Author's notes: Took my time with this one, but I didn't do a lot of rewriting with it, I was pretty happy with the first draft. Again, it's lengthy.
Edit as of June 2014: Reworked quite a bit of the first half, left the second half mostly as it was except for a few word replacements.
My back hurts, like my muscles are sore. How much was I tossing and turning last night? ... Judging by the fact that it's not windy and that I'm underneath warm covers, I'd say I'm in my dorm. Ugh. Normally, I'd lie awake in bed for some hours, but I feel as though I've gotten enough sleep. I sit up and rub my eyes. Plushies roll off my bed and plop on the floor.
This is so weird.
"Holy crap, Shanz. You're finally waking up, I thought you might be in a coma." That's Nin, as usual. I can't really see her, I'm still rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Wow, the sandman really laid it on heavy, didn't he? I finally crack open my eyelids, and yawn. I shouldn't be sleepy, I got enough, or so I feel. There's Ninny, she's sitting in her chair, and it looks like she's playing some game, can't be bothered to identify it right now, on her computer. Sims maybe? I glance at the clock, and it's right at seven AM.
"Well, aren't you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed," I yawn again. "I thought you normally liked to sleep in." Ninny has the craziest sleep schedule. I'm not even kidding– she goes to bed at like six in the morning and wakes up at three in the afternoon. She's not far from being nocturnal. Well, okay, I admit, the insane sleep schedule only happens on weekends or days when we don't have school. She gets up at normal times otherwise. Today's, what… Maybe Wednesday? She has class today, that I remember. Yeah. Wednesday. I have class, too.
She rubs her eyes, but doesn't pause her game. Uh, isn't she tired? "This is coming from the woman who just slept for twelve hours straight. I was worried about you, Shanzy, the norm is nine hours."
"You mean you weren't worried back when I was barely eking out seven hours of sleep? Damn, Nin. It takes oversleeping to get your attention?" This is said jokingly. Nin's got anxiety like I do, but unlike me, her parents never got her treated for it. I've actually had to share what resources I can to help her out. So, since she has anxiety, naturally she'd be worried the whole time.
Actually, my anxiety hadn't been that bad lately up until I collapsed last night. Last time I froze up like that I had indigestion so bad it was painful, and I was terrified for my appendix. It always happens at night, when I'm asleep. It wakes me. I shudder at that thought.
She closes her game. "It's a sharp change..." Here a yawn interrupts her. "I have to get ready for class." There's a squeak of wheels as she stands, pushing her spinny chair back, then pushing it into the desk with her hands. I also get up; I'm pretty sure I have class, too, but only for a couple of hours. Then, I can go back to drawing... Or I can just eat breakfast.
"I had the weirdest dream last night." I check my outfit and note that I'm still wearing the same clothes I dressed in yesterday and not my nightshirt. I shed my coat and dig around my clothes-pile for a clean pair of pants and a clean shirt. I just wore the light green ensemble… And the boots… Gonna wear shoes today, so no skinny jeans. "I had a dream that I was in Ylisse, of all places, and the prologue was going on." I yank my old shirt off over my head and pick up a blue shirt with, well, the brand of the exalt on it. Appropriate.
"Isn't that the part where you kill Chrom," she yawns as she prepares her coursework. It's been a while since she last played, though she did beat the game.
I pull the blue shirt over my head, it's way too big for me and I can't do anything about that, and while doing so wondering about my hairbrush. "No, it's when you first meet him. You kill him in the premonition." Where'd I put my pants? Oh, there they are. I'd better find my belt, too, these pants are way too big for me. The joys of being petite. "But like I said, I was in the prologue, helping Chrom and buddies dispatch some bandits. Well, actually, first I was in that town that crap was happening in, for what felt like quite a few hours, then the whole shitfest happened. It was kinda fun, I got to steal food and stuff. But it was also terrifying, being on my own in the middle of nowhere. See, I didn't know where I was until I saw Chrom."
