Chapter 1: A Woman First
It was strange just how quickly things could change.
The time that had passed since Thor's coronation was unimaginably insignificant, especially after having lived such an extended life, yet so much had happened. In less then a day, everything had been altered.
All of Asgard undoubtedly thought Sif and her fellow warriors to be reckless fools. Yet she could not bring herself to regret their bravery. Of course they had followed Thor into Jotunheim. Before they had even crossed the rainbow bridge, there had been deep sense of foreboding resonating from deep within her gut. But Sif, like her companions, was hopelessly loyal to Thor.
At this point, Loki was the only one that could bring Thor back. He was a master at getting what he wanted, and he must want Thor back as much as she, if not more. He should feel responsible anyways. They'd all had a hand in Thor's banishment.
"Loki."
His face was withdrawn but there was a flicker of something there, underneath. It was not often that Sif addressed Loki so directly, and she was unfamiliar with his expressions and the emotions they signified. She continued without the slightest loss in momentum. "You must go to the Allfather and convince him to change his mind," Sif urged as she searched his emerald eyes for any form of compassion.
Loki had to know what Thor meant to her. Everyone knew didn't they? Everyone but Thor.
Sif was a warrior. But before that she was a woman. These two facts sometimes conflicted. She had eventually earned the respect of others, but it hadn't been an easy plight. Sif was an uncommon type of woman and like all uncommon things, she was initially rebuked. Sif had proven herself tenfold not only as strong warrior but also a worthy advisory. She could wield a sword just as well as any man, if not better. And although she had an appetite for war, she did not seek it out. Through unbridled determination, she had earned the respect of her peers.
The one man who had given Sif his respect without question was now banished. Thor was banished.
Only Thor had recognized Sif as a warrior that was not to be underestimated when others had disregarded her. She knew Thor recognized her as a warrior, however she wasn't so sure he had recognized that, quite simply, she was a woman too. Thor was many great things, but she couldn't say perceptive was one of them. For this reason, she never worried he'd ever catch her gazing at him a few moments too long. Or if he would understand the tortured expression her face held when he would ask her to dance with him, with only the most innocent of intentions. It left a bitter taste in her mouth; knowing Thor made her a coward. She may have been a brave warrior but she was a cowardice woman. She had never voiced her feelings to Thor and now she may never get the chance.
As the light of the fire flickered in Loki's eyes, illuminating them, she realized there was no compassion to be found.
"And if I do, than what? I love Thor more dearly then any of you but you know what he is. He's arrogant. He's reckless. He's dangerous." Each adjective was painfully spot on, but he said them with such restrained animosity. Sif had always felt Loki envied Thor on some level but now she was starting to believe it was something greater then simple sibling rivalry. Something deeper and darker. Something that had been festering for a while now. "You saw how he was today," Loki hissed, anger barely concealed behind his pale face.
"Is that what Asgard needs for it's King?" He asked, and not once did he lose eye contact. Sif could not believe him. So was that it? He was just going to give up on his own brother? It didn't matter how much Thor deserved his banishment, he also deserved redemption.
Everyone remained deadly quiet as he swept out of the room, Sif's eyes following him with disbelief. His final words hung in the air hauntingly, like dust that had yet to settle.
As soon as he was at out of hearing range, she quietly spoke her mind.
"He may speak of the good Asgard but he's always been jealous of Thor."
She could feel Hogun and Fandral silently agreeing with her but she wasn't surprised when Volstagg, the noble fellow he was, defended Loki.
"We should be grateful to him, he saved our lives," he said, yet still sounded about as weary as the rest of them felt. His words were true, Loki had saved their lives. But could it have been to his benefit?
The large man lounged on a bench in front of the fire, as Hogun tended to the burn on Volstagg's meaty arm. Sif eyes lingered on the burn wound from where Volstagg had been grabbed by one of the giants.
It brought thoughts of Loki to mind. Not just thoughts but questions too. Today Sif had seen something she was not meant to see. Something she was knew Loki had not wanted her to see. He hadn't wanted anyone to see it.
But she had seen the entire thing.
She had watched in horror as Loki's armor had cracked away into disintegrated pieces, quite sure his flesh would do the same. She had watched as it had turn a shade of blue that had shockingly matched the giant fist clenched around his forearm instead. And she had watched as Loki's face drained of what little color it held.
