HI! So here's the next chap. Again, all mistakes are mine, this isn't beta'ed. I still don't have a scheduled planned, I'll post when chaps are ready. So, that's about it. I hope you like. Enjoy! Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just like playing around in the world she created. No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 2

Somewhere in an apartment across town…

"That's it. That douchebag has got to move the fuck out," Edward informs his two roommates as he slams a plate into the dishwasher.

Jasper and Emmett sit at the breakfast bar watching their friend take out his frustration on their not so fine china.

"What did the asshat do this time?" Jasper asks knowing he's probably just opened up a can of worms he had no intention of opening.

"What didn't he do, that's the more appropriate question and a little easier to answer. But to answer your question, he fucking…he fucking…" Edward couldn't find the exact words or how to truly explain what Mike had done and he knew there wasn't enough bleach in the world to fix it. A cold shiver rips up his spine.

"That bad?" Emmett interjects.

Edward's blazing eyes turn on Emmett, who puts his hands up defensively. "Whoa, there Eddie, don't look at me like that. I just asked a simple question."

"More like a stupid question when it comes to our clueless roommate. I agree with Edward, he has to go," Jasper defends.

"Yeah, he's definitely gotta move out. I don't think I can take any more of his antics or that mouth of his. Everything he says is derogatory or inappropriate or both. And if he 'borrows' one more thing from me I am not going to be responsible for my actions. And a jury of my peers would find me innocent is all I'm saying," Edward says adding soap to the dishwasher.

Emmett claps his hands together. "So, who's it gonna be? Who's gonna be the one to sit ole' Mikey down and let him know it's time to hit the road?"

"Not it!" Jasper and Edward yell out in unison.

"Fuck. Fine, I'll do it. But you two dipshits are gonna be my backup. You know I have a habit of fucking things up with my big mouth." Emmett points to Edward and Jasper with a stern eye.

Jasper and Edward look at each other and shrug. "You know he's right. He's likely to say something stupid and next thing you know one of us will be rooming with Mike for the rest of our life," Jasper comments.

"Like when we sent him to the grocery store and told him not to buy anymore Girl Scout cookies and then he came home with four cases of them. He just couldn't say no," Edward recalls.

"Or like the time back in college right before graduation when he wanted to cancel his gym membership because we would be moving too far away to commute to it and he came back to the dorm having signed up for another year," Jasper adds.

"How about the time he went to break up with Kate and ended up not only staying with her but ended up going on a cruise with and her entire family," Edward adds.

"Or what about…" Jasper begins.

"All right, all right. I get it. No need to bring all that shit up and more. The past is the past. Move on people." Emmett gives his two friends that look that says I will kick your asses if you say anymore.

Jasper and Edward get the hint and simply nod their understanding.

"So, when are we going to do this?" Jasper asks.

"The sooner the better," Edward says turning on the dishwasher.

"Is the turd home?" Emmett questions not having seen Mike all day.

Before anyone can answer, the door to the apartment opens. "What's up bitches? Anyone up for getting their dicks wet tonight cause I'm ready to paaartaaay," Mike announces with a plain brown paper bag in his hand that he's holding up like he's found the golden ticket.

Edward rolls his eyes and restrains himself from saying something he really shouldn't.

"I've got VIP passes to the Golden Pussy. I am so gonna score tonight. The girls there…well…let's just say they are very accommodating if you get my drift," Mike continues suggestively wagging his eyebrows.

Emmett walks over to an unsuspecting Mike and puts an arm around him. "As titillating as that sounds, Mikey, we need to have a little chat." Emmett moves a very confused looking Mike over to the couch and makes him sit down. Emmett takes a seat on the coffee table in front of him. Mike looks a little nervous. Jasper and Edward suppress the laughter.

"Mikey, Mikey, Mikey, where do I begin?" Emmett asks as Jasper and Edward make their way into the living. After all, they said they would be his back up.

"How about with some naked titties? That's not a bad place to start?" Mike squeaks, his Adam's apple bobbing with nervousness. Having big, muscled, Emmett McCarty sitting you down to have what seems to be a serious talk would make anyone nervous and Mike being Mike knows he has a reason to be. He did accidentally drop Emmett's toothbrush into the toilet and put it back without telling him this morning. He figured what the big guy didn't know wouldn't kill him or himself for that matter. But it looks like the killing might begin the way Emmett is rubbing his hands together and having Jasper and Edward hover behind him. Mike attempts to gulp down the lump in his throat, but it's totally pointless.

