Forbidden Desires

Universe: Transformers Prime

Rating: R

Pairings: RatchetxOptimus

Warnings: Smut.

Description: Takes place during "Faster, Stronger". Optimus Prime has followed the rules since he became a Prime but even though it is illegal for him to love Ratchet, he can't help himself. Now, with Ratchet's new found energy and confidence, he can't help but think of the Ratchet he met and fell for when he was Orion Pax.

A/N: Optimus may be a little cannon in this but even though he's wise in Prime, I still see him as a little innocent in some aspects. So, sorry ahead of time if he is a little cannon, you have been warned!

I was worried for my CMO.

His new synthetic energon seemed to be doing wonders for his energy levels and physical prowess but I was skeptical. As far as I knew, he hadn't put it through the proper tests with spark-less machines and that didn't bode well for him. I hoped to Primus that I would be proven wrong but our luck was never so good.

I stood at the computer console and watched as Ratchet sparred with Bulkhead. He tossed the ex-Wrecker over his shoulder as if he weighed absolutely nothing. For a moment, I smiled at how much this Ratchet reminded me of the first time we had met. Before the war took…everything from him. The young warriors would be shocked if they ever knew that this was merely a glimpse of a younger, healthier Ratchet before the war began.

I could still remember Ratchet back then, before I had accepted the Matrix and became a Prime. He had been a frequent guest with his young protégés at the Iacon library. He would show the newest generation around so that they would have a resource to look up any questions they had about their field. I watched from afar, even then, as he instructed them in the way of medicine. He was intelligent, quick-witted and blunt but he knew his trade better than anyone I had ever seen walk through the library.

There were days he would come in merely to read the newest files and one day, I gathered the courage to speak with him. The conversation lasted longer than I had hoped and I knew from that moment that I needed to see him again. I didn't wait long until he came back. It became almost a weekly occurrence for him to stop by and have intellectual conversations with me.

Back then, he didn't have to work the long hours he did now.

Then one afternoon, as I was heading out of Iacon, I found him waiting for me. He smiled as I paused and blinked in confusion; why was he here? The question was soon answered when he offered to buy me a drink at a local bar and I agreed.

It was a peaceful, golden time for me…until Megatronus came into my life. Had I know what would happen when I went to the council with him, would I have gone? I know I would have but I still allow myself to wonder how my life would have turned out had I stayed in Iacon that day. Would I be dead? Would I be a foot soldier?

The one thing I did know was what I lost when I took on the Matrix. I lost my only chance of loving and being loved by Ratchet. There were strict rules on whom a Prime could love and even more on how. Ratchet, being the honest mech he was, followed the rules without question and so did I. When I became a Prime, I was automatically given a femme that would become my partner. Elita One, had been her name, and even though she had been destroyed in the war a long time ago, I had never truly loved her. It wasn't for lack of trying…she just never struck me the way Ratchet had.

Because, Elita One was dead, I had to go by what the laws said about choosing another partner. It would need to be a femme of high standing (not that any of us had any kind of high standing) or a mech who could bear sparklings. All Cybertronians were born with the same equipment behind their interface panel. Both femmes and mechs had spikes and valves but femmes could bear sparklings with their valves. We weren't sure when some mechs had adapted to bearing sparklings but there were mechs, popularly known as Bearers, who were much like femmes but they couldn't Sire sparklings like mechs such as myself. I was born a Sire and as such, I had to have a femme or a Bearer as a partner.

Arcee would be the first on the list if we went by the old rules. She was femme and had high standing, seeing as she was the only femme here, and she was a wonderful soldier. Strong, intelligent, a little headstrong and rash but she was a great femme. I would be a fool not to list her as a possibility but…I knew she was partial to femmes. I wasn't stupid, I knew that she and Elita One had been seeing each other behind my back and honestly, I didn't mind. I would never ask her to do something against her will; I wouldn't do the same thing to Arcee that had been done to Elita One.

Bumblebee was a possibility, believe it or not. He was a Bearer and the only reason why I knew was because Ratchet had told me when Elita One was killed. I knew he meant well but the warrior was so young. In fact, I wasn't even sure if he had ever interfaced before and I would not take that from him. It went against everything I believed in.

Bulkhead and Ratchet were both like me, Sires. I would not think about Decepticons, period. I didn't really understand why Primes had to bear sparklings in the first place. It wasn't like the Matrix was passed down from Creators to sparkling. There was no way to know if being a Prime was in the spark or if it was in the processor.