Then his eyes had turned to Sif and time had stopped. Completely stopped.
His eyes were wide with horror, mirroring her own. The snow flakes around her had seemed suspended in air. Everything was frozen; the battle, the club that had been coming towards her head, even the harsh wind that bit at her cheeks. That moment seemed to last a lifetime; the moment when Sif realized Loki was something else. In that moment a secret was shared between the two unwilling participants.
Sif had almost wished she hadn't seen it. She already had enough to concern herself with and did not wish to be burdened with keeping Loki's secret. But she'd kept it just that; a secret. And she was unsure why that was.
"Laufey said there were traitors in the House of Odin." Hogun stated quietly, interrupting her thoughts. Sif's brow creased at what Hogun was suggesting. "A master of magic could bring three Jotuns into Asgard."
His meaning washed over Sif. Was Loki capable of such treachery? A trickster, though he was, his allegiance was with Asgard.
"Loki's always been one for mischief, but you're talking about something else entirely," Fandral chided, who also sat on a bench. His wounded shoulder, that was now neatly bandaged, was proof of his loyalty to Thor.
Sif found herself agreeing with Fandral, although hesitantly. Loki was capable of many mean things but he was no agent of chaos.
"If you'll excuse me," Sif murmured. She was oblivious to the three gazes that followed her as she retreated from the lounge area; in the direction Loki had left.
When she had made enough distance between herself and the court room, she picked up her pace in search of Loki. She noticed a flick ebony hair disappear around the corner and hurried after him. When she rounded the corner, she was surprised to find the corridor to be an empty dead end. She blinked in confusion for a moment before she felt a dark presence behind her shoulder.
She wasn't surprised when she heard his voice. "Your steps really are quite noisy for a Lady."
Sif was surprised by the wave of apprehension that washed over her, at the sound of his voice and the sudden realization that she was alone with Loki. Had that ever once occurred?
Why was she suddenly so tense? She felt like she could not stand to have her back to face the sorcerer and turned around slowly to face him. When her eyes met his cool ones, Sif realized she was suspicious. Although she didn't quite believe Loki was the one to bring the Jotuns into their realm, she still had her reservations. When she considered Loki's jealousy of Thor and his roguish nature, the idea was not entirely appalling. Then there was the whole incident with his skin to be considered. It was just that she didn't want to believe it.
"Loki," she started but hesitated as her gaze dropped down to his arm. He'd changed garments since their return home, and his arm was hidden beneath leather.
Not too long ago, Sif had witnessed that very same arm held in Frost Giant's vise like grip.
"I haven't told anyone." It was the first thing she said. She wasn't sure why, but she felt she should say it. To let him know she had protected his secret. And why was that? To protect Loki? The thought didn't sit well with her.
He had never been neither nice nor kind to her. He was cool, maybe even polite, just as he was with her companions yet there was something else.
Sif realized she didn't particularly like Loki.
She could not say she disliked him, however, she was not overly fond of the confined young man. There was something off about him. In the past Sif had sometimes felt particularly targeted by his shenanigans though she was sure she had never done anything to warrant his attention. He had in fact, played quite a few mean tricks on Sif in the past but that was neither here nor there. The matter was, she didn't owe Loki anything. Not this secrecy. Not her protection.
"Yet." She added as an afterthought.
"Yet?" His asked, and a brief smile flashed across his lips. "Is that why you followed me? To threaten me?" He seemed very unimpressed at the thought.
"No, I'm concerned." She replied, a bit appalled by his tone.
"I see. You are worried about me." This time he smiled completely as though her statement amused him. Did he assume she was lying?
"I saw your face Loki. You didn't know it would happen." He regarded her with a closed off expression, no longer smiling. Sif chose her next words carefully. "I just need to know if this is something that should be shared with the others."
An angry line suddenly appeared between his eyebrows and warning he was suddenly close to her, dark smoke swirling about him for a moment then dissipating. "You are to forget what you have witnessed today, and never to speak of this matter again. Not to me. Not to anyone."
He was in her personal space, towering over her and balling his fists at his sides. She immediately recognized what he was doing; it was meant to be threatening. Sif was baffled by his reaction.