She chuckles. "You must have played that game a thousand times, and it took you several hours to figure out where you were?" I see that playful smirk on her face, and for the sake of her (admittedly frail) self-confidence, I refrain from my usual witty retort.
… I'm too out of it to put up with this. "It's not like games tend to give accurate portrayals of places. I was in some town constructed of mud bricks for a while before I encountered canals and stone bricks and the nice stuff in the game. I could've been anywhere, in just about any game I've played or heard of– it could've been a goddamn Skyrim mod with a train instead of a dragon– so don't tease me."
Nin frowns. "I was joking."
I sigh. So I'd figured. However, I have, ironically, a low tolerance for jokes, particularly when– "I'm tired." Yeah. When I'm not, I'm much happier to go along with silliness. Heck, I even make it up myself. What I normally do is make my life as amusing as possible, because otherwise it gets boring. People call me childish, frankly I don't care if I am. I get my stuff done, that's what matters. I put my coat back on, having donned the rest of my outfit.
Nin vaguely gestures to the cluster-fudge of trinkets and knick-knacks covering the homework on my desk. "I'm pretty sure you have class soon, too, so you'd better get ready. I was afraid you'd sleep through it."
I yawn yet again, god damn I can't seem to stop. Come on, Nin. I messed with my schedule so I have no morning classes, I normally sleep in. "Not for a bit, no… Scripting's in the evening, Creative Writing's a Tuesday-Thursday class." As is 2D Design.
Okay, I'll admit it, I'm shit at school, so I'm presently making up classes I failed before and trying to take stuff easy. I'm working on it! I'm actually writing things and messing around in Python. Getting better at this. Please, please, I hope my stuff's good. I don't want to get kicked out.
Nin shrugs at me and continues preparing her backpack.
I lie back in bed and grab my 3DS, then switch the game out. Honestly, I'm a bit too creeped out to play Fire Emblem right now. Let's settle for Pokemon! That's much less… like my dreams.
… Well, uh. It's afternoon, and I'm coming down with the yawns again… I look at the clock. One… only one? Feels like evening… Better… close the 3DS and plug it in…
Fuck, if I'm gonna nap, I'm gonna wrap myself around a plush and get comfy. Hello, my squishies.
Where are my squishies? Why is it so cold? It's also dark… I didn't have the energy to turn the light off, though. Am I dreaming that freaking dream again? Let's open my eyes and find out.
I'm greeted by a royal blue sky, dotted with stars and frames with hundreds of little leaves, black against the dim starlight. I'd like to think it's a star party. I don't recognize any of these stars; I can't find Orion's Belt or the Big Dipper.
Wind brushes by. Right! It's cold! I turn over onto my side– oh thank god, a fire, a fire. Warmth! I cuddle close to it and shove my arms up the opposite sleeves. … Who's there? I see someone through the fire. Fine, I'll sit up.
… Chrom.
Seeing him feels like a brick to the face. I'm not sure why. It's just… He's… there. He wasn't real, but now he is.
… There has got to be some kind of catch to this.
A snore distracts me. Lissa? Robin, Frederick… They're here too. … Here. In this… forest. There are a whole bunch of other trees, we're just in a small clearing. I'm… here. There and here. There in Ylisse, here in Ylisse.
A voice joins the crackles of the fading fire. "You're awake." Chrom. Again. "There's some leftover dinner if you're hungry." He nods his head towards a stick rising straight out of the ground, some meat impaled on it.
You know what? I am hungry. I start to nibble at it– trying not to ingest too much of the taste, it's… Eugh. It tastes horrible. Lissa was right. … Well, might also be that my stomach can be delicate sometimes.
I lower the stick once the taste's killed my appetite. "Thank you for helping me." I scrutinize his face after saying that. It doesn't change, he continues looking at me in this… businesslike manner. Like, I'm one of the sheep he's taking care of. Neither fond of me nor does he dislike me. Neutral.
He sighs. "If you paid attention while I argued with Frederick, you know what I'm about to say. You helped us. It's only fair that we help you." Nod, automatically. I suppose he's right, but I still have to thank him for his kindness.
