Donna felt a little sick to her stomach as they all headed over to the office where the Congressman was holed up for a few hours. Just her luck that he happened to be in town for another DCCC gala just when the news broke.
She liked Matt Santos and she' actually had some good conversations with him. Josh had definitely picked the right candidate and more than once during the primaries she'd been jealous. But this felt like getting called to the principal's office. Even though she knew in her heart she'd done nothing wrong, it took all her fortitude to remind herself to hold her head up high.
When they were almost to the door, Josh gently touched her arm. "Are you okay?" He asked under his breath. Donna's heart beat violently for a minute, as old feelings rushed over her, reminding her of all the times that Josh had looked out for her when no one noticed.
"I'm fine." She answered gruffly. She couldn't afford to feel vulnerable right now. She needed to maintain her control. Her dignity. No matter what happened next she wanted to be proud of how she'd handled herself.
Over the course of the last 8 years, every time they'd worked on an abortion issue, she'd asked her self if this was the time her secret would come out. She'd actually rehearsed in her mind what she'd say if anyone had ever asked. Along ago she'd resolved to own her decision. She owed it to herself and she owed it to the women who had paved the way for her reproductive rights. And she intended help pave the way for those to follow.
Now her time had come, she would stand tall. She would be bold. She would speak confidently. She cleared her throat and repeated herself.
"I'm fine. But thanks for asking." This time her voice was strong.
Josh held the door open for her, and as she walks by his hand brushes the small of her back. He snatches it back, unusually aware of what he did, and concerned, for once that this is not the time or place for such familiarities. And also concerned that they aren't welcome. He just doesn't know what to do with this new version of Donna. While he's so proud of how much she's grown, a part of him still longs for the girl in Germany who woke up calling his name.
"Congressman . . . we have a problem." Lou breaks the ice without preamble as soon as Josh and Donna join them in the office.
"What?" She asks at Josh's glare. The man is confounding! He seems to be alternating between concern and anger. And she has no idea exactly what he's upset about. Not that she really cares about Josh's feelings! They have a campaign to manage, and in a campaign THIS is a problem.
"It's not necessarily a problem." Edie breaks in softly, still feeling defensive of Donna, and trying to negotiate some peace between Lou and Josh.
"I had an abortion." Donna announces to the Congressman, leaving everyone speechless.
"It wasn't mine." Matt quips. While everyone else's jaws fall open, Donna actually chuckles, prompting Matt to continue. "It wasn't Josh's was it?" He asks in the same humorous tone.
"SIR!" Josh sputters turning red and actually taking a step forward fists clenched. For just a second, Lou is actually afraid that Josh might punch the Congressman in the face.
"I'm sorry." Matt quickly backtracks. "Helen always tells me I don't know when to stop when I think I'm being funny."
Matt carefully looks around the room. He definitely misjudged the nature of his audience. Now instead of laughing with him, Donna is sort of pale. Oh god, the thought hits him, could he have been a little too accurate?
"I really am sorry,"he offers sincerely. "It was just a joke. I was trying to lighten the mood."
Josh takes a deep breath and nods. "Okay. Let's take a seat and work out a strategy."
As they find their seats, Lou jumps back into problem-solving mode. She looks at the Congressman. "First of all. Have you seen the ad?"
"No. I haven't really had time for television these days. I only see what you show me."
"Okay. We'll get a tape in here so you know what we're talking about."
"No." Josh breaks in. "Donna doesn't need to watch that again." He turns to the Congressman. "It's an attack ad. They're using Donna's past to try to argue that you really are for abortions without limits, even though one has nothing to do with the other! It's just more partisan politics and I think it's time to take the gloves off. We need to hit them with everything we've got!" His voice gets harder and harder until he's practically seething.
"Josh, Josh. This isn't really any different than last week. You didn't want to go negative then."
"THIS IS DIFFERENT!"
Three sets of eyes look at him in confusion. "What's different?" Edie asks gently, while Lou starts to smirk as she makes eye contact with Matt, and they reach the conclusion at the same time. The difference is Donna.
"Nevermind." Josh mumbles. "I thought YOU wanted to go negative." He shoots at Lou.
