Author's Two Cents Worth...

Zaztei: Hiya and welcome to the first edition of the bloopers! Whoo! Hee, not much to say except that all the bloopers start out with a sentence or two of the actual story just to jog your memory of where the event takes place. Then things go wrong! Dun Dun DUNNNN!!! Bloopers are also in order of the events that take place in the story. Hope ya enjoy!

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Take One Bloopers -Clack-

With pursed lips, she held her one shoe that she already had by the front in a throwing position. After a quick moment of her mentally weighing the shoe and judging the distance and the angle of her shoe on the fixture, she flung her first shoe up at it. The first shoe sailed though the air, though much to Catherine's sheer horror, the shoe quickly lost its altitude and it plummeted right into the middle of the glass fixture; the thrown shoe now stuck in the middle. A deafening crack tore though the air as the glass shattered, causing Catherine to cringe. There was a brief moment of silence and Catherine let out a sigh of relief that the whole thing was over. However, as soon as she turned away from the fixture, another crack tore though the air and this time the whole fixture crashed to the ground; hundreds of broken glass shards flying away from it on the impact. The last thing that hit the ground were her two shoes, a nd they landed gracefully with just a little 'thunk'.

Off in the distance, Duo was heard laughing his ass off, though Catherine just bit her lower lip and she turned to face the director. Laughing nervously she brought a hand up and she tucked some of her loose hair behind one ear. "Sorry."

The director just sighed, though it was obvious that she was trying not to smile. "Cut!"

Shaking her head, she turned around and left the house; closing the door behind her. It wasn't even two seconds after she left however, that there was a knock on the door. Catherine's muffled voice was heard from the other side. "Help! My dress is caught in the door!" The door then rattled a few times as Catherine tried to pull it out. Finally, Trowa ran over to the door and he opened it. Catherine's dress slid free of the door and laughing, she held her hands up in an innocent gesture. "Sorry!"

The director shook her head sadly, though she said nothing, for the same thing had happened to her many a time. "Cut! Now let's try it again."

It was Zechs and off to one side was Treize. Both of them seemed really nervous about something and they kept on looking over their shoulders every few seconds as if they expected something to jump out of a random bush or tree to maul them.

For a moment, Trowa said nothing and he just stared at the two of them. "What brings you two here?"

Zechs shot another nervous glance over one of his shoulders before he spoke. "Fan girls...they found out where we live." A tiny sound came from a bush causing Zechs to spin around to face it; his long blond hair trailing behind him and whipping Treize in the face as it passed. The bush rustled one more time and there was a sound of some twigs snapping. Just as Zechs was leaning foreword to see what was going on a rabid fan girl with short red hair leaped out of the bush and tackled Zechs into a death-grip glomp.

The fan girl then squeed so loud that Treize had to reach up and cover his ears. The fan girl then began to snuggle Zechs. "Oh my gawd! It really is Zechs! YAY!"

Zechs too began to scream, though his were desperate cries for help as he rolled around trying to shake the fan girl off.

From off to the side two huge and buff looking men wearing black shirts with Stage Security written in bold yellow letters ran onto the set. Both of them reached down and grabbed onto the fan girl; trying to pry her off. The fan girl however refused to give in and she instead began to scream. "Noooo! He's MINE! I bought him off the internet! No! Let go!"

Finally, one of the security men tasered the girl. Growing limp, the girl finally let go of Zechs and one of the men carried her off the stage; the other one helping Zechs back to his feet.

The set was once again safe though Zechs just stood in shock, once again staring at the bush. Off to the side, there was a slight thump as Duo fainted.

Off the set, the director slapped a hand against her forehead and she let out a long sigh.

Confused, Trowa just stared at them waiting for one of them to speak.

After a short moment of a rather awkward silence Dr. J finally spoke. "I'm not going into details, but we needed to get away from our place and needed to find a place to hide." He paused in his speech for a brief moment as he scanned the street. "Also, if any cops come here, it wasn't us, you didn't see us, in fact, you don't even know us." With that said all five of the scientists entered the house. Dr. J, who was the last to enter, paused after he had walked though the door and he turned around to look at Trowa. "In fact, don't even answer the phone."