"I am not asking you Lady Sif. I am warning you. You didn't see anything today. Do you understand?" His voice remained calm, but completely disagreed with his posture. Sif titled her head back, slightly away from him and looked at him as though seeing him for the first time. He really was threatening her.
At first Sif found herself scrambling for a way to quickly defuse the situation. What could she say? But then it suddenly dawned on her that she hadn't done a single thing wrong. She had clearly stated that she had kept his secret. She refused to be cowed. "I do not fear you Odinson."
"No?" He smiled strangely. "I think I could change your mind."
Suddenly he snatched her up by her wrists. She only had time to register that his fingers were frighteningly cold before they vanished in a swirl of dark smoke.
Not a moment later, they reappeared in a new setting. "Where are we?" Sif asked, scrambling from his grip. She peered around the large room while rubbing her wrists before she realized her location. Slanted structures that caved towards the center of the room supported it's high ceiling. Though the lighting was dim, she knew they were in The Weapons Vault. The same place, that just earlier that day, had been infiltrated by Frost Giants. Why had he brought her here?
Her head whipped back to Loki, who seemed to be ignoring her and slowly making his way to the end of the hall. "Why have you brought me here?"
As she walked to his side, he stopped with his eyes glued to the pulsating Casket before him. He seemed almost oblivious to her presence. She studied the glowing blue relic also. It seemed to almost pulse with energy waiting to be used. Such great power, in such a small object. It made her uneasy just gazing at it. She watched in horror as Loki slowly raised his hands and gripped the sides of the prism.
"Loki, put it down," she said slowly, as her hand began lowering to the knife she knew was concealed beneath her tunic. She glanced behind her shoulder in search for a sentry. She wasn't sure if she hoping to find one or not. If they were found here, they would face severe consequences. But she also was suddenly weary of the powerful Casket within Loki's grasp and the danger it was capable of. "We should not be in here."
When she turned back to face Loki, she gasped.
"Perhaps you fear me now, Lady Sif," Loki said darkly, his ruby gaze lifting to meet her shocked one.
Her words were caught in her throat as her wide eyes trailed over his face and it's blue features. The features of a Jotun. But how could he be a Frost Giant? Loki was exceedingly tall but not a height recognizable for a giant. Beneath the blue skin and raised ridges, she could still see Loki. His appearance did not so much frighten her, as it did worry her. Not to say he did not look menacing. In fact, the way he looked now, seemed more fitting. More devilish like he was. Who was Loki?
"Stop," Odin's voice rang clear, shattering the pregnant silence. Sif immediately whipped around and fell to one knee before his majesty, who was stood like a statue on the stairs. It was almost reflexive.
He stood at the stairs, his presence as commanding as ever. He didn't seem to be astonished by Loki's appearance which only filled her mind with more questions.
After some hesitation Sif realized an apology was in order. "Your majesty-" she began, but was quickly cut off.
"Lady Sif, would you please give me a moment alone with my son?" It wasn't a request, he was just being mannerly. Sif raised her eyes to Odin and found he was staring at Loki, an unreadable expression on his aged features. The word son rang false in her ears now. Could Loki be trusted alone with the Allfather? She was learning quickly Loki was not what she thought him to be. Her integrity as a warrior made her hesitate. But when Odin's eyes drew to her, his intentions were clear. Leave us.
With reluctance she stood and cast a wary glance at Loki. His eyes were locked with Odin's and Sif realized she had become very irrelevant. She could feel a rift forming between the two men, a thick tension in the air that had nothing to do with her.
Sif her eyes lifted back to the Allfather before excusing herself. "Of course, my lord." She stood to leave. As she passed Odin on the stairs she felt his hand unexpectedly reach out to squeeze hers...reassuringly?
The Allfather had always been kind to her but she was slightly surprised by his display of affection as she retreated from the Weapon Vault. Sif had always felt very small in the Allfather's prescense, and was baffled that he had even touched her.
No sooner had she left the hall, she broke out into a sprint in search of the Warriors Three.
Loki couldn't be a Frost Giant. He was a prince of Asgard! He was Odinson, was he not? If not, then who's son? She suddenly realized these very same questions, must be plaguing Loki. Her heart twitched for a moment in empathy. He couldn't be the son of Odin meaning his entire life had been lie. The Allfather had never told him.
