Yeah, this sweatshirt makes me look fat, Shard thought in the packed concert venue.

It was hot, smelly, and cramped in there - but it wasn't like Shard could feel those things, anyway. To keep himself out of the public eye, Shard was dressed in the thick clothing Elias had bought him, while Elias had had to take other measures to hide himself.

Because Elias was the former king, Shard could understand that disguise was one of the many things he'd learned before inheriting the throne. Shard had never expected it to be this good, though. Even before he'd undergone some makeup, Elias looked like a completely different person in regular clothes and regular posture. Elias assured him that everyone who would be at the concert was so used to his royal appearance that he'd be virtually unrecognizable as an everyman. The makeup would help to solidify the act, even so.

The disguise was so good that Shard was feeling inadequate. Elias also assured him that Shard's disguise would work so long as he didn't draw too much attention to himself. Despite this, Shard was starting to have second thoughts. He supposed it wasn't every day that the most efficient fighting machine in the world went to a Stinking Weasels concert.

Elias and Shard took their seats, in between two loud and probably drunk groups of friends. Well, now it was starting to feel more homely. To be honest, it was exactly how Shard had thought a Stinking Weasels concert should be.

"Not much in the way of fresh air, huh?" Elias said, clearly out of his element.

"Nope!" Shard agreed happily, although technically he couldn't breathe air. Also, he technically wasn't happy.

Shard was starting to feel like this was a bad idea, actually. If he got caught - or if Elias got caught, really - they'd be in loads of trouble. Not to mention, they wouldn't be able to go anywhere without a camera on them for a long time after that.

"Hey, does the Chief know about this?" Shard asked.

Elias shook his head. Shard didn't really feel any better.

Then the opening act came in, swore viciously and loudly, and Shard forgot all of this in place of extreme joy.

"And you've got a $#&$ ing &%# in your bathroom!" the lead singer of the Stinking Weasels sang, finishing his song, two hours later.

Elias was pretty sure Shard was laughing at him.

"Thanks for…# $!...coming out tonight," the lead singer said through the mic. He was probably drunk, just like the people in back of Elias were (he could smell their breath).

Elias looked over. Shard was basically out of breath from laughing.

Elias hadn't heard of a band so...uncouth, that was the word, he guessed...in his life. Their mothers would have had a heart attack. As it was Elias was definitely mortified at the language. But, he also realized that it was either deal with it or never hear the end of it from Shard again.

The band swore seven times in one line. That was fifteen times in the chorus alone. Elias reddened; he wasn't getting used to this any time soon. "I'm going to go get pizza," Elias told Shard.

Shard still wasn't done laughing at him. "Just make sure no one there mistakes you for a tomato!"

As Elias returned from the pizza stand, it was clear the concert was winding down. Some people were getting up. "I guess we'd better go, too, huh?" Shard asked. "It'd be trouble if we were the last out. Harder to get lost in the crowd."

Elias agreed. They filed out of the venue quietly, and Elias found the night air to be much less stifling than it had been outside. Incidentally, it was a perfect night for trouble.

"Ahh, I didn't do nothing wrong," someone behind the two agents spat. A security guard was escorting five people out. They were all drunk, all loudmouthed, and all irritable. Whatever they'd been kicked out for, they weren't happy about it.

The one who had spoken swore. His buddies all swore, too. None of them were really pleasant.

"They seem nice," Shard said lightly.

"Let's just walk a little faster," Elias muttered.

"Hey, look at these two punks," one of the drunk guys said before anyone could do anything. Elias' ears drooped. For Pete's sake. "You two get kicked out too?" they continued jeeringly.

"No," Shard said, accidentally. Crud.

The one who had spoken leered. "Got a smart mouth on you, punk?"

Elias stopped, turned around, and tried to talk his way out. "My friend and I would actually love to just go home without any incident. So, if you wouldn't mind, we'll just be on our way now…"

"Fat chance." The speaker shoved Shard, a little harder than Shard would have liked.

Shard frowned. "Don't do that," he warned him.

"Or what?" The guy did it again.

"Or you'll get one of these-" Shard started to cock back his fist, but Elias caught it and walked him over a few inches.

"Let me handle these guys," Elias whispered. "If they see through your disguise-"

"It's dark out, they won't see a thing-"

"-it's hard to miss a shiny black-and-yellow robot with glowing green eyes-"

"-fair enough."

"Right. They have less of a chance of recognizing me," Elias assured him.

"You two besties done talking? I'm hungry for a fight," the drunk complained. His buddies laughed. "I don't have all day," he continued, aiming a punch at Elias.

Both Elias and Shard dodged, Shard stepping away from the fight. Meanwhile, Elias got a few good hits in on his man.

"Hey, this one's looking for a fight, too!" the guy called. One of his buddies joined the fight, and they both tried to tackle Elias. Elias moved out of the way of one, ramming the other one with his shoulder and kicking him in the head. That guy went down.

"If you want to get home in one piece, you should let us go," Elias warned, while the gang looked at their fallen member. People were starting to officially leave the concert.

"Buddy. Look." Their "leader" was getting condescending. "It's five to one now. I think you should start running."

Shard felt his stomach drop. All five guys converged on Elias. Sure, the guy had handled worse, but if any one of these guys landed a hit, it would do quite a lot of damage. Thinking fast, Shard began to run. About as fast as his robot legs would take him, he carried everyone in the fight over to a less populated part of the city.

Everyone was dazed. A few of the drunk guys just passed out. Shard beaned the others in the head, and watched them pass out, then making sure Elias was okay.

"Shard! Look out, your hood fell!" Elias warned as soon as he realized what happened.

Shard's eyes widened as one of the gang members, not quite out yet, let loose a surprised yelp. "#&$!in freak!" he said before passing out. Two more echoed this thought.

Shard's spirits instantly dropped.

Elias noticed. "Shard, I'm sorry-"

"It's fine." It wasn't fine. "We shouldn't have come, anyway. I knew this would happen."

"What…? Shard, those guys are drunk. Don't pay them any mind," Elias said, trying to console him.

"My first regular people and they call me a freak," Shard mutters, ignoring Elias. "Let's go home."

The journey home was accompanied by a brooding silence.