Mahiru doesn't think that Kuro can surprise him any further. After all, the vampire had awoken from his pain and death-induced sleep with a weary gaze, and after that he feigned having amnesia as some sort of a joke. Not to mention that he's lost his trademark slouch, and now he seems slightly more intimidating as he walks around the apartment at full height. Combined with the broken cat bell and torn string, Mahiru doesn't think that Kuro can have any surprises left in store.
He's so, so wrong. While Mahiru boils the meat in a pot on the stove, he goes off and finishes more chores in spite of himself. Even if he's weak and defeated now, he still has guests and that's no excuse for him to slack off on maintaining the apartment. He plugs in the vacuum and starts sucking up the crumbs and dirt from the floor. Then he pulls out a duster and goes to wipe away the accumulated filth on the counters and shelves. Finally, Mahiru wipes down a stain on the curtains, and sweeps up the dirt by the sliding door to the balcony outside.
He gets a lot done, actually, and he supposes that these chores will go by as they always do—solemnly, quietly, simply. Mahiru doesn't expect the Greed pair to assist him in cleaning (they give off such a spoiled and pampered air that it'd be troublesome to ask them for help, anyway) and he has already gotten used to the fact that Kuro is about as useless in cleaning up as an actual cat is.
So when Mahiru turns around to fix another mess, he's surprised to see that Kuro is actually cleaning it for him, instead. Kuro, the vampire of Sloth and the embodiment of laziness himself, is cleaning. Beyond the first two surprises that he had given his eve since he woke up, this one takes the cake for being the most unbelievable thing to happen so far.
Mahiru stands wide-eyed and agape.
Kuro sighs and looks embarrassed all the same. "Don't make this out to be such a big deal, Mahiru. You were gonna ask me to move so you could clean up over here, right? I just didn't want to have to listen to you nag at me like that."
"But even so, that's—"
"—And I really don't know what I'm doing, so if you think about that, then I guess I'm just making a bigger mess for you to clean up."
Kuro's weary red eyes glance over at Hyde and Licht, and he seems relieved when they return his exasperated stare with differing expressions—one smiling idiot and one frowning genius—of their own. Mahiru wonders if Kuro is going out of his way to clean up because they have company over, but even then he thinks that the presence of his younger brother and his accompanying eve aren't enough to get the cat to change his ways.
(But his broken bell, weakened bond, and warped personality are enough to get him to change.)
And even though he claims to be bad at tidying up, Kuro doesn't leave a single chip behind when he throws all his wrappers in the trash. He goes to the sink and washes the oil from the chips off of his hands, which contrasts his previous behavior of just licking his fingers clean. ("That's a bad habit and it's disgusting," Mahiru once said to him when he witnessed him sucking the flavor off of stained fingers. "Just wash your fingers instead of licking them!") Back then, Kuro had said that Mahiru was too overbearing and that it was easier to lick potato-chip fingers clean than to get up and head over to the sink.
But now, he's completely turned around in this particular behavior, and he tries not to look as bothered as usual when he drags his feet across the hardwood floors. While passing by Mahiru, Kuro brushes his arm against his own, and it's with this subtle movement that Mahiru notices another oddity about the other.
When Kuro sits back down on the couch and leans into the cushion (but not slouching like he used to—no, he sits up as straight as a board), Mahiru notices something different about his general face and disposition. He sees that the hood of Kuro's familiar jacket is down, and the black fur slumps against his neck instead of resting on the top of his head—instead of forming those familiar cat-ear shapes that Mahiru's gotten used to seeing. The fur-lined hood is down, and Kuro's pale white-blue hair is exposed in its entirety, with his strands growing just a little bit past his ears and face, and his long bangs falling into the rounds of his red eyes. And the hair itself isn't messy like Mahiru always expects it to be, but it looks normal and tame like it might have been touched by a hairbrush recently.
It's just another surprise that Kuro has. And Mahiru feels queasy, because it's as if he doesn't know who Kuro even is anymore. Childishly, he thinks that it's unfair for Kuro to change so much in comparison to his other siblings. He doesn't want this new Kuro, who doesn't feel like his own anymore. He doesn't want this strange vampire that wears his partner's image like a disguise, but isn't actually his partner at all, in hindsight.
