did.". I'm useless to him. What do you think I could do, Shinji?' But then
she remembered something else:'Shinji: "Alone we are nothing, together we can
rock the sky. Open your heart. I wish you good luck; when you will will be
brought in front of my father, don't be afraid of him. He has harmed you, but if
you will be afraid of him, he will win. And if he orders you to pilot unit-02,
try to pilot it. With all your strength, with all your mind, with all your will,
with all your heart. Do it, and be brave, my little Asuka." Will I be able to
not disappoint him? Will I be able to fight against this man? He hurt me. He
hurt Shinji. Did he hurt Ayanami? I can't understand his behavior towards her.
It's like Ayanami is his favorite, but sometimes he uses her like she is
expendable.. And I ? Am I expendable? Will I let him take me away from my Eva?
From my home, from my Shinji? 'Shinji.. "Be brave, Asuka. I'll never leave you
alone."' Were are you now, Shinji? They were only words, but why I wish they
came true? I'm alone, this the Armageddon, I know. And I'm still alone.'

Then she remembered a short poem from her college back in Germany. It was
from an Italian writer.. "Ognuno sta solo sul cuor della terra, trafitto da un
raggio di sole. Ed è subito sera." A next translation would be: "Each one stays
alone on the earth's face, hit by a sun-light. And it's already night."

'A man, a woman, a human being, born alone, dies alone. His loneliness is
interrupted only by the love for another human being, but life is short, or the
happiness doesn't last for long. Must we learn to live counting only on
ourselves? This isn't the right thing to do. I've always thought I didn't need
anybody, and that nobody was going to help me. Now, near the abyss, I can say I
was wrong. Shinji made my bento. He cooked for me. He washed my dress. He bought
the food. He helped me. Misato helped me. Hikari helped me. My foster parents
helped me, even if they didn't care about me. I've never said them thanks.'

Gendo's interruption was ill-timed this time. He had waited to make the girl
feel uneasy, but she had gathered her strength: "Pilot Soryu."

Asu: ' Shi: "Asuka, be brave."' She lifted her eyes. They were red, and still
tears were flowing from them, but a resolved expression was clearly
visible on her face.

Asu: "Yes. I am. I am Asuka Soryu Langley. I am the designated pilot of the
Evangelion unit-02."

Her expression hardened: 'Let's play a game, you ass-hole. I won't be taken by
surprise. I won't let you win. That's a promise.'

Gendo pushed up his glasses: "You sound convinced of it. Don't you remember that
you were removed from your duty because of your inability to perform it?"

Asu: 'Son of a bitch! You're playing dirty! But I'm prepared. I've touched the
abyss of despair. I can't go deeper. Now I must climb back.'

"I know. I needed an holiday. Now I'm ready for resuming piloting."

It was surreal: she wasn't even able to straighten her spine, her eyes were
red and sore, tears were still slowly flowing on her cheeks, but her expression
was probably the firmest she'd ever worn.

Ika: "It's not for you to decide whether you can or cannot pilot. You are an
unstable subject. You tried to commit suicide, just like your mother. I
don't need you."

She laughed. It was strange, but she currently laughed. It was a sarcastic
laugh: "You called me in the first place. You let me pilot. And now
you're saying you don't need me."

Ika: "I don't need to give any explanation to you, Soryu. I want to know what
happened back in the hospital."

Asuka was still laughing. Had Ikari been a normal person, this would have driven
him crazy. But he wasn't. He waited until Asuka decided to speak again.

Asu: "You are asking the wrong person, don't you think? I was under sedatives,
do you remember ? I wasn't cured, I was only tied to that damn bed and
driven unconscious !"

The anger was now building inside her, and she grew louder and louder..

Asu: "That was what you ordered! You ordered to make me inoffensive! You
Condemned me to death! You wanted me to die!"

Ikari stood silent, simply watching her. He moved a hand to push his glasses
back up to his nose. Then he spoke calmly:

Ika: "If I only wanted to, you'd already be dead. Instead I protected you from
yourself."

Asu: "Do you sedate everyone you want to protect, Commander? If you are trying
to protect mankind, why don't you sedate all the people of the world ?
That would be wonderful: an sleeping planet!"


Ika: "You haven't answered my question. What happened back in the hospital?"

Asu: "I won't tell you anything."

Ika: "That would be insubordination. "

Asu: "You said I'm not a pilot anymore. Then I'm no more under your
command."

Ikari stood silent for a minute, looking her through his glasses.

Ika: "There is something that you still haven't understood. You're not a
person. You are just a tool for Nerv, even legally. Your flesh is mine.
Your body is mine. And I could take your life, just like it happened to
your mother."

Asuka looked at him shocked. She couldn't understand for a few moments..

Asu: "Wha.. What.. my.. mom ?"

Ika: "Your mother was a test pilot for unit-02 back in Germany. If you can
pilot it now, it's because it first touched your mother's mind then,
driving her
insane. You've been piloting Unit-02. Using it. For all this time. One
could say
you've been using your mother. You served me and the Nerv, so basically
you
betrayed her. You are responsible for her death as well. Using unit-02,
you made
yourself responsible for her death. You're an assassin. You killed your
own
mother."

Asuka listened in horror, images of her mother passing in front of her eyes in
her mind... images of herself piloting Unit-02, memories of her childhood.. she
grabbed her head with her hands, and started to cry

Asu: "Stop.. Please.. Stop.."

Ikari didn't bother to listen to her, he continued assaulting her, not
moving from his usual pose.

Ika: "And as a result, you now can't synchronize with it. You lost your
mother. She abandoned you, for the second time. You are worthless. You
don't
deserve to live. You did the right thing, trying to commit suicide, but
you
weren't able to do that as well."

Asuka, although not willing to, was listening to him. She remembered what the
doctor told her back in the hospital.

Ich: "So! Tell me! You weren't even able to kill yourself. If you can't
succeeded in such a simple task, how could you dare to think you could be
a
pilot? How could you? You are nothing more than a stupid, little kid. You
are
nothing. You don't deserve our pity. You don't deserve our compassion. We
don't
feel sorry for you ! You little brat ! You are nothing ! Nothing! Do you
understand ! Nothing! NOTHING ! NOTHING!"

Asu: "I.. want to live.."

Ika: "It doesn't matter what you want to do. You're nothing. Tell me what
happened in the hospital."

Was the commander trying to break her psychological defenses? Maybe he was about
to reach his goal, because Asuka started speaking slowly, not very aware of what
she was doing, as if in a trance, head down, hands still up to her head.

Asu: "I.. awoke.. finding myself.. in a bath-tub... I was all covered with
lather.."

Ika: "Who was there with you?"

Asu: "Hikari.. and later.. Shinji.."

Ika: "What happened next?"

Asu: "I fainted. I awoke back in a room... There were Kensuke.. Hikari and
Shinji.. He was crying on the floor.. Kensuke said he showed his errors to
Shinji.. I wasn't able to move.."

Ika: "Go on."

Asu: "Later.. I awoke in a.. a bar.. I was on a wheel-chair.. there were
persons talking about me.. they were telling I was mad.. A doctor.. told
me I
was nothing.. I was worthless.. I hadn't even been able to kill myself.. "

Ikari nodded. 'That must be that doctor. I must know more about him.' He took
the phone and made a call to the security head.

Ika: "Are you done with the doctor and the nurse?"

Ika: "..."

Ika: "I see. Then proceed with any measures that could be required. Use of
force or drugs is allowed. I'm expecting information."

Ika: "..."

Ika: "I don't care. She could be the emperor's daughter, she is a threat for
Nerv's security. When you're done, put them in jail in section A-3."

Ika: "..."

Ika: "That's obvious."

Ika: "..."

Ika: "I see. Give sedatives to doctor Akagi and tie her to the bed."

He put the phone back down and turned to look at the girl. She was still crying.
He pushed a button and his attendant entered and approached his desk.

Ika: "Bring her out."

Att: "Where, sir?"

Ika: "Send her back to the hospital, same teraphy. "

Asuka was her own shadow. A frail girl, trembling and shivering. But she heard
that. This was too much. She was aware that this time there wouldn't be a way
out. She'd die there, without regaining conscience anymore, without
seeing...Shinji.. '"You are a woman, you need a man."'..

Asu: 'He promised me he'd help me.. maybe.. maybe.."

She was still head down, hands still up to her head, but managed to speak,
loud: "I don't want go there."

Ika: "You opinion isn't important. Proceed."

Att: "Yes, sir." He started to lift Asuka, who was obviously not helping him.

Asu: "I can pilot unit-02.."