I tilt my head slightly. How to go about doing so? It took me a while to understand talking to people. I do it well, now, but only because I carefully pick my words. (It's gotten subconscious, even.) "I still feel grateful to you. You might not realize it, but you're actually guiding me when before, I was lost."
Chrom tilts his head as well, mirroring my gesture, before breaking his straight face with a sigh and smile. "You're welcome, then." Thank you! That's what I was looking for. I smile back at him, mentally giving him a thumbs-up.
But the cheer fades as an ill silence falls. There are no bugs, birds, there's not even wind to stir the leaves in the trees. Nothing in the trees but wood and leaves… The only sound there is to hear is Chrom hastily moving to his feet, having noticed what I have. The noisy shuffle wakes Lissa, who stirs and stands, moaning in annoyance from having been disturbed. "Is something wrong, big brother?"
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you, but..." I carefully watch Chrom. He looks at Lissa just long enough to affirm she's not overly worried, then resumed scanning his surroundings.
"Perhaps," and this is me talking, very gingerly, "you ought to take a look around, just in case." Betraying my own statement, I slowly lie back down. I know what's going to happen. I think. I need to find an opportunity to crack open my 3DS and replay this game, it's high time I reviewed the script. On the other hand, that might be a double-edged sword... Welp, there's me, worrying about everything.
Lissa runs up to her brother and clings to his bare arm. "I'm going with you! No matter what, okay? No protesting!" Now where was that line from? It must be really obscure if I can't remember it. But I know it's a line from something I read, I just can't figure out what.
Chrom lightly pats her head. "All right, Lissa. But stay close. I want to make sure nothing happens to you." Awww. I wish my siblings actually gave a crap for me. The two of them walk off into the woods, leaving me with an asleep Robin and Frederick.
Shanzira, this is no time for funny business, don't even think about it. You know what's about to happen, or at least, you think so.
Even so, the thought of messing with Frederick is tempting... No, no. That's a sure way to get kicked out. I could have plenty of opportunities later. But will I? Huh. This is hard. Do I play it safe, or do I live life to the fullest?
... I always hated everyone who said "YOLO". You only live TWICE, dimwits! I sit up but make no further movement. Despite the short time I've been awake, drowsiness has already fled from my body, probably due to anticipation.
The ground heaves and quivers as though the planet itself is shivering, and I see a rip in the earth vomit up a wall of flame and lava. Beside me, I hear the sounds of armor clinking and fabric rustling as Frederick and Robin hurriedly scramble to their feet. I turn around too late to see something glorious, something I wish I'd filmed– because I see Frederick plucking his face from the ground and brushing off dirt.
I'm so sad I missed that! It could've been priceless. Actually, it's very amusing in general to watch two people scramble about frantically while I serenely sit here and–
COUGH COUGH! Oh gods, that's smoke, it smells terrible, and I'm going to have breathing issues. Damn. I forgot, lava means fire and fire means smoke. Shit. I stand up just as the ground ceases its angry trembling.
"What are you grinning about?!" Robin squawks at me. I'm grinning? Fuck. Well, better justify it.
"Well, you two are stumbling around and pratfalling and I'm just calmly sitting here, not falling over. Well, okay, standing. Do you even know how funny that–" DAMN IT, SMOKE! I'm interrupted by a fit of coughs. Did I inherit my mother's lung problems or something? Ugh. I thought bronchitis wasn't really contagious.
Ain't nobody got time for that!
Okay, old internet memes aside, seriously, we got shit to do. "Chrom and Lissa went that way." Point. "Let's go." Where's my spear? Aw, shit. I twist around, casting my eyes everywhere looking for it. Can't get into a fight without a weapon at the ready. Where is where is where is– Oh, thank you, Frederick.
"Milady seems to be wondering about her arms. You dropped this when you fell asleep." How kind of him to explain. Now can I have my lance back, or are you going to hold it out of my reach forever? Augh, I wish I could tell him we're about to get into a fight. "However, I would withhold this until further notice, which is to say–"
"Until Chrom says so," I interject. This is pissing me off. "That's pretty low, stealing my only weapon off me while I'm asleep? Aw, you know what, forget it. Let's get going."
