I'd never been on a real ship before. I practiced flying on the remaining simulators I found across Jakku, but that was it. Ben carried me into the Falcon and I stared anxiously at the retreating sand. Mom and dad would ask about me, and I'd be back. I'd tell them I went to food and safety. They would understand why I couldn't wait forever in my gutted Rebel ship.

His embrace was warm and soft and he smelled like home. I nuzzled under his chin and felt the pulse again; the strange sensation that was always under the surface. Ben murmured to his Uncle Luke and brought me down a long hallway. I was afraid but elated. I squeezed my skinny arms around his neck.

The Falcon smelled like oil and steel. Ben opened a door and slipped inside with me curled around him, then leaned into the shower to start the water. I blinked and risked looking away from his neck to see water cascading from the showerhead. I'd only ever seen sonic showers, and those were rare.

He smoothed my hair back. "Ah—want to shower now, or wait?"

I squirmed out of his grasp and my calloused feet touched the cold floor. Ben towered over me and looked away as I began peeling off my sandy clothes. I'd never miss an opportunity for a shower.

"Mom and dad need to know where I am," I said, touching the water to check the temperature.

"…I know. Wash up, little one."

Ben turned to leave and I grabbed his arm. I saw his jaw clench and I knew what I was doing to him, but I didn't care. I could feel it—the weird thing between us. I tugged his elbow.

"Help?" I asked.

He didn't look at me. "You can't shower?"

"I don't want to be alone…"

He hesitated and sighed heavily. I didn't have an ulterior motive—I was scared and lonely. Ben turned slightly and looked at everything but me and lifted me into the shower. He was more than twice my height and ten times as heavy. He knelt on the floor and pushed back his sleeves.

"I have to take care of you, Rey. I sensed you across the Force, and that's very rare." He averted his dark eyes. "…I just wish you were older than this."

"I dunno what any of that means."

"…I know." He squeezed out soap from a pump and gestured. "Can I help?"

Trusting the touch of a stranger wasn't natural for me. Ben was tall and we hardly knew each other and… I drew back and shook my head and he offered his soapy palms instead. We were both quiet until I shuffled closer and swiped off the soap with my dirty fingers. His palms were warm and calloused.

Ben's heart skipped a beat—I could feel it. He watched as I ran my fingertips through my hair. He loved my touch. He lived for it.

We were quiet for a few minutes. He twiddled his thumbs.

"…Can I wash you, Rey?" he asked again.

I peered into his dark eyes through the cascade of water. He seemed safe enough.

"…Sure," I said, "but I'll bite you if you annoy me."

Ben nodded and smiled a bit. He shifted closer and ran his long fingers across my scalp and I leaned into his touch. He scrubbed my head for a bit before tentatively moving on to the rest of my body, avoiding sensitive areas and lingering near my armpits when I squirmed and giggled.

"Ticklish?" he murmured.

"No!" I squealed when he brushed under my arms again and laughed. It had been a long time since I last laughed.

The sand and dirt from Jakku ran into the drain. My hair was fresh and clean and I opened my mouth to drink some of the water from the showerhead. Ben watched me for a few minutes with his chin resting in his soapy hand, smiling, while I finished washing myself. I turned and flipped my hair over my head to let the pulse of the water massage my back.

When I was done, Ben took my hand to help me out of the shower. He stood and opened a closet to give me a fluffy brown towel and I buried my face in it, relishing the sensation. I rubbed it across my body to wipe off all the water and Ben dried my hair. It drew more giggles and squeaks from me.

I yawned as Ben tugged a huge shirt over my head that draped past my knees. It smelled like him.

"I'm sleepy," I mumbled.

"I know, little one." He had knelt on the floor again and carefully curled my hair behind my ears. "Let me bring you to your bed."

"Okay." I rubbed my eyes and pointed to the closet. "Can I have another shirt?"

"Yes. You can have whatever you want."

Ben put the shirt over his shoulder and I stretched my arms up, silently asking to be held. His throat bobbed and he scooped me up under my armpits, wrapping an arm around my body and under my behind to keep me in place. I leaned my head on his shoulder and yawned again. His heart thrummed against my chest as we left the 'fresher and went back into the hallway.

We passed the cockpit. Ben leaned into speak to Luke in a low tone, and I heard another male voice. I blinked blearily and saw a man who looked just like an older Ben studying me curiously. I shrank away from his stare and buried my face in Ben's neck and they all laughed a little.

"Shy little thing," said the unknown man. "I can't believe she's been pickin' around on Jakku of all places."

"She's Force-sensitive. Powerful, like Ben, but she doesn't realize it yet." Luke was talking quietly. "She looks much better, Ben. Good to get all the dirt and grime off her."

Ben's shoulder shifted under my head in a small shrug. "I did my best." His grip moved to boost me up in his arms. "She's sleepy—I'm going to put her to bed and get her some water."

"Your mother would kill to see this," laughed the stranger. "Wanna swing over to Coruscant so she can see you being all nurturing and shit?"

"No swearing around the child, Han," Luke sighed.

"Kid lived on Jakku; I bet she's heard worse."

Ben turned, now rubbing my back. "Excellent parenting, dad."

We left the cockpit and walked down the hall again. I was practically asleep in Ben's arms when we entered another quiet, dark room. I heard rustling and he turned his head to kiss my shoulder.

"I'm going to get you some water," he murmured. "You can sleep here until we get home."

I'd never slept in a bed before. He gently lowered me on the mattress and I sat there and pressed my fingers into it, curious. Ben crossed the room to the sink and came back with water, which I greedily gulped and spilled down my chin. I coughed from drinking so fast and he laughed and tilted my chin to wipe the excess away with his sleeve. He went to get more and I finished that, too.

I'd held my breath while drinking and panted, swallowing to remember the taste. Ben squatted beside the bed and tentatively reached up to brush his long fingers across my cheek. I snatched the extra shirt from his shoulder and rolled it into a ball to squeeze in my arms, smiling.

"You keep touching me."

He blinked and quickly drew back, but I grabbed his hand. I turned it over to look at his palm, tracing the lines and ridges and callouses with my fingertips. His hands were big.

"Mom and dad will like you, I think," I said. "You're nice."

"I'm glad." Ben sat on the floor and watched my fingers moving across his palm. "I'll take good care of you until they come back."

There was something… something I didn't understand. I could feel it buzz while I continued inspecting Ben's hand; it throbbed like a heartbeat and I wanted to sink into him and never move again. It flowed through the room and centered around him. I could almost reach out and touch it.

I wrapped my thin fingers around Ben's wrist and tugged. "Okay, I'm ready for bed."

He laughed. "You have to sleep alone, silly."

"But—"

"It's okay." He stood up. "I'm right next door if you need me. We'll be home soon."

I tried to hold Ben's hand captive but he easily slipped away to help me get settled under the sheets. I pouted but snuggled under them with his shirt and yawned. He leaned over to kiss my temple and began to draw back, then kissed me again. His lips were warm and soft and lingered on my skin.

Ben abruptly straightened up and cleared his throat. "Okay, come get me if you need anything."

"Okay." I closed my eyes and curled into a ball. "Goodnight, Ben. Thank you."

"…Goodnight, Rey."

The door opened and light briefly spilled into the darkness. Ben stood there for an extra minute and I knew he was watching me. Then it shut, and I was alone again.