The Warrior's Three hadn't left the lounge room. As she approached the room she slowed to a walk realizing she was out of breath. Suddenly she wasn't sure what she would tell them, and lingered outside the doorway. What was this grating emotion that swelled in her chest when she thought of Loki's red eyes and blue skin! Pity? Not that foolish emotion again! In that moment she realized she had no intention of sharing her discovery with the three men.
Hushed voices brought her out of her thoughts.
"-isn't the only thing of Thor's, Loki is jealous of." It was Fandral's voice. What were they speaking of?
"Sif is not Thor's," Volstagg snorted and Sif's head snapped up. "In fact I think the man is quite blind to her affections!" Heat rose to Sif's cheeks. Thor may be unobservant but others were not. She was feeling quite embarrassed now.
"Yes, but Loki is not," Hogun's quiet voice, commented almost repeating her thoughts. "He watches her...like he is waiting for something." Sif's eyes widened in disbelief. Was he suggesting...no. It was an utterly ridiculous notion. That Loki fancied her?
"Loki attracted to anyone besides himself? The very thought is amusing!" Volstagg guffawed, breaking into laughter. Sif had to agree with Volstagg.
"I hardly find it amusing," Hogun disagreed. "He stands in our way. He does not want Thor back. If anyone could change his mind, it is her."
"I hardly think those measures are called for," Sif said, making her presence known as she stepped into the room. Only Volstagg had the decency to look guilty."We shall speak with Odin in the morning. Perhaps we can reason with him," Sif decided with finality.
Hogun raised his head to stare at her levelly and nodded
That night, she found it difficult to sleep. Hogun's words bothered her. She didn't like the thought of Loki having taken an interest in her. She had never felt his eye on her, but then again her eyes had always been on Thor. Perhaps she was the oblivious one?
Now that she thought of it, she couldn't remember ever noticing Loki take an interest to any woman. He must have always been discreet about it. Like Volstagg had said; it was hard to imagine Loki attracted to anyone but himself.
XxX
The next morning Sif dressed quickly into a freshly polished armor set and pulled her long hair up into a tight rubber band. She wasted no time finding her three companions and the quartet headed for Odin's throne room.
She didn't know if Odin would grant them their wish. Unlike Loki, Odin did have compassion. Yet he was a stern King and an even more stern father.
"Allfather, we must speak with you urgently," Sif began, as she rushed with her arm crossed over chest and head lowered. The Warriors Three followed behind in similar stances.
When she raised her head, her eyes were met with an unexpected sight.
"My friends," Loki greeted calmly from the throne, sitting upon it asthough it was a perfectly natural thing to do. His legs were spread far apart, and so were his arms; a completely relaxed posture.
Friends? The word did not fit. Not when the air was suddenly laced with apprehension.
Fandral asked what everyone else must have been thinking as the four approached the throne. "Where's Odin?"
"Father has fallen into The Odinsleep. Mother fears he may never wake again," Loki replied, his tone peculiar. She knew she shouldn't have left him alone with the All-father. Why had she not followed her instincts? Loki must have done something to cause this. It all seemed very unnatural.
Sif had already had enough of this. "We would speak with her," Sif commanded. Her jaw ticked at the sight of Loki in Odin's throne, holding Odin's spear.
"She has refused to leave my father's bedside. You can bring your urgent matter to me." He rose slowly and placed Odin's spear on the ground, the sound resounded through the room. "Your King," he stated an octave deeper.
Sif blinked for a moment then felt white heat blaze behind her temples. However she kept her composer and obediently crossed her arm stiffly over chest in respect and kneeled. Beside Sif, her three companions did the same with reluctance. "My King," the word came out nearly jeering. "We would ask that you end Thor's banishment."
He scoffed lightly, "My first command can not be to undo the Allfather's last. We're on the brink of war with the Jotunheim. Our people need a sense of continuity, in order to feel safe in these difficult times. All of us must stand together for the good of Asgard."
Sif could feel herself ready to lunge forward and rip that silly helmet from his tiny head when Fandral's hands caught her. "Yes, of course," Fandral said quickly.
"Good. Then you will wait for my word," Loki said cooly.
"If I may," Volstagg began, and Loki eyes slid to him. "Beg the indulgence of Your Majesty to perhaps reconsider-"
"We're done," Loki interrupted in dismissal. Sif sucked in a sharp breath, finding the way he spoke to her friend simply rude.