Ika: "I don't need you."

Asuka was desperate.. Not knowing what to do, she gathered all of her breath,
and shouted: "Shinji! Shinji! Help me! Help me!"

Ikari didn't move a finger. He kept looking at her from behind his glasses,
hands in front of his mouth. He kept looking at her, as if not really seeing or
hearing her. Maybe he was surprised, but he didn't show it. The attendant was
more surprised, letting go if her and speeing back a little. Before he could
move the doors swung open, and a silhouette stood in the doorway, light in the
back, in the darkness that usually engulfed the room. Another silhouette
appeared behind the first, stretching an arm to catch it, but before it could,
the person standing in the doorway broke off running towards the desk. The
attendant, taken by surprise, drew out his gun and shot, without thinking.

The sound of the shot echoed in the big room, causing Asuka to scream in fear,
and curling even more to herself.

A strange sound, like a gurgle, could be heard, but nothing could be seen:
probably the light coming from the door was blinding the attendant. He stepped
forward, pushing a button on his remote and turning on the room's light. The
sight took out his breath:

Att: "Oh my god..."

At a couple of steps from the doorway stood Ranko, looking straight in front
of her, an expression of surprise over her face.

Gendo simply lifted and turned a bit his head to look straight to the intruder,
who was now slowly making his way to the desk.

Two armed guards, followed by Captain Katsuragi, entered the hall guns in
hands, only to find two trembling children, so they ran into the commander's
room.

The two children were Hikari and Kensuke. They had been sitting near the wall
opposite to the door to the commander's office. There had been Shinji near them
until a moment before, but now he was gone. They could see him in the room, with
a dark red stain on the right side of his back. Misato spotted him..

Mis: "Shinji! Oh my god!"

She ran to him, while the two other men were still checking the area and were
now aiming to the attendant, who was still with his gun lifted and aimed to the
child.

Misato was now supporting Shinji, and she was panicking: "Oh, my god! He's
been shot! Please! Call a doctor! Call a doctor! Shinji! Shinji!"

He was still slowly walking, almost pulling Misato along, towards Asuka,
who finally found the strength to lift her head and look around. She first saw
Shinji, and smiled. Yes, she smiled.

Asu: 'He's here.. He didn't lie to me.. What? Misato? What is she doing? Who
are those men ?'

Then she returned looking back at Shinji. There was something wrong.. Why was he
holding his hand on his shoulder? Whay was Misato crying? Then, she
remembered...

Asu: 'A moment ago.. was it.. was it a shot ? Shinji?'

Her eyes went wide. she could now make out something dark flowing from under his
hand, slowly spreading over his blue t-shirt. She watched in fear as he
approached her, slowly, one step at time.

In the room, it was like time had stopped for everyone except for Shinji and
Misato. The first slowly pulling her towards the desk, the second
trying to stop him and to bring him to the infirmary.

He finally stood in front of Asuka. He lowered his hand, revealing a big dark
stain on his t-shirt and said: "I am here. Don't be afraid." Then he fainted,
literally collapsing over Asuka, pulling Misato along.

Asuka was forced to lean against the desk's edge, which caused her an
immense pain because of her still frail body. But she didn't pay attention to
her physical pain. A voice screamed inside her head:

Asu: 'He ran to help me! He is here! A shot! He got shot to help me! He
tried to protect me! He didn't lie to me! He's dying, he's dying! He's
dead!"

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

End of Chapter 6


________________________________________________


Well.. Things are taking a strange path..

X-Ray: "The first time I got shot I extracted the 430mm bullet from my
Left harm without even using a knife!"

EBJ: "The first time I got shot I stopped the bullet with my teeth".

X-Ray start thinking about learning the gun-blade technique..

_________________________________________________

Addenda: for this chapter, James hadn't the time to help, so EBJ was alone..
It was an hard work, and I really have to thank him for his help. I think that
without him I wouldn't be here. So, when you send me the greetings, send a copy
to him: for example the Ranko that is present in this chapter was originally a
man. Then he said that it was a woman's name, and I changed it. Maybe I can
arrange some relationship between her and some of our main characters.. I don't
know, because in the draft the things are pretty rough..

As always, this last addenda is by myself, without EBJ help, so don't be
surprised if you find errors!!!

---

Train Of Thoughts

Chapter 7

Standard Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned and copyrighted by Gainax,
all characters used from that series are theirs. All names are (TM) and (C) by
their respective owners.

I've never written long texts in English, and this is my first try to write a
fan fiction.

Feel free to send any comment, suggestion, flame, job opportunity etc. etc.

This is a revised version, now I have again one pre-reader!

James has other important things to do, so..

That's incredible but, I guess, isn't enough: even if EBJ ( the evafiction's
Space Black God ) helps me a lot, starting from the pile of trash that is my
draft, some errors could escape, so you are advised...

If you like ToT, thank him as well, so I can continue writing...

r.giammanco@datastudio.it
e.barone@flasnet.it


One last note: My home page is on http://members.xoom.com/fantasticare.

I know I said I wouldn't use Xoom, Geocities or similar things, but, due
to technical reasons, my provider can't accept home page for a while, so..

In this page, heavy under construction, you can find the revised version of my
fics. Jump on it, and drop me a line if you like it.




Well, Take a seat, and enjoy yourselves.

__________________One precious tear/Are you afraid of me?______________________

Her scream chilled almost everyone's spine in the room, and the two children
outside the office stood up and ran into the room, only to watch in horror as
both Asuka and Shinji had passed out, and a desperate Misato was over them.

The commander was now about 40 centimeters from his son, but stood like a marble
statue. Maybe he was aware that his son wasn't hit to death, or maybe he was
aware that any of his moves could lock the captain's attention. She, in fact
looked at him, anger in her eyes, but she had spared not even a single word to
him.

All in her was showing anger, hatred. Probably, if she hadn't something more
important to do right at that moment, she would've shot him in the face
Instead she shouted in anger:

Mis: "Kensuke! Hikari! Come here!"

Hikari stood on the doorway, while Kensuke ran to help her. Misato took Shinji's
body in her arms, while Kensuke took care of Asuka. While they were leaving the
room, a guard tried to make a move. Misato, who'd been keeping an eye on every
person in the room, didn't leave him the time to act: she had her right arm
under Shinji's knees, the other under his shoulders, and she had still her gun
in her right hand. She pointed it towards his chest, clearly stating that she
wouldn't hesitate to shoot him were he to attempt something.

Passing near Hikari, she shouted her: "Come on! Follow us!" and gave her a push
with Shinji's legs. Hikari shook her head and ran after them.

In the room, the attendant was the first to speak, without turning to face the
commander: "I'm sorry.. Sir.. I didn't want.. to.."

Ika: "You acted well. You've done your job. I have an assignment for you."

Turning to face him, the attendant returned his gun to his holster, and stood as
usual in front of his commander.

Att: "Yes, sir."

Ika: "The gun-license of Captain Katsuragi is outdated. Retire her gun."

Att: "Yes, sir. What about the other two children?"

Ika: "They're useless now. They won't speak on their will, and I don't want to
use drastic measures with them. Not now."

Att: "Very well, sir. I'll go and retrieve the gun right now."

Ika: "Not so fast, or you'll get shot. Wait for half an hour, attendant."

The attendant blushed a bit: "Sorry for my dumbness, sir.", and then left. The
other two men silently left too, leaving Gendo Ikari alone. He picked his phone
and dialed a number.

Ika: "What did you fond out?"

Ika: "..."

Ika: "I see. Send me reports immediately. Cure him and then bring him back to
his cell. Notify their arrest to the civil authority."

He severed the connection, stood up, and went to the window, arms behind his
back.

Ika: 'It's almost show time.'

Suddenly he punched the window with all his strength, with his right gloved
hand, breaking it. Slowly he pulled back his hand and looked it. No sign of
blood.

Ika: 'Maybe I have no blood left to shed.'

He returned to his desk and made a call: "A window in my office got broken.
Repair it immediately."

Then, he dialed another number. "Captain Ibuki. Report here immediately with the
Dummy Plug Bravo results."

A gentle breeze was now coming out from the broken window, and his hair was
being moved by it. He simply said: "Vengeance."

...

It was about 18:00, and Rei was in her new home. She was standing in the hall,
with all her belongings near her on the floor: her school bag, filled with
books, and two plastic bags, filled with clothes, and the bag Shinji had given
her.

In her pocket was a rectangular shaped box containing a pair of glasses.

