A/N

Unfortunately, I've gotten sick. A sore throat is currently kicking my butt, but regardless, I still think I'll finish this or get pretty close by the end of my winter break. I got until the 10th, and with the help of my friend, I'm sure this'll get done in time.

coniferous - Redfeather: Thanks so much for your kind words! I've been writing since I was 5, and getting better at portraying personality has been one of the things I worked really hard on. It's nice to see it's paid off!

Chapter 2: Lonely Heart

Ravenpaw yawned as sunlight peeked through the hanging ivy over the medicine den. He saw Hazelstripe was already up, mixing herbs.

"You didn't wake me," Ravenpaw said, stretching.

"We were both up late delivering Pinepetal's kits," Hazelstripe meowed. "I figured it'd be best to let you sleep in."

"Much appreciated," Ravenpaw chortled.

"Oh, Raaaaaavenpaw!" came a singsong voice. A grey she cat with black flecks burst in. "Good, you're awake!"

"Duskpaw, I just woke up, and I was up all night," Ravenpaw groaned, burying his face into his paws. He heard something drop at his paws, and saw a rabbit.

"Brought you breakfast, brother," Duskpaw huffed. "Least you could say is thank you."

Ravenpaw rolled his eyes. He tore into the flesh of a prey. "Thanks."

Duskpaw sighed as she sat next to her sleepy brother. "Only been a medicine cat for a moon and you're already as haughty as Hazelstripe."

The brown tabby turned to Duskpaw with an eyebrow raised. "Uh, no offense!" She said quickly. Hazelstripe rolled his eyes.

"You shouldn't disrespect your medicine cats, Duskpaw," Ravenpaw teased. "We're messengers of StarClan, you know."

"Please, I know you've only spoken to StarClan once!" Duskpaw laughed.

"His visions or dreams are none of your concern, Duskpaw," Hazelstripe warned. Ravenpaw raised his chin to her.

Sootflower, the deputy, barged into the medicine den. "Stinking WindClan!" She snarled. "We caught them marking over the river!" Her cheek had a fresh scratch on it, and her left side was bleeding onto the grassy floor.

"Where's the rest of your patrol?" Hazelstripe asked. Ravenpaw was on his feet now, fetching some marigold and dock.

"Just outside," she grumbled as she walked in. She sat down grudgingly in a nest, a disgruntled look on her face.

Behind her, followed Redhawk, his apprentice Snailpaw, Darktail, Brightstep, and her apprentice, Eaglepaw.

"Ravenpaw, you handle Sootflower and the apprentices," Hazelstripe meowed as he chewed the leaves of the herbs into a poultice. "I've got the others."

He gave a small nod. He'd never treated Sootflower before. Her sharp eyes and narrow face intimidated him, and when he applied the dock, she didn't even blink. "Expecting me to wince?" She asked when he paused. "Don't hold your breath."

"I won't, don't worry," Ravenpaw huffed. He continued to treat her nasty wound, applying a little extra marigold since it continued to bleed.

"I've been a warrior since your parents were kits," Sootflower growled. "Needless to say, dock has lost its sting."

"Fair enough," Ravenpaw said. He pressed cobwebs over her wound, and the second he pulled away she stood.

She stared at him sternly for a moment, before she bowed her head. "Many thanks." She walked out without another word.

Ravenpaw moved onto Eaglepaw. His nose was badly scratched, and both his shoulder and right hind leg had multiple gashes on them. "Did you fight a warrior, or something?" Ravenpaw scoffed at the reckless apprentice.

"No!" Eaglepaw snapped. "That menace, Turtlepaw! She fights dirty!"

"Did you beat her?" Ravenpaw asked as he rubbed the poultice on his wounds. He was so caught up in complaining he didn't even wince.

"Of course I did," Eaglepaw bragged, giving a laugh. "She's no match for me!"

"I see, so in other words, she sent you running for the marshes," Ravenpaw meowed, his tone dry.

Eaglepaw scoffed, but said nothing more. Ravenpaw finished quickly, and continued onto Snailpaw, who had been waiting patiently, as his wounds were less severe. Just minor scratches and bites.

"Do you think Sootflower's gonna tell Snowstar how I did?" He asked meekly.

"Maybe," Ravenpaw answered. "How did you do?"

"I fought a warrior," he said, looking giddy. "I don't know her name, but I think I got her good. She yowled pretty loud. Sootflower looked pretty impressed."