"Yes, let's." That was Robin, and I think she also just yawned. "There's no point in standing here arguing." And on a rather low note, we run in the direction I'd pointed about a minute ago.
Frederick and Robin are easily outpacing me, and I'm already out of breath. How? How am I so out of shape? I'm a trooper in a renaissance guild! This is humiliating! Damn, keep running! The last thing I want to do is fall behind and get ambushed. Pick up the pace, hurry!
"Milord! Milady! Are you all right?" I hear Frederick shouting ahead of me. Almost there! Just a bit further!
Yes! Okay! Clearing! Grotesque sight of trees here and there on fire, sparks floating around, the undead not too far ahead. Oh yeah, let's not forget the WALL OF LAVA?!
I stop quickly beside Robin, bend over, and pant. My legs are already weak from just that little bit of running, and I'm having trouble holding my normally fantastic balance. But as long as nothing disturbs me, I should be oka–
Cough, cough, cough! DAMN THIS SMOKE! Almost dramatically, my side meets the ground as my balance is thrown off entirely by the convulsions of my lungs. I'm already exhausted enough, and now my practically nonexistent core muscles have to tire themselves out as well! Ugh... Okay, just lie here and recover. I should be okay soon. Should be.
Robin's voice comes not as a comfort, but as an alarm. "Shanzira, get up! Enemy incoming, four of them!" Shit! With difficulty, I stand, but I'm trembling and weak. One blow would down me in my current state, and I can't say I have the agility right now to dodge much.
"Robin... If they get in two hits on me, I'm dead," I gasp between breaths. "One to knock me down, one to finish me. Bear this in mind." I cough again, but only once. I hope she can handle the handicap.
She nods, and her tone adopts the urgency of a tactician giving orders. "Frederick, give her her lance back, we need every able fighter we have. Lissa, stay close to Shanzira and heal her if necessary, and Shanzira, if you can, keep Lissa safe. Frederick, Chrom, you two will fight at the fore, since your defenses can take abuse much better than the rest of us. As for me, I will strike from behind you two."
I cough and turn to the tactician. "That's spreading our defenses awful thin. Shouldn't–" And then pain slices through my back, knocking me onto my chest. I manage to stop myself from screaming in pain, but only barely. I shut my eyes tight and wince as Lissa pulls out whatever lodged itself in my back. I croak out a single word: "One." I don't even have the energy to scratch at my back as the still–foreign itch of wounds being healed torments me. Even though my heart's pounding hard, what with adrenaline and anxiety and everything, I can't summon the energy to stand again. I'm too tired from running. Damn it. Wait just a second, Robin, I'll get up in a minute.
Her orders change, but I hear a strange note in her voice. "Frederick, in the center, Chrom, on the left, I'll be on the right. Lissa, stay close to Frederick." I guess she decided it was a baaaad idea to give me protection detail. Good. At least our defenses ought to be a bit stouter. I feel safer, if only slightly.
I spend the next minute or so trying to ignore the grunts, squeaks, and hissing of battle with Risen. They make an eerie sound; the game, I think, couldn't really do them justice. It's really high-pitched, like the E string on a violin or nails on a chalkboard. It sends shivers down my spine. In time, however, I feel strong enough to stand, thus I do so.
"What'd I miss?" I grumble. Robin's pushed the line of defense forward a little bit, seemingly abandoning me. What the hell? So nobody was close enough to hear me talk. Wonderful. I raise my spear, take a few deep breaths, and charge in by Robin's side, impaling a sword-wielding Risen which was distracted by her.
She looks quite shocked to see me up. "Wha– How did– I thought– I thought that strike killed you! Not that I'm complaining, but don't scare me like that next time!" She flips a few pages in her tome and sends a Thunder spell out, intending to hit a Risen in the distance but completely missing and instead lighting a tree on fire.