Hogun was right; Loki did stand in their way. They needed a plan. One that involved the removal of his Highness.
As Sif stood to leave, Loki's voice stopped her. "Lady Sif. Stay a moment." Sif immediately grew cautious at this request and glanced over her shoulder at her retreating friends then back to Loki.
His green eyes fell to Fandral who lingered behind her shoulder. "The rest of you may leave," he declared, flatly. His eyes flickered to the weary guards that stood as still as statues. "All of you."
When they were alone Sif turned her attention upon Loki to find him watching her silently.
"You care for Thor?" The question took Sif by surprise.
"Yes," she answered without thought then added with narrow eyes. "As should you."
"But you don't just care for him..." He hmmed for a moment as he turned to go back up the steps of the throne. "You are romantically involved with him," He gave her an expectant look as he reclaimed his grand seat. "Yes?"
Sif was not sure how to answer that question. No, she wasn't romantically involved with Thor but he knew that. "What are you really asking?" She asked as she placed one fist on her hip and shifted her weight to her other foot with impatience.
"I need to know if you are promised to another man." He said it so plainly that it took Sif a moment to fully comprehend what he had just said.
"Are you asking to court me?" It wasn't until the words had left her mouth that Sif realised she sounded shocked. Well she was shocked. Had Hogun proven himself right once again? Loki had never shown any interest in her though. Why now?
"I can hardly think of a more humbling experience then courting a woman like you Lady Sif," he drawled, in a sarcastic manner. Although Sif was sure he wanted to, he was too much of a gentleman to roll his eyes. She gave him a look of resentment. "I only wish to fulfill my father's last wishes. And no I am not asking."
"You speak as though he is dead. Have you caused...this?" All of this, she wasn't just referring to the Odinsleep.
"Your accusations are both insulting and ignorant."
"I simply asked a question," she replied sharply. "No accusations were intended. A question you have yet to answer."
"You are not privy to the conversations I have in private nor am I obligated to answer you questions."
"Fine, may I go?" She snapped, already tired with this banter.
"No," he replied simply and smiled. She closed her eyes a moment as she inhaled slowly, hoping to find the strength to not tell him where he could shove that spear.
"Thor may have never realized your worth but my father did. He was going to announce this after Thor's coronation in fact..."
Sif sighed. "He was going to announce what?"
"Your betrothal," he replied and smiled when she gaped at him.
Sif shook her head in wonderment as she realized where he was going, "What could you possibly have to gain by making me Queen? What about your mother?"
"My mother is hardly fit for leadership at the moment and I do not wish to make her burden greater. I have nothing to gain. I'm only concerned for my people. Asgard needs a Queen just as well as they need a King."
Sif could feel her face going a little green as he continued. "You may find the idea appealing yet if you were to consider what i have to offer-"
"I don't care what you have to offer."
His eyelids drooped in annoyance. "All of Asgard will be present tonight when I announce our betrothal."
"And if I say no?" She titled her chin outward.
"You do not have that option," he lifted one hand and allowed something black and long to unravel from his finger. Hair. When had he even stolen it from her head? "You would be surprised how fun much a socerer can have with one strand of hair. "
"It's too bad my brother never realized your infatuation with him. You two have made quite the pair," he goaded with a smirk.
"You can tell him that when he returns," she replied with clenched teeth. "Actually I don't think he will be very happy when he discovers Asgard is being ruled by a Jotun. I don't think anyone will be happy."
Oh yes. She would tell everyone.
He pretended to be unaffected by her words but she could see by the tightening behind his eyes that she had said the right thing. She had angered him.
"From now on, I will be keeping a very close eye on you. So if you so much as think about saying something irrational, I will be there before the words can get past your lips. As for Thor returning, I'm not so sure he wants to," he commented as if he found it intriguing.
"Now, you are just being ridiculous," Sif scoffed.
"Am I? Did I mention he's found himself a mortal woman much to his liking?"
"Wh-at?" Sif faltered. Why would he say something like that? "How could you possibly know?" Sif challenged.
"You doubt my magical abilities then?" He asked, with laughter in his voice.
"When Thor returns-"
"You keep saying that like it will happen."
"Because he will."
They stared at eachother long and hard, neither of them willing to drop their gaze.
