That Awkward Moment When: An Inquisitive Shopper
Summary: Robin and Starfire are on grocery duty, but some surprisingly awkward conversations ensue when a certain aisle is found…
Rickety shopping cart wheels rolled sloppily across the tiles of Walmart. Robin was slumped over the cart handle, directing it as his girlfriend squealed happily behind him.
"Oh Robin, the going grocery shopping is quite marvelous!" Starfire said warmly.
"Yep," Robin replied curtly.
It was Robin and Starfire's turn on the chore-list to go grocery shopping. (Obviously it was Robin who wrote the list and chose who went with whom.) Robin, Starfire, and their shopping cart went aisle through aisle, grabbing the listed items. Mustard, tofu, beef patties, more mustard, bandages, cereal, water, etcetera, etcetera.
"Hm. Record time," Robin noted. The two had grabbed the necessities, but training didn't start until 4 later this afternoon. As Robin began directing the cart towards the checkout, Starfire peeped in, "So, Robin, since the training does not commence until later this afternoon, might we perhaps do the leisurely shopping of glass?"
"Window shopping?" Robin inquired. Starfire eagerly nodded. "Sure, but where?" Robin continued.
"Why, here, of course!" Starfire happily squawked. She batted her eyelashes and smiled intently. Robin caved, as it was Starfire, and wheeled the cart back around to go and explore the aisles.
Starfire floated dreamily behind Robin, excitedly looking over the products. The two weaved between aisles, until Starfire's awestruck face became puzzled. Standing in an aisle with shelves stocked with boxes, Starfire poked Robin's shoulder, quickly getting his attention.
"Hm?"
"Robin? What are these?" Starfire questioned. She floated over to the shelf, pulling one of the boxes into her hands. "Con-doms?" she read.
Robin blushed profusely. "Errr. Well, uh," he stuttered.
Starfire examined the box thoroughly, saying as she examined, "It reads 'For Her Pleasure'. I am a female, and pleasure is good, yes? Perhaps these 'condoms' would do me well? I enjoy pleasurable items!"
Robin held his face in his hands, quickly growing heated.
"Robin? What is a 'condom'? What does one do with one of these pleasuring items?"
"Ummm…" Robin stuttered, awkwardly wringing his hands. "Well…"
Starfire inspected other boxes that were also labeled condoms, reading their labels.
"For His Pleasure…perhaps you may enjoy those Robin? Ribbed? Smooth? There are so many different varieties of the condom! This is so exciting," Starfire squealed intently focused on the labels. Starfire swept a bundle of different boxes into her arms, prepared to unload her "finding" into the cart.
"Wait! Star…How about we not get all of those…er any of those," Robin suggested, the blush still evident on his cheeks.
"Why so ever not? It is never bad to get a selection! Especially of such interesting Earthly items!" Starfire gleamed. "What are they used for anyway, Robin?"
"Well…uhm. So…you know how when people…are dating…" he stammered. Starfire nodded in understanding. "They uhm…start getting really close and uhm…"
"We are dating, are we not? We are also quite close, yes?" Starfire wondered.
"Yeah, but when couples get closer…than just uhm kissing…they do stuff. Together. In bed. Yeah…and the guy…wears erm…condoms on his…" Robin continued, gesturing to his pants. "His thing….you know?" By the time Robin had explained his definition of condoms, he was flushed and mortified.
"Oh! Are you speaking of the copulation?" Starfire said eagerly, her new realization exciting her.
Robin's cheeks just grew hotter and redder. "Erm….yeah," he said distantly, eyes looking anywhere but at Starfire.
"Splendid! I do not see why should not purchase some of the condoms! We are a couple who is close, you do not ever know?" she said innocently.
At Starfire's last comment, Robin was speechless.