"You owe me, then, not just for the favor I did you just now, but for leaving me for dead. Didn't you see Lissa heal me? And you just made the forest fire worse, by the way." Wow, her focus is crap right now. What's with her inability to pay attention? I thought she was better at this.
She jumps, yelps, and hops to actually hitting the enemy and not worsening our issues. I scoff, because it would probably be a better idea if I paired up with someone else, since I'm apparently such a distraction. On light toe-tips, I prance over to Chrom, spear in both hands behind my back. "Mind if I fight with you, Boss? You seem impossible to distract."
He nods his head at me slightly and slices an axe-Risen... Axeman? Or was axe-Risen right?– clean in half horizontally. (Holy shit, man, his swing.) "Go ahead, I feel safer with an ally at my side." I smile brightly. Good, I love encouragement. But if I just let him take the reins, he'll do all the work and I'll get no experience. On the other hand, I can't really do much to help. Hm. Or perhaps I could pair up with Frederick and use him as a stat booster while I mow every do–
This is not the game, Shanz, stop thinking like it. This is reality.
... Okay, that's hard to admit to myself and I can't believe I just did. This is real. I'm not dreaming. I'm actually living in two worlds at once.
Freaky.
"Are you going to pay attention or not?!" Chrom shouts at me, shaking me out of my reverie. I stand petrified, a little shaken from being yelled at, especially by him. "You nearly just died for the second time tonight! Let's hope there's no third time, all right?"
I raise a hand in a sloppy yet stiff salute, quite reasonably intimidated. "U-understood, sir!" Then I lower my hand and bring it back to the haft of this crappy bronze spear, and drive it into the nearest Risen... Which apparently isn't dead yet.
Fucker. My spear is stuck, and this guy is glaring right at me. Okay, I'm scared now. Help? "HELP!" I take a sword to the right side, and I wince and fall as pain burns quite an area in my side like wildfire. More of my own blood spills onto the ground, and I scream in pain because I just landed on my goddamn wound. I really hope my appendix didn't get hit– that's been a fear of mine for years, of my appendix bursting on me. I can just barely see a blue blur– which I'm pretty sure is Chrom– vertically bifurcate the offending Risen, and there's a beige-ish-yellow blur which clarifies into the image of Lissa, with her staff at the ready.
How long have I been asleep? I'm probably going to wake from my nap soon. Oh, shit, this would be a bad time to fall asleep, wouldn't it? Stay awake, Shanz. Stay awake. Oh gods, there's that godawful NASTY itch of wounds being healed, I mustn't scratch it, aaaaaahhhhh– oh good it's gone. Roll your pathetic torso over and get on your feet, Shanz. I stand. "Thank you, Lissa. I owe you my life two times now." This comes out as a rough groan.
She smiles at me, obviously happy I'm okay. "Don't let them hit you again, okay?"
... That was surprisingly blunt. I'd normally expect that kind of rudeness out of Chrom. Well, surprise, surprise.
This interlude in interrupted by Robin's command voice. "We have them almost routed! All units, in a line! Lissa, Virion, stand behind the line of defense and do your jobs! Frederick, Chrom, Sully, Shanzira, with me and CHAAARGE!"
Shit, shit, shit I only have so much time to move and "AAAGGGHHHH I'M RUNNING AND I'M PRETTY SURE I'M GOING TO GET KILLED! GOD HELP ME I'M ABOUT TO DIE! DIE, MONSTER!" (I just got one in the neck, an actual kill shot.) "TAKE THAT!" (Spear to the knee; it's on the ground and Frederick just finished it by impaling it, ouch.) "AND THAT!" (And that blow was in the crotch... Chrom just winced at he decapitated the poor sucker.) "AND A SPECIAL SIDE OF THIS!" (Talk about flashy moves; that was me twirling around and whacking a Risen over the head with the haft of the spear. Natch, it's not dead or even downed, but at least it was stunned momentarily so Chrom could finish it.) "EAT SHIT, SUCKERS!"