What Mahiru does want is a chance to fix his mistakes, and a reparation to the broken bell and dilapidated bonds between him and Kuro. He wants this so badly.
"Hey, Kuro?"
"Yeah?"
Despite responding to Mahiru just now, Kuro remains affixed to the flickering television screen in front of him. Licht and Hyde are sitting on another couch in the same room, and they both chatter over the program that's on air with opposite opinions of the show. But Mahiru expertly tunes them out, and tries to focus as his eyes come down on Kuro's lackadaisical image again.
"I don't know if I've ever seen you without your hood up. I thought you liked it a lot, too."
"Oh, I still like it. I was just feeling too warm, so I took it off." A cursory glance in the human's direction, and Kuro almost looks concerned. But the dullness of the violet shades underneath his eyes displace that warm emotion, and he appears to be as cold and unfeeling as ever. "Why do you even care?"
"That's—"
"—Is it because I've done something wrong again? I can tell that something's bothering you. It's 'cause I'm still not acting like myself, or whatever, right?"
"I wouldn't say it like that," Mahiru insists. "I was surprised, but I only mentioned it 'cause I think it's kind of nice, actually. When your hood is down, I mean. I've always thought your hair was a pretty nice color."
Kuro blinks once, twice—then he tears his gaze away from Mahiru as he looks back at his show, fingers curling around the remote. "Thanks," he says quietly. "I think I like your hair color better, though."
Mahiru smiles at the genuine compliment, something that is quite rare considering it's coming from a person like Kuro. He's glad that the Greed pair is too absorbed in bickering with each other, because otherwise they would have definitely teased him about this little moment. But he's been spared their hampering comments, and he even appreciates the fact that they've been so kind lately, so they deserve nothing but the best dinner possible for their efforts in return.
They all deserve a nice, warm, home-cooked meal made by one of the best homecooks around. Mahiru finds a strange sense of pride in himself, suddenly, that which contrasts with the negative thoughts he was having earlier. But he welcomes this change nonetheless, because it means that he still has something to look forward to past all the violence. Yes, beyond the disputes with vampires, C3, and other strange beings alike, Mahiru has this small sanctuary of an apartment to call his own, and he can share harmonious moments like mealtimes with his loved ones.
As adoration fills his eyes and light fills up his soul, Mahiru practically flies around the kitchen as he finishes the last of the dinner prep.
When he's finally done, he calls everyone to the table.
The last surprise of Kuro's is still waiting for him, though, and Mahiru is none the wiser as he brings out the large pot of food to the table for everyone to share. The four of them take their seats with mild chatter coming up between them. There's a mixed chorus of "Thanks for the meal!" and the sound of chopsticks clinking against ceramic bowls.
Eventually, they start eating, and Mahiru looks around the table to see three faces of varying satisfaction at the meal. It makes him wonder why he even worried so much before when he's had such great friends by his side this whole time.
Less than thirty minutes pass after that, and he quickly discovers the reason why he's been worried so far.
And that reason's name is Kuro.
.
.
.
Between four hungry males, the meal doesn't last nearly as long as it should. And with the exception of Hyde's obnoxious comments in between bites—and Licht's grumpy words escaping in tired mumbles—everyone is quiet and content with the food in front of them. Mahiru is happy at this realization, and his worries melt alongside the food in his mouth. Before he knows it, the pot has been emptied entirely.
Hyde sighs happily as he leans back in his chair. "Wow, you're pretty decent at cooking, Mahiru! I was totally surprised!"
Licht nods in agreement. "Since you're getting closer to becoming an angel yourself, this isn't too bad."
"Aw, you guys! Cooking is no big deal, it's one of the simplest things in the world, honestly! But thanks, anyway." His gaze slides over to Kuro, who has been completely silent up to this point. Mahiru reaches over and gently nudges him in the side. "What about you, Kuro? How was it?"
"Why do you always put me on the spot?" Kuro mutters. "It's good, of course. As always."
"I was just making sure, that's all!" Mahiru chirps as he stands up and starts gathering the dirty dishes. "Let me put these away while you guys hang back, alright?"
"That's no good, Mahiru," Licht counters. "If you keep pampering this idiot over here, he'll never contribute to anything himself."
"What are you saying, that's not true!" Hyde's eyes have tears in them again, and he's too busy wiping them away to think of a witty comeback at the moment. "You're s-so mean, Licht…"
"Prove me wrong, then. Help Mahiru out with the dishes."
