A/N-...*munches on cookies*...my cookie. Thanks for all the nice reviews guys. (and critique. T.T) In all honesty, I'm not going to make the chapters that long, my style is nice and short, but I'll tweak it a bit to make it longer. And more in depth.

Disclaimer-Bleach? Sure...I use it in my laundry sometimes :P But no, me no own...

Chapter 2: Romance for Retards

Rukia sighed. The day had been so boring. Ukitake-taichou had been more ill than usual today and hadn't been able to assign many missions, he was spending most of his time at the fourth division getting his weekly check up. She wondered if sometimes Ukitake-taichou faked his symptoms just to be near Unohana-taichou, he always speemed quite cheerful when he got back from his regular appointments.

The thirteenth squad's barracks were quiet and peaceful for once, but that was only because Kiyone and Sentaro were having their daily squabble somewhere else. Most of the shinigami in that division had been given a day off due to their taichou's lack of health.

She sat on the floorboards of the squad barrack's porch, leaning against the wall she sitting pulled her knees to her chin and slowly exhaled. Her fingers drumming in a consecutive beat. Her eyes darted from left to right, they seemed to be searching for something or someone.

"Where is he?" Rukia asked to herself. The wind began picking up, stands of her raven hair flying up near her face and tickling her cheeks. Rukia raised a hand haphazardly to smooth her hair back in place. Her stomack growled loudly, Rukia put a hand over it in a manner to settle it.

"Hungry?" Rukia stiffened, looking around for the source of the voice. Her eyes spotted something pink of the roof of the building.

Kyouraku-taichou.

Only he would wear a pink kimono over his captain's haori. That and who else would spend half their day on the roof hiding from their fukutaichous? Only him. Rukia rose to bow to him, though he probably didn't notice, being on the roof and all.

"Er, no...Kyouraku-taichou." She noticed him raising his hand and gesturing over at her to join him up on the roof. She quickly complied, landing swiftly on her feet bent down, still in a bowing position. He smiled at her, chuckling at her behavior towards him. Rukia's brows furrowed when she heard his small laugh, raising her head a bit higher she asked, "Sir?"

Kyouraku simply nodded. He waited a bit before answering her. "I'm not your older brother, Rukia-chan. You don't have to bow like that in my presence...just once in a while so I can feel special."

Rukia blushed, raising her head a bit she gave him a small smile. "Gomen, Kyouraku-taichou."

"That's better. Hmm, you've got a nice smile Rukia-chan. Almost as pretty as my Nanao-chan." Rukia looked to the side, not used to being praised on her smiles by a person of his rank. She quietly muttered a thank you.

"Umm. Kyouraku-taichou, if you don't mind me asking. Where is Nanao-fukutaichou?" Kyouraku tapped his chin, trying to remember where he ditched his lieutenant at.

"Huh. I'm not all that sure, but hopefully she won't find me. Rukia-chan, who are you waiting for?" Rukia bit her lip, debating whether or whether not she should tell him who she was waiting for. Kyouraku observed her expression and made a guess. "Is it a boy?"

Rukia blushed bright red. Shaking her hands wildly, she shook her head and tried to explain. "A b-boy? No-no-no-no-no! It's not like that..." Rukia's eyes feel to the shingles of the roof they were sitting on. "Well, you see. Ichigo told me that there's a magical bunny that hands out chocolate eggs and I thought that, maybe if I waiting long enough...he'd come. I'm starting to think that he was lying..."

Kyouraku blinked. Then a childish grin spread across his face. "Oh, you're talking about the Easter Bunny. Um, Rukia-chan..you do know that it's near the end of July. Easter Day, as they call it in the world of the living, is held sometime in April, I think."

Rukia looked down again, trying to conceal her embarrassment. "Oh...thank you, Kyouraku-taichou."

She laughed nervously. However, in the inside, she was silently plotting to kill Ichigo. How dare he tell her that 'if you go outside when it's really sunny and warm outside, you might be able to see the magical Easter Chappy.' That jerk, he'd pay for lying about something as sacred as Chappy the Bunny.

Suddenly, Rukia felt her nose itch, a couple seconds later she sneezed. Kyouraku tipped his hat lower. "You know, Rukia-chan, some say that if you sneeze that means that someone is talking about you."

Rukia wiped slightly red nose with the back of her hand. "Oh. Well, if that someone is Ichigo, I'd don't believe it."

Kyouraku chuckled. Rukia felt her nose begin to twitch again. "Aa...achoo!"

Kyouraku simply grinned. "Seems like someone really likes to talk about you."