"Leave me," he finally growled.
Sif was more then glad to be relieved of his horrifying company. Pivoting on her heel, Sif retreated from his prescense, happily.
Sif stepped out into the sunlight and shielded her eyes before deciding she would go find her friends. As she descended the long steps, she was in too foul a mood to admire Asgard's architecture. When she reached the foot of the large stairs she took the wide path, shadowed by a high reaching structure connected to the palace. It didn't take her long to reach the court yard, where she found her companions.
Frandral and Hogun were sparring each other as Volstagg lounged on a bench. He seemed to be in the process of luring a nearby squirrel with a grape. She could tell they had been waiting for here, from the way they immediately broke apart at her arrival.
"You should still be healing, Fandral." Sif scolded as he lifted a hand to whipe the sweat from his brow.
"I feel as healthy as the day I was born," Fandral shrugged with a charming grin though she noticed a stiffness in the way he moved. Men.
"What did Loki want?" Hogun asked, retracting the spikes from his mace.
"He," Sif hesitated for a moment not sure where to begin. "He said...he is to announce me as Queen. Tonight."
She received different reactions from all three of her comrades.
"Well I'll be damned!" Volstagg burst into laughter, being the first to speak. "I'd always thought the boy to be a eunuch!"
Sif cast him a glare that said that's not funny, before looking at her other two companions. Hogun seemed to be calculating, while Fandrall seemed worried.
Fandral slowly nodded, as if following Hogun's thought pattern. "Tonight we will get Thor back."
"Just how are we going to travel into Midgard to begin with?" Volstagg snorted.
Sif nodded at Volstagg's statement. "Yes, it's forbidden."
"Thor would do the same for us," Fandral stated. The four were silent for a moment, knowing it was true.
"Oh hush. Heimdall may be watching," Volstagg muttered.
Sif shook her head, "Never mind Heimdall for the moment. It's Loki we must worry about. He will know the moment we open the gate-"
"That is why you can not come with us Sif," Fandrall interrupted. Sif gaped at him. He couldn't expect her to sit at the sidelines?
"Yes, you must keep him distracted," Hogun explained. "Tonight, while Loki is announcing your betrothal, we will cross into Midgard."
"You ask too much of me," she stated bluntly. Fandral sat down beside her and rubbed her back.
"When we come back, Thor will be with us," Her mind flashed to what Loki had said earlier; I'm not so sure he wants to come back. She hated Loki for planting silly doubts in her head. "He will fix this. Until then, you are of greatest help, here."
Sif sighed.
"No how about a duel, your highness?" Volstagg challenged, and just narrowly escaped her flying fist.
XxX
Sif had a feeling, getting Heimdall to disobey Loki's orders would not be a challenging task. The gatekeeper seemed to hold a certain animosity for the young prince.
The true challenge would be to distract Loki.
When she reached her room, Sif went straight for her yanked a simple peach gown from her wardrobe and eyed it critically for a moment. It was something she would wear but doubted it would catch Loki's eye. The dress was dreadfully boring, painfully modest and hardly qualified as a distraction. As she was placing the dress back into the wardrobe she noticed a long green gown. She slowly pulled it out and smirked. Now that was something would catch any man's eye. And wasn't Loki's favorite color green? She wasn't sure.
She laid the gown on her bed before going to take a quick bath. After drying off she pulled her hair back into a long elegant braid. Lastly, she stepped into the long green dress and turned to look into her vanity.
The flowy dress wasn't overly revealing yet still showed a bit skin. The back was in the shape of a V, leaving the toned muscles of her back on display. The sides were of the dress were cut out, but not largely. Beneath her breast was a small slit, that was suggestive but not provocative. The material was soft and thin; perfectly comfortable. But she still very uncomfortable.
She slumped on the bed and took a deep calming breath while she pulled on a pair of soft sandals. She wasn't really going to be betrothed. She wasn't really going to be his Queen. And she wasn't really going to marry Loki. Thor would be back within a day and all this ridiculousness would be put to an end.
Then why was she really nervous?
She was so much better at being warrior then a woman.
End of chapter
Author's Notes:
A link to Sif's green dress is on my profile.
Chapter Question: Did you all like Loki better in Thor or The Avengers? And why?
Thanks for reading! Have a happy tide :)