"F-Fine," Hyde grumbles lowly. "Just don't be such a jerk about it, gosh…"
With only a few protests on his end, Hyde eventually goes to Mahiru's side, and he's already forgotten his tears as he chats away a storm about how he knows how to wash and dry dishes since he used to be a part time worker as a busboy for a restaurant once. To this, Mahiru seems vaguely impressed, and leaves the drying up to him as proof of his belief in the other's abilities. Mahiru washes, Hyde dries, and the cycle repeats until there's no evidence left of their meal. When they're both done, they take turns washing and drying off their own hands, and return to their respective partners in question.
The scene before them is a bit stranger than either of them would like to anticipate. Licht is still seated at the table, which is fine because he can sit there if he likes—that's not the strange part about this at all. Rather, the oddness comes from Kuro, who's standing up with a determined look in his eyes as he stares down the Eve of Greed with a knowing glance.
The air between them is stifled. Mahiru's breath gets stuck in his throat, and Hyde laughs out awkwardly. "Hey, Angel-chan, don't tell me you pissed off my brother while I was busy cleaning up after you. Even if he's been defeated recently, I don't know if I can take him on in my current state like this…"
"That's not it at all," Licht denies calmly, the eloquence in his voice cracking slightly beneath and unknown weight. "It wasn't anything like that. Hyde, I—"
"—Kuro, are you alright?" Mahiru unintentionally interrupts everyone with his own worrisome inquiries. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," Kuro insists. "I was just asking Violent Angel over here if he's gonna replace Hyde's name tag anytime soon."
"You what?" Hyde asks aloud, and looks between his brother and his eve. "W-Well, I guess you could do that, Licht, but you don't have to trouble yourself with another hand-graved project. And I didn't think about this before, but maybe we could actually renew the contract if you replaced the broken item with something else."
"I was thinking the exact same thing," Kuro admits. "If a contract item is destroyed, then can't it just be replaced by something new? Then everything would be fixed again. So I was talking about what I wanted to do with my contract, until I figured that there's no point in worrying over it, and that I should just do it."
"Wait, what were you going to do?" Mahiru cuts in, not satisfied with the answers he's been getting so far. "Kuro, what are you—"
"—I'm doing this."
The room is quiet, silent, and helpless as Kuro moves with painstaking precision. Mahiru thinks he didn't notice it before, but the broken cat bell is sitting on the table, now. The bell is the star of this little show, and its fragmented pieces reflect little glints of light off their metallic surface. That shine is hypnotizing in a way, because Mahiru can't get his eyes off it. Even if the item's broken, and essentially useless as a representation of the contract between him and Kuro, Mahiru decides that he's simply attached to the old thing, and he doesn't want to see it get destroyed further.
Kuro thinks the complete opposite. He thinks that the bell is worthless now that it's broken, and he thinks that the two of them will benefit if he just destroys it. That must be the case, because he moves with such ferocity and hatred that it scares Mahiru into further silence and inaction.
Dark red eyes are vibrant and alive for once, and slender hands drop broken metal fragments to the ground. As they clatter against the hardwood floors, two voices—those that belong to the duo who commands Greed—overlap each other in obvious protest. A third voice doesn't cry out until it forms a fully fledged gasp, one that is born from pure shock and despair.
The third voice is Mahiru, and he can do nothing as Kuro lifts his right foot up into the air—which is when Mahiru realizes that Kuro must have put his shoes back on at some point, and gosh, he's going to have to clean up the dirt on the floor from his boots later—only to bring it crashing down onto the lasting remnants of his broken cat bell. His eyes are brimming with fury, regret, and hatred—all of which emit from him like shadowy shockwaves of disparity. He silently moves with purpose flowing in his veins, and he doesn't stop moving until the bell is reduced to nothing but tiny shards and smithereens of its former self.
He twists his heel into the object, grinding it to dust and further denouncing its uselessness. Despite the finality of his actions, the other three in the room stand shocked and agape like they can't believe what just happened. Sure, the contract item is already broken, but that doesn't mean he has to completely obliterate it! And what would that do to his bond with Mahiru, that which has already been weakened to a frightening point?
Hyde and Licht stare at Mahiru now, wordlessly asking what his next move would be.