I sigh deeply as my processor finally stops rolling with my thoughts and I push them to the side. I would think about all of my personal problems after I had taken care of my issue with Ratchet. Sitting up from the console I turned only to find Ratchet standing a few feet away. "R-Ratchet!" I whisper, trying to hide my shock behind a smile. "How long have you been there?"

A confident, cocky smirk crosses his lips and I find myself pinned to the console by his alien, green optics full of an emotion that made my spark flutter. "You've been watching me all day, Optimus," it wasn't a question. His optics trail down my form and I feel that gaze like fingers down my metal. Add to that the way his voice dipped lower into a husky register that seemed to run heat down my entire frame.

I was thrown off guard by this new sensation and I couldn't help but think that he knew what effect he was having on me. When had his vocalizer ever been so gruff and sultry? It was like strong high-grade and I couldn't remember ever being so aroused so easily. "I've been…worried about you, old friend," I offer with an uncomfortable smile to cover my half lie.

"Don't 'old friend' me, Optimus," he drawls, coming closer a fraction. "You can't lie to me. You like the change." He placed his servos on his hips and I was caught by how masculine his form was. His broad shoulders, his thick, heavy limbs, and his square jaw all seemed to jump out at me, like they had at Iacon so many years ago.

All of my locked feelings gushed through the dam that I had built to shield myself from the one thing I could never have. I was overwhelmed by how strong my want—no, my need for the medic was. My fans kicked on involuntarily and I stared at the smug mech in shock. I thought that by locking my feelings away, they would diminish over time. Instead, they had only grown stronger.

He took a step forward but I moved away, trying desperately to get away from the torrential emotions, threatening to overtake my discipline. "Optimus," Ratchet calls as he grabs my wrist to stop me. "You are the last Prime. Those laws mean nothing if you want them to!"

His voice was sharp like a dagger and was cutting away at my resolve. His words were toxic as they sank into my processor and his servo tightened on my wrist as I ran through all the things wrong with my desires. We were both Sires; he was my CMO; I was his Prime…the list went on and on. Then…I was suddenly thinking about all the things good about my desires. We were old friends; we were both willing; and…I loved him.

"Opti—"

Using the grip on my wrist, I jerked him forward and did something I should have done centuries ago. He jolted as my lips found his but settled into the unfamiliar sensation. Centuries of pining and loving from a distance flooded into one kiss. My servos cupped his faceplate and he grabbed my hips so as to pull me closer as his glossa invaded my mouth without permission. I couldn't help the groan that issued from my vocalizer as his fingers started to trail across my seams, finding openings to explore.

Fast as lightning, I found myself on the ground with Ratchet looming over me, that confident smirk stretched across his faceplate. I found it incredibly alluring and even though we were two completely different heights, he seemed to make it work. He kissed me again and I heard my fans whine as his servos continued to search out the wires and crevices that sent waves of heat through my frame. Elita One hadn't ever had this effect on me and, sadly, the same was probably true for her.

His lips moved down my neck cables and I covered my mouth with my servo to cut off my very, un-leader-like whine. "No," Ratchet whispers, grabbing my servo. "I want to hear you, Orion."

I felt a rush of energy across my metal at the sound of my old name coming from him. All of a sudden, I wasn't in the middle of a war. I was Orion Pax, lowly librarian, a normal mech, enjoying an intimate moment with a normal medic. It was an addicting fantasy and I couldn't help my interface panel clicking open without my permission. I could already feel the lubricants seeping from my valve and my spike was standing at attention.

"Primus," he growls against my neck before scooting down to sit between my legs. With his optics holding mine, he grips my legs under the knees and bends them. I feel myself heat as he runs his optics down my open interface panel, taking everything in. Liquid fire rushes through me as I hold back the urge to close my legs. Vulnerable and open, I felt like I was embarrassing myself. "You have no idea what you're doing to me, Optimus," he utters in a throaty, breathless whisper that takes my breath away.

My optics widen when his finger rims my valve slowly. Small sparks of pleasure flood my system at the new sensation. He was taunting me, drawing it out to torture me as much as he could. Call me a masochist, but, I loved every second of it. How long had I secretly wanted this? How many times had I let myself imagine Elita One was this very mech?

My vocals turned to static when one large, talented finger was pressed into my valve. It was a feeling that nothing could compare to and if Sentinel Prime were alive, he'd die twice over. Ratchet leaned across my front to run his lips across my spark chamber, causing a moan to escape my lips as his finger wiggled just slightly, a promise of what was to come.