She had just arrived, and was looking around. The hall had three doors, the
floor was covered with dust, hadn't bothered to change her shoes.
She left all she was carrying here and opened the door in front of her. There
was a corridor, almost 4 meters long and 2 wide, and there were two doors on its
sides, and a glass-door at his end leading to a balcony. She entered the door on
the left, finding herself in a room that was 5*5 mq, almost as large as her
previous home.

There was a glass-door leading north to a balcony, probably the same she had
seen from the corridor, and a door leading south.
Stepping through it she entered a somewhat smaller room, about 4*5 mq, without
windows, and a door leading east. She opened it finding herself in the hall,
were she was a minute before. She entered the door leading east, crossing the
hall. She found herself in a poor lit corner-corridor, leading north and east.

There were three doors and a window, two doors on the northern wall, the window
on the eastern, and another in the southern wall then the corner. She entered
it, finding the bathroom. She went back in the corridor and entered the
opposite door, finding what was obviously a kitchen only because it had a
lavatory and a fridge. It had only one window, no other exits, so she returned
in the corridor and opened the other room. It was almost identical to the second
room she had seen, in fact it was to the opposite side of the first corridor.
She went to the balcony, dust and dirt there too. She leaned against the railing
and started wondering:

'I'm here. Why? Because he told me it would be better. When the officer told me
I could live here, I was..happy, because I would be near him.'

She trailed her glance to her right, looking at the Major's balcony. She could
recognize it by the chairs and the other stuff that were there.

'Still, I lied to the commander. I've never found any difficulties on sleeping
in my room. Instead, last night in Major's apartment, I couldn't sleep.. until I
was with him.'

She started remembering... She saw Shinji in his pajamas in the doorway to his
room looking at her with wide eyes and open mouthed, and then he collapsed on
the floor. She stood there for a while, not really understanding what was
happening.

Then..

'Is he ill? What happened?'

She walked by him, and kneeled down, side to his chest, front to the window so
she didn't cast her shadow over him. She tried to wake him touching softly his
cheeks, like soft slaps. She continued saying: "Ikari.", but at in a low tone of
voice, like not willing to disturb the others, but not being useful to wake him.
She then sat, always looking at him: his expression wasn't serene, a mask of
fear on his features.

'He is worried. He is afraid. Is he afraid of me?'

A pain in her chest exploded at that thought, as a knife was tearing her heart,
splitting her breast, breaking her ribs one by one.. And she came closer to him,
almost face to face..

"Are you afraid of me? Do I scare you? You were the only other person, except
your father, who talked to me. Who treated me like a human being. Who cared
about me."

Now her eyes were watering, and a single tear was able to cross her cheek
covered by a white cream, falling on the floor near his head. She looked at that
single tear shining like a diamond in the moonlight.

'Tears. I'm crying again. I know why I cry, this time. I'm afraid that Ikari
could reject me. I think he knows. When I saw him for real for the first time
back in the hospital, he wasn't aware of my nature. Now I think he knows. No,
I'm sure he knows. His behavior, yesterday, was strange, and his questions were
strange too. I don't know what he really knows, but perhaps this has something
to do with Doctor Akagi's fate, and with the new experiments Captain Ibuki is
performing on me.. Maybe he knows more then I do..'

Now others tears were falling upon the first.. Then she realized he was on the
floor, and tried to pull him up, but she didn't succeed.

'What can I do ?'

She looked at him, an immense sadness in her face. She then sat on the floor
near his head, and put it on her legs. She leaned her back against the wall, and
looked down to him.

'You told me I could be like a mother.. I don't know exactly what is a
mother, but I'm sure it isn't the thing I want to become for you.. But if this
is the only thing I can do for you, then so be it..'

She used her right hand to caress his cheek, his forehead, his hair. His
expression softened, and slightly moved to stand on his side, giving his front
to her.

She did something unexpected: she smiled.

With her face covered with cream, tears running over it, and a gentle smile, her
figure was something frightening and fascinating at the same time. Her red orbs
were like deep wheels of eternal burning fire, where one could get oneself
lost.

She looked away, to the window, and trough it, to the darkness of the night.

"I hope you won't hate me.."

Now she was back to reality, in her new house, tears in her eyes.

"I don't want to cry."

She went back to the hall, and picked up the walkman Shinji gave her. She put it
on and started playing the tape. She returned to the balcony, and stood there,
leaning against the wall, listening to the music, eyes closed.

"It's like.. being with him.."

She stood there, and didn't hear the bell ringing. But, after a moment, she
could sense something moving in the room to her left. She headed to the balcony
door, and looked inside. There was a man, in a blue outfit, doing something with
the switches. Turning then on and off, and testing the power cables. He finished
there and left the room from its eastern exit. She could see him in the
corridor, doing the same things, and then he went in the room from whom she
entered the balcony. He started again to do his stuff, when a breeze made him
turn to face the balcony, where Rei, walkman still up, was looking at him. He
was kneeled down in front of a power cable, and when he saw Rei over his
shoulder, he fell on his back gulping.

Rei entered the room, removing her headphones, simply staring at him.

The man, about 22-23 years old, stood up rubbing his back.

Man: "I'm sorry, Miss Ayanami. I thought you weren't in.."

Rei: "..."

Man: "You see.. I rang the doorbell, and you didn't answer... I had the old
code, and so tried it. It worked, so I decided to come in and do my job.
When I saw your things, I thought you had left them and had gone out.
I'm really sorry.."

Rei: "Who are you?"

Man: "Geez.. I'm sorry, again. I'm from Nerv housing office. My chief forgot
to tell you that since this apartment has never been used, water and
power feed had to be checked up.
I was ordered to come here and fix everything. Here, this is your
receipt, you can sign here."

Rei looked at the sheet and the pen the man was offering her, she took them and
read the paper, giving a strange look at the man, who scratched his head,
uneasy. Then she approached a wall, and signed the paper using the pen handing
them back to him. He collected them and said:

Man: "I'm not done yet. I have to check the kitchen and the bathroom.."

She simply stood, and so he, after a bit, collected his bag and went to the
bathroom, followed by a silent Rei. He checked the shower, the bath, the
toilette, the w.c.... From time to time he glanced nervously over his shoulders
to Rei, who was simply staring at him from the doorway. Then he proceeded to the
kitchen and checked everything there as well.

Man: "My job is finished, here."

Rei: "..."

Man: "Can I ask you a question?"

Rei: "..Yes."

Man: "Will you be alone here?"

Rei: ".. Alone?"

Man: "You see.. It's lonely to live alone.."

Rei: "..."

Man: "Well.. When I was young, I was only hoping to find a job and to live by
my own.. Now I have my job and an house.. But I'm alone.. Maybe if I had
someone to share it.."

Rei: "I understand. It's sad being alone."

He sighed, looking around..

Man: "I must go now, not that I have other houses to check, you know.. And,
don't forget to change your door code."

He headed towards the door, always followed by Rei.

Man: "See you soon."

Rei simply looked at him, without saying a word.

'"I understand. It's sad being alone." Why Have I spoken in such a way? I hadn't
thought before speaking. I know loneliness. I know it well. But in the past I've
never express these feelings.. Feelings.. I can remember I told Ikari I didn't
know how to act in some circumstances.. Why can I experience loneliness now?
Why now.. do I miss Ikari ? Shinji..'

Her eyes were watering.. her grip over the walkman tightened, and she encircled
it with both hands, pressing it against her chest, over her hearth, looking
down to it.

'A.. gift.. From Ikari..'

She remembered Shinji holding her on the catwalk during the third angel attack.
she remembered Shinji crying in front of her in her entry-plug during the fifth
angel attack.
She remembered him grabbing garbage and putting it in the trash in her room.
She remembered her slapping him.

'I wanted to become one with Ikari, mind, body and soul. Now I know. I wasn't
aware of what I really wanted to do. Now I know. I was running away from me.
From my fate. I didn't want this fate. I've been given birth for a purpose that
now I'm rejecting. I wanted to unite to him, because the only way I knew to show
my feeling was that, like I had been instructed to. That was my only way to
avoid my fate. My life is a lie. I know. I am a doll. I know. I've always known.
But I didn't want to face the truth. I am a doll in the commander's hands. He
doesn't care about me for what I am, but for what I could do for him. I.. I
wanted to see in him .. my bond. Now I can understand.'

She released the grip on the walkman, and with the other hand she pulled out of
her pocket Gendo's glasses.

'Why have you done this to me?'

Now tears were running over her cheeks.