"K-Kuro," he stutters. "Why did you do that? What was the point of all that?"
"There was no point," the vampire snaps back at him. "That's what I mean, this bell is broken and doesn't work anymore, right? So you can just give me something new in return, and it'll be like nothing happened. And this time, you can give me something that won't get yanked off my neck so easily. It'll work out for everyone, in that case."
"Even so, that's an overkill! The poor bell's already broken, there's no need to break it further! There was—"
"—I don't think that at all, actually. If it's broken, then there's nothing wrong with destroying it completely."
"Kuro…"
"And another thing, why are we even having this conversation?" his voice is coated with something bitter, and every syllable that escapes his lips sends Mahiru into a fearful recoil. "This is such a pain, why don't you ever listen to me, for once?"
"I always try to listen to you! Why are you the one that never listens? I know I have to take responsibility for you, but I hate how unnecessary you're making everything right now! Y-You've changed, Kuro." Mahiru finally breathes out what he's been meaning to say all day, and the words weigh heavily on his own chest with a huge amount of guilt. But he can't take it back—it's too late because he's said it already—so he just keeps going.
"You've changed," he repeats. "But I don't mind, we just gotta get through this like we get through everything else."
"I've changed?" he echoes the words back at his master, but with a tone that doesn't seem good for anyone involved. "I wonder whose fault that is."
"Kuro—"
"—And I wonder out of the four of us, which one of us thinks that he's the only one that knows that something's changed," he doesn't stop, and although his voice is bordering on angry, he keeps an eerie aura of patience surrounding him, still. "You think I haven't noticed that I'm weaker now? If anything, I'm the one that noticed it first."
"I…"
"I've been trying to be good for both our sakes', but you keep pointing out my mistakes and it's getting kind of annoying." Suddenly, his voice warps, and Mahiru blinks as he swears he sees a flicker of darkness flash against the wall behind him. It disappears within an instant though, and everyone else continues on like nothing happened.
"You're annoying me!"
Mahiru glances over at Licht and Hyde in hopes that they can help him find a suitable answer in this situation, but instead, he almost screams as the Greed pair appear to be nothing more than shadowy corpses. Like blurry static on a television screen, they wean in and out of reality, with warped shapes taking up the spots where two adolescent males should be. The darkness that surrounds them drips down like ink, and splatters against the hardwood floors of Mahiru's home—effectively slinking over the smooth surface and spreading more of that terrible blackness around.
Mahiru looks back to Kuro, and he actually screamsthis time. The flickering shadow has returned again, although now it seems to envelop Kuro entirely, making his eyes and mouth bleed out crimson-black hatred that swarms the floor beneath him like a hungry miasma. The whole apartment seems to saturate with this void-like appearance, and Mahiru feels as if he's nothing more than layers of smoke and air, nothing but ash and fog mixing into one incomprehensible identity as he tries to grasp for reality in front of him.
But it's no use. He wonders if he's been behind a thin layer of film this whole time. As if he has been nothing but a toy in a plastic wrap, watching the world transpire outside of his imaginary boundaries while he sits immobile. His apartment melts into the darkness that leaks out of Kuro, and the lightless blobs that were once Hyde and Licht disappear, as well. Mahiru opens his mouth to try and shout something, but the shadows move forward, and drown him with their presence all at once.
Suddenly, he can't breathe. He can't breathe, think, or say anything as his throat dies with hesitance and tears well up in his eyes. He tries to reach out, but his hands grasp nothing but cold air and regret. He attempts to call out for Kuro, but the name is too hard to muster out between chapped lips and strangled breaths. A flicker of the familiar white-blue hair appears for a short time, but then it fades entirely behind the swarm of darkness that coagulates and storms the room like a moldy drain.
He doesn't know how it happened.
He doesn't think about what it took to get there.
He just sees, but even then, his poor vision is stripped away from him in a moment's notice. And with little protest, Mahiru succumbs to his exhaustion as all the black in his vision suddenly brightens to white.
Then he doesn't see, think, or do anything for quite some time.
.
.
.
Mahiru wakes up, and he still doesn't see anything right away. But then his eyes adjust to the darkness of his room, and judging from the blue-blackness of the sky outside his window, he figures that it's early morning or late at night.
He's been sleeping this whole time.