With a sigh, Trowa closed the door and he waited a few seconds. However, instead of hearing another knock, there was the loud wail of police sirens. It started out as just a few, then the whole air was filled with the awful noise, and it was getting closer. Finally, the sirens came to a stop...right in front of the house. The sirens shut up, and instead there was the noise of car doors opening and slamming shut, the clomp of footsteps as people ran around. After everything settled, there was a voice of a man who was shouting though a megaphone. "We have you surrounded! Come out with your hands up!"

Moving one of the window's curtains to the side, Trowa stared out at the street and saw that they weren't lying. Their house was completely surrounded by cop cars and there seemed to be at least thirty uniformed officers hiding behind car doors, trash cans, the tree, even the neighbors cat; their weapons drawn just in case.

Trowa was just about to open the door to tell them that there must be some kind of mistake when Duo cut him off.

Duo had risen form his hiding place behind the couch and he even held a semi-automatic gun. He then shouted loud enough so that the people outside could hear him. "You'll never take us alive coppers!"

Within just a few seconds after Duo had shouted that, all five of the scientists barrel-rolled to the center of the room; each one of them also holding a large firearm. Even Quatre, Wufei, and Heero appeared and all of them too held guns. Finally, Treize stood up from behind the couch and he pulled two handguns out from their hidden place in his fancy outfit. The last person to stand up was Zechs, his weapon being the biggest and most badass of them all...and to top it all off, a fat cigar was clenched between his teeth.

Nodding his head, Trowa dived away from the door and he picked up his own gun. Seconds after he had left, everybody inside the house with a gun opened fired at the cops. The cops were caught by surprise and it took them a few seconds to register what was going on before they fired back. Soon, the house and even the yard outside was in a full out war. Bullets were flying everywhere with surprisingly bad aim. The people in the house weren't getting hit by any of the cops bullets, though the walls, pictures, and even the couch were taking quite a beating. Outside it wasn't any better. Everything was getting pelted with bullets...except for the neighbors cat, who had fled a long time ago at the first chance that he could.

The battle went on like that for a while, and then finally, sick of not making any progress, Heero pulled out a single green colored grenade. Pulling the pin out with his teeth, Heero spat it far across the room then after winding his arm back, he let the active grenade fly. The grenade smashed cleanly though one of the windows and with a skip and a hop, it landed right by one of the cops cars. The men spotted it just in time to scream and run away, though that didn't save the car. The grenade blew up, which in turn caused the car to blow up and due to how close the other cars were parked, the flame started a chain reaction.

After what seemed like just a few moments, all of the cars were blown up and the cops were retreating. Laughing everybody in the house shouted their victory.

Back off to the side, all of the staff peered out from their hiding places to see if it was safe. Seeing that it was, they all climbed out and began to see how bad the damage was on the equipment.

Finally, the director came out of her hiding place and she looked around. Though do the fact that everybody in the house still had their guns, she didn't say much.

Some very dramatic and very heroic music then began to play and a light shone out of nowhere onto the streetlamp revealing a man standing up there. However, before the TV allowed them to get a full view of the man standing there, it's images flashed to show off the different parts of his outfit.

First flash. A very lovely and sexy ass clad only in a very tight pair of black spandex pants that were extra tight around the waist area. Before there was time to switch to the next flash, one of the hero's hands reached down and he slapped himself on the ass.

Off in the distance, Duo began to laugh, though Heero just looked innocently at the camera. "What?" He laughed. "I couldn't help it honest!"

Laughing, the director shook her head. "Cut!"

The hero stuck a dramatic pose, and then he flew off his streetlamp down towards the gangsters; his butt singing the Macarena as he flew. Once he heard the music, though, he stopped in mid-flight and he just allowed himself to hang suspended by the thin and almost invisible wires. He tried to keep a straight face for a while, though he couldn't help but to laugh.

