"Well, Gaz, how do I look?"

Gaz looked up from her videogame and her normally squinty eyes ballooned.

"Not bad, huh?" said Dib, looking over himself. Completely concealing his body was a holographic image of Tak's human disguise. The hair, the shirt, that skirt type thing, those kick-ass boots, and even the beauty mark were exactly like Tak's. "I look pretty snazzy, eh?"

Gaz squinted once more and went back to playing her game. "There are a lot of words to describe what you look like, Dib. 'Snazzy' isn't one of them."

Dib didn't hear her; he was beaming proudly about his new disguise. "I guess I'm off to defeat Zim ..." His posture shrank a little. "... with notes." He straightened back up and walked triumphantly towards the door.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

He stopped and brought his finger up to his chin. "Hmm … no, I think I've got everything. Trust me, I planned this out very well last night," he said proudly.

"Well, okay then." She didn't even look up. "I just thought Zim might be a bit confused that Tak has a dude's voice."

"Oh, crap!" He rushed back to the ship to correct his mistake. Since Tak's downloaded personality interface included her voice, he was able to upload that to his disguise.

And with that, he was off.

He cautiously walked up Zim's sidewalk. In his backpack he had a voice recorder, to record any and all notes he could. He also had his laptop, and a weapon ... just in case. The lawn gnomes locked on and pivoted around, following his every step. He stopped at the door and took a deep breath.

Knock knock.

The door opened. "Llama?!" shouted GIR enthusiastically, in his doggie costume. Dib glanced around, confused. "The llamas are gone!"

He hesitated then shook off GIR's silly comment. Clearing his throat he said in Tak's voice, "This is Irken Invader Tak! I've come to speak with Zim!"

GIR didn't move. His eyes just stared. Then he poked his head out the door and looked around, keeping his eye level no higher than Dib's waist. "Where's your kitty?"

Dib cringed. In his Red Bull-induced work rush last night, he had forgotten all about Mimi. He was beginning to wonder if he'd thought this out as well as he'd believed. "She's … umm …" He thought fast. "... dead." Probably too fast.

"WAHHHH!" GIR wailed, his nubby arms flailing.

"Whoa there, shut up!" shushed Dib, not wanting to make a scene.

GIR perked back to his normal self and gave a thumbs-up. "Alrighty!" He scampered off and hopped on the couch to continue watching TV.

Dib walked in and looked around. He walked through the upper part of the house, taking pictures with one hand and holding his voice recorder in the other. He spoke softly: "I've entered the house. Currently taking photos of the couch, some weird panting of a green monkey-bear-alien thing, the TV, the ceiling, the — GAH!"

He ran right smack into Zim.

Dib had anticipated this moment. Not the bumping into Zim part, but the meeting-Zim-as-Tak part. After running the scenario over in his head several times last night, he decided the best and only way to get Zim to let Tak stay with him was with some good ol' fashioned ego-stroking.

So he dropped to his knees.

"Oh, mighty Zim!" he began, his hands clasped. "I am not worthy!"

Zim's eyes bulged. "TAK?!"

"Please forgive me, Almighty Zim, for our last encounter. You, with your superior intellect, bested me. You are truly elite, your awesomeness unmatched by any Irken I've ever met." Inside this little speech was killing Dib; he could feel vomit in the back of his throat.

Zim just stood there in an uncomfortable mix of confusion and pride.

"And that is why I am here: to humbly request that you teach me your ways. Perhaps, in time, some of your greatness may rub off on me, and I could become a great invader like yourself."

"Me? Rub my greatness on you?" Zim folded his arms. "This is pathetic, Tak. Invaders need no one!"

"Please, Zim! I only want to bask in your awesomeness!"

Zim began to think. The idea of having an actually competent subordinate was intriguing him. "After thinking it over I have decided that I am awesome. You may stay and do my bidding."

Dib stood up. "You won't regret it," he said with a particularly sly grin.

"But you must understand ..." began Zim, his face turning from blind pride to something much more sinister, "… that if you are my apprentice-slave you must do whatever I tell you to do. Do you agree? "

Dib thought this was creepy but nodded nonetheless.

"Good. Your first task is to give the base a good cleaning." He started to walk away to the toilet, to descend back underground. "For some reason it stinks like human in here."

Dib sniffed himself and got to work.

"KIWI! Hehehe, you've got no wings!" GIR put the fruit in his mouth.

"Close your mouth-hole!" commanded Zim. "I'm working on my most brilliant plan."

"Are you gonna shove kiwis in the humans?" The kiwi was still hanging out of his mouth.

Zim blinked. "No."

"Awww ..."

"I won't bother to explain it to you."

GIR nodded. "Probably for the beeeeest …"

Zim turned back to his computer and proceeded to talk to GIR anyway. "I'm hoping it will go more smoothly than my past ones now that I have Tak under me."

Zim didn't know it but a shadowy, eavesdroppy figure loomed in the doorway behind him.

"I am so SICK of losing to that Dib-human! You know, that ugly kid?"

Dib narrowed his eyes. Psshh!

"Every single squeedly time he gets me! That filthy nuisance! I just want to rip out his pancreas and dangle it in front of him. You know what'd he say, 'oh, please give that back, I don't know what it does, but give it back anyway!' You can picture this, yes? And anyway, I'd say, 'no, I'm keeping it,' and we'd continue this banter until all his blood is drained and I step atop him the victor."

"What ... the ... f—"

"Tak, is that you?" Zim whipped around in the chair. "Were you listening to me?"

Dib was still somewhat stunned by Zim's violent ramblings about him. "... yes?"

"Come here. I want to show you something."

Dib cautiously walked over to Zim. He stopped a bit short but Zim waved him closer.

"I want to tell you about my new plan." He had that evil grin again. "Prepare yourself to hear it, because it is AMAZING!"

Dib stood there awkwardly. A few seconds passed. "Okay, I'm prepared."

"Okay, good. My new plan is inspired by this earth creature called the 'seahorse.' The male has the babies, you know. That's hard to wrap your head around. For a second your brain is just like '??' You know, two question marks."

"….??"

"So I thought, what if I could take that feeling and make it continuously repeat itself? You see where I'm goin'? Warp the brain into having '??' moments over and over. If my calculations are correct, it'll only take about ten or so repeats before the brain becomes mush. Like PLAY-DOH!"

Dib had one eye halfway closed in confusion.

"I've already built a device to do just such. I call it the 'BRAIN GOO MUSH ... THING.' And after I use it on the humans, they will be ripe for conquest!" Zim lowered his fists, which he had raised proudly while explaining this, and turned to Dib. "So what do you think?"

Dib blinked long and hard. He couldn't tell him the truth. He couldn't just blurt out that this was absolutely the most horrible, ridiculous, idiotic, retarded dribble of a plan he'd ever had the misfortune of hearing. "It's spectacular, Zim!"

"Yes, of course. And together, we shall execute it flawlessly." His eyes narrowed. "And that Dib will be the first receive the brain goo-ing."

Dib cringed but quickly turned it into an awkward smile. "Umm … huzzah!" It was Dib then Dib noticed Zim staring intently at him. Dib quickly looked down and then back up. "What?"

"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking that your head looks bigger than I remember." He shrugged. "But anyway, when we see Dib he's gonna --"

"MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!" Dib quickly covered his mouth. 'Damnit Dib, you're going to blow your cover!'

But Zim was so thick he didn't even make the connection. He simply finished his sentence and dismissed Dib to continue cleaning. He had to finish up a few minor kinks in his new device for tomorrow …