'I'm an artificial being. I was born without a soul. What I call my soul
is an pile of signals, reasoning, numbers. Man made me, but man isn't
God, even if he wants to become it. I am a monster. I've always known. I
was able to open myself only to those who knew my nature. I built a wall
outside me, to push away others... But that wasn't me. I am who I am.
I am what I think. My memories made me, but I can reject them. I don't
want to be your doll, Commander. Your wife is dead. You must face the
truth. You are running away from it. To reach her, you are dooming all
mankind to death, only to fulfill your desire. You can't understand that your
wife lives in your son, lives in you... Lives in me.'

She fell to the ground to her knees, dropping the walkman and the glasses..

'Am I doomed? I am made of Ikari's mother, and of Lilith. I really must
resemble a mother. I am a woman who doesn't bleed, I can't give birth, but I am
made from them. I am doomed. My whole existence is a damnation. Even if I'll
die, there will be someone else to replace me. If he wants, all my thoughts, all
what I've achieved, will be erased, and a new doll will be given birth. I will
be betrayed, one, ten, one thousand times. If he only wanted to, he could kill
and resurrect me every day. Even if doctor Akagi has destroyed the dummy plug
facility, he is building them again. I don't know exactly, but I'm sure the
Dummy Plug Bravo projects is right in schedule. If I won't be able to survive
until that day, I'll be replaced. Maybe it is true that something's been wrong
with me from the beginning, something is leading to my death.'

She started sobbing..

"Ikari.. Shinji.. Why do you care about me? You know who I am. Why don't you
run away ? Why?"

She remembered him.. in the laundry, in the Eva, in the streets..

"I.. Once I told him I would protect him. Now, I'm making a promise. I won't
let him be harmed, in any way. I swear."

".. At least, I owe this to his mother.."

So.. she dried her cheeks, and stood straight. She looked at the glasses on the
ground, near to the walkman. She kneeled again to pick the walkman, wearing the
headphones and listening to the music, still looking down at the glasses.

Suddenly, the bell rung. She looked unsure for a brief moment to the door,
then she unplugged her ears and opened the door. Outside were standing four
persons, carrying an incredible number of bags and boxes.

Man1: "Good evening. Miss Ayanami?"

Rei: "..Yes. I am."

Man: "We are here to bring these things. We don't build nothing, just bring
things. You'll need someone else to fix the furniture. Please sing here."

Meanwhile, the other men, without even asking permission, were already bringing
the stuff inside, putting it in the various rooms, without a scheme. Maybe they
weren't paid enough, and Rei wasn't exactly an intimidating person...

She simply signed the form, and stood outside watching them work. Then, a man
came closer to her and told her, handing her a pair of broken glasses:

Man: "I'm very sorry, miss.. I didn't see them.. Thy were on the floor.."

She simply stared at them emotionless. Finally she spoke:

Rei: "It doesn't matter. They weren't mine. You can trash them."

So the man tossed them into a box and then left carrying it.

The head said hello and left. She was now alone, the door still open. She
remembered the Major had given her her key. She slowly put up the headphones
again, closed her door, changing the code, and opened the major's door.

She was sure nobody was home. She checked her watch. It was 18:47. She reached
Shinji's door, and opened it, standing in the doorway. The beds, Shinji's bed
and Kensuke's futon, were still unmade. She walked inside and sat on the bed.
She looked at the pillow, and caressed it. She looked at her dress. She shook
her head and went in her house. She searched for a bit, finally finding a
particular thing. She came back in the other apartment, undressing in the
Major's bedroom and wearing a black t-shirt and a couple of white shorts. She
took off the earrings too. Dressed like that, she headed to his bed, lying on
it, her right hands under her head, walkman playing music.

'So, if they come back, they won't find anything strange.. I just... want...to
share something with him.... even it is only his bed..'

Listening to the music, she fell asleep, a single tear crossing her cheek.

...

Hyuga was standing in the recreation area, his hands clenched around his head:

Hyu: "What could I do?"

He was distracted by a sound of several steps on the floor. He heard a
discussion: "..infirmary.... and we mustn't harm them. We must only retrieve
her gun and license. They are free to go where they want. To hell, for what I
care."

Hyuga hid behind the vending machine, and saw them walking trough the room.

Hyu: ".. Infirmary! What did happen?"

SO he started running after them, picking a different and, he hoped, faster
route.

...

In the Nerv Infirmary, there were two beds occupied. One by Asuka, who wasn't
receiving any kind of medical assistance, the other by Shinji. Near him were
Kensuke, Hikari and a couple of nurses, while Misato was speaking to the doctor,
gun still in hand, which made him feel a bit uneasy..

Doc: "Well.. I've done everything I could do.. It was a 9mm, you know.. He was
very lucky. The way the bullet impacted on his chest, it didn't do
much damage. It exited under his right arm, not too close from the rib
cage. There's no worrisome muscle and tissue laceration since the bullet
was a metal jacketed one. I already have given him all the serum he could
need, and I don't think he'll need an extensive treatment. Anyway, to be
sure, it's better if you bring him to the hospital.

Mis: " Yeah, right! So Nerv doctors there could do him all they wanted!"

Kensuke lifted his head and nearly shouted: "Major! I've almost forgotten! There
were a nurse and a doctor with us when we get caught ! We must find them!"

Mis: "A nurse and a doctor?"

Ken: "Yes! They were help.."

'Idiot !'

"ping me finding a door when they got caught with us ! They are innocent!"

The doctor moved back and fort on his legs uneasy.. "Well.. I think they are
under NERV's custody, by now.."

Misato pointed the gun to him: "Explain yourself!"

The doctor opened his collar for air and said: "When I cured the doctor, the
guards were bringing him in jail.."

Mis: " Why did he need care? "

Doc: "Well.. It was like a bear had slapped him.."

Ken: "Those bastards!"

Misato looked him over her shoulders: "I think we should talk a bit, Kensuke."

He nodded nervously adding: "Maybe is better if we bring Shinji to the
hospital.."

Mis: "You're right. Bring Asuka, I'll take care of Shinji again."

The attendant chose that moment to enter the infirmary.

Att: "Major Katsuragi. You are ordered to deliver your gun and licence.
Commander's orders. "

Behind him were four fully equipped security guards, gun in hands, aiming at
her.

The nurse and the doctor pulled themselves against the wall, while Hikari looked
terrified from near Shinji's bed, and Kensuke came closer to the Major.

Mis: ".."

Att: "Any attempt to disobey orders will be considered insubordination, and
you'll get arrested. We only want your gun. Nothing else. There won't be
any other actions against you. The Commander only decided this due your
psychological situation."

Mis: "..Don't make me laugh! Who do you think I am? A fool?"

Hyuga was standing behind the guards, panting heavily. The path he had chosen
was interrupted due maintenance, so he had to run double the distance to get
there. He understood the situation and entered the room, passing trough quite
surprised guards:

Hyu: "Excuse me.. Excuse me.. I must pass.. Major"

Mis: "Hyuga? What are you doing here?"

Hyu: "Major, it's alright. They don't want harm you or the children, they
just want the gun, nothing more."

Mis: "This is nonsense. I could find another, even without the license.
Why should I believe them? What does the commander really want?"

Att: "From what I've heard, he doesn't want you having a gun just now. Maybe
in future he would allow you to have your license back. I think he's
worried if you could do something stupid..."

Mis: "Ah! How kind of him!"

Hyu: "Please, Major!"

Kensuke made his voice audible: "Maybe it's better for now, major.."

Att: "It's clear that until you won't give your gun to me, you'll stay here,
and so the children."

Misato, still aiming at him, looked down at Shinji. The bandages on his chest
were starting to change color, a trace of red was now visible over them...

Mis: "..Alright."

She put the safe on, took the gun by the barrel and gave it to the attendant.

Att: "Very well. Now you are free. Don't forget to report for duty tomorrow
morning."

" Did the commander say that too? " Asked sarcastically Misato.

Att: "No, but it's of your interest not to get fired... or killed."

He left the infirmary, followed by the guards.

Mis: "Hyuga, help me. Take Asuka."

Hyg: "Yes, major."

She took Shinji and headed for her car, followed by Hyuga carrying Asuka and
by Hikari and Kensuke. Hikari was very shocked, and Kensuke tried his best to
calm her down.

Ken: "It's over, Hikari. We're leaving. Soon we'll be on the surface..
Class rep.. It's okay.."

But she wasn't really paying attention to him..

Ken: 'Damn! There isn't nothing I can do right now..'

So he took her left hand in his, and started stroking it, gently and slowly, to
make his presence evident to the girl, who wasn't even noticing that her
hand was being held by someone else...

