Sparkling…vampires? What the hell was this?
The girl looked at the (sparkling) vampire with a love struck expression. How the fuck did she not realize that he was a …mother-fucking…vampire…who…sparkled?
I've really got to stop thinking about the sparkles.
Where was I? Oh yeah. The girl was staring at the vampire with a love struck expression. Well, at least I thought it was love struck. To be honest, her face looked pretty damn emotionless.
Seras tugged at my sleeve.
"Master, are you okay? You've been zoned out and staring at that guy for the past five minutes."
I shook my head rapidly, to clear it. but seriously, what the fuck?
"You're not going gay on me, are you, Master?"
I shook my head again. Straight. I am straight. Ultra masculine manly man. I may have become a woman temporarily fifty years ago, but I wasn't fucking gay.
Unlike Baron von Sparklelord in front of us, who in all honesty looked gayer than a Maypole.
"What are you doing here?"
Oh, great, so Captain Glitter noticed us, did he?
I put my hands in the air and walked out from behind the tree, a gesture of my (albeit fake) goodwill.
"My name is Alucard. I am a servant of the Hellsing organization," I said plainly. "I'm here to investigate a clan of vampires that is said to live here. You're one of them?"
A nod from the redhead.
"I'm a vampire, too," I said, deciding that, in this case, honesty was the best way to go.
"But you don't sparkle," the girl said. "You're standing in the sunlight, and you're not sparkling."
"WILL YOU STOP SAYING SPARKLE?" I shouted. "I AM SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF THE WORD SPARKLE!"
The girl hid behind the guy. Her breathing was erratic. She may have been scared, she may have been turned on. Again, it was impossible to tell.
"Well…you don't," she said meekly.
"Funny you should say that, seeing as glitter boy here doesn't even have fangs," I pointed out. Seras giggled behind her hands. Even she had fangs, and she was the girliest vampire I knew.
"I need to meet and speak with the rest of your clan," I said. "And I'll need to know your name."
"My name is Edward. Edward Cullen."
"And the girl?"
"Her name is Bella Swan."
Bella. Beautiful.
Beautiful swan, huh? Well, I suppose she was pretty, though it was hard to tell with Mr. Rockefeller Christmas Tree in the way.
"Just take me to your clan," I growled. "And be snappy about it, I don't have all eternity."
I thought about that.
"Well…I do, but I don't wanna spend it with you."
Seras laughed again. One thing I like about her: she doesn't talk much.
And she doesn't fucking SPARKLE!
~^.^~
Alright, enough with the sparkles. Please review!