"If Redhawk thinks you fought well, he'll be the one to tell Snowstar," Ravenpaw reminded him sharply. "Sootflower's the deputy, not your mentor."

Snailpaw looked at the ground. "Right."

"You can leave now," Ravenpaw meowed. Snailpaw got up, and trudged out of the den.

"You know, cats might respond better to you if you weren't so harsh with them," Hazelstripe pointed out.

Ravenpaw grumbled. "I'm harsh because they expect me to baby them. I won't." There was a dark cloud over his heart, making him feel empty inside.

Hazelstripe sighed. "Just keep in mind, Ravenpaw, a little kindness goes a long way. I'm going to check up on Pinepelt and her kits. You can reorganize the stores. When you're done, I want you to tend to the elders."

Ravenpaw groaned, feeling like he was being punished. Just because he didn't want to act like a second mother to his clanmates put him in the wrong?

He collected all the out of place herbs and moved them to the back, going over all the clusters of herbs and making sure everything was where it should be. He found foxglove seeds in with poppy seeds and could hardly believe what could've come from that mix up.

Ravenpaw pricked his ears at the sound of several things clattering, and ran out into the front part of the den to see Tigerkit on the ground surrounded by sticks and herbs, scattered everywhere.

"Tigerkit!" He snapped. "No kits in the medicine den!"

"Eek!" She squealed. "Ravenpaw!" Clearly she didn't know he had been back there. "I- um-"

"Look what you've done!" He growled. "I just organized all this!"

"I'm sorry, Ravenpaw!" She cried.

"If you're so sorry, you'll help me clean up," he said sternly.

"Yes, Ravenpaw," she agreed, bowing her head in shame.

"Do you know why kits aren't allowed in the medicine den?" Ravenpaw asked her. Tigerkit shook her head.

"A lot of these herbs are dangerous to kits," he meowed. "Eating them when they aren't needed can hurt you. Do you like being sick, Tigerkit?"

She shook her head furiously. "No! It's gross, and tastes bad in my mouth."

"These herbs can make you sick, or even kill you," Ravenpaw explained. "Do you know what this is?" He held up a deathberry.

"No," she answered.

"Looks tasty, yes?" He pressed. Tigerkit nodded.

"Well, if you were to have eaten it, you would've died," Ravenpaw growled. "You don't know what any of this does. That's why kits aren't allowed in here."

Tigerkit stared at the deathberry with round eyes, then down at her paws. "I won't come in here again. Promise."

"Good," Ravenpaw meowed. "Now, just gather those sticks back together and you can go back to playing."

She pushed the sticks into a pile by the little pool of water. She looked at Ravenpaw, and he nodded. She scampered out of the medicine den and he saw her barrel excitedly into her mother.

Ravenpaw let out a heavy sigh and slumped down. He took a quick drink from the pool of water and gathered some moss and dipped it in the water.

He carried it into his mouth to the elders. "I brought fresh water," Ravenpaw meowed.

"Give it to Whitemuzzle," Stonewater grumbled. "Kept me awake all night with his hacking."

"A miracle you could hear me over Willowdusk's snoring," Whitemuzzle scoffed.

The silver dappled she cat gave him a smack. "Oh, don't you drag me into this!"

Ravenpaw felt Whitemuzzle's throat. "There's no swelling," he reported. "Probably just a tickle."

"I told you so, Stonewater," the tom retorted. "I'm as fit as a warrior."

"I'd be able to tell more if you shut up for a moment to let me feel properly," Ravenpaw meowed tersely.

"That attitude will get you nowhere," Whitemuzzle warned him.

"I'm doing well in my training, so I think I'm getting somewhere," Ravenpaw huffed.

"You should respect your elders, you know," Whitemuzzle said gruffly.

"If other cats complain instead of letting him do his job, I think he's allowed to be sharp with his elders," Stonewater rumbled in amusement.

Ravenpaw said nothing as the emptiness inside grew over his heart. "Anything else?"

"I think we're good," Willowdusk meowed, stopping Whitemuzzle from complaining further.

Ravenpaw nodded, leaving the wet moss with them to drink from if they needed. As he walked back to the medicine den, he ran into Hazelstripe. "Oh, Ravenpaw," he meowed. "Can you fetch me some borage leaves? Pinepelt isn't producing enough milk as I'd like."

"Fine," he sighed. He located the leaves easily, and brought them back to the nursery, a hollow surrounded by woven branches and thistles for safety.