"Well, that IS a possibility. But we've lost the ability to draw first blood now. And honestly- I'm sorry, Donna- but, I'm not sure that this ad hurts us all that much. This gives us another opportunity to make a statement and get some free media coverage." Lou goes on, thinking aloud. "Donna could make a statement, tell her story. Maybe play up some sympathy? We'd want to leave out that working for the Bartlet campaign was a significant factor in her decision. Maybe focus on the fact that she thought her ex was cheating on her and that's why they broke up. Focus on her desire to finish her education."
"No." Donna breaks in and all eyes turn to her.
"I'm sorry, Congressman. I really want to help you win. But I don't want to lie about my story. AND I shouldn't have to justify my decision."
"She's right." Edie offers. "In the first trimester, a woman has a right to terminate a pregnancy for any reason, or no reason at all. She doesn't have to have some sort of sob story and she doesn't have to share what her reasons are. I think we focus on that. Keep it simple. Donna didn't do anything wrong."
It's quiet for a moment. And Donna can't help but wonder if they all agree with that last statement. She'd heard about Matt's personal view. He believes that life begins at conception. Was he judging her? Would he prefer not to have her working for him?
"I don't think Donna should be the spokesperson." Matt announces after a few awkward moments. Donna's heart sinks but she tries not to let it show.
She's not sure whether or not she was successful when Matt reaches over and pats the top of her hand.
"Just for this." He reassures her. "I think I should make a statement myself. I want to reiterate that I support a woman's right to choose. I want to say that Donna doesn't owe me, or anyone else an explanation. This was between her and her doctor. And then I want to hit them hard for dragging a private citizen's private life into the campaign!"
"Yes!" Lou rubs her hands together at the thought of finally getting to beat up on some Republicans. Josh nods in agreement.
"Donna, does that sound okay to you?" Matt asks kindly.
"Yes. Thank you."
"Do we know where they got this information?" Lou asks the room. "Is this a HIPAA violation? Could we use that as line of attack?"
Donna looks thoughtful. "I don't know. I can't imagine it being the clinic. But I've never told anyone. Not even my Mom. The other than the clinic and me, the only other person that knew was . . . "
"Dr. Freeride." Josh seethes as he suddenly stands, shoving his hands into his pockets and rocking forward on the balls of his feet with his jaw clenched. He'd been doing his best to remain somewhat even keeled about this whole situation, but he was nearing his limit. "I'll kill him …"
"Josh!" Lou admonishes him. "The last thing we need here is for you to create a whole new story."
Josh says nothing, nodding slightly and taking a deep breath through gritted teeth and redirecting his focus out the window. He steps backwards in a move that most everyone in the room acknowledges as him allowing Lou to continue leading the charge, but Donna sees it for what it is. He needs to put his back against the wall.
"Alright." Matt announces, deciding that the rest of this conversation could occur without him, "I've got other things to focus on right now. Lou, Edie, Donna- go work on a statement for me. Josh, hold back a minute."
Once the others are out of the room, he gives Josh an appraising look. "You alright?"
"I'm fine, sir."
"You seem kind of tense."
"This whole thing really pisses me off!"
"Yeah, I got that impression. Do you want to let her go? You are the campaign manager."
"NO! I'm not mad at her. I just . . . I should have protected her. I shouldn't have let this happen to her."
And there it was. Matt thought to himself. The crux of the problem. His campaign manager had feelings for his spokesperson. Helen would be pleased when he told her she was right. But for now, he needed to manage Josh.
"Josh, there's nothing you could have done. She was in the spotlight."
"I could have kept her out of the spotlight."
"Well, something tells me that she wouldn't have thought that you were doing her any favors if you had."
"No. Probably not." Josh admits reluctantly, even as he realizes that maybe this is what Donna was screaming at him about in the hotel room last week.
"She's a strong woman, Josh. She can handle this. But, make sure she knows that we've got her back, okay? Now, go on. Get something done, would you?"
"Yes, sir."
With that Josh leaves the office. He's tempted to go find the ladies and help with the statement, but if he's honest with himself, they probably don't need his assistance, and it's probably better if he takes a step back.