Off on the side of the set, one of the staff people was laughing while he was searching though a mountain of tapes. "Sorry! Put in the wrong tape!"

The director just laughed. "Cut!"

The hero stuck a dramatic pose, then he flew off his streetlamp down towards the gangsters; his butt singing and upbeat version of the Can-Can as he flew. Hearing the wrong music once again, Heero stopped in his flight and once again allowed himself to just hang from the near invisible wires. "Wrong music again?"

The staff man with the piles of tapes nodded his head. "Yup."

"Right." For a moment, Heero just hung there then he turned and he looked at the director. "Why does my butt have to whistle when I fly anyway?"

"Because we said so!" An unfamilar voice shouted.

Spinning around on his wires, Heero looked at where the voice was coming from. He saw another girl walking off the set and she too wore a black baseball cap that had the word Director printed on it. Turning around, he saw that on the back of her black shirt were some more white letters. However, these letters said You shall obey me. It was the outfit of the director...every one of them wore it. Confused, he just stared at the girl. "Who are you? We already have a director!"

"Yes I know that." She stated plainly. "However, because two people were responsible for creating this, it only makes sense that there'd be two directors."

Heero blinked slowly. This could be bad. Really bad.

The first director just smiled and offered her hand to the second director. "Hi number two. I'm number one."

The second director just raised an eyebrow. "We already know each other..."

"Ooooh." The first director laughed. "Whoops."

Off to the side, Duo shook his head. "Wait...this is too confusing. Can't we call you something else besides director one and two?"

The first director smiled. "Sure! What about first and second?"

The second director shook her head. "That's the same thing."

"A and B?"

"I dunno..." The second director thought about it for a while. "I just don't think I'm a B person...you know?"

"Uhh..." The first director scratched her head in thought. "Short and tall?" She paused and she looked down at her feet. "After all I am quite short..."

"Nah."

"Red and blue?"

"Nope."

"Green and Purple?"

"Nuh uh."

"Orange and Black?"

"Stop listing colors!" Duo screamed. "Just be one and two!"

The first director just laughed evilly.

The second one just sighed. "Cut."

The image then changed to a vast field of brightly colored flowers. Then, coming up from the other side of a hill, a woman came into a view. However, upon closer inspection, everybody saw that it wasn't a woman. It was in fact a man...Duo to be exact. His long hair was braided into two pigtails with ribbons tying them on the end. He was wearing a bright yellow sundress and he was happily prancing though the field of flowers. He stopped, skipping forward after a while and he stood still.

The director leaned forward confused. "Why did you stop?"

Duo's eyes shifted around the field of flowers though he still refused to move. "I thought I heard something..."

"Like what?" The first director asked as she looked around suspiciously.

A loud buzzing sound cut Duo off. Quickly turning around Duo saw a pretty decent-sized cloud of bees flying towards him; pissed at him for stomping on all their flowers.

"BEES!" Duo screamed then he turned around, picked up his dress with his hands a bit and he ran. Even when he got out of the field of flowers and onto the concrete floor of the studio, he still didn't stop running. He just pushed his way though the equipment and around the people. Only when he had safely locked himself in a bathroom did he stop running. And a good thing to, for the angry bees just scattered and began to take their vengeance on everybody and anything that stood in their way. They didn't care who or what it was, or what that person had done to them. They had no morals...they had no mercy...and they had no way to guard themselves from the massive amount of deadly insect spray that hit them.

"Cut!" The first director shouted. "Somebody spray that field!" There was a slight pause. "And try to bribe Duo out of that bathroom..."

"On it!" The second director shouted as she ran over to the door. When she got within glancing of the bathroom's one lone window, she dove foreword and she army crawled her way towards the door so that she couldn't be spotted. It was only when she reached the door that she stopped confused. Turning around, she looked back at the first director. "Wait...why does the bathroom have a window facing the studio? Wouldn't that be too easy for people to...spy on the people in there?"