They finally reached the parking area: Kensuke and Hikari crumbled inside the
back seats, while Hyuga put the still unconscious Asuka next to them. Finally
Shinji was put in the passenger's seat, next to Misato. While Kensuke took care
of Asuka, adjusting her head, and buckling her seatbelt, Misato was doing the
same with Shinji, while Hyuga was looking at her.. She finished to prepare
Shinji and turned the engine on.

Mis: "I'm leaving Hyuga. Get back to your duties."

Hyu: ".. I'm sorry Major.."

Mis: "Don't worry, he'll be fine. I'm sure of it."

Then she left, driving at a pace much slower than usual.

Hyuga kept looking at the car until it was visible, and continued looking at
the last spot where it was for a while..

'Maybe.. Maybe.. she's not just I woman anymore. Now.. I can say she is a
mother.. Can a mother fall in love with someone?'

He shook his head and headed back to his duty: monitoring any suspicious signal
coming from the space using the satellite network: 'Is the commander waiting
another attack? The last UN report I read talked about the Angels like a past
threat.. Why are we still in charge?'

...

Finally, about 20:15, Misato reached the hospital: she called someone to help
her, and bring Shinji to the E.R. section. She didn't show her Nerv ID, even if
probably the personnel knew her and the other child very well, and were
wondering about what happened.. Kensuke grabbed a wheel chair and started to
push Asuka, while Hikari was still pulled by hand from him.

They weren't allowed to enter to emergency section, so Shinji was taken away
from them. Misato looked like a caged tiger: she walked in circle in the waiting
hall, almost digging a circle with her steps. From time to time she raised her
hands to the ceiling, like to say something, only to end up watching the door to
the emergency section with a worried expression..

Kensuke was sitting on a chair, Hikari next to him, Asuka in the wheel chair
in front of them. She finally spoke:

Hik: "Ke.. Kensuke.."

Ken: "..."

Hik: "Kensuke.."

Ken: "Oh.. Yes, class rep?"

Hik: "I.. I must phone home.. They must be worried by now.. I promised to phone
them every day.. and it's getting late.."

Ken: "Oh.. You're right.. I must call too. I've seen a phone near the entrance.
We can use it."

Hik: "Alright.. I must go.."

Kensuke stood and tell Misato: "Major.. we must call back at home. Could you
watch over Asuka for a while?"

Misato stopped walking to face them.. For a moment, it was like she didn't could
understand what Kensuke was talking about. Then she came by them and hugged them
with all her strength: "I'm sorry.. I'm terrible sorry.. this must be a
nightmare for you.. Kensuke.. Hikari.. you don't deserve these pains.. You have
even been trailed by the Nerv Security.. I'd drive you home personally.. but I
can't leave alone Shinji and Asuka.. I'll call a taxi and so.."

She was stopped by Hikari, who said, startling Kensuke: "It doesn't matter. They
are our friends. They went trough this hell to protect us. It's our turn to do
something for them, even if it would mean only stay here and worry about them.
With which courage could I leave? Asuka would need me. I'm sure of it. And I
think Kensuke is thinking the same thing, aren't you, Kensuke?"

Kensuke, hugged by a fierce major, was listening carefully to these words,
and managed to nod.

'Well.. It's strange to hear her say such things...wasn't she terrified just
some minutes ago? '

Misato started to sob.. "T.. Thank you.. Hikari.. Kensuke.. I'd like to have
friends like you.. Thank you.."

Kensuke managed to break free, giving an handkerchief to her: "Major.. It's all
right.. we'll be back soon.. Just the time to make a couple of calls.."

She nodded, pulling out her handkerchief and drying her eyes, traces of
mascara visible on the handkerchief.. She managed to smile, her vision blurred
..:"I'm looking forward to see you again.. now go!"

Kensuke looked at Hikari. She turned and headed to the entrance.

When they reached the phone, Hikari found the line busy..

"Maybe it's Nozomi talking with a friend of her.. Then it's better if I
try the next hour.."

Kensuke chuckled a bit, saying: " You look like you feel better, class rep."

She turned and smiled: "Yeah. I've decided to be strong, as strong as Asuka."

Kensuke smiled: "I hope you won't starting teasing Toji.."

She laughed heartily, and then sighed: "Ah.. Toji.. I wonder how is he.."

Kensuke offered: "Maybe we can go and see him.."

Hikari shook her head..: " No.. at present, it's Shinji and Asuka who need our
help.. Toji is fine.. or at least I hope so.. Come on, call your home.."

Hikari's line was busy, indeed, but because her father, very worried by then,
was phoning to the Major's apartment.. There, around 20:30, there was only Rei,
sleeping softly.. She was still wearing the earphones, so she couldn't hear
anything. However, Pen-Pen had always found that sound awful, so he left his
fridge and started wandering in the house to search someone to answer to the
phone.. Hikari's father was kept letting the phone ring more and more, his
worry increasing every moment.. Finally Pen-Pen found someone in a room, and
managed to wake her up.

Rei was very started at being awakened by a loud

"QWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKK"

She sat on the bed, looking around, until she finally heard the sound. She
slowly made her way to the kitchen, followed by the penguin, and stood by the
phone, staring blankly at it.

Pen: "Qwak!"

Rei looked down at it. It looked as if he was trying to say: 'Well? What are
you waiting? The phone is ringing, you know?', so she inhaled deeply and took
the phone..

Dad: 'Come on.. Come on..'

"click.."

'Oh God! Thanks!'

"Hello? Katsuragi's apartment?"

Rei: "..Yes?"

Dad: "Oh, good evening! I'm Hikari's dad. May I speak to her?"

Rei: "..Horaki isn't here just now. I think she is still with Aida and Ikari
back in the hospital.."

Dad: "Still in the hospital? It's getting late! Aren't the visit hours already
finished?"

Rei checked her wristwatch: "...You're right. Maybe they have stopped by some
place to buy something to eat. I'll search them and I'll make your daughter
phone you."

Dad: "Oh, thank you! And you are..."

Rei: "..Ayanami."

Dad: "Oh, yes! I saw you once in the base! Well, thank you very much. I'm a bit
worried about my daughter. She left yesterday evening and she hasn't
made a phone call yet.. Well.. I'm waiting near the phone. Let me know.
Good evening."

Rei: "..Good evening."

Rei hung up the phone, and searched through her pockets for her phone
booklet, but she didn't find it. So she went back to her house to find her old
school uniform. She found it, and picked up all her other belongings. There was
a phone now in her house, alone sitting on the floor. It had been probably the
Nerv employee.. but she preferred to come back to Katsuragi apartment to make
her call. She had now her cell phone, but she decided to use the fixed one in
that apartment. She probably never used her phone to make a call.. Finally she
got in the kitchen and dialed Shinji's number. One, two, ten rings. Nobody
answered. In fact, his phone, his documents, his clothes were in a basket in the
Emergency section of the hospital, and no one cared about them.

Rei: '...'

Then she dialed the major's number..

Misato was still walking in circles like a caged animal, when her phone went
off ringing. That almost scared her to death. She picked it and looked it in
disbelief. To her utter surprise, the call apparently was coming from her own
apartment...

Mis: "I didn't know Pen-Pen could use the phone.. I must talk with him
seriously, from woman to penguin."


And, unbelievable as it might seem, she was being serious. Although the idea of
a penguin drinking a can of beer, sitting on an armchair making intercontinental
phone calls to the artic pole was ridiculous, she really meant what she had
said.

Mis: "Hello?"

She was expecting a series of indignant "Qwaak! Qwaak!" with the penguin
complaining about the food, when instead she heard a strange voice..

Rei: "Major, it's me, Ayanami."

Mis: "R..Rei? What are you doing in my house?"

Rei: "You gave me the code."

Mis: "oh.. Yes.. You're right. What can I do for you?"

Rei: "Horaki's father called here a few minutes ago. He's worried about his
daughter."

Mis: "Oh.. Well, Hikari and Kensuke went to make their calls a little ago, so
he'll get called pretty soon.."

Rei: "I see. So they are with you."

Mis: ".."

Rei: ".."

Mis: "There is something else?"

Rei: "Major.. Why doesn't Ikari answer on his cell phone?"

Misato tensed. She could feel it wouldn't be a good idea talking about Shinji's
condition by phone to Rei, a Rei different from usual..

Mis: " I didn't hear any ring from it... Are you sure you dialed the right
number?"

Misato felt clearly uneasy, and her tension was clearly audible. Rei sensed it.

Rei: "I don't make such mistakes.. Can I speak to him?"

Mis: "he.. he's not..here just now.. he's with Kensuke and Hikari at the
public phone."

Rei: ".. Why they have to use a public phone instead of your or his cellular?"

