Chapter 2 – Doing What I Should

"You know...we should find another way to meet during the day. This is getting weird." I said pulling my pants up.

"I know." Padmè replied as she tried to arrange her clothes and hair. "Still this is the best way. I can't think of anything else!"

I sighed. "Padmè, really, I'm tired of clandestine meetings in storage rooms during lunch pause! I don't mind the quicky but..."

Smiling, she pulled me down for a kiss. "Neither I. And I told you, I've tried to find another way but..."

I sighed again. "I know. The base has rules for unmarried couples. And we decided to stick to them."

I placed my hands on her shoulders. "Padmè, it's been a year. I signed my own death certificate three hundred and seventy four days ago. I counted them. Don't you think they could accept that after a whole year you found another man to be with?"

"Anakin, we've been having this conversation how many times?" she asked sitting on a box of spare parts.

I sat beside her and leaned my elbows on my legs. "I don't know. Probably every day for the past two weeks."

"Exactly. And what have I been telling you each day for the past two weeks?"

"That you've been loyal to Anakin Skywalker for eight years and it would be strange if you decided to be with another man after only one year your husband has died." I answered, quoting her very words.

"Good. Do you have any idea?" she asked then.

I shook my head. "Not exactly. I've tried to find a way to get out of this situation but..."

"Anakin, we can always move out of this base and live somewhere else. There are places where rules are not so strict. Like Yavin!"

"No, not Yavin." I snapped, startling her. "Anywhere, even Korriban, but not Yavin!"

I stood up and started pacing in up and down the small space. No, not Yavin. Too many bad memories there. I swore to myself that if I could I would never return to that place.

Even in that moment, after eleven years, thinking about that place made my skin crawl in disgust. In self-disgust, actually. Those memories still haunted me from time to time. They weren't the worst ones, but still it wasn't something I was proud of.

"Why Anakin?" she asked, quietly though. She didn't give into my own anger. "Why do you want to avoid that place like it is the personification of death itself?"

I had never told her what had happened. It scared me as much as that dream I had that night I had got drunk on Dxun. And I had never told her about it either. I didn't even what to think about it myself!

"It's...I don't really want to talk about it."

I tried to shove those terrible images out of my mind but failed miserably, and I sat down again beside her. She didn't say a word for long moments, always caring and understanding. She had come to know that when I'm upset by anything I just need a couple of minutes to calm down then I'm ready to talk about it. She put her hand on my shoulder and waited.

"Anakin, I'm not taking that as an answer. You're upset and I want to know what happened there! Now!" she replied sternly. She was adamant when it came to that kind of stuff.

"What happened there?" she asked after some long, silent minutes.

Probably it was time to do it and confess one of my many steps I had taken towards the Dark Side of the Force. After all, we had promised to be always sincere to one another. I glanced at my watch. We still had half an hour before we had to get back to our jobs.

"It was during the war. Just before I got knighted. You remember Ventress? Dooku's apprentice?"

She nodded. "Yes, I do. She was mentioned in many reports from the front. You told me you battled her a couple of times and she you got that scar because of her."

"Yes. But that was later. About..." I tried to remember when it had happened exactly. "A year before that, no wait...maybe a couple of months more. Well, we met again during a space battle in open space and when she fled I followed her going against Obi-Wan's orders. He had asked me to stay with him and finish the space battle but I followed her. To Yavin. She managed to trick me and she almost killed me. Fortunately, I managed to get out of my ship before I could get hurt." I slowly told, trying to find the right words.

"You mean when you lost the Azure Angel?"

"That very day!"

She sighed. "Too bad. That ship was a masterpiece."

She managed to tear a smile out of me, even in that moment. And she was right, that ship was incredible. The whole X-Wing engine and armaments were based on that peculiar specimen and look what they could do? Best starfighter ever! Anyway, let's go back to our business.

"And I named it after you! Anyway, we fought for...I don't really know, it could have been minutes or hours, I can't remember. It was harsh, brutal probably. She was doing everything she could to trick me and kill me but somehow I was holding my own. But I was angry. She had dragged me into a trap, destroyed my ship and was trying to kill me. I think that after that night on Tatooine, that was another huge leap towards the Dark Side. I don't know what happened, I just know that I felt the anger, not the Force, fighting with me. And all of this happened at the Massassi Temple Complex, right where the Rebellion built the base." I told her.

