The Perfect Mary Sue.

Now in a perfect world, we need the perfect Mary Sue. Below is a guide entailing the basic requirements for the l33tes Mary Sue. Hopefully by the end we should have a Mary Sue so awesomely Mary Sue that she should have created world peace, arm wrestled with Neo and won, handed reared a litter of sparkle unicorns, married Zuko, bedded Sokka, Haru, Jet, Longshot and Iroh all at the same time, whilst saving a earth kingdom village from thugs.

Step One:

Take your bra size, and triple it.

Take your weight, half it, and then divide by 10 it until you get some zeros.

Take you height, add 8 inches, should be over 6ft ish.

Take a piece of string, wrap it around your waist and pull tight until you can't feel your legs. Measure this length and this should be roughly the size of your Mary Sue's waist. Tiny.

Step Two:

Now we have the impossible figure of the Mary Sue, time to move onto her beauty. She be of such an astounding beauty, that any canon character will fall in love with just her looks. This gift of beauty also comes with the handy mind wiping side effects. The canon character will instantly forget about any other logical love interest.

Long shiny hair that has no spilt ends is most common, or a short hair style with lots beads and braids, or huge plaits hanging everywhere. Of course the Mary Sue doesn't need to style her hair in the morning, so anything elaborate is fine whilst travelling.

Her eyes must be deep swirling pools of water, sparkly as the bestest diamond, and big as possible. Her eyes must change colour when feeling emotion, or when the weather changes., the more colours, the better.

High cheeks bones are a must, with a natural blush. Pouty, sensual lips needed, yes we all happen to look pouty and sexy all the time.

Add a scar from the fire nation so she has plenty of common ground with all of the canon characters, but it must not detract from her awesome beauty.

Step Three:

The Mary sue is an icon of strength prevailing from a tragic past. Upon discovering her great ability to bend all four the elements, as well as being Aang's long lost twin sister, Iroh's wife and a nobel peace prize winner, Mary Sue realised she wasn't like the other girls who bullied her at her tiny village because of her strange power to talk to animals, including her hairy gorilla of a dad. She is either cast of out her home, or her parents are murdered in front of her eyes by the Fire nation, she is perfectly content to carry on as a perky nice girl after shedding some tears over a their dead bodies and swearing revenge, and later to retract the revenge when she sees Zuko, PRINCE of the Fire nation.

She is able to turn any character around with mind blowing logic, and even convince Jet who harbours serious prejudices against the Fire Benders to try and get along with them.

Sometime along the way she must have mastered the elements, become a teacher to Aang, a wonderful duellist with spoons and sporks, or anything she can get her hands on.

And this complete the vauge guide to the Mary Sue, may you now go out in and write about the perfect Mary Sue, may you go out and reek havoc upon the English language