The first director smirked. "Exactly."

The second director laughed evilly and she stood up so she could grab the door. The doorknob, however, was locked, so her plan of getting in there was foiled. Moving away from the door, she backed up a few feet and she shouted. "Duo! Come out! The bee's are gone!"

"The hell they are!" He shot back. "You're just probably trying to lure me out there so I can face my doom!"

The second director sighed. Turning back around, she looked at the first director. "Any ideas?"

"Yes actually." Running over, the first director explained her idea to the second one and laughing, the second one ran away and out the studio's doors.

After a short while, the second director returned to the studio though she was wearing a thick yellow bio-hazard suit. In her gloved hands, she held a giant pair of metal prongs. Clamped in the middle of the prongs was a small plushie of Relena.

Seeing the plushie, everybody on the studio floor ran a safe distance away from it to reduce their chance of being contaminated. Reaching the bathroom, the second director flung the Relena plushie in though the window. She then stepped back and waited.

Sure enough, one second later Duo ran screaming out of the bathroom.

The first director smirked. "Alright! Let's try the scene again!"

Grumbling, Duo crossed his arms across his chest. "Let's just watch the next commercial."

For a moment, the TV screen was just a solid black of no image, and then slowly...a picture began to take over the screen, though oddly enough, everything was black and white. With, of course, a few shades of gray here and there. A really old and small house then took the center of the TV screen. The view then zoomed into the house and down a hallway to where a teenaged emo boy stood. He wore an incredibly tight pair of jeans with a band t-shirt, which had a long-sleeved stripped shirt underneath. He stood at his phone and with a quick switch of the view by the camera, it showed the boy's face...and it was none other the Trowa; his long hair covering his left eye and thanks to there only being black and white in this commercial, his normally brown hair appeared to be jet black.

Reaching out one finger, Trowa hit the button on the phone to replay any messages that he got during the day.

For a moment, the phone was silent then there was a click and a whirl. Finally, the fake mechanical voice of a woman spoke. "You have no new messages." There was a slight pause. "Nobody loves you."

Confused, Trowa just stared down at the phone.

Duo could be heard laughing off the set.

"Damn it." The first director sighed. "Cut! Let's try it again!"

The second director narrowed her eyes and she kept a watchful eye on Duo.

Grumbling, Duo crossed his arms across his chest. "Let's just watch the next commercial."

For a moment, the TV screen was just a solid black of no image, and then slowly...a picture began to take over the screen, though oddly enough, everything was black and white. With, of course, a few shades of gray here and there. A really old and small house then took the center of the TV screen. The view then zoomed into the house and down a hallway to where a teenaged emo boy stood. He wore an incredibly tight pair of jeans with a band t-shirt, which had a long-sleeved stripped shirt underneath. He stood at his phone and with a quick switch of the view by the camera, it showed the boy's face...and it was none other the Trowa; his long hair covering his left eye and thanks to there only being black and white in this commercial, his normally brown hair appeared to be jet black.

Reaching out one finger, Trowa hit the button on the phone to replay any messages that he got during the day.

For a moment, the phone was silent, then there was a click and a whirl. Finally, the fake mechanical voice of a woman spoke. "You have one new message."

Trowa blinked confused. One message? That wasn't right. For a moment, he thought about just walking off, but then he figured that he might as well see what it was. He hit the message button again and he waited.

There was a slight beeping noise as the message began to play but there was just silence. After a while, there was some static then a creepy though quiet voice spoke. "Seven daaaays." Another beeping sound signaled that the message was over.

Once again, Trowa just stared at the phone and once again, Duo was heard laughing his ass off to the side of the set.

"Cut!" Pissed the first director threw her little book at Duo. "Argh, just skip the entire phone scene. We'll just start at the diary."

The second director blinked confused. How had he done that? She had kept her eye on Duo the whole time! Narrowing her eyes even more she sat foreword on her chair and she stared at Duo even harder. No matter what Duo did next time...she was going to catch him in the act.