Rukia sniffled. Another sneeze was coming soon, she could feel it. "Excuse me, Kyouraku-taichou...ahh...achoo!"

She got up and shunpoed away, leaving Kyouraku laying there with his small, knowing grin. "Wonder what lucky fella is talking about Rukia-chan."

"THERE YOU ARE, KYOURAKU!!!" A shirll, angry voice broke through the silence after Rukia had left. Kyouraku looked up. Uh-oh, it was Nanao. Lifting his hands up nervously in effort to calm her down. It failed.

"Uh...now, now, Nanao-chan..." His eyes widened slightly. "Hey, when did you get a new fan...wait...don't-"

Matsumoto giggled maniacally as she dragged her captain out of his office. This caused Toushirou to consider the state of her mentality. She had run in all of the sudden, her face red with excitement and adrenaline, screaming about true love and a book. Hmph. Since when did Matsumoto have an interest in reading?

"Oh, taichou~, it's wonderful, absolutely WONDERFUL!" She said as she pulled Toushirou by his sleeve, out of the tenth division barracks. He tried several times to pull his hand out of her grip but all proved pointless since she was obviously hell-bent on taking him to this 'wonderful, magical, enchanting place,'. Why'd did he accept her offer. After all there was not much between him and the talk-abouted Kuchiki princess. Hell, before the whole incident with her almost execution, he had only known that Rukia was Kuchiki Byakuya's younger sister.

"What the devil are you talking about, Matsumoto?!" She paused for a moment, as though she'd forgotten the reason for dragging him out of his quarters. Then a light came on over her head, metaphorically speaking.

"We're going to this place in the Rukon district that I found while searching for the new bar, it has something in its stock that may be the answer to all your problems! Isn't that just great?! Toushirou stared her with his trademark scowl plastered upon his face.

"Yet again...didn't I hand you some paperwork earlier this evening?" Matsumoto pouted.

"Aww come on taichou, we're on the quest for TRUE LOVE!" She stuck a heroic position, Toushirou sweatdropped slightly. "Isn't that more important than some fuddy-duddy paperwork?"

"No." Toushirou deadpanned.

"Hmph, you're no fun...I mean, someone else always does the paperwork that I don't do. Can't they just keep on doing that?" She began walking again, pulling Toushirou along with her.

"Matsumoto, that someone is me."

"Oh...I always thought that it was some magical elves that do paperwork. You know, like in that story where the midgets fixed shoes for that one guy." A small tick mark appeared on Toushirou's forehead.

"Midgets?" He said with a slight undertone of threat evident in his voice. Matsumoto waved him off.

"Sorry. I meant vertically challenged people." The tick got larger.

"MATSUM-" She cut him off.

"Look, taichou! We're here!" She pointed for extra enthusiasm. Toushirou sighed and took a look at the building she was pointing at. It was a small, boarded up shack, with no windows and no door. Just a sign that said W.S.A.

"Where the hell are we?" Matsumoto motioned for him to be silent. She knelt against the ground and knocked on it ten times to the beat of the "Milkshake" song. Toushirou didn't recognize the tune but simply quirked a white eyebrow at her action. Then, like magic, the square of ground she had knocked on sunk into the ground, disappearing along the way in the darkness. Matsumoto glanced over at her captain who had an astonished expression on his face, she smirked and stood up.

"Follow me, taichou." With that se leptinto the underground tunnel. Toushirou walked up the block of pitch black and hesitantly jumped in.

several seconds of falling later...

Matsumoto landed agilely on her feet and moved over to wait for her captain, who was still in the tunnel falling. Finally he came down through the opening on the ceiling of the cavern, landing on his butt. She stifled a laugh as Toushirou glared at her. He looked around the area trying to figure out where in the Seiretei they were currently under.

"Where are we?" he asked. Matsumoto pointed to a large sign to the left of them.

WOMANS' SHINIGAMI ASSOCIATION

"Oh." Matsumoto began walking again with Toushirou following closely behind. She was strangely silent during the time they spent walking in the ill-lit cavern. The only source of light was the occassional torch. They continued to walk for a good ten minutes before the two reached an enormous room.

The room was painted a royal shade of lilac, a few paintings ranging from impressionist to abstract hanging on the walls. The ceiling had a mosiac like decoration showing a scene from "Romeo and Juliet", the balcony scene to be exact, a grand, crystal and gold chandlier hanging precariously from a small looking golden chain. The carpet was a soft pink color and was soft to the touch. A white conference table near one of the corners, the other areas of the room were dedicated to things such as stuffed animals, make up stations, a small kitchen, large walk-in closet, soda and popcorn machines. In the center of the room was a huge crystal fountain gushing milk chocolate from two pitchers held by two angels. It was quite the elaborate set up.

