Chapter 2 Like a Flower

He looked…speechless. But that was also the problem. It seems he really was speechless.

"A-Alex? Are you ok?"

Blinking he must have realized that she was waiting for his reaction. "Isabel, I'd be honored – but I don't want you to feel that you have to do this. I'm happy, so happy, that you love me and I don't want to push you into this."

During his words she had been holding her breath and now she expelled all her fears from her lungs "I'm not. Alex, I want to share this with you. I want you to know me like no one else has. This isn't out of some looming need; there's no crisis, just you… and me." Before he could interrupt her she forced out the rest quickly "and you don't even have to show me anything, I wouldn't betray your privacy, it can just be one-way. I just…wanted to share it with you."

The last words were whispered as she saw his eyes change to an expression of awe. This was her Alex, the one who would do anything for her, the one who wasn't afraid to love her, the one who had left and hadn't returned fully …until now.

She could feel her tears filling as she saw the mirroring gleam in his own eyes. Her Alex gave her the sweetest smile – a full sunrise which she'd only seen shadows of previously. "Yes, Isabel. Please show me," he drew her close halfway with her elbows and met her halfway again and she mirrored his actions. Leaning down he brought his forehead to hers causing her to close her eyes in safety and whispered to her "I want you to see me too."

"Are you sure… a-about both? I don't know if it will even work or if I can control it and you might not like what you see and I don't know if I will be able to control what I see from you either."

"That's ok on both accounts." She could hear the smile in his voice and feel the change of facial expressions from being so close to him. "Why don't we try one at a time?"

She barely nodded against him. Then taking a deep breath she drew a bit away and tentatively slid her hands up his arms and shoulders to cradle his face in both of her hands and looked directly in his eyes which too had opened to meet hers. His hands had come around her waist to steady her.

Before when she had kissed him on his doorstep in desperation she'd been afraid but determined. But now she felt at peace, because this is what she wanted for herself, because this was her wanting to give instead of get. There was no pressure of an outcome except the sharing itself so Isabel hoped it would work better this time.

She thought back to where she wanted to start and evened her breathing as she gazed up at the man she loved. Then she tried picturing a box opening to release her inner thoughts, memories and feelings.

Before what had felt like an impenetrable barrier was now soft and light like a curtain of feathers that she easily passed through; she reached out to him with her mind …and her heart. Something in him startled and he tried to pull back minutely but the connection had already been made and it seems once he recognized it was her he began to relax.

Was that a normal response? Max and Liz had done this before and he never mentioned that but the connection seemed to strengthen and as it took hold it seemed to have a will of its own.

Before she realized it her thoughts we flowing and by his gasp she knew he was seeing what she was thinking: coming out of the pod with Max, the wide New Mexico sky pierced with starlight, holding hands and walking down the road on that chilly night, the headlights that cut through the darkness – the brightest thing she'd ever seen – and the first people she'd ever seen: the kind faces of her mother and father, the Evans. A coat thrown around her and another around Max, the days of Child Protective Services, the orphanage, Philip and Diane Evans visits and the paperwork.

Coming to a house and living there, finally it becoming home, going to school, and somehow knowing that she and Max were different. Scared and alone, finding Michael in the cafeteria and knowing that he was the same. Hanging out the three of them where they could be themselves and never letting anyone into their inner circle. Being snubbed at school and then snubbing in turn. Hiding behind fashion magazine trends and using alien powers to adjust her wardrobe and constantly paranoid that someone would see through her farce of perfection.

Her panic at hearing about Max healing Liz and then the Sheriff following them, Max's crazy behavior when it came to Liz, Michael flying off the handle, dreamwalking Maria, dreamwalking him – seeing them dance in his dream – the feeling of awe that dancing with her was his dream –, meeting him at the soap factory and what she had actually been thinking and feeling, her words to Max in the jeep.

The images came faster and faster until she could almost only catch bits and pieces as they subconsciously linked together to form a picture of her life. Tess's arrival, Max kidnapped, the granolith, the recording of her real mother, the weight of destiny, Whittaker's attack, Vilandra's betrayal, Nicholas, the Duplicates.

Images kept flowing but somehow they felt sluggish through the connection and it seemed to take a great deal of effort to send them to him. Finally it came to the months when Alex was gone and how much she had missed him and how she didn't let anyone see her cry when she heard how he'd contacted Maria or Liz and not her.

Most importantly: how she saw Alex, that she loved unbuttoning that top button, that she liked his longer hair; how she noticed how good he was as they grew up, and in the short time they'd been friends how happy she was to see him, how safe and loved she felt, how his face had become dear to her, how afraid she was of ruining their friendship or having to leave someone behind; how she had been torn in two between building a life here and leaving to save a planet. And how she felt in the last few days, asking him to ask her to prom, her fear and courage for kissing him on the dance floor, her jubilation that he returned it and right now feeling so whole that she could share all of this with him.