Mis: "Well.. it's not a good thing asking a person to borrow her personal
cell phone...it could get pretty expensive you know.."

Rei: "I see."

Mis: 'God! Please cut it off!'

Rei: "Major, why you are with them? You told me you had to do extra paperwork
this evening, and that you wouldn't come back for dinner."

Mis: 'Holy shit!'

"Ehr.. You know.. They.. They called me to visit Asuka! That's right, we
are in Asuka's room!"

Rei: "But the visiting hours are over, Major."

Mis: "Rei. We are no ordinary visitors. Now I must go. See you later."

So she switched the phone off and leaned against a wall letting a deep sigh to
escape..

" I just needed a third degree from Rei.."

Then her attention shifted over Asuka and over the door. She resumed walking in
circles.

...

Rei stood silently for a while, the phone still to her ear. Then she checked
her agenda and dialed another number.

Str: "Nerv hospital facility, Neo Tokyo 3 Memorial Hospital. May I help you?"

Rei: "I'm pilot Ayanami. I'm looking for Major Katsuragi."

Str: "I'm sorry, I haven't seen her since the beginning of my shift, three
hours ago."

Rei: "..."

Str: "Hello?"

Rei: "How are the second pilot condition's?"

Str: ".. Well.. I'm not supposed to talk with you about these things.."

Rei made something unexpected. Although from outside it wasn't visible, she
was very agitated, and she made a threat:

Rei: "I'll ask the commander to fire you, if you don't tell me how pilot
Soryu is. Tell me, now!"

Str: ".. She's not here anymore...she was taken to Nerv HQ.. so they
told me.. I do"

Rei closed the phone. She was breathing hard. Something was wrong.

Rei: 'Why did the Major lie to me? What is happening?'

She was about to call her again, when she stopped.

'She is hiding something from me...'

She pondered that a bit, then went in the Asuka's room. She had seen a laptop.
She turned it on, and connected to the Nerv intranet. She entered her id and her
clearance level, higher then Katsuragi's. She entered a query for the Major
location, via her cel phone. The resolution wasn't too high, the sampling cells
were about 5000X5000 mq, but it could be an idea..

She waited a bit, then come the response: Tokyo-3 surface, eastern sector,
Torakishima park.

She looked a bit, then she superimposed the city map over the cells map. There
was an huge park, and few buildings. One of them was the Tokyo 3 Memorial
Hospital. She looked confused.. She couldn't understand what was happening.

Then she checked Shinji's position in the same way. His cellular was working, as
she had seen a bit ago, and found it in the same cell.

She closed her eyes.. 'In the hospital.. The second child isn't there. How?'

She checked the entrances to the Nerv HQ looking for any sign of Shinji or
Asuka. Nothing. Then she tried a cross research about the daily reports about
the children when she got disconnected.

"Connection severed by peer. Please call again."

She was a bit confused, and dialed again. This time her name and password were
rejected. She was even more confused. The only person that could do that..
was.. was the Commander!

"Commander.. What are you doing?"

She picked her phone, checked her agenda and dialed a number.

Rei: ".."

Str: "..click."

Rei: "Commander."

Gen: "Yes. Rei, what were you doing?"

Rei: ".. I was looking for your son."

Gen: "I see. Why were you looking for him?"

Rei: "I couldn't reach him by phone."

Gen: "Even I don't respond to the phone sometimes."

Rei: ".."

Gen: "Where are you?"

Rei: "At major's"

Gen: "What are you doing there?"

Rei felt uneasy, she didn't know the reason either..

Rei: "..I don't know. Waiting for them, maybe."

Gen: "I see. Perhaps the decision of moving to another place was a hurried
one. It's better if you come back to your old place."

Rei: "I won't."

Gen: ".. You won't?"

Rei: "Yes, Commander, I won't. I like this place."

Gen: "Before was a suggestion, now it's an order: come back immediately to
your old place."

Rei: "But why!"

This time, it wasn't her usual voice. Not her usual monotone voice.
He could feel despair in those two single words. The pain of a soul. It hit him
in the hearth, and he didn't know what to do for a moment, then he resumed his
old behavior.

Gen: "..It's an order, Rei."

Rei: "..I won't obey this order until I'll know what is going on. Why did the
Major lie to me?"

Gen: "Major Katsuragi isn't worth of trust. I made you aware of this."

Rei shook her head: "No, sir. I can understand things better now. She didn't lie
to me to back herself up or something else. She lied for a good reason, I'm
sure. I want to understand why."

Gen: "That's nonsense. I'll send a squad to pick you. Stay there."

Then he closed the line.

Rei stood there.. phone still to her ear..

She slowly pulled away the phone, and looked at it like she was going to break
it into little pieces, then she simply turned it off and put it into her pocket.
She collected all her belongings, leaving the wristwatch on the floor and went
rapidly into Shinji's room, grabbed a pair of trousers, a school shirt and a
baseball hat. She changed in no time and then left the apartment and went to
the upper floor. One or two minutes later, two Nerv Squads, one by stairs, one
by elevator reached that floor and started punching the two doors. Her
apartment's and the Major's. They got in and disappeared inside. She slowly
descended the stairs, normally. When she reached the lobby, she left under the
gaze of a Nerv man. He looked at that boy for a moment, then returned his
attention to the exit. A second later, he checked some papers, and left the van,
cursing himself aloud: "No one lives here except the Major!"

He ran after her, but when he turned a corner she had vanished.

"Shit!"

He started phoning wildly.

...

Gendo was speaking to the phone: "I see. Surround the hospital. Allow no one to
enter without the proper identification. Don't harm her."

He closed the phone, and started thinking.

'I've lost my control over her.'

'...'

'No..'

"I've lost her."

He stood and walked to the door.

Att: "Where are you going,sir?"

Gen: "I must see doctor Akagi. Call me only if the rescue squads have some good
news."

Att: "Yes, sir."

It took about fifteen minutes to reach the jail, sector A-1, maximum security,24
hours control, shoot at sight.

'By now, she must be near the hospital..'

He entered the cell, without being announced or announcing himself.

Gen: "Ritsuko."

A woman, blonde hair with a dark spot over it, sat upright on the
bed.

Gen: "Ritsuko."

The woman slowly raised her head. She could pass for a middle aged woman, maybe
about 60 years. Her aspect was horrible.

Rit: "Gendo. Do you come to see the results of your action? Here, I'm here.
As you can see, there isn't much of me left."

Gen: "Rei refuses to obey my orders."

Ritsuko laughed a bit: "Commander, are you loosing the control over your
puppets? It's no good for a puppeteer like you, is it? "

Gen: "Why did you betray me?"

Rit: "Because you were using me. And I decided to break free, like your doll
now."

Gen: "I need her."

Rit: "I don't dare to imagine why do you need her. I don't know well your
plans, but I'm happy someone decided to fight you."

Gen: "Then you will be pleased that my son got himself shot to protect the
second children."

Ritsuko eye widened.

Rit: "Really! Is he dead?"

Gen: " It wasn't a deadly wound."

Rit: "Well.. I think you should modify your scenario, then."

Gen: "I was thinking about a new Rei."

Rit: "oh.. this time, why don't you grow her up to 22 years, and fuck her ?"

Gendo came closer to her in a second, and slapped her hard in the face, without
a change in his expression.

Gen: "You'll help me."

Ritsuko looked at her left hand covered of blood..

Rit: "The hell I will."

Gen: "You'll do, otherwise I'll kill Katsuragi, like you killed Kaji."

Rit: ".. What.. Why.. Why should I? She'll die anyway, you'll kill us, or
you'll put us in prison, like you did with me. And besides, why do you
need me ? You could be able to do by yourself!"

Gen: "You don't know, but this Rei, Rei III, is undergoing a process of
rapid decay. I don't know why. I wanted to use her for my purposes, but
now she isn't reliable anymore. Maybe the transfer process isn't fit for a
mind grown up to 14, 15 years. I want you to check and tell me the truth.
If it will be necessary, I could use a 6-7 years old Rei."

Rit: "..Don't you think I'll betray you again?"

Gen: "No, because I'll be always to your side. With a gun ready."

Rit: "How kind of you.."

Gendo, this time, smirked: "Welcome back to active roster, Doctor Akagi."

Rit: "What are you going to do with the other Rei and with your son?"

Gendo stood quiet for a while.

Rit: "Are you going to kill them?"

Gendo his back to her, spoke: "Tomorrow morning you will be escorted to our old
lab. You'll find all our data about the current Rei and her problems. I'm
expecting an explanation."