An abrupt realization hits him, and he sits upright from his bed in a frenzied motion. He wants to cry out for his servamp, but his heart beats ahead of time from his head in mad rhythms, and he's helpless to try and catch up with it. Mahiru stays seated as his thoughts run haphazardly, and his breath runs equally ragged at the understanding of the nightmare he must have had just now.
For a short moment, nothing feels real. And because of this, Mahiru doesn't register the fact that Kuro is calling out to him, and shaking his shoulders in the same motion. He's not completely harsh in moving him, but his hands are firm and frantic as they try to bring some sense into the dazed eve.
"Mahiru!" Kuro hisses, sounding louder and more alarmed than he's ever been in all their time together. "Mahiru, you're awake now, so can you please say something?"
"Kuro," he mutters the other's name beneath his breath. The moonlight wanes through his window, now, and he can see the dim outline of Kuro's face before him—he can see his lanky frame just inches away from his own, crimson eyes exhausted yet awake with worry and concern.
"Kuro!"
Mahiru ignores the other's words as he swiftly reaches forward, and blindly gropes at Kuro's chest until he finds what he wants. The metallic bell is delicate as it hangs off the string, but its round and smooth shape in Mahiru's hand tells him everything he wants to know. The item is still intact, and it's not broken or destroyed like his dream told him it would be. That would mean, in turn, that the Kuro in front of him is his Kuro, one that hasn't been defeated by foolish movements or ill-timed actions.
It's his Kuro, even if he's slightly quieter than usual. Mahiru doesn't understand how desperate he seems right now, but Kuro picks up on this emotion all too easily—such that he is stunned into silence and confusion for a short time. He thinks for a good minute before deciding to reach out, and gently grasps Mahiru's wrist with his own hesitant hand. Kuro tightens his hold, blinks against the lazy darkness of the bedroom around them, then sighs.
"Troublesome," he scolds him. "You're so troublesome. And you were having a nightmare, which is why I even bothered trying to wake you up in the first place."
"A nightmare…" Mahiru echoes his words. "But, I've had nightmares before with you around. And you've never tried to wake me up before—in your vampire form, no less. How come you're not a cat right now, Kuro?"
"For someone that just woke up from a dream, you're annoyingly aware," is all his partner says in reply. But Mahiru whimpers quietly, and he still holds onto the bell tightly—so tightly it might shatter beneath his fearful touch. All of this works against Kuro and, feeling guilty, he keeps talking in a hasty attempt to explain himself. "Normally you don't thrash around and scream in your sleep, Mahiru. But you started doing that a few minutes ago, and I was worried, so…"
"So you woke me up just now," Mahiru answers his own inquiries in a weary voice, his heart rate finally slowing down in response to the other's calm words. While he doesn't let go of the bell just yet, he leans forward so he can carefully rest his forehead against Kuro's shoulder.
The vampire tenses up, but doesn't shoo the human away afterward. He lets him stay there silently for a moment or so, before asking him in a softer voice: "What were you dreaming about? If it's too much of a bother, you don't have to tell me."
"I dreamt that your bell got destroyed," he admits simply. "And then we had a fight and then some shadows ate you up...it's all really weird, now that I'm saying it."
"I see. Is that all that happened, then?"
"Yeah, I mean, there's more complicated stuff than that—" like how you changed and how that was terrible because I don't ever want you to change since I like you just the way you are— "but putting it simply, that's what happened."
"I can't promise that won't actually happen one day," Kuro warns. "Just 'cause I'm stronger than my siblings doesn't mean I'm invincible. Even though you think that's the case for some odd reason," there's a bare hint of amusement in his voice, but it gets lost as he continues talking in a kindly sedate manner.
At this point, his voice is barely above a whisper, but the night is quiet between them so Mahiru can hear every word he's saying. And Kuro uses his free arm in the kindest way, because he slowly reaches for Mahiru's hands—those that are still curled around the bell hanging off his neck, the same way that a sinner holds on firmly to the hands of a forgiving priest—and takes them in his own.
Kuro runs his fingers over Mahiru's knuckles as he tries to coax him into relaxing beneath his feather-light touch. Mahiru eases up slightly, and lifts his head up from Kuro's shoulder so he can stare at him eye-level, now. Kuro glances—the dark violet shades pooled beneath his eyes looking just a little bit better than usual—and blinks thoughtfully at the other, murmuring more half-hearted complaints underneath his timid breath.