She laid her head on my shoulder, sympathetically. "You have your good reasons if you don't want to go back there."

"I don't have good memories about that place. And even if we could build new, better ones...still I would be haunted by that presence. That day I was so sure I could kill her that I let completely go to...I don't know it felt like a presence, right beside me, but it was like me! It was another me, like a reflexion and I don't like what I saw in that image." I took a deep breath and tried to calm down a bit. It was still as unnerving as it was years before. Those memories were still unsettling and it really hurt to think about it again. Even after almost eleven years. "I don't really want to think about what happened that night every day of my life. If I lived there, it would..."

"Stop it Anakin, I understand, really!" she said. "Yavin it's not a place for you. I understand and I really appreciated you told me about what happened that day."

"You're not angry?" I asked pulling back my hair from my face.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Why would I need to be angry?" she replied. "You've been sincere, and that's something I really love about you. But there's something I don't really like about this."

"What?"

She grabbed the hem of my shirt and dragged me down to another kiss. And it wasn't one of those normal kisses. It was a steamy one. Her arms sneaked around my neck and she leaned back on the box. "I ruined the whole after-sex moment, didn't I?"

"You can still do something about it!" she grinned playfully.

"And I definitely want to do something!"

Fast forward do something I can actually tell you without risking to be killed by my own wife...

"Damn it! I'll be late for the kids' training!" I said trying to fasten my shirt as quickly as I could.

"And I'll be late for the afternoon meeting! You should really stop being so good at sex!" she zipped her jacket then tied her hair in a tight ponytail. She didn't have the time to comb them and that was the best solution.

"You should stop teasing me like that!" I replied. "You know what effect you have on me!" I tucked my shirt back in my pants then headed for the door. I was almost presentable. Almost. My hair was an indescribable mess, I was sweaty and locks of hair stuck to my face as if they were glued. Anyone could tell that I hadn't spent my lunch break eating. I actually had totally forgot the small bag with a couple of sandwiches and a bottle of water.

"We're explosive, alright, I know. Anyone out there?"

I opened the door and checked. "Nope. You go first. I still have a minute or two before I have to be downstairs." I said. "And I still have to eat my lunch." I grabbed the small bag and took out one of the sandwiches. "You didn't leave me much time to eat!" I said taking a big bite of it. It wasn't bad, just a bit hard to chew on. Usual stuff, I had grown accustomed to that kind of stuff.

"Good. Try not to choke on that please!" she said smiling before turning to the door. "I'm going. See you later!"

I nodded and swallowed. "See you later. I'll probably have to talk to Obi-Wan about a couple of things but I'll be off definitely before dinner."

"I should be free by six...anyway I wanted to talk to you tonight."

"About what?"

"Nothing, I mean, it's nothing important, it can wait. Now I really have to go. I love you!" she said opening the door.

"Love you too!"

She was gone.

That was our usual lunch break. For a whole year, that was our daily meeting time. One of the few moments we could actually consider ourselves as husband and wife, not just Padmè Naberrie and Atton Rosh, two complete strangers to one another.

It wasn't easy. We had to cut bits and seconds only for ourselves during the day, our kids had to pretend they didn't know their father...

Yep, it was hard.

But it was working.

Someways.

I swallowed the last bite of the sandwich and got out of the storage room. As I walked towards the service staircase to the main training level, where Aleha and Obi-Wan were training the younglings, I emptied the bottle and thought about the last two weeks.

For a whole year that situation worked fine for me. Then I had that dream about Jax confronting Vader. And that accommodation didn't work anymore, at least for me.

That dream left me rather upset. Jax was a friend, and after that night, every time I saw Aleha and Hilean, which meant everyday, I couldn't stop talking about the fact that I was finally happy, that I had my wife and kids back with me and...well, they didn't. Aleha was suffering, I knew it. And I knew what she was going through because I had gone through the same feelings. She missed Jax and she had to lie to her own daughter and tell her dad was dead. It wasn't fair.

At all. This whole situation wasn't fair, and it wasn't even right.