Rit: "You know.. This situation calls back to my mind a story.. do you remember
Frankenstein? I can't remember the writer, or the true version.. It's an
horror story, where the creation of a scientist turns against his own
creator.. The meaning is that we mustn't play with the life.. In all its
forms.. We have many sins, Commander.. would you now become responsible
of the death of your own creation ? Would you kill her? And, would she
let herself be killed?"

Gen: "I have no time to reply your stupid question. I did what I had to do for
mankind's sake."

Rit: "It's not true. Maybe it was in the beginning, but now you are pursuing
an insane project. Sometimes, from what I've heard, I can imagine a
scenario.. In this dark cell I've thought a lot, and what I think you
are planning to do is crazy. I have read the Dead Sea Scrolls, you know?
You are going to kill all of us only to reencounter your wife. You are
crazy."

Gen: "But you'll help me. Why?"

Ritsuko sighed: "Even if I won't do, you'll do it alone. So, it's better to
be aware of what would happen, don't you think?"

He left the room.

Outside, he stood for a while.

' What will I do with them?'

'She's a threat.'

'He's a threat, but I could need him.'

'...'

"There is no choice."

He slowly went away.

...

When Kensuke finished speaking to his relatives, Hikari phoned again at home:

Hik: "... click."

Dad: "Hello?"

Hik: "Hi, Dad. It's me."

Dad: "Oh! Hikari! Why didn't you call sooner? We were very worried, you
know.."

Hik: "Oh, come on! What do you think could happen to me?"

'except being kidnapped, almost killed..'

Dad: "Ah! Ah! Well, where are you? Still in the hospital?"

Hik: "Well.. Yes.. we came here alone, then the Major joined us. We were
Leaving when.. well.. Shinji fell down from the stairs.."

Kensuke's eyes went wide.

Dad: "Oh! Nothing serious, I hope.."

Hik: "Well.. He is in the Emergency, now.. We have to wait for him...it's
because of this we're still in here.."

Dad: "oh.. I'm sorry.. Well, you should inform the other girl.. maybe she's
worried.."

Hik: "uh?"

Dad: "Yes.. that girl.. Ayanami.. She was in when I phoned.."

Hik: "Where?"

Dad: " What do you mean, where? To the Major's!"

Hik: "ah.. Well.. I'll call her right away.. Bye.."

Dad: "Don't forget to make a call when you'll be back at home!"

Hik: " Okay, I promise. Bye."

She hung up the phone and sighed.

Ken: "What did you say! Shinji fallen by the stairs!"

Hik: "Well, you only said: 'I'm okay, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.' I
have to say something more to my father, besides, I'm a girl, you are a
boy. It's natural my father is more worried.."

Ken: "well.."

Hik: " By the way...my father called at the Major's and found Ayanami there!"

Ken: "Uh? How come?"

Hik: "I don't know.. let's try to call her."

She dialed the number, but no one answered..

Hik: " I hope she didn't leave to look for us..."

Ken: "That could be a problem.. Wait! She has a cell phone! We must
Go and ask to the Major her number."

Hik: "Let's go!"

...

Misato was now punching the door:

Mis: "Dammit! Open this damn door! Tell me how is he!"

Finally a man that looked like a doctor opened the door, followed by a police-
man.

Doc: "Okay.. Here we are.."

Misato looked surprised from the doctor to the policeman.

Mis: "What does it mean ?"

Doc: "Do you know, we must report gun's harms to the local police station..
Your boy is in good hands. You must follow this gentleman.."

Pol: "This way, please."

Saying so, he picked her right arm.

Misato quickly broke free, and looked them.

Mis: 'I'd liked to avoid this..'

"I'm from Nerv, and the child is under our jurisdiction. You have no
power over us, as stated the art. 23 of the Nerv rules."

The policeman felt uneasy, and looked the doctor. In the meanwhile, Kensuke
and Hikari arrived..

The doctor scratched his head..

Doc: "Well.. it's strange.. A bullet being shoot to a kid.."

Mis: "It doesn't matter. I told you. You must only cure him."

Doc: "Then why didn't you bring him to your section?"

Mis: "Weren't you supposed to be the emergency section?"

Doc: "Well.. some first aid was already been applied.."

Mis: " To hell with this! Next time I'll bring him to our section even if he's
just scratched a finger with a knife!"

Doc: "He's fine, for now. I have given him antibiotics to prevent infections,
but he must be kept under observation for almost a week, no major
lesions.. it would need one or two week before he could move his arm
again.."

Mis: "Okay. Where is he?"

Doc: " In one of the observation rooms."

Mis: "I must see him."

Doc: "Follow me."

Ken: "Major.."

Misato turned to face them: "oh.. Kensuke, Hikari.. Do me a favor.. stay
here and watch over Asuka.. please."

She disappeared following the doctor into a door.

Ken: "Damn! And we are stuck here!"

Hik: "But.. you know.. Asuka.. is.."

Ken: "well.. you're right.. What should we do now? Maybe we must wake her.."

Hikari looked sadly at her friend.. "No.. being awake would only be a pain for
her.. Let her to rest.."

They sat near Asuka, deep in thoughts, until a nurse came to them.

Nur: "You are friends of that boy brought here a bit ago?"

Ken: "Yes! What's the matter? Is his wound a serious one?"

Nur: "Oh no, no! Listen, maybe you could take his belongings.. Otherwise I
had to bring them in a place the other side of the building, and my shift
is over.. Could you.."

Ken: "Okay.. Give them to me."

The nurse gave him a bag and left. Inside there were a shirt, a couple of
trousers, a couple of shoes, a wallet and a cell phone. Its display was
blinking..

Ken: "Uh? What's that? A call.. from the Major's ? That must had been
Ayanami.."

Hik: "Oh, no! We were supposed to ask the Major her number! Now she's gone!"

Ken: "Don't worry, class rep! I bet in this phone we could find the right
number!"

He managed to search the memo, and find the right number. "Here! Let's phone!"

Hik: "Erh.. Are you using his phone?"

Ken: "Oh, come on! We must watch over Asuka! Be quiet!"

He dialed the number and made a strange face: "It's turned off? Strange.."

Hik: "Maybe her battery is over.. I haven't seen her recharging it.. Well.. To
tell the truth.. I haven't seen her phone at all..."

Ken: " Look how small this one is.. maybe you simply didn't notice it.. Maybe
She has turned it off for some reasons.. She'll call soon. We have to
wait."


...

In the desert streets of Neo-Tokyo 3, a lone figure was running. There was no
one in the streets, and traffic lights, silently functioning, gave a feeling of
loneliness. But, to the occasional walker, that person would resemble a ghost..
She was.. like blurred...disappearing in one place and reappearing a couple of
steps further.... Maybe it was only an optical illusion due the rain. Yes,
because it was raining now. At first just some drops here and there, then
pouring like a thunderstorm..

Rei was soaking wet, but kept running. Finally she got to the station. She
took the train, and sighed, looking around. She was alone in the car. It was
the circular monorail. She was heading to the hospital, where she had last
tracked Ikari and the Major...

She looked at herself in the glass, being able to see her reflected imagine due
the outside's darkness..

' This way they should have trouble finding me, even if they are already
waiting for me at the hospital.. What will the Commander do? I..I don't
care.. I only...only want to see him.. one more time... I sense.. he's in
trouble...'

She turned her phone on and called his phone again.

...

Kensuke nearly jumped on his seat when Shinji's phone went off ringing..

Ken: "What the hell.. Hey, it's Ayanami!"

Rei: "..click"

Ken: "Hello, Ayanami!"

Rei: "..A..Aida?"

Ken: "Where are you, Ayanami?"

Rei: "Where is Ikari?"

Ken: "..erh.. well.."

Rei was very worried now: "I asked you, where is Ikari! Aida! Answer me!"

Ken: 'God what to do? Lie to her, for her welfare.. Or tell her the truth?'

"He's.. He's.."

Rei: "Tell me! Where is he? What happened to him? Where are you?"

Ken: 'I guess telling the truth it's for the best, just know..'

"We're at memorial hospital, Ayanami."

Rei: ".. I knew it. Why are you there?"

She was deadly calm now, her tone her old one, cold as usual.
But a storm of emotions was raging inside her..

Ken: "Ikari.. Ikari was checked in, and is under observation."

Rei: "W..Why? What happened.. to him?"

Ken: "He.. He's okay.. They cured him.. He has to stay here to avoid infection
to his wound..."

Rei: " How was he injured?"

Ken: "erh.."

Hikari was looking at him, a worried expression on her face, her hands jointed
in front of her mouth, as if praying... Kensuke looked into her eyes..
like searching for an hint, he found only concern..