"Welcome to the Womans' Shinigami Association, taichou. This is one of the smaller meeting areas." Toushirou's eyes widened.

"Small?! This room is enormous!" Matsumoto looked at him in disbelief.

"Uh...believe me, taichou. There are a lot more meeting areas that are ten times the size of this room right here." Toushirou shook his head, still trying to digest all the information. Suddenly, dozens of female shinigami appeared in the room. One of them was Isane.

"Rangiku-san? What are you doing here so early? The meetings don't start until-ah!" Isane noticed the tenth division captain standing next to Matsumto. "Hitsugaya-taichou? Wha-what are you doing at a Womans' Shinigami Association meeting?" Toushirou scowled.

"That's exactly what I'd like to know. Matsumoto, care to give us some light in this topic?" Matsumoto smiled sheepishly. She leaned over to Isane and whispered something into her ear. Isane's eyes widened, her lips were slowly curving.

"Aww, that's so romantic! Hitsugaya-taichou you LIKE Rukia-san?" she gushed. Toushirou simply turned away, scowling and blushing at the same time. Matsumoto grinned.

"Well, he didn't say no. By the way, Isane. Where's the President?" Isane shrugged.

"I don't know. She always arrives late."

"Oh, well, is Rukia-chan here?" Toushirou turned to hear Isane's answer.

"No. She told me that she had some 'waiting' to do." Matsumoto smiled.

"Great, we need to keep this a secret from Rukia-chan anyways." Isane smiled back. A puff of pink smoke erupted from the entry, when the smoke cleared Yachiru stood there with her hands in a victory sign.

"Hiya everyone! Sorry I'm late, Ken-chan needed some directions again and he-WHITEY-CHAN?" A familiar tick mark appeared on Toushirou's forehead.

"That's Hitsugaya-taichou to you." Yachiru ran over to Toushirou and tackled him, pushing both him and her to the ground.

"Why are you here at a W.S.A. meeting?" she asked good naturedly. Toushirou pushed her off of his chest and got up and dusted himself off.

"That is what I want to know. Matsumoto?" His icy gaze fell onto Matsumoto, who leaned down to Yachiru's ear and whispered something into her ear. Just like Isane, her eyes widened with surprise and her lips curved into a small smile.

"Ohh...Whitey-chan's got the hots for Rukia-chan." she spoke as if she had just been asked what color the sky was. Toushirou's face turned beat red.

"I DO NOT HAVE THE 'HOTS' FOR RUKIA-CHAN-I MEAN, KUCHIKI!!!" The room got quiet. Then as though a fuse had been lit, everyone began whispering. Toushirou realized the audacity of his words and got silent. Matsumoto, Yachiru, and Isane were standing next to him, barely containing their laughter. Matsumoto was the first to recover, she turned to Yachiru.

"Anyways...heh...do you think I could borrow 'that book'?" Yachiru's face quickly got serious as she looked over at Matsumoto, observing her expressions. Finally after a few moments of thought, Yachiru spoke.

"Very well. I presume you will be using 'that book' to get Whitey-chan and Rukia-chan together, right?" Matsumoto nodded. Yachiru nodded as well and shunpoed away in the same puff of pink smoke she appeared in. Toushirou stood there confused about what 'that book' meant.

"What are you talking about? What book?" Matsumoto didn't answer. Instead, Isane did.

"You'll see, Hitsugaya-taichou." Toushirou's brows knitted together. Finally Yachiru returned, she was holding a package wrapped in a blue, silk cloth. Yachiru cleared her throat.

"Behold...the single greatest book that was ever created...for years it has helped men and women fall in true, eternal love...Romance for Retards!!!!" Toushirou sweatdropped.

"WHAT?!" Yachiru unwrapped the small package. It was a medium sized book, with a decent amount of pages. Its cover was yellow with a black band with the title. A picture of a dorky guy with circular glasses giving a thumbs up sign was on the left corner. In the right corner was some writing. 'The full proof method for getting the girl of your dreams, working in just ten days or your money back free!'

"See, Whitey-chan, full proof, and works in just ten days too. By that time you'll have a girlfriend that's as short as you."

Sigh.

A/N- There..yawn...I'm tired from staring at the laptop screen for so long. My eyes are soo sleepy. Please leave a review. Thanks.