"Here," Ravenpaw said, dropping the borage leaves at Hazelstripe's paws.

"And this will give my kittens more milk?" Pinepelt asked as she hesitantly chewed up the leaves Hazelstripe handed her.

"Yes," Hazelstripe confirmed. "You should have some again next quarter-moon if you still don't produce enough milk. But don't fret, with this, Brownkit and Patchkit will grow big and strong."

Pinepelt purred her thanks. The tiny, hairless kittens were keading at her belly. Ravenpaw couldn't help but think they looked a bit ugly. He wondered if he ever looked as rat-like as them when he was a kit.

As they walked out of the nursery, Ravenpaw saw Hazelstripe rub muzzles with Amberflight, his mate. He was an exception to the no-mates rule, as he was a warrior before he became a medicine cat. They only couldn't have anymore kits, but with their one daughter Sunfall, a well-respected warrior, they were content.

He saw Duskpaw proudly walk into camp with a hefty haul of two mice, a squirrel, and a toad. Mossrock looked exceptionally pleased with her apprentice.

She waltzed up to her brother with a prideful smile. "Look at all I caught!"

"Don't eat it all yourself," Ravenpaw teased.

"I was actually going to bring some to Pinepelt. I bet she's starving," Duskpaw huffed. "It would've been more fun if you were with me, though."

Ravenpaw rolled his eyes. "You know becoming a warrior never interested me."

"But you look all dark and brooding!" Duskpaw protested. "You'd intimidate all the other warriors."

"I don't care," he grumbled. "The isolate life of a medicine fits me."

"But you learn to fight anyways as a medicine cat," Duskpaw pointed out.

"For self-defense!" Ravenpaw growled. "You bring this up all the time. Will you drop it? I don't want to be a warrior. I chose this life!"

He stalked off back into the medicine den, tail lashing. "Oh, Ravenpaw, there you are," Hazelstripe mewed. "Sharpheart was complaining of a bellyache. Can you give him these juniper berries?"

Ravenpaw responded with a low growl, snatching up the berries and walking over to the black tom laying pitifully inside the warrior den. "Don't gorge yourself on mice before going to sleep or you're going to have bellyaches forever," Ravenpaw snapped, dropping the berries, and left before the warrior could even react.

"That was fast," Hazelstripe commented.

"It usually is when you skip the coddling," he meowed.

Hazelstripe sighed. "What have I told you about being nicer to your clanmates?"

"I don't know," he grumbled. "I probably wasn't listening."

Ravenpaw could feel his mentor's exasperation spiking the air. "You can be rude to me all you like, but that won't change things," Hazelstripe sighed. "Part of being a medicine cat is caring."

"Really? I thought it was treating the sick and injured," Ravenpaw retorted.

"You have to be approachable in order for cats to come to you with their ailments," Hazelstripe pointed out, his tone growing sharp.

"They'll come to me either way because I'm a medicine cat," Ravenpaw hissed.

"You're an apprentice!" Hazelstripe lashed his tail. "My apprentice! With this attitude of yours, cats will think you were forced to be my apprentice!"

"It's what I wanted, and I'm going to do it the way I want," Ravenpaw growled. "I won't change myself just to please others."

"Then you can reorganize and restock our stores until you realize why this is unacceptable," Hazelstripe growled back. "I've tolerated it for this past moon because I thought you'd mature a bit, but I suppose I was wrong."

"I get things done just fine!" Ravenpaw snapped. "I do all you tell me to do, and well, might I add! Why does it matter what my attitude is like?"

Hazelstripe only sighed. "Go pick the leaves off the blackberry branches we brought back yesterday."

Ravenpaw growled one last time, lashing his tail as he stalked back into the medicine den where the fresh blackberries laid beside older ones.

He ripped at the leaves angrily, but with care, and tossed aside the twigs they were attached to when he was finished with a branch. He could feel the disappointment Hazelstripe felt radiating off his pelt.

Ravenpaw wished he could convey how he felt to his mentor without an argument. How nothing he did chased away the void in his chest, no matter how helpful or extraordinary. How being kind took extra energy out of him and left him even more drained than before.

He watched the sunset from inside the medicine den with sad eyes and a lonely heart that only wanted someone to appreciate him.

A/N

God, I'm so sorry this took longer than I planned. My cold is really bad and now my sister is in town and I'll likely be spending time with my family until the 2nd.