"Sooooo, no…um…titties?"

"Sorry, Mikey not tonight. But I have an even better idea. You wanna hear it?"

Here it comes Mike can't help thinking and nods.

"How about you pack up all your shit and move the fuck out? There's no more room at the inn, princess. You need to move out and never look back. Sound good?" Emmett tactfully informs Mike.

"Move out?" As relieved as he feels that Emmett isn't going to question him about his toothbrush, he feels a little blindsided.

"Yep. Move out. Hit the road. Blow this popsicle stand. Move on to greener pastures," Emmett elaborates the only way Emmett can.

"What Emmett means, Mike, is this isn't working out anymore and we had a little talk and the three of us feel you really aren't a fit here and maybe moving out would be best for all concerned," Jasper interjects hopefully being more tactful than his tank of a friend.

Mike looks around at the three of them and notices they are all nodding their heads. "You…you all want the Mikester to move out? All of you?"

"All of us," Edward replies.

"Really?" Mike can't help but ask. He really thought the four of them were a tight unit.

"Really. So, pack up and be out by…I don't know…tomorrow. That would be good," Emmett informs.

"Tomorrow? You want me out by tomorrow?" Mike feels hurt that they want him out so soon. He never thought this was how tonight would go. He thought the four of them would be knee deep in pussy, motorboating their way around the club.

"If that works for you…otherwise…"Jasper starts but Edward immediately elbows him in the ribs.

Jasper gives Edward a "what the fuck" look as he rubs his side. "Tomorrow would really be best, Mike," Edward fixes.

"Well…I guess…I guess I could crash on Crowley's couch until I figure things out. I mean I don't really have that much stuff…If you guys really want me out by tomorrow?" There's hope in Mike's voice—hope that the guys will have pity on him.

"Tomorrow," the three reply in unity.

"Well…then, I guess I'm moving out tomorrow. So, no tittles tonight?"

"I've gotta get to work," Edward replies retreating to his room.

"I'm just gonna hit the gym," Emmett informs also retreating out of the room.

"I'm just…I'm just…gonna…I need to do a shit ton of laundry," Jasper comes up with the only excuse he can.

"Laundry? On a Friday night?" Mike can't believe what he's hearing. He understands Edward needs to get to work; Friday's at After Twilight are really busy, and Emmett is a gym monkey so that's no surprise he is hitting the weights. But Jasper doing laundry on a Friday? That's even odd for him and Mike has always thought out of the four of them Jasper was the oddest.

"Yep, laundry. I, uh, my lady snagging outfit is in the bottom of the hamper and you know that as a red blooded guy the outfit makes the man when it comes to the ladies," Jasper fumbles for a viable excuse.

"Abso-fucking-lutely. Clothes make the man. You could always borrow something of mine. I have a few outfits that kill the ladies, they don't know what hit them," Mike offers.

Jasper has seen what Mike considers "lady killer" outfits and a leisure suit wouldn't be his first choice.

"Thanks, but uh that I couldn't, it would be weird. Besides I go commando and I don't think you want my junk rubbing up against something you wear." Jasper is hoping he is appealing to Mike's perverted germaphobe side.

"Good point. I guess I'll give Crowley and Yorkie a call and see if they are in. Later," Mike walks down the hall his shoulders slumped until he looks at the passes and brown bag in his hand. "Titties here I come."

Jasper, Emmett and Edward give a collective sigh of relief.

"Well, now that my work is done I'm really gonna head over to the gym. These guns aren't going to get bigger all on their own." Emmett flexes his arms and gives each a little kiss.

"While you're busy making out with your arms, should be put an ad out for another roommate?" Jasper inquires.

"Um…let's hold off on that for a bit, maybe we don't need a fourth member of our unit," Edward explains.

Emmett busts out laughing, "Member…unit…ahhhhh, you're killing it tonight Eddie boy."

Edward just glares at Emmett until he hears Jasper trying desperately to hold his own laughter back.

Edward's glare disappears and he's laughing right along with his friends.

"Yeah, maybe we don't need to split the rent four ways. Let's give it a try and see if it works," Jasper finally adds after several attempts at trying to calm down.

The three roommates agree to give living together without a fourth roommate. Edward hopes it can last a long time, but something inside him tells him it probably won't. He's just not that lucky.

Hmmmmm...I wonder how long that will last? Reviews are love. See ya soon! Laters!