Ken: " He fell on the stairs an hour ago.."

Hikari started laughing.. but Rei didn't buy it..

Rei: "That's a lie."

Ken: "Uh?"

Rei: "I have asked the Major about him half an hour ago, and she avoided my
questions. He's in the hospital. I know. He's badly injured, I know.
I want know what happened to him. Please, don't lie to me. Tell me the
truth."

It was her usual tone, but Kensuke felt something.. something very..
disturbing..

Ken: '.. Shinji, forgive me..'

" He's been shot."

Rei gasped, and felt her heart stopping..

Rei: "He.. he.."

Ken: "But now he's okay! The bullet hit him in the shoulder. No need to worry.
He won't die ! It's true ! I swear it ! Ayan.. Shit.. She hung up."

Hik: "You idiot! Why did you tell her the truth?"

Ken: "Well, I thought it was the right thing to do, ok?"

Hik: "Umph.."

Ken: "Well.. I think we only have to wait for her.."

It was about 21:00, and Kensuke's stomach made himself audible..

Ken: "..."

Hik: ".. Don't tell me you're hungry?"

Ken: "Well? Maybe you don't need to eat from time to time?"

Hik: "But.. But.."

Ken: "Listen. I'm going to buy something at the fast food outside the hospital;
while I'm away, try to wake her.."

So he left. After a bit, Hikari turned to face Asuka.. She tried to awake her
calling softly her name, until she slowly opened her eyes. Her vision was very
blurred at first, and it didn't help the fact in the waiting room there were
only neon lights. Then, she adjusted her vision, finding a worried Hikari gazing
at her..

Asu: "Whe.. Where am I?"

Hik: "We are at the hospital. Shinji is fine, don't worry about him."

Asu: "Shinji?"

Hikari looked surprised..

Hik: "Well.. don't you remember what happened to Shinji?"

Asuka looked around, and then spoke, looking at her: "Who are you?"

Hik: "You are asking me who I am? Asuka! Are you joking?"

Asu: "Asuka.. Who is Asuka?"

She was sincere.. Hikari could understand she was sincere..

Hik: 'That's incredible! Asuka amnesic!'

"Are you serious?"

Asuka looked around in mild confusion..

' But she hasn't been hit in the head, she hasn't suffered any injury..
Could it be.. the shock of seeing Shinji hit by a bullet in front of her?'

Asuka looked down to her chair and tried to stand up, but she didn't be able to.
She looked up and asked: "Why Can't I stand? What happened to me? And you.. Who
are you?"

Hik: 'Maybe it's better for now if she doesn't remember anything..'

"Well.. Listen.. You had a bad disease, and you had to be stuck in bed for more
than a month.. This is why you can't move.. In the other hand, the medications
they gave you made you amnesic.. But don't worry, you'll recovery your memories
in little time.."

Asu: "..So.. Who are you?"

Hikari cheered up: "Well, your best friend, of course!"

Asu: "Oh.. This is why you are here.. But.. If I'm fine now.. Why are we
Still in the hospital?"

Hik: "Well.. you know.."

'Shit.. I must invent something..'

"I came here with.. erh.. your brother, yes ! Your brother came with me to
pick up you, when we saw a friend of us brought here injured.."

Asu: "So I have a brother.. How is he?"

Hik: "Well.. You'll recognize him in no time: he has the hair color carrot, he
wears glasses and wear always a white shirt.."

Asu: ".. Why doesn't he use contacts?"

Hik: 'Well.. It's strange.. She knows contacts, and she doesn't remember
who is she..'

"Well.. to tell the truth.. I never asked him..."

Asu: "I see.."

She thought for a moment and then spoke: "First you told me to not worry about
Shinji.. Is he the friend you talked about?"

Hik: "Yes. He had been brought here by his... mother..."

Asu: "Oh. And my parents? Where are my parents?"

Hik: 'erh..'

"They're outside Japan for now.. A business trip, I guess.."

Asu: "Oh."

"..."

"Where is my brother?"

Hik: " He went to buy something to eat in the fastfood nearby. He'll be back
in no time."

Asu: ".. So we are waiting for that boy, Shinji?"

Hik: "Well.. I think he won't be able to leave the hospital so soon.. It seems
That he has fallen over a glass, breaking it and tearing his shoulder.. I
think he'll have to stay here for a bit.."

Asu: ".. I want to go home.."

Hik: ".. well.."

'What can I do ? Her real home is out of question.. Kensuke's is a pile of
stones.. Maybe my hold house? It is still furnished, since we didn't have
the time to pick our furniture..'

"..We have to wait for your brother, then we'll say goodbye to Shinji and
to his mother, and finally we'll go to your home.."

Asu: "..."

Asuka closed herself into deep thoughts, so Hikari started looking anxiously
for Kensuke: 'Well.. How may minutes he needs to buy something to eat?'

Kensuke was waiting at the fast-food's take away. He was behind a guy who was
buying an incredible number of hamburgers and cheeseburgers. He asked so many
things to eat that they weren't able to give him all in one time...

Kensuke was bored to wait and told to the stranger: "Excuse me, Mister."

Str: "Uh? What do you want, kid?"

Kensuke had a deja-vu.. '..I think I've already met this guy.. Where?'

Ken: "Well.. I have to buy only four hamburger.. I see you are waiting for more
that 35.. Can you let me pass? I'm starving.."

Str: ".. Okay.. Miss, serve the kid for now."

Kensuke greeted and took the bag, leaving.

In the way back, he tried to remember where he had seen that man.. 'I'm sure
I've already seen him.. Where? Well.. Maybe it isn't so important..' And he
started eating some potatoes.. When he got to the waiting room, he was finishing
his potatoes, putting the reminder in his mouth. He waved to Hikari, who ran to
him: "Kensuke! Kensuke! Listen to me carefully: Asuka is amnesic, and you are
her brother. The major is Shinji's mother, your parents are aboard, you live in
my house alone. Shinji fell on a glass."

Kensuke choked himself with the potatoes, and started couching and even crying.
When he was again able to breathe, he looked again to the class rep: "Are.. Are
you serious?". They were in the middle of the room, and Asuka was looking at
them. Hikari pushed Kensuke toward her, whispering in his ears: "Try to greet
her. I've told her we'd left after saying goodbye to the Major and Shinji.."

Now Kensuke was standing in front of Asuka, bag still in hand, mouth covered
by piece of potatoes..

Asuka looked at him for a brief moment.. '.. Is it true that he's my brother?',
then she asked: "So you are my brother.."
Kensuke looked back to Hikari, who elbowed him in the back, and nodded
nervously..

Asu: "What's your name, brother?"

For once, Kensuke did something natural: "So you really don't remember my
name?"

Asuka frowned: "I've already told that to.." she looked at Hikari, who
understood and hurried: "Hikari.". Asuka continued: ".. Hikari.. But.. If I was
amnesic.. Why didn't the doctor inform you?"

Kensuke scratched his back: "You know.. in these times, there aren't very good
doctors around..", 'This reminds me.. How are the doctor and the nurse? I must
do something for them..'

Asu: "I see.. Wait ! Are you my little bro' or my big bro' ?"

Kensuke winkled.. 'I guess it's better I told her I'm her little brother..' so
he managed to smile and said: "Call me little bro', if you want."

Asuka expression softened, and grabbed his hand. Kensuke nearly jumped, but
succeeded in not breaking the grip Asuka was having on his hand.

Asu: "Okay, little bro'. H.. Hikari told me you went to buy something to eat..
well, I'm starving.. Could you?"

Kesuke slapped his forehead with his left hand, not very easy for him: "What
an idiot !" He bent down and produced from the bag tree complete meals. Asuka
left her grip, grabbed one and started eating the fried potatoes: "Mh..
Delicious! Maybe with the mayonnaise they would taste better!"

Ken: "You know.. eating too much fried potatoes would you get fat, sis !"

Hikari arched an eyebrow: 'Sis? I assume he's getting inside his character..
too well..'

They started eating, forgetting the forth meal.. It was there for a stomach..
But that stomach, just now, had other to do.

Misato was in fact crying, now from a long time, over Shinji's chest.. She was
alone in his room, and even if she wasn't, she wouldn't care.

End of chapter 7

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X-Ray: I prefer the pink sauce : mayonnaise and runaway bride's blood...

EBJ: I prefer western sauce: gimme a McRib and a Dr.Pepper (hard to find
good doctors indeed).

X-Ray adds to the shopping list Dr Pepper between tomatoes and Desert Eagle..

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