Then, Kuro brings Mahiru's hands upward towards his mouth, and he plants tiny kisses along the ridges of his knuckles and the smoothness of his skin. Each little kiss is sweeter and softer than the last, and Mahiru almost, almost, almost squeaks—but he manages to suppress the noise into a tiny gasp, instead. He hopes that Kuro can't see the heat flushing to his face, can't hear the thunderous beat of his heart, can't feel the electricity spiking through his veins all at once.
But even so, Mahiru realizes that his heart is beating out of love and consideration, not out of fear or panic. To think that something as simple as a kiss would be the thing to calm him down is just so fitting for the two of them. Mahiru almost feels bad for having the bad dream in the first place. His lips curl into the smallest of smiles. "Thanks," he says again. "I'm sorry that I ended up waking you up in the middle of the night like this."
"Don't apologize," Kuro insists. "I never apologize for sleeping, so neither should you."
"That's different," Mahiru points out. "You sleep too often. The fact that you're not sleeping right now is entirely my fault, but maybe it's also a miracle."
"Ha ha," his laugh is dry and unamused, but the action in and of itself brings rare but identical smiles to both of their faces. "Don't forget that you were screaming in your sleep. If you were just snoring like usual, then I would've definitely tuned you out."
"I don't snore!" he protests, despite knowing that he sounds like a foghorn in the middle of the night. "But I'm thankful that you woke me up, anyway. S-Sorry that I randomly just grabbed at you earlier," Mahiru suddenly amends, realizing how awkward (and intimate) it must have been for him to grasp at the other's chest and neck earlier.
The thought of Mahiru's fingers trailing against the soft fabric of Kuro's clothes, and gently brushing against the exposed bits of his smooth skin...he perishes the idea of it, but his cheeks betray his inner thoughts by blooming into bright, embarrassed red.
Sitting up straighter, Mahiru finally lets go of the bell, and listens to the sound of it tinkling as it falls back against Kuro's chest. Then he says: "This doesn't usually happen. The screaming during nightmares, I mean. And when we have company, too."
"I'm sure Licht doesn't mind. And Hyde sleeps like a log," Kuro informs. Whether it's the truth or whether he's only saying that to make him feel better, Mahiru can't tell. "You can apologize to them in the morning, if you'd like. There's no sin in sleeping."
"Says the biggest sleeper around!"
"Mmhmm."
Mahiru laughs chastely, the sound resonating with the ringing bell earlier. He's too busy giggling over himself to notice the genuine smile crossing Kuro's face—the one that disappears when Mahiru looks up at him with a renewed sort of confidence.
"Okay, I guess we should get back to sleep now," he advises. "Thanks, Kuro."
"...You're troublesome," he replies. "And you're welcome, too."
Mahiru stretches and goes back under the covers of his bed, while Kuro hops off the mattress and reverts back to his cat form. The sound of his paws padding along the floor is heard, before it disappears altogether as he curls up in the cat-basket nearby the foot-end of Mahiru's bed. Then he yawns, his cute cat voice echoing in groggy murmurs afterward. Mahiru chuckles at the sound of it, and pulls the comforter up to his neck before closing his eyes.
"Hey, Kuro," he says against the sleepy veil hanging loosely in the room. "Thanks, again."
"You're welcome, again."
"And Kuro?"
"What?"
"I love you."
Kuro is shocked into silence. He nearly sputters, and Mahiru smiles to himself thinking that this little teasing on his end won't go unnoticed by him. Because his words are just that—teasing, and lighthearted fun. But it's also something else.
It's also the truth, and Kuro knows this as much as Mahiru does. But his lazy nature will make him deny it most of the time, although there are some secrets that he can never hope to hide from the other.
Now that the shadows have disappeared, and now that Mahiru sees clearly once more, Kuro finds himself thinking that he's the same as him in this situation. Before he met his current eve, he had been lost and blinded, but now he has been found. Now, he is seeing clearly once more.
Now, he has something to smile for.
By the time Kuro works up the courage to respond, Mahiru is already snoring soundly from his place in bed. But he really doesn't mind, anyway, and he speaks into the warm air of the room in reply—a sweet and affectionate tone barely hanging off the edge of his lilting voice.
"I love you, too," Kuro says.
I really do.