AN: Angst alert!! Note, a bit more angst-y then the previous chapter.. But this is good kind of angst, not an I- want- to- rip- my hair- out kind of angst!!

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She knocked on the door rapidly.

Please be ok Tony, please be ok.

The door swung open, revealing a very dishevelled and slightly red faced Tony.

"Took ya long enough Zee-vah," he smirked. She followed him into his apartment. She'd been there so many times before, for movie nights, the occasional staff potluck… but this time it looked different.. Disorderly.

Not a good sign…

"Are you ok Tony?" she asked quietly, stopping in the middle of his living room.

Raising an eyebrow, he bitterly replied, his words slurring slightly as he spoke, "Well, lets see.. I just pretty much killed the director of NCIS, a woman who I had a tremendous amount of respect and admiration for.. And to make the situation better, as a direct result of that, the new asshole director decided that an appropriate punishment for my incompetence would be to send me to sea to eat porridge out of a can for a year and have rats as next door neighbours. And have no interaction with women for what should be an illegal amount of time, could I add. So, am I ok? I'll let you be the judge of that."

He collapsed on the couch, as if exhausted by his sudden outburst.

This thing hit him harder then I thought.

Ziva sat down gingerly beside him, "You are angry."

Tony didn't look at her, but instead remained staring forward, "Another genius diagnosis from Ziva David… you're a regular Freud, ya know that?"

"Tony… about the director- do not blame yourself for that. These things happen- and we are helpless to stop them- whether we try to or not."

"Not when I'm around they don't- I messed up Ziva- just say it- I messed up." He was still staring ahead at the wall opposite.. As if afraid that his expression would reveal too much to her.

You of all people do not deserve this burden- you, who would give your life for anyone.

"Tony- do not do this to yourself," she replied quietly.

He jumped up, possessed by sudden rage, "Say it Ziva! I messed up! I just want to hear you say it!"

She stood up and grabbed him by the shoulders. She held him in place, and said firmly,

"Tony, get a hold of yourself! You can not change the past, so what is the use in fixating on it?"

She met his eyes evenly, probing for a reaction. His face changed, and his fiery glare was replaced with the melancholy gaze of a lost child.

"You were right today, I just didn't want to hear it. We are all alone. And I've never felt as alone as I felt tonight. Alone in my guilt… like in every other way."

The latter part was said quietly.. Almost as an afterthought. But Ziva heard it.

You do not have to be alone Tony.

Tony laughed to himself, and continued, "But I don't have the right to complain do I? I'm still breathing, I can still live, laugh, love.."

Love. Yes..

"She was in love with him." He stared at Ziva.

Ziva's heart skipped a beat. His words hit home and it took her a second to realize that he wasn't talking about herself.

"How do you know?" She asked quietly.

"The look on her face whenever she saw him- talked to him- heard about something brave that he did."

Ziva smiled sadly, remembering back to the time when he had known that she had fallen for Roy because of the look on her face.

"When since were you an expert on looks?"

Tony smiled slightly, remembering vaguely when he had heard those words before, "You would have to be blind and deaf to not know it Zee-vah. What about how jealous she got over Mann? Or, the way she said his name? It was an Ashley/Scarlett situation. Gone with the Wind. She loves him, longs for him for years, and he doesn't know.. Until it's too late and circumstances prevent it from ever working out."

"Maybe- Jenn had good reasons not to tell him," Ziva said quietly as she broke eye contact with Tony.

"Like what?" he replied, continuing to stare intensely at her.

"Maybe- she was scared that he would not feel the same way. That is a very good reason." She met his eyes, trying not to blink. His eyes had not budged from her face, it was as if he was trying to read it for meaning.

Oh god, why did I say that? He knows for sure now, he must. He is just toying with me.

"But why would she have worried about that? A beautiful, intelligent, strong woman like the director? She could've gotten any guy she wanted, no problem. Gibbs would have been thrilled, he would have had a freakin' hay day. But instead of telling him, she chose the sleepless nights, the raging jealousy, the never ending heartache. It's so strange that such a brave woman would allow herself to crumble like that, push aside a chance at happiness because of unnecessary fear and leave it until it was too late for them to ever-

"Stop!"

She yelled the word without planning to do so. His last words had been like physical blows to her.

Do it…now.

"What?" he asked, raising an eyebrow slowly.

Now.

"Tony, I-"

His eyes widened, and, in that moment, she knew that he was aware of exactly what was coming. Suddenly, his cell phone rang- it's shrill tone echoing through the apartment.

Of course that has to happen right now.. Of all times.

"Who would be calling at this time?" He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at it, a frown creased his face as he read the name across the screen.

"Gibbs…" he turned to Ziva, "I should take this."

She nodded, trying to hide her disappointment about the ruined moment.

"Boss?" Tony asked, picking up the phone.

"Dinozzo. Don't leave when you were told to by Vance tomorrow. I want you at the office at 7 am tomorrow."

"What?" Tony asked, totally dumbfounded.

"You heard me."

"Yeah, but-"

"No ifs, ands, or buts about it Dinozzo. While you're still in this city, I'm still your boss and I want you at the office tomorrow. Make sure to lay low, don't let Vance see you. Meet me in the evidence garage at 7 sharp. Oh, and call Ziva.. Repeat the message."

"Oh, I will.. She's actually right here boss."

Gibbs chuckled, "I'm not even gonna ask."

"Does this mean it's not over?" Tony asked hopefully.

"Not without a fight Dinozzo. Never without a fight." Gibbs hung up and Tony turned to Ziva, grinning.

"Gibbs is going to save us Ziva." And, before she knew what was happening, she was being encompassed in a warm hug. Tony never hugged her, and she was momentarily taken aback. When the momentary shock had worn off however, she smiled sadly into his shoulder and asked quietly, "Is he?"

Their discussion prior to the phone call was neglected, as Tony began to babble on about his theories to do with how Gibbs was going to overrule Vance. The moment was lost.

But instead of telling him, she chose the sleepless nights, the raging jealousy, the never ending heartache. Ha.

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AN: Now for Gibbs's plan!! And, how will Ziva's almost- confession put a strain on her and Tony's relationship?! Reviews if you please! They keep me writing and happy, so the more I get, the better the next chapter!!