"I'm the first to touch your valve, aren't I?" he whispers seductively against my stomach, staring up at me with a smirk.

I try to rock against his finger with a moan but he followed the movement until I was forced to answer. "Yes! Please!" I beg loudly.

His hand shoves forward mercilessly and I am assaulted by a pleasure so foreign it scared me for a moment before it overwhelmed the fear. He does something that rocks my entire world and I arch my back into the feeling. "There?" he asks through the fog of my processor and I respond with an incoherent gasp. He flicked those nodes over and over until I was falling in a pit of pure pleasure until my overload completely overwhelmed me.

I'm pretty sure I offlined because I had to shutter my optics back on. I found myself lying on the ground with Ratchet beside me, smirking; his servo was running across my stomach lazily and I couldn't help but notice the splatter of transfluid that coated my front and his servo. My metal was tingling with energy but I was already aching for more even as he lifted his servo to lick my transfluid off. It sent a spike of pleasure straight to my core.

I felt like there was something I should say but I was lost for words. His servo traced my spark chamber idly and I could hear his fans roaring to cool his revved engine. I truly didn't know what I had been doing to him even though I hadn't been doing anything.

"How do you want it?" Ratchet whispers into my audio receptors and I about lost it again. "Spike or valve?"

No one had ever asked me that question and I leaned forward to catch his lips for a brief but heady kiss. It was now or never. I would either go all the way or I wouldn't have started this. Pulling away, I looked into his green optics and heard myself say, "Spike me."

Where I thought he would question my choice, he merely smirked and pressed that finger into my valve again. It felt nice to be penetrated but I wanted more. He pulled out just enough to push another finger in and I threw my helm back in awe. The sensation of stretching over the intrusion made my spike twitch in pleasure.

"You're tight," he moans into my receptor before he disappears down my body.

My form was quaking with pleasure as he slowly thrusts his fingers into me, dragging out my pleasure. "R-Ratchet!" I whimpered as his fingers scissor to stretch me out so that he could press another finger into my valve. Pain, slow and minute, started to spread through my stretching valve.

"Almost there, Orion," he soothes before I felt a slick glossa running up the underside of my spike. Radiant pleasure exploded through me to cover the pain and I bucked against him.

He finally pulled out after he decided I was plenty stretched and I watched as he moved in-between my legs. Anticipation made me anxious as he rubbed his thick head against my opening teasingly. He was large and I was worried that he wouldn't fit. The fear started to grow until he rocked into me barely an inch. The pain was there, certainly, but the further he got into my valve, the more I wanted.

"Ratchet!" I begged, wrapping my legs around his waist to pull him as deep as he could go. He grunted but I could only pant as he started to rock his hips into mine. The tension, the connection, made me gasp and beg for more. "Primus, please!" I scream as his thrusts become hard and savage.

He wasn't going to last long and, honestly, neither was I. I was already sensitized from my first overload and I could taste the energy settling on my glossa. "I'm…I'm going to…" I muttered incoherently as my vocals slowly started to fuzz with static.

"I know, me too," he gasps as my valve clenches in warning of my coming overload. I feel the electricity crackling over my form just as his servo wraps around my spike.

"Ratchet!" I scream as the wave of overload spills over and I am bucking into his shallow, jerking thrusts.

"Primus, Orion!" he responds as my valve clenches around him, dragging him into overload with me. I feel my transfluid spill across my already stained spark-chamber and the warmth of his fluid filling me. It was something that only dragged my overload out even more. He thrusts a few more times but doesn't pull out and we both lie there panting in our overload bliss. "Never…" he begins, panting. "Took you for a spike mech."

My faceplate flushes in embarrassment but I smile through it. "Me neither."

Looking down at the mech on my berth, I felt my spark clench in pain. He had nearly died out there and honestly, it nearly killed me to have to drag him back here. Only once had he woken up since he was stabilized and I wished I could do more. Instead, I was left to lie on my own personal berth with him while he recovered. My berth was large so he fit perfectly beside me with his tubes connected to the machine on the floor.

"Guh, where am I?" I jolted when he looks around the unfamiliar room.

I touch his arm lightly and smile. "My room, I figured it'd be more comfortable," I offer, stroking his metal tenderly. "How are you feeling?"

He grunts as he tries to look at his wound. "Like the Pit," he grumbles but I smile at the familiar tone. He was back to normal again. "Primus, Orion, I'm sorry to put you through this."

