Why in the hell did I kiss him back? I did exactly what he wanted and I hate myself for even giving into temptation. I ran my hand through wet hair and sat on the edge of the bed.
His mind began to wonder to the first day he met Ibushi. That brought a sad smile to his face. It had been his first time in Japan. He had seen and heard about Ibushi thanks to a friend who showed him clips on the internet and wanted to meet him so he would see if he was the real deal.
I joined DDT in '08, which stood for Dramatic Dream Team, made a video which was posted to YouTube, calling out Ibushi so we could face each other. I orignally thought he wouldn't even bother with a young guy like me. I was in for the shock of my life when I got my answer.
That first meeting was surreal to me. The way his hair fell into his eyes, the shy smile and how I felt like I was in the presence of greatness. The company had us face each other at first and then soon realized there was chemistry there. I had no idea the whirlwind we were both about to experience.
We eventually became a tag team called the Golden Lovers, winning our first tag championship gold together. The people loved us wherever we went. We created so much buzz, it was unreal. DDT really let me express myself and be the man I would eventually become.
During the early years of my wrestling career, I was unsure of my place in the world. Being so young I was unsure of a lot of things. I was so focused on my career that I didn't have time for relationships. I felt like it would distract me from my ultimate goal of being a pro wrestler.
Kota changed all that. It happened slowly and took me off guard. I never saw it as loving another man, I saw it as loving another human being. Someone who understood me in ways that almost brought tears to my eyes, someone I could lean on when I needed to.
There have always been rumors about our kayfabe relationship outside the ring. We didn't care what anyone thought. Yes we would hold hands in public and maybe steal a kiss or two. I loved him with all that I had. The beginning was something beyond words. I almost don't want to remember. It makes my heart and soul ache.
Moments that mean the most to me were the ones that the public didn't see. The times when we were alone, away from the cameras. I would be in his arms, looking into his eyes. He would stroke my face with his fingers, smiling as I would close my eyes and smile back.
He would kiss me and steal my breath away. We would...Jesus I almost blush at the thought. His touch, his body against mine. Soft whimpers escaping my lips as he would kiss my chest. His soft gasps as I kissed his neck and chest. Lying in a tangle of sheets afterwards, still connected in a way that goes beyond words.
I still remember the first time he kissed me. I remember being speechless and could barely look at him after that. That was before I knew and understood what we had or would have I should say.
I look at the clock and realize how late it is. Jesus I have a flight to catch back to home in a few hours. These few days off is what I need to clear my mind and maybe rid myself of these memories. Jesus I need some sleep. I lie on top of the covers and slowly close my eyes. A tear slides down the side of my face as I drift off into a memory filled sleep.