I mean, what the heck, we had fought to get where we were now and fuck those stupid rules! I just wanted to be with my wife. And see one of my best friends as happy as I was now.

Practically I dragged myself to the training level and as I entered the room I surveyed the area. Twenty three kids, sixteen younlings and seven padawans, Luke and Leia included. I had to clean my mind of every kind of bad feeling before I started working with them or the whole purpose of being there.

Well, those four hours weren't bad. At all. We were having fun, much more fun than when I was doing the same things back at the Temple. Aleha was a great teacher and she seldom needed our help if not as examples or surveillance during group exercises. It was an easy job in the end, much easier than what I had thought it would be a year before.

And it gave me the chance to grow up myself. I was unlearning some things and learning many more and that was my school.

Anyway, if during the other afternoons I had managed to clear my mind, that day I couldn't. And Obi-Wan noticed it. I was watching the kids as they were doing their saber training, leaning on the wall, my arms crossed at my chest, but I wasn't really watching them. I mean, I was actually watching over them but my mind was completely elsewhere.

He slowly walked towards me and leaned himself against the wall.

"Something is bothering you." he said. It wasn't a question. He had learned that when I was in those conditions, well, there was no need to ask. Something was bothering me. For good.

"Yes Master." I replied. "Something is bothering me."

"Want to talk about it?" he asked. It was the first time he asked what was actually going through my mind, every other time he just told me to relax and not to worry. It didn't work that good.

"I..." I started but it took come a moment to form a coherent sentence. "A couple of weeks ago I had a dream. A vision, actually. Jax was confronting Vader."

He said nothing, just kept listening, his eyes stuck to the kids in front of us.

"He...he was scared but he was holding his own. Vader was looking for the Pyronium crystal I gave him years ago. I don't know why he wanted it."

"Is he alive?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I woke up before the end of the fight but I have the feeling Jax managed to survive. He was determined not to let Vader have that crystal."

"Which is not bad. Being determined is always a good thing. How many times did you see it?"

"Only once, two weeks ago. It's just that I can't get it out of my mind."

He sighed. "Guess you are used to the feeling."

I nodded. "Yes I am but...you know...It was only a one-time dream, not a recurring one, fortunately. If I didn't see Aleha and most of all Hilean every day, I wouldn't even think about it anymore but..."

"I know. It's not easy."

"I feel guilty, that's the problem. I know exactly what she's going through and I can't do anything to stop it. She helped me when I was depressed and I feel I owe her a lot but...I don't really know what to do."

He shook his head. "You don't have to feel guilty at all Anakin. Aleha is fine, she knows what she'll have to face and she's prepared for it. What about you? Are you ready to face it?"

I nodded. "Yes. I mean, I don't know. I'm ready to face anything that will come up but...I really care for her and it just doesn't feel right that I'm happy and she is not."

He chuckled. "Are you really happy?" he asked then.

I turned and faced him. "Of course I am, why do you ask?"

"Anakin, let's face it. You and Padmè chose a difficult path, again, not to mention that this time you had to involve your children in this crazy situation and...well I still can't believe you really feel ok about it. You fought for ten years to be with your wife and now other rules cross your path again and you are ok with it?"

I shook my head. "No Master, I'm not ok with that. I just came to terms with it. I can stand it, I do stand it for the sake of my family and my sanity but...No, I'm not ok with it. I'm doing what I should, not what I would want to do. That's the difference. Actually I'm trying to find a way to bend the rules a bit more without breaking them but it's not easy. At all"

"If you bend them a little more, you'll break them. And I don't know what will happen." he replied. "Rules about unmarried couples here a very strict and it's rather strange because on other bases they are very loose about it. You choose the wrong base to live." he joked for a moment.

"Aleha decided to keep the kids here. And the twins need the contact with other children, it makes them grow better and stronger. If they learn how to make friendships since this age, their future will be easier."

He nodded. "Wise decision. So, it means you decided to stay here mostly because of them?"

I nodded back. "Mostly. And because the main air force research center is here. And the main piloting training grounds too. Ahsoka might need my help some time in the future, I don't know. And I'm willing to take the risk of being caught. After all, the punishment cannot be that harsh, not to mention that I'm going out with one of the founders of the Rebellion!"