"We all make mistakes, old friend," I smile, moving closer to cuddle up to his uninjured side. "I'm just glad you're here, alive." He shifts slowly so that he could wrap his arm under my helm and down my back. It was…surprisingly comfortable!

There was silence for a few moments before he leans down to kiss my forehead, softly. "I'm not sorry for what we did," he whispers and I laugh happily at the admittance.

"Me neither," I smile, pressing my faceplate into his neck slowly. I didn't know how much moving would hurt him.

He pulled me closer so that he could kiss my audio receptor. "You want to do it again?" he asks gruffly, making me jerk up to stare at him in shock. He had that smug smirk on his face again but his optics were the usual blue.

"You're injured!" I state in protest but he practically eats my words by kissing them right out of my mouth. It made my metal warm even as I tried to convince myself to deny him. Honestly, whom was I kidding? I wanted to interface him so badly it nearly hurt.

His smirk was so appealing that I had to keep my interface panel from clicking open without my permission. "Well, I won't be able to do much," he starts and I suddenly get his hint. It makes my faceplate warm but I slowly shift until I was straddling his broad hips, using my servos on his stomach to steady myself. "Now, open your panel." I look down in embarrassment but do as I'm told so that he can see my spike pressurize, betraying my false calm. His optics drink in my position and he reaches forward to try and reach my valve but his tubes stop him. He winces as they tug but I press him back to the berth in worry. "I guess you'll have to prepare yourself," he says with no small amount of intense pleasure.

I honestly questioned whether I could do that in front of him or not until I heard his interface panel click open and felt the head of his spike brush across my valve. He knew how much I wanted it. Hesitantly, I let my fingers slip down until I brushed the head of my spike then, lower, until I touched the lubrication soaking my valve. Solidifying my resolve, I slipped a finger into myself and gasped at the feeling. It was different because my finger was smaller than Ratchet's but they were longer so they could reach almost the same depth.

Pushing another finger in, I allowed myself to stretch and started thrusting. I whimpered as my fingers brushed a bundle of nodes; I played with those as I tried to stretch a third finger inside, very aware of the two blue optics watching me and the spike that twitched against my hand in need. My other hand caressed over my spike as I experimented with different sensations and by the time I was stretched and ready, I was very close to overload.

"Not yet," he interrupts, knocking me out of my pleasure-laced high. I look at him and my spark pulsates at the dark desire in his optics. Shifting slightly, I withdrew my fingers and let him feel how wet I was by dragging my valve across his spike. His optics fluttered slightly as he groaned in pleasure, keeping his body prone so that his wound wouldn't be disturbed. "Orion," he almost begs, clenching his servos in impatience.

I felt myself smile as I worked to position his spike at my entrance and slowly lowering. The stretch was a pleasant burn in my valve and I couldn't help but dipping down to take all of him at once. He grunted, throwing his helm back in abandon as I experimentally rolled my hips. It had an interesting reaction from the both of us. I felt like I was doused in fire as the friction from his spike made me shudder in pleasure; he whispered my name helplessly.

My body started to move in a slow but pleasurable rhythm and our overload started to build in a steady wave that rolled across our bodies. The electricity was intoxicating and as my overload started to come on, I sped up. He was panting my name like a mantra and I was gasping into the pleasure as I brought the both of us to an overload that hit us like a brick wall at a hundred miles an hour. We fell into incoherent sounds as he lost himself in the clenching ecstasy of my valve and I writhed into jerky, shallow rocking.

I fell forward and caught myself by planting my servos on the berth beside my lover's helm. He was a shuddering mass of pleasure as his transfluids mixed with my lubrication and leaked out of my valve as I pulled away. Moving away from the berth, I went to grab the rag that was sitting on one of my make-shift tables. I cleaned both myself and Ratchet before going back to lie on the berth with him.

His servo reached out as I was climbing over him to squeeze my aft playfully. "You would have made a tempting nurse, Orion," he chuckles and I can't help but smile as I settle down beside him. With his arm wrapped around me, I scoot closer to enjoy the warmth of his body against mine. "We'll have to get you one of those costumes humans like to wear for 'adult time'."

I look at him in shock. Where had he learnt something like that? "I highly doubt they have my size," I laugh, leaning down to kiss him slowly.

We stay silent for a while as we listen to the slow hum of our sparks. "We're breaking a lot of Cybertronian laws, Optimus," he whispers softly, not sounding the least bit guilty for it.

"Does that bother you?" I ask slowly.

"No."

"Good, me neither."