CLANG. Welp, my spear just clashed against an axe. Fuck. Uh, a little help here? Unless I can turn it around? Jump back, it trips at the sudden lack of resistance, and I stab it in the neck. Finished! I must've gained like two levels in this chapter– STOP IT, SHANZIRA. And I think that's the "Chief" over there, because he's the buffest-looking one. I poke Chrom and point at it.
"Shanzira, heads up! He's heading straight for you!"
Wait, he is? Oh... Fuck. He is. I'm the weakest. Shit. And that's a hand axe... Wait, is that the one who hit me at the beginning of the battle and knocked me down? ... I think it is! Well, time to die, you little sap! Let's show off my awesome hand-eye coordination, honed with sixteen years of art and video games, bitch!
With my spear, I deflect the thrown axe (it spins off to the side and sticks in the ground,) then rush in at it and impale his foot. I leave my spear stuck there and I jump back, figuring someone else can finish it off. Robin's the one who does so, finishing it off with a good zap of Thunder. I step forward and pull my spear free of the now-unsullied earth.
And that is how I train under-leveled units, ladies and gentlemen. I use them to finish off the enemies I weaken using the stronger units, and suddenly they're not so weak because they just gained like four levels in one chapter. My Donnel was always a badass because of this. I think. I'd have to crack open my 3DS to be sure.
"It would appear we have destroyed them all, milord," I hear Frederick say to Chrom. "Those which would have escaped were slain by this man." Turn around, Shanz, that's Lucina-I-mean-Marth. Marth is the name I meant to say. Yeah. Marth. I didn't speak any spoilers, hush. Is there any blood on my spear? ... No? I guess Risen don't leave any behind. Convenient. So I wonder who Marth's-I-mean-Lucina's mother will be in this. Probably Robin. Yeah. Shut up, it's really shippable– fine, it's my OTP. And uh, sorry for the Chromia shippers, I'm not too fond of it, it was way better in the Japanese version where she was a pillar of hidden strength. On the other hand, Olivia's really sweet with Chrom, even if she is a little useless. Makes for a fucking overpowered Lucina. (Level ten, freshly recruited, and I could run off to the Ruins of Time and she would one-round a Griffon Rider. Yeah. That is the power of an Olivia-mothered Lucina.)
"You may call me Marth." Oh, it appears I missed some of the conversation because I was thinking so much. The sound of Lucina's-I-mean-Marth's voice brings me back to reality, and I start paying attention again, there's something I wanna do before Marth leaves.
Chrom's voice is thick with curiosity and admiration. "After the Hero-King? Well, you certainly fight like a hero. Where did you learn your way with the sword?" Oh, man, this. Haha, this is funny. There's so much delicious irony in this, I'm trying not to laugh. I mean, it was Chrom who taught Marth-I-mean-Lucina how to fight, and he doesn't seem to recognize the fighting style yet. I think Robin and I aren't the only ones who weren't paying attention the whole time!
"I'm not here to talk about me," she-I-mean-he growls with some irritation. "This world teeters on the brink of destruction. What you saw tonight was but a prelude. You have been warned." He turns on his heel to walk away, but he doesn't get far– I run up and hug him tightly around the shoulders. He freezes up in panic: "Get off!"
"You still helped us, so you deserve a hug, okay?" I squeeze even harder. Yes, I really am this affectionate with my friends. Since we only get to see Marth sparingly before we recruit Lucina– which is two whole years from now– I figure it wouldn't hurt to embarrass her slightly. Besides, she'll forget this by then. People always do. And I normally tend to blend into the background Kellam-style, though not as skillfully. Lucina will definitely forget I even exist by then.
I'm just a self-insert, so to speak, after all. I might not even live to see that day.
"Ma'am?!" Marth is released as I slump to the ground, my hour-long nap being up. "Wake up!" I suppose it's back to school for a few hours.
So what'd y'all think? Please leave a review. Next chapter will be released as soon as I finish writing it. Might take a while. It'll probably be done over the weekend, though, I'll have nothing else to do (other than revel in my glorious coat because it'll be finished by then, eeee.)