"And that gives you a certain advantage, doesn't it?"

After that, the afternoon flew by and in no time it was already six and the kids were exhausted. And the teachers too. You can't even imagine how tiring it is. Six hours in the workshop and four with the kids. In the end of the day I was always completely worn out. Add the fact that I didn't sleep much in that period...

Anyway, I escorted some of the kids to their quarters then with the excuse of taking the twins in their apartment, as usual, we headed towards what they called home. They carefully maintained a certain distance between us as they knew about our plans until we got into the apartment. There, they practically jumped over me, forcing me to hold them up in my arms as I walked to the couch and sat down.

Padmè was in our bedroom and quickly joined us as the twins tried to drag me into a tickling fight but I was having a rather hard time trying to get hold of both of them. They were sneaky, little cheaters, I tell you.

"Hey, how was your day?" asked Padmè as she closed the door behind her.

I tried to pry my arm free from Luke's grasp but didn't succeed, so I laid back on the couch and smiled. "Fine. These two are getting better with hand-to-hand combat though." I joked as Leia climbed on my back and forced me to lean forward.

"I see that. If they can match you..."

I managed to look up at her and chuckled. I was holding back, and they all knew it. But with the kids, it was just fun as hell!

"Let's see who's a match for who!" I replied standing up and pulling both of them up. Struggling a bit to pry their grips open, I managed to pull them both in front of me holding them by their ankles. They squirmed and laughed like mad before I let them stand up straight. "Get a grip squids, or you'll fall asleep before dinner!"

They nodded and hugged their mother for a moment before go in their room and change clothes.

I sat back on the couch and sighed. "Wow, today it was a rather busy day."

Padmè sat beside me. "Don't tell me. Antilles keeps pushing for a new attack and we still have to find enough money for those new X-Wing we need!"

"He can be dumb when he wants to." I replied. "Anyway...you wanted to tell me something this afternoon. What was it?"

She took something out of her pocket. The keys of the Lake Region house. She caught immediately my attention. "We need a vacation." she started. "Both of us, and the kids too. You've been under an incredible amount of pressure and I still can't believe you held on so long. I've already taken care of everything. I've talked to Obi-Wan and Aleha and they agree with me. We need some time off. My parents won't use the house for the next month so we have roughly three weeks for us."

By the Force, I loved that woman. Well, I still love her, but in that moment...heck, she had the best idea ever after the guy that invented dry rations.

I took the keys from her hand and smiled. "You know...I think it's the best idea you could have in this moment!" I replied. "When are we leaving?"

"Next week. Everything is arranged. Your shifts are covered, the twins come with us and we have a ship all for us. I told you, I've taken care of everything. It will be a nice time only for our family, unlike the last year. We just have to hold on until next week. Do you think you can hold that long?"

I nodded. "Of course I can! I resisted for a whole year, one more week can't do too much damage!"

"Good, because I'm really looking forward for it!"

"Don't tell me..." I leaned over and kissed her just in time for the twins to get out of their room.

"Oh please! That's gross!" yelled Luke as they both covered their eyes with their hands.

You know, usual family stuff. That was our freaky routine.

The only problem was the fact that everything was about to get the fuck out of the window!

Alright, second chapter here. Hope you liked it! You know, probably the first five...six chapters will be pretty much introducing the story before I get started with the real action, I just want to get it right, you know, I don't want to haste the story...It might take some time but the real action will start at some point. And the villain, better, the villains are gonna be as cruel as Vader, maybe more.

Anyway, yesterday I read something on Twitter that gave me the idea for an one shot. I know I already said something like it months ago and that one shot never happened to be written, I mean, I have the file, I'm about halfway through it but I can't find the time and the words to complete it, but this time it's for real. That one shot is coming and I hope I can get something good out of this idea. If there's a character of the Expanded Universe that intrigues me is Jaina Solo. And someone at the Star Wars Books twitter account gave me a freaking epic Idea of Jaina confronting Vader, I don't know why it got this effect one me but I have to write it!

Oh, I almost forgot, thanks for the amazing response for Red Rain, I really couldn't imagine it. It was the greatest birthday gift I received! Lova ya

See ya!