Author's Note: So no volunteers to beta for me. So once again I'm sorry for the mistakes you'll find in the chapter. Hope you'll like it better than the first one.
"Richard Castle you are under arrest for the murder of Elise Grayson…"
That is as far as either Beckett or Castle hears. She raises her head to look at him while Esposito handcuffs him. It's the same moment that Castle seeks her eyes looking for comfort. He wants to be able to see that even though everything and everyone is against him, she still has faith in him. What he sees hurts more than the handcuffs on his wrists. Kate Beckett is sad, heartbroken even. He knows what she must be thinking right now and he wishes he could just talk to her, reassure her. But the other cop is pulling him away. He hears her voice telling them he'll stay behind with Ryan to search his loft for evidence and not to start the interrogation process without her. He hears it then, her voice oh so different from the confident, strong detective he knows. Does she really have doubts about his guilt? Or does she think he cheated on her? He really hopes that he is over reacting because from the look of it, he will really need her help with this one.
When Ryan and Beckett are left alone in the loft, she collapses on the couch putting her face in her hands trying to forget the image she just saw. Ryan leaves her a minute to compose herself and then asks:
"What are we looking for?"
Beckett takes a deep breath but she can't hide the tears in her eyes.
"I really don't know. Maybe the jewelry?"
"Sounds like a plan. I'll start from his study."
"Yeah and I'll, uh, search the bedroom."
She knows there is nothing to find. She knows her Castle is not capable of murder and such a gory one. But she could really use a few minutes to herself before heading back to start the interrogation. She looks around, so many memories already in this room. So many happy nights spent here, but not tonight. Tonight she must treat him as a murder suspect and one who killed his supposedly lover. Her breath hitches thinking about the possibility of Castle with another woman. The tears start streaming down her face and she is sobbing. She heads to the bathroom sits on the floor and let's herself burst. When she's finally let some anguish go, she cleans up and starts searching drawers, closets, everything. After a while Ryan shows up announcing that he hasn't found anything. She agrees that there is nothing to find and it's time to head back.
One long look at the loft before closing the door, and a supporting hand from Kevin on her shoulder while telling her that everything will be okay, and they are off.
Back at the precinct Esposito has left Castle inside the interrogation room and he is reading the file over and over. He wants to go in, and demand some answers but he refrains knowing that Beckett would want to be there in every step; to hear his answers, to watch his reactions. They seem to have a strange bonding, to be able to read each other perfectly, so he just sits back waiting for the two detectives to arrive.
The interrogation procedure is a tricky one for Beckett. She doesn't want Gates doubt her ability to solve this case, so she asks all those questions she knows will hurt the most, but really she doesn't have any other choice if she doesn't want to be removed off the case. After countless times that Castle had told her, his connection to the victim –an event planner he consulted a couple of times for a book party his publisher insisted he throw- he dares ask Beckett.
"Do you really think I did it?"
She takes a deep breath and looks at him. It's the first time all night that she has the time to focus on his eyes; his expectant eyes.
"No!" she barely whispers because she knows there is an audience behind the glass. He hears her though and even though the circumstances he manages a small smile. Knowing she has his back makes him feel better.
"Where were you Friday night?" she continues the process. She sees his posture change. His eyes start to pool with unshed tears.
"I think I'd like my lawyer now!" and he shuts like a clam, focusing only on the table surface.
Doubt makes its appearance again on Beckett's mind. Not about the murder, but about whether or not he's been faithful. She remains staring at his ducked head. His reassuring words come to mind again and doubts are forgotten.
Witnessing Beckett hurting so much over Castle, Esposito can't hold it anymore and comes barging in.
"Damn it Castle! Do you know what this case has done to us; to her? Do you know when was the last time I saw her unable to function; right after she got shot!" he bursts.
"Enough!" Beckett interrupts. "We'll continue in the morning with the presence of Castle's attorney." She defuses the tension.
The officer escorts Castle to his holding cell while Ryan and Esposito are ready to head home for the night; but not Beckett. She stays behind supposedly to fill the paperwork needed for the arrest, but mostly she wants to be able to see him; alone.
An hour later the bullpen is empty and Beckett is mentally preparing to see Castle behind bars. Sure it won't be the first time, but that other time was different. They've arrested him mostly to torment him for not contacting them all summer. Now though things are different.
She convinces the officer to take a 15 minute break. Castle is lying on the cot staring at the ceiling, not expecting anyone to visit. She wants so much to go in there and assure him that everything will be okay. But not yet; first she needs the words.
"Hey." She wants to sound strong but her voice betrays her. She brings a chair near the bars.
"Kate! Oh thank god!" he approaches where she's sat, their hands connecting through the bars.
"I know what it must look like with all the evidence there, but you know me, I could never do something so cruel. Write about it? Sure, but not actually execute the plan!"
"It's not the murder part I'm worried about Castle." She lets her head rest on the bars, a tear rolls down but their hands are still linked.
"Kate, no! You have to trust me on this one. Deep inside you know this part isn't true either."
"I know sometimes my work schedule doesn't leave time for personal life Castle. I know sometimes it might feel like I'm neglecting you, but believe me all I want at the end of the day is talk to you, be with you."
"I know all that Kate, I do! I've told you over and over that I've changed. You opt not to listen and continue to doubt me. I don't know what else to do!" he lets go of her hand and tries to withdraw, but before he can go far she catches him by the shirt forcing him to stop.
"Look me in the eyes Castle. Do you see why it hurts to even think the possibility? Do you see it?" She hopes he knows the meaning.
"I do." He nods.
She pulls him closer hugging him as best as she can while whispering.
"I'll get you out. I promise!" and with a slow kiss she is gone.
Beckett has returned home, emotionally drained but in need of some company. So on her way over she had called her friend to finally tell her about Castle and hear her perspective about the case. She had already downed a couple of drinks before Lanie arrived.
"Girl you started the party early?" she comments upon entering.
"Want one?"
"Will I need it?" she fires back.
"Castle and I have been dating for about 6 months now!"
"Oh Kate, start pouring and tell me everything!"
A bottle of scotch later and even more tears Beckett has sum up the last six months of her life, her insecurities about Castle cheating and the current case.
"What do I do Lanie?" she finally asks.
"Stand by your man! The boy is crazy about you; he could never cheat on you Beckett. The way he looks at you, the way he has been looking at you for the last four years! No way! You have to trust him Kate, he really needs you right now and it's your turn to stand by his side no matter what, no questions asked. I'm sure everything will be cleared once this mess is over.
Beckett starts sobbing hard.
"I don't deserve him Lanie. One minute I'm sure of his innocence and the other doubts start to creep my mind. All these years he's been by my side, always believing in me. And now that he is the one to need me, I have my moments of doubting him."
"You just need time to process all this. 5 hours ago you were preparing to spend a night with your boyfriend and then all this information is thrown at you. You are overwhelmed."
"Just before I left tonight, I promised him I'd get him out and that's what I'll do Lanie. No second guessing anymore. You are right once this mess is over with everything will make sense."
"That's my girl." Lanie smiles and hugs her friend because she knows; that determined look on her friend's face means that getting him out and